capture your thoughts
Your history affects both your self-confidence and doubt. How you interpret situations in the moment influences how you feel and behave. Day-to-day well-being and success depend on your thinking. Simply put, situations don’t cause you to feel a certain way. It’s your perceptions and interpretations—your thinking—that influence how you feel, act, and physically respond. Don’t make the mistake of underestimating the power of your thoughts. Thoughts have great influence and can cause you to unknowingly bolster false doubts instead of building accurate confidence.
Elijah
Elijah was getting ready for the big lacrosse tournament. He and his teammates were on the bus and totally pumped to go crush all of their opponents. The team knew they could dominate most of the other teams. As they were getting ready to start the first game, their coach let them know that several college scouts were watching to check them out. Elijah began thinking that maybe he wasn’t good enough and had images of himself messing up. Self-doubt got in his way and he didn’t have a very good game.
You can learn to pay attention to what you think. The first step in the process of examining your thinking is to capture your thoughts. What’s going on in your head? It could be a thought. It could be an image, a mental picture of your thoughts. It could be the meaning you attach to that thought or image—or to a memory, the time of year, a dream, and so on. Read this narrative and practice capturing your thoughts.
It is lunchtime at school and the weather is exceptionally nice. Most people, including you, head outside to catch some rays. You hear two guys arguing and their voices are getting louder and louder.
What would you think? __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Did any of these thoughts come to mind? Check those that do:
- __________________This is getting interesting.
- __________________I’m getting out of here before this turns into trouble.
- __________________What a bunch of idiots.
- __________________You can’t trust anyone, I better watch my back.
- __________________No one has any respect for anyone else.
How would you feel? Circle all the descriptions that apply:
Anxious Sad Excited Angry Nervous Uncomfortable Neutral
What would you do? __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Would you do any of these things?
- __________________Get closer to see the action.
- __________________Disappear as quickly as you can.
- __________________Stand your ground and stay right where you are.
Now the argument has gotten physical. The two guys are pushing and shoving each other.
What would you think? __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Do any of these thoughts come to mind? Check those that do:
- __________________I’ve got to break this up.
- __________________This is crazy, I’m out of here.
- __________________Someone is going to get seriously hurt, I’ll call for help.
How would you feel? Circle all the descriptions that apply:
Anxious Sad Excited Angry Nervous Uncomfortable Neutral
What would you do? __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Would you do any of these things?
- __________________Get even closer to see the action.
- __________________Disappear as quickly as you can.
- __________________Jump in to help break it up.
Reflect on the ways what is going on around you directly influences how you feel and what you choose to do.
Let’s imagine another situation. Try to capture your thoughts about it.
You are in math class and the teacher calls on one of your classmates. The classmate doesn’t know the answer and is stumbling over her words. You don’t know the answer either and the teacher is pressing this kid for an answer.
What would you think? __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Do any of these thoughts come to mind? Check those that do:
- __________________Please don’t call on me.
- __________________I’m in trouble if he finds out I don’t know the answer, either.
- __________________The teacher should move on and let someone who knows the answer talk.
- __________________Clearly none of us know the answer—he should just tell us what it is.
How would you feel? Circle any descriptions that apply:
Anxious Sad Excited Angry Nervous Uncomfortable Neutral
What would you do? __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Would you do any of these things?
- __________________Shrink down in your seat and hope you’re not noticed.
- __________________Speak up to say that you don’t know the answer, either. Ask the teacher to tell the class what it is.
- __________________Ask another question to divert the teacher’s attention.
- __________________Ask to use the bathroom so there is no chance of being caught not knowing the answer.
The teacher is getting increasingly frustrated with the student. The teacher is turning red and his voice is getting louder. He starts to reprimand the student for being unprepared.
What would you think? __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Do any of these thoughts come to mind? Check those that do:
- __________________This is so unfair. The teacher should move on.
- __________________I hope I’m not next.
- __________________Who cares!
What would you do? __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Would you do any of these things?
- __________________Tense up and start to stress out.
- __________________Tune the teacher out.
- __________________Volunteer that, although you read the material, you are clueless as well.
Again, reflect on how what you think about the situation directly influences how you feel and choose to behave.
Over the next several days, when you notice yourself in an upsetting, unpleasant, or negative situation, ask yourself these questions.
- What am I thinking?
- How do I feel?
- What will I do?
There’s also a worksheet available for this exercise at http://www.newharbinger.com/34831, if you’d like to journal about your answers.
The Bottom Line: Capture your thinking before your thoughts capture you.