what does confidence feel like?
Confidence is the key to success and to enjoying life. It means you count on you. Everyone gets his or her confidence shaken up periodically, especially in stressful situations. Having your confidence rattled and then restored is okay. Allowing your confidence to be damaged is not okay. When you let outside forces or your internal monologue stop you from seeing yourself in a positive, accurate, and realistic way, then self-doubt and a more negative, inaccurate view of yourself take over.
Chelsea and Austin
Chelsea wakes up feeling good about herself, tossing on her clothes, barely glancing in the mirror, and grabbing her books. She excitedly takes the stairs two steps at a time as she leaves to face her day, feeling prepared and ready. Austin, on the other hand, wakes up feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. He obsesses over what to wear and spends enormous amounts of time in front of the mirror, unhappy with what he sees. He walks slowly out of the house, dreading the day ahead, afraid of what people will think of him and how he will perform. Chelsea’s story reflects self-confidence, while Austin is an example of a person with a lack of self-confidence.
Chelsea defines confidence as feeling good about herself and optimistic about her day ahead. Austin believes confidence comes from other people accepting and approving of him, which actually prevents him from feeling encouraged about his day and instead makes him feel threatened by it.
Everyone has his or her own personal experience and definition of self-confidence. The key is not to let life rattle your self-confidence. Interview four different people who you believe are confident. They could be family members, teachers, coaches, friends, community leaders, or anyone you think displays confidence. Ask each of them how they define confidence and how they know they are feeling confident. (If you need more space than the lines provided, you can download a worksheet version of this exercise at http://www.newharbinger.com/34831.)
- How do you define confidence? __________________
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- How do you know you are feeling confident? __________________
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- How do you define confidence?
- How do you know you are feeling confident? __________________
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- How do you define confidence? __________________
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- How do you know you are feeling confident? __________________
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- How do you define confidence? __________________
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- How do you know you are feeling confident? __________________
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After interviewing people, did you notice that confidence comes from more than one quality and that everyone has an individual experience of being confident? Did you gain any information that makes you want to update your definition of confidence? Write down your new view here:
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The Bottom Line: Self-confidence comes from within.