Chapter 46

Buck felt the pressure. He felt the pressure from Brenda to be a better man. He felt the strain of not knowing how to be an instant father to Chanice and CJ. And he felt the worry of not knowing if he would be convicted of a murder he didn’t commit. The stress hovered over him every morning he woke, and every night before he fell asleep.

He wanted to run for the first time in his life. He couldn’t stand it, and he wanted the chance to retreat. CJ followed him around when he was home and cried constantly if he left. Chanice walked around in a catatonic state, barely talking. Brenda was practically pulling out strands of her hair, trying to be supportive. It was too much. She would have run away if she didn’t understand the repercussions of such a thing. She had readjusted to his way of life, but she hadn’t figured out how to like it.

Finally, after a week had gone by, Brenda ditched the pity. She was tired of being heartbroken by the misery the children were suffering. She found her footing and decided to change their fate. It couldn’t be healthy for them not to have any fun.

“CJ and Chanice, let’s go. We are getting out of this house right now,” she yelled from the foyer.

Chanice walked out of the kitchen, but didn’t say a word. She moped to the door and watched as CJ bounced down the steps.

“Where are we going?” CJ asked.

“Out, handsome,” Brenda answered. “Now come on before I change my mind.”

***

The sign advertising the skating rink brought smiles to all their faces. CJ and Chanice giggled, thinking Brenda had lost her mind.

“Come on,” Brenda said. “But first you have to make some promises. No broken bones, and don’t knock out any teeth.” She laughed. “I’m not a skater, so you two will have to show me how it’s done.”

“You’ve never skated before?” Chanice asked. “How come? Didn’t they have skates when you were little?”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t any good at it.”

CJ took charge. He led the girls to the door and mimicked his uncle, holding open the door. As they headed to the booth to pay, he asked all the necessary questions. “Excuse me, is there a separate fee for children and adults?”

The attendant pointed at the sign above his head before she spoke. “Hi, cutie. There’s a special price today for children, but if your mommy wants to skate too, she has to pay regular price.”

Brenda smiled at the attendant. “I won’t be skating,” she said, rubbing her belly. “But hook these two up.”

Chanice didn’t wait for encouragement. She heard the heavy beats from the music, and the flashing neon lights were calling her to the floor. She hit the floor quickly and was whizzing by to the beat before Brenda could get over to her position on the sideline.

Brenda laughed as Chanice clowned and turned backward. “Look at your sister,” she said to CJ. “She’s pretty good. I’d love to skate like that. Will you teach me someday?”

CJ watched his sister and then turned back to Brenda with a look of astonishment on his face. “That takes a lot of practice, B,” he said, mimicking Buck’s behavior. “You might wanna sit this one out while we show you how to do it.”

It was endearing to hear him talk so freely. She only hoped the happiness of the day would hold out. “Come on, little man,” she said, pulling out the camera.

CJ was better than Chanice. Before long, he was twisting and turning forward and backward, doing tricks that had Brenda’s jaw on the floor.

They stayed until dinnertime, and then headed home.

Buck was in the kitchen when his family arrived home. He was cooking and wondering where they were when he heard Chanice cracking jokes on his apron.

“Uncle Buck is Mr. Mom. Quick, CJ, look. All he needs is a wig, and he’ll be an ugly girl.”

“Hey, you not supposed to insult the cook until after you eat. Oh, and for your information, I’m the only person in this house that can cook.” Buck splashed the children with water from the sink. He was amazed at the loud laughter and the excitement in their eyes. He knew something was up. “Where have y’all been?” he asked CJ.

“We went to this skating rink. Uncle, it was fun. You should come next time,” CJ said, bouncing around the kitchen in his excitement. “Brenda just watched, because she was too scared.”

Brenda winked at Buck, happy for the first time she was the source of their excitement.

Buck watched their expressions and he felt pride in the good deed she had done. Maybe it was time to lighten up on her. “You can’t skate?” he asked Brenda. “How is that?”

“She can’t skate or cook, but she knows how to have fun,” Chanice said.

