what is self-doubt?
Self-doubt is a harsh critic to have sitting on your shoulder. Rather than making a fair call about a situation, it defines you with an extremely negative label. You can’t see yourself in a realistic and accurate way; instead, you focus on yourself in a negative way.
Chandni
Sometimes Chandni wakes up feeling so good about herself. The day in front of her is clear and she’s ready to start it. Other days, she wakes up riddled with self-doubt that makes everything feel hard. Chandni doesn’t like the way she feels in her clothes or the way she looks in the mirror. As she travels to school, Chandni feels overwhelmed and worries about her schoolwork. She second-guesses every decision she makes, from what she should eat to how to answer a question on a test. In her head, she hears herself saying: “I’m not good enough.” All this thinking clouds her mind with doubt and makes it really hard to concentrate.
Take this doubt quiz to see whether you experience self-doubt. Check all the statements that apply to you.
Have you often…
- __________________felt down?
- __________________been self-critical?
- __________________been uncertain?
- __________________been insecure?
- __________________been hard on yourself?
- __________________beat yourself up mentally?
- __________________second-guessed yourself?
- __________________taken the blame when there were other factors that also played a role?
- __________________taken a neutral situation and turned it into an example of your shortcoming?
- __________________taken things personally?
- __________________given up rather than tried?
- __________________believed in others more than in yourself?
- __________________taken a weakness and let it define you?
- __________________avoided something you cared about or wanted to do?
- __________________let your thoughts paralyze your efforts?
- __________________not bothered sticking up for yourself?
- __________________let someone talk you into something you knew wasn’t okay to do?
- __________________let someone talk you into something you didn’t want to do?
- __________________gone along with something that your gut told you was wrong?
- __________________felt guilty, even when you are not at fault?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you’ve experienced self-doubt. Here is a scale that will help you know how much you are held back by self-doubt.
- 0–2 checkmarks: You rarely experience self-doubt
- 3–7 checkmarks: You often experience self-doubt
- 8–20 checkmarks: You consistently experience self-doubt
It is helpful to recognize when your self-doubting thoughts have been triggered. Self-doubt can lead you to jump to the wrong conclusion, to change or question a good decision, or to do something you later regret. When doubt is in charge, you feel bad about yourself and can make poor choices.
This week, try to notice when you experience self-doubt. Record each time it arises. Use the quiz in this exercise (available for download at http://www.newharbinger.com/34831) to recognize how self-doubt expressed itself.
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Self-doubt expressed: __________________
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Situation: __________________
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Self-doubt expressed: __________________
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At the end of the week, look at your record. Do you notice any patterns? Are there certain circumstances in which doubt tends to show up the most? Write down your observations here.
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The Bottom Line: Look out for your doubt.