Chapter 30

Ana, 1941

No, this couldn’t be happening. Not now. Ana sat on the edge of her living room couch to grasp the news Rafael was telling her. He had a radiant smile on his face and a spark in his otherwise dull eyes.

“So what do you think?” he said. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

“Your uncle just died and you think it’s wonderful?”

“No, tontita. It’s not that. You know what this means for us?”

She knew. She just didn’t want to think about it.

“Tío Román left us his ranch. That means I won’t have to work for your father anymore.” His brow furrowed. “Stop biting your nails, Ana. It’s such an ugly habit.”

Ana dropped her hand.

He leaned against the oak cupboard. “We’ll finally be free.”

“Yes, but it also means we’ll be moving away from San Isidro.”

“Which is the best part.” He opened a bottle of whiskey, the one he’d been saving for the long-awaited promotion at Joyería Platas that never came. “I can’t wait to leave this filthy town.”

“But the country, Rafael? I didn’t think you liked it.”

He poured half a glass of whiskey and watered it down. “I don’t. But at this point I don’t care, as long as it takes me away from here.” He extended the glass to her. “Besides, how hard can it be? Raise a few cows, produce some milk and butter here and there. Anyone can do it.”

Ana eyed her drink. She rarely drank, but today was one of those days when she needed it. She took a sip—it was hideous. “Where exactly is the ranch?”

“In Tabacundo, north of Quito, on the way to Ibarra.”

Goodness. That was so far away, at least a six-hour bus ride. She couldn’t go that far, not now that she had the love she’d longed for all her life.

“I can’t wait to see your father’s face when I tell him I’m leaving, or that good-for-nothing cousin of yours!” He chuckled. “I’m a free man, Ana.”

The liquid burned Ana’s throat. Through watery eyes, she could see that Rafael was adding whiskey to his glass.

“The only problem is the house,” he said. “According to Tío Román’s executor, it’s in bad condition. The plumbing needs to be redone and there are problems with the roofing. But the house is big enough for all of us.”

Ana studied her husband as he gulped his drink. This might not be such a bad idea after all.

“No plumbing? Rafael, how can you even think of taking your family to a house without plumbing?”

“Well, there’s nothing we can do but be patient. The renovations won’t take long, a few months at the most.”

A few months? Ana got excited as the idea took shape in her mind. “How many months?”

“I don’t know. Maybe six, maybe more. You know how slow people are here.”

Perfect.

She took the glass from Rafael’s hands and set it on the end table. Then, she held his hands in hers. “How about this? You go first. Work on the renovations, get the house ready for us, and then we’ll meet you there. That way you don’t have to worry about us living in those conditions.”

“And I’m supposed to be there by myself for all those months?”

“You won’t be alone. Tío Román had a foreman, right? And the workers and their families, I’m sure.”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on.” She gave him back his whiskey. “You know this is the best solution. You can’t subject us to such miserable conditions.”

Rafael ran his fingers through Ana’s wavy hair and stopped at her cheek. “You know that motherhood has set well with you?”

Ana faked a smile, disgusted by his liquor-tainted breath and the touch of his cold hands. She undid the top button of her collar blouse. It was the price she had to pay, the price for her freedom.

As the bus taking Rafael north faded in the distance, the pressure in Ana’s chest released, as though the chains of marriage had been miraculously unlocked. For the first time in her life she was free. And the feeling was exhilarating.

“Isn’t this a beautiful day?” she told the woman standing beside her. The woman lowered a handkerchief from her tearful eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” What a horrible person she was. In her excitement, it hadn’t crossed her mind that someone might be having a sad farewell.

She scurried away from the Terminal Terrestre. She couldn’t believe Rafael had agreed to leave without his family. Tío Román’s ranch must have been in really bad shape. But she couldn’t be too confident, not until she was far away from here, far from Rafael’s reach. She took longer steps. She had to hurry lest Rafael changed his mind and returned.

The walk home seemed endless. The apartment still smelled of Rafael, of the unfinished cigarette he’d discarded in the metal ashtray before heading for the bus station, of the black coffee he’d had for breakfast and left on the table. The bathroom still held the humidity from his shower—perhaps the last shower he would take in a long time—and the pine scent of his soap. The facial hair he’d shaved was still stuck on the basin. She rinsed the hairs off, smiling. After today, she wouldn’t have to clean up his mess ever again.

She scrambled to the bedroom and removed her valise from under the bed. She neatly folded every one of her blouses and skirts and put them inside, one by one, while whistling “Volver,” one of her sister’s favorite tangos.

She was going to miss Amanda. And she didn’t even want to think about her mother. Who knew when—if ever—she would see her family again.

The ring of the doorbell vibrated all the way to her spine. Rafael! He was back! How would she explain the valise on the bed, the messy kitchen? But no, it couldn’t be him; he had a key. Or had he left it behind? The doorbell rang again.

“Ana!” a female voice called out.

Ana’s shoulders relaxed a bit. She shut her bedroom door and crossed the tiny living room. Through the peephole, she recognized Abigail.

Her sister was pale and her locks wilder than usual.

Ana opened the door. “What’s wrong?”

Abigail chewed on her cracked lips.

“May I come in?”

Abigail sat on the sofa and fumbled inside her purse until she found a cigarette.

“Since when do you smoke?”

Abigail lit the cigarette. “I don’t know, a few weeks.” After inhaling a drag of smoke, she coughed.

Ana eyed her wristwatch. “What happened, Abi?”

Abigail looked at her through the waves of smoke. “I have something very important to talk to you about.”