“I bet Uncle Buck can’t skate either,” Brenda said. “If you so great, let’s go back, so you can show me.”

“Woman, please, you don’t want me to show you up. All right, tomorrow let’s go to this rink.”

“Can we invite Uncle Q and the others?” Chanice pleaded. “I know Mifaith can’t skate yet, but it could be fun for all of us.”

Buck pointed to the phone. He wanted the children to feel comfortable speaking to everyone in their family. “It’s your idea, so you take the initiative,” he told Chanice.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“It means you take the first step. You make the phone call.”

As Chanice turned to use the phone, Buck looked at Brenda. “Thank you so much for doing that today. It’s the first time I’ve seen them genuinely having a good time. You had me worried for a minute, talking about skating while you all knocked up.”

She smiled, and then her expression turned serious. “Buck, this wasn’t about getting you to acknowledge my good deed. It was an idea I had because I was tired of feeling useless. I want to be more than a babysitter. I want to be friends with them. I want them to depend on me too.”

“I get it, B, and I know we’ve been a little hard on you. I’m sorry. It was never my intention to make you feel useless. I’m just learning to be a full-time uncle, and sharing the duties is a little tough. I didn’t want them to count on you. I’m sorry.”

“Maybe I deserved your doubt, but the truth is, I’m here, and all I want to do is be good to them. I’ve accepted my faults, but that’s not what this is about.”

Before he could respond, she shared CJ’s antics with him.

“He is a mini you. He walked in the rink and took charge. I was very impressed with his manners. We may have to get that boy into some kind of leadership program and find him a good group of kids to play with. He’s too serious for his age.”

Buck laughed at Brenda’s excitement. It was warming, and now he knew that she was going to be a permanent fixture in their lives.

“OK, Auntie B, what do we do about Chanice?” Buck asked.

“That girl got more questions than I can answer. She is nurturing and tough. Let’s put her in Girl Scouts, for starters.”

“Whatever you say, lady, but when she wants to kill you for being around a bunch of squealing little girls, don’t expect me to save you.”

“She’ll love it. I did. Jahson, you realize we sitting here planning their futures like real parents?” Brenda chuckled.

“Do you realize that we are as real as it gets? Among other things, we need some time alone to talk about our future. Are you ready to answer some questions?”

“That depends on the questions. Furthermore, if it has anything to do with fighting, fussing, or leaving, keep that to yourself,” she said.

“Listen to me, B. I’m responsible for those babies, but I need some help. I can’t do it by myself. We need to come to some sort of decision about us before we mess up two more lives, plus the one growing in you. I love you without question, but there’s still the trust factor.”

“Damn that, Jahson. You don’t want to trust, because it makes it easy for you not to forgive. I’m not asking for your forgiveness anymore. I’m here. The only problem we really have is simply, if we share custody, and if something happens to you, am I their legal guardian?”

“Well, I guess that’s the only problem we have then. It don’t matter that we’re about to have a baby of our own? It doesn’t matter to you that he needs a last name? It doesn’t matter that I want to marry you? Yeah, I guess custody is our only problem,” he said, a smirk on his face.

“To hell with that! You suck at proposing. Are you the same man that swept me off my feet from the first night we met? Nope, that wasn’t a proposal. Try again. And where the hell is the ring?” She laughed when Buck’s face turned serious.

Then Buck laughed. He realized Anissa was right. Brenda wouldn’t appreciate being proposed to in some casual setting. She wanted the excitement, and he would have tried to give it to her, if they hadn’t been so buried by the drama in their lives.

“Who are you? And what did you do with the woman that would have been happy with just a promise of love? Instead I’m shacking up with some broad that wants a big, pretentious engagement.”

“Pretentious, my ass. I want to spend some of that hard-earned money on an engagement party that will make some folks jealous. Besides, I’m pregnant, and you have to indulge all my crazy whims.”

Buck nodded. It was amusing to him how she could turn him into some docile idiot and make him angry all at the same time. This wasn’t one of those moments, though. He wanted to give her a dream party, especially since she’d proven she deserved it.

“I’ll propose to you however you see fit, as long as you promise to say yes.”