let go of worry
Worry consists of persistent, nagging thoughts—it can even feel like you are obsessing about something. You think about things that have already happened that you cannot change or things that may happen in the future. Thoughts that worry about the future may take the form of “what-if” scenarios, worst-case situations, or awful consequences. Worry creates a lot of unnecessary emotional and physical distress. It puts your body on high alert, because you fear impending danger. Worry serves no purpose and instead steals energy, fatigues you, exacerbates pain, interferes with sleep and eating, increases muscular tension, isolates you, and keeps you from enjoying the present moment. Don’t waste your time with delaying, limiting, or setting a time to worry. Work on eliminating it completely. You will stop worrying if you can accept that should a real problem arise, you will get through it.
Sam
Sam has been having trouble sleeping. Every night as bedtime approaches he worries he will not be able to sleep. Instead of focusing on a book or paying attention to the television, he thinks, What if I can’t sleep, what if I can’t sleep, what if I can’t sleep? Dwelling on the fear of not being able to sleep leads him to worry more about all the terrible consequences of not sleeping, such as feeling awful the next day, being unable to function in school and on the field, and being dull to hang around with.
Name a worry you have had recently, such as the following: “What if I don’t do well on my test?”; “What if he doesn’t call me back?”; “What if I get a low score on my college entrance exams?”; “What if I don’t have a date for prom?”; “What if my cold doesn’t get better?”; or “What if I get a big pimple right before my senior picture?”
Describe your worry: __________________
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How did it affect you emotionally, physically, and behaviorally?
Emotional examples: fear, sadness, anger, anxiety
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Physical examples: chest discomfort, stomach distress, dizziness, sweating, muscular tension
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Behavioral examples: pacing, inability to sit still, shaking
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Did worry block you from achieving a goal or getting something you wanted?
Circle one answer: YES NO
If you want to do this exercise with other worries, you can download a worksheet for this exercise at http://www.newharbinger.com/34831.
Here is a process you can follow to replace a worry with problem solving.
State your worrisome thought here: __________________
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Ask yourself, is the worry is a remote possibility, or likely to happen?
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STOP HERE if the worry is a remote possibility. Continue to the next question if it’s likely to happen.
Define the real problem, as specifically as possible: __________________
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What is the worst thing that could happen?
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STOP HERE if the worst thing that could happen is fairly insignificant. Continue to the next question if what might happen feels like a big deal.
If the worst thing happened, could you cope?
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If what you are concerned about is more than likely to happen and would be a significant problem, what options do you have to take care of it? List them and look at their pros and cons.
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Can you deal with the situation now? Later? Or is it something that is out of your control?
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STOP HERE if the problem is out of your control or there is nothing you can do. Continue to the next question if there is something you can do.
What appropriate action can you take?
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Use this process every time you start to worry. (There’s a worksheet version of this exercise available at http://www.newharbinger.com/34831, if you find it useful.) Facing a real problem and trying to address it is not the same as worry! Remember that the goal is to turn off worry and to problem solve whenever you can.
The Bottom Line: Don’t let worry rule you, let it go.