try not to jump to conclusions or overgeneralize
It’s tempting to take one fact or detail from a situation and, in your mind, run with your interpretation. But you’re not considering all the information. It’s like watching a few minutes of a movie or reading one page of a book and deciding you hate the story or a character. You don’t have enough information to form a reasonable or valid opinion and have instead formed a snap conclusion or overgeneralization.
Melissa
When Melissa’s friends don’t text her back right away, she makes snap conclusions: they are blowing her off, don’t want her along, or are purposely avoiding her. The truth could be that they didn’t see her text, their phone was dead, they were driving, or they just haven’t had time to respond.
Similarly, when Melissa’s grade on a paper wasn’t posted right away, she thought her teacher never got her paper and didn’t even consider that it just hadn’t been scored yet.
Melissa’s coach is usually friendly, but one day he walked by without saying hello. Melissa’s snap conclusion was that he was either mad at her or unhappy with something she did, or that he didn’t like her anymore. But he simply didn’t see her because he was preoccupied with the class he was about to teach.
Here are some good strategies to use that will prevent you from jumping to conclusions before you have all the facts.
- Don’t make predictions about a situation before it actually happens.
- Take the magnifying glass off the one piece of information you keep thinking about.
- Avoid focusing on the one element that upset you, while leaving out other facts and details.
- To see the situation clearly, give each fact and detail equal importance.
- Collect as many facts as possible.
- Before jumping to a conclusion, remind yourself to wait until the situation has played out all the way.
- Base an accurate conclusion on the bigger picture and not just one piece of information.
Think of a situation in which you snapped to a conclusion without looking at all the possibilities and answer these questions in the space provided.
What happened? __________________
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When you capture your thoughts, what snap conclusion did you jump to?
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What are some possible alternative conclusions?
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Because time has passed since this situation happened, how was your snap conclusion different from the truth that eventually became clear to you?
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Run an experiment this week: when you capture a snap conclusion that is causing you distress, try using the strategies previously offered in this activity. Then write down how these strategies helped you. (If you need more space for this—or if you want your experiment to run a few weeks longer—you can download a worksheet for this exercise from http://www.newharbinger.com/34831.)
When you captured your thoughts, what snap conclusion did you jump to?
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What strategies can help you see more possible conclusions?
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What are some possible alternative conclusions?
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Did you find using these strategies helpful? If yes, how were they helpful?
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Which conclusion reflected the truth, the snap conclusion or one of the alternatives you considered?
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The Bottom Line: Stop and think. Rather than makinga snap judgment, take the time to consider all the information.