Examining your thoughts puts you in charge of how you feel, how your body responds, and how you choose to act. Once you’ve chilled yourself out, it’s time to check out your thinking. The first step is capturing your thoughts. Then, once you have identified them, check those thoughts for accuracy. Thoughts can be distorted and not a reflection of the truth. When this happens, an inaccurate viewpoint is guiding you instead of reality. It’s time to start thinking about your thinking and to practice this skill as you would any other. Gathering the facts is one way to investigate the accuracy of your thinking and regain control.
Sam
Sam walked into class and everyone looked at him. They were all laughing hysterically. He automatically thought that everyone was laughing at him. Feeling uncomfortable, he took his seat and didn’t talk to anyone. Had Sam gathered the facts, he would have found out that Joe had just told a joke.
A great motto to remember is: “Just because you think it or feel it doesn’t mean it’s true.” That’s why it’s important to gather evidence for, and also against, the thought you have captured. To do this, rather than going with your personal interpretation pretend you are a scientist collecting objective observations.
Here’s an exercise that will help you practice.
Think of a recent situation that upset you. Capture the thoughts you had and list them here.
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
For each captured thought, write out the facts that support or don’t support it.
Captured thought: __________________
| Facts That Support This Thought | Facts That Don’t Support This Thought |
|---|---|
Captured thought: __________________
| Facts That Support This Thought | Facts That Don’t Support This Thought |
|---|---|
| Facts That Support This Thought | Facts That Don’t Support This Thought |
|---|---|
What do you conclude from the facts you collected? Was the original thought true? Exaggerated? Biased? Unhelpful? Do the facts lead you to a new perspective on the situation? If so, record it in the space below.
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
If you want to try this experiment again, you can download a worksheet version of this exercise at http://www.newharbinger.com/34831.
Over the course of the next several days, use the shifts you notice in your moods or body sensations to remind you to capture your thoughts and question how true they are. Note the situation, your mood, and body sensations below, then use the table for your thoughts.
Activating situation:
___________________________________________________________________
Mood: __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Body sensations: __________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Activating situation: __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Mood: __________________
___________________________________________________________________
Body sensations: __________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
| Captured Thought | Facts That Support Thought | Facts That Don’t Support Thought | How True Was The Thought? |
|---|---|---|---|
How do you feel now that you’ve looked at the facts?
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
When you are on the go, you can recreate this table in a notebook or even on a napkin. (You can also download a worksheet version of the exercise at the book’s website: http://www.newharbinger.com/34831.)
The Bottom Line: If you remember that your thinking affects your emotions, body responses, and actions, you can regain control.