chill-out strategies
It is possible to stay in control even when you feel out of control. The key is not letting you freak yourself out. Strong emotions and bodily sensations can affect your thinking and what actions you take—but you have the power to chill yourself out.
Jared
Jared was angry when his parents grounded him for getting home an hour late. He thought that it wasn’t fair and he wanted them to hear his side of the story. He kept yelling louder so that they might actually hear him. He got so mad that he threw his phone and broke it. Later, he realized that all his reaction did was cut his lifeline to his friends, double his punishment, and stop his parents from listening to him. Jared thought, If I could hit the rewind button, I’d realize the punishment was fair, own my part, and be cool with it.
Think back to the last time your emotions were over the top, to the point that you could feel it in your body. Imagine yourself back in that situation and using some of these chill-out strategies.
- Breathe in slowly through your nose and breathe out slowly through your mouth.
- Listen to calming music.
- Sing your favorite song and focus on the words.
- Go for a run or take a walk.
- Call a friend or family member.
- Watch a TV show or movie that makes you happy.
- Find a comedy bit on the Internet and laugh.
- Think through the good stuff that happened that day or the day before.
- Do some stretching.
- Let go of mental tension by relaxing your muscles.
- Plan a fabulous vacation in your mind.
- Get busy doing something for a set amount of time and give your brain a break.
- Read a book or magazine.
- Schedule a predetermined amount of time to play a video or computer game.
- Do something creative.
- Plan a meal or check out menus.
Example:
Emma couldn’t find her hockey stick and was convinced her sister took it and lost it. Instead of storming into her sister’s room and laying into her for losing the hockey stick, she went for a run and then calmly checked out her suspicion.
Try the following scenario. What chill-out strategy might you use? You check your grades online and see two of your completed assignments are missing and graded as zeros. Instead of letting your emotions get the best of you, first you __________________and only then do you e-mail your teacher.
Think of the last time you would have benefited from a chill-out strategy. What did you do and what could you have tried?
Situation: __________________
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What you did: __________________
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What chill-out strategy you could have tried instead: __________________
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Like any skill or talent, the more you apply these strategies, the better. Pick a few of chill-out strategies from the list that appeal to you. Next time you have an emotional moment, try one or several of them, see how easy or difficult it is to chill out and whether it helps you behave more confidently.
Situation: __________________
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Chill-out strategy tried: __________________
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Did you feel more in control? Circle one answer: YES NO
The Bottom Line: I’m more in control when I am chill.