At day’s end, after their four-hour hike up the mountain, Luna Lake sparkled with deep blues and greens, hugged by lush forests. The sun had dipped behind the mountains, drawing shadows across the campsite. Streaks of watery color spread across the horizon as if they had been dabbed there by a giant paintbrush.
Jackson had taken the lead by setting up the tents by the lake, underneath a grove of trees. When the tents had been in place, he had spent the latter part of the afternoon sitting around chatting with Blaire and Chase.
His brother had been strangely quiet.
When dinner time rolled around, Chase cooked homemade lentil stew with dried onions and sun-dried tomatoes over an open campfire. She had proven to be an incredible chef, despite the limited ingredients.
“So, uh…” Jake said, rising to his feet from his perch on a rock. “Chase and I are going to go get some, uh…we’re going for a walk or something. Can we have a chat later?”
Jackson’s stomach seized. The big talk. “Sure. Whenever you’re ready.” Since you’ve barely uttered a word to me today that would be great.
As Chase and Jake wandered away toward their tent, which stood about thirty yards away, Jackson helped Blaire clean up the dinner dishes. A feeling of annoyance darted around his mind like a gnat. Jake has barely said a word to me today, and he’s acting all twitchy and weird. Is he using again? Why the distancing?
He pointed at the leftovers. “What should we do with this? Save some for them?”
Blaire shrugged. “Why? Do you want it?”
“I wouldn’t complain,” Jackson said, shoving his annoyance aside and offering her an easy smile.
“Knock yourself out,” she said, “but save room for brownies for dessert.”
“Brownies? You made brownies?” he said, scooping the last of the stew into his mouth. “This trip just keeps getting better and better.”
She smiled, wickedly at him. “Just you wait for the real dessert I have in mind when we’re tucked in our tent.”
He chuckled. “What do you have in mind?”
“Oh, something big and hard and fun,” she said, eyes twinkling. “I might want it in my mouth, I might want it in my pussy. I haven’t decided yet.”
He groaned and threw back his head. “Best. Trip. Ever.”
He gathered the plates, and then strode toward the lake, crouched, and dipped the metal dishes in the cool water.
Several beers and sodas lay immersed near his feet in a rock enclosed pool. Placed there earlier by Blaire, they were getting chilled as only a mountain lake could do.
“You want another beer?” he said.
“No, I’m good,” she said, stepping next to him with the empty pan. As she rinsed her pan, she said, “Your brother’s been awfully quiet since we arrived and made camp. I barely heard him say two words.”
“I know. Too quiet.” Jackson shook the water off the plates. “The last couple of times I saw him he was more communicative. He seems to have spiraled back into familiar territory. I hope he’s not using again.”
“Yeah, especially now that he’s got the new girlfriend. And he hasn’t said jack to me, despite Chase’s encouragement. He’s at least spilled a few sentences in your direction.” A pointed look of disappointment fell over Blaire’s face.
“Yeah,” Jackson said. “I still don’t know what’s going on with him or anything about the changes he’s made. I haven’t seen him sober for years, though, so maybe he doesn’t know what to say or how to say it.” He shrugged, but an uneasy feeling pinched at his insides.
“Could be. Chase seems nice,” Blaire said, rising to stand. “At least she talked to us.” She shook the pan upside down.
Jackson pushed to stand. “She does seem like she’s got her head on straight, and if she’s the one who gets him to stay sober, more power to her. But still…people who use know how to use others. Trust me. I’ve been the poster child for giving too much to the addict. So, I can’t let my guard down.”
“Yes, I know. Time will tell.” Holding the aluminum pan by its handle, Blaire placed her other hand on her hips and gazed out at the lake. “It is so quiet out here. There’s quiet, and then there’s quiet. This is the kind of silence that speaks to one’s soul.”
Jackson placed the bowls next to the backpacks which rested near the campfire. “I agree.” He turned his head to regard the forest. “I wish it wasn’t so dry, though. We’ve had too many years of drought in this area. Global warming sucks.”
“What are you talking about?” she said smirking. “There’s no such thing as global warming.”
She headed back to the dinner prep area.
“Oh, right. I forgot. What was I thinking?” As he sauntered toward the campsite, a breeze stirred his hair. “Maybe this wind will chase some rainclouds our way.”
“But not tonight,” she said, striding beside him.
“No, not tonight, beautiful,” he said, smiling warmly at her. “Where’d you pack the camp towels?”
“They’re in my pack, at the bottom,” she said, setting the pan back on the propane stove. It made a metallic clang.
After rummaging around in her backpack, he retrieved one of the lightweight, microfiber towels. While drying off the plates, he said, “Are you okay with the big chat Jake wants to have? I just want to get it over with, if you don’t mind.”
“As long as you’re not late for dessert number two,” she said, picking up a Tupperware container from the blanket they’d spread to eat dinner over. She pried it open and retrieved a brownie, loaded with nuts.
Jackson’s mouth watered. “That’s only dessert number one, right?”
As she sashayed toward him, he held out his hand.
She placed the brownie in his palm. “This might be delicious, but it’s small and moist. What did I say I was looking forward to?”
He took a huge bite of the brownie and savored the decadent flavors in his mouth.
“One sec,” he said, through a mouthful, holding up his index finger. The rest of the baked treat found its way into his mouth.
“I’m waiting,” she said, placing her hands on her slender hips.
Delighted arousal filled his gaze as he regarded her soft hair, gorgeous face, and shapely legs.
“I’m preparing my answer,” he said, still chewing.
“Oh?” One eyebrow arched on her face.
He swallowed the last of the brownie and said, “Yes. Come here, and I’ll show you what it is.” Reaching for her, he pulled her close. Rocking his hips, he pressed his rising erection against her. “This is dessert number two.”
She wrapped her arms around him, her warmth spiking his need.
“Mm-hmm,” she said, brushing her hips side to side against his hard heat. “That is definitely what I have in mind for dessert number two.”
“Requires no baking, just the heat of our passion,” he murmured against her hair. He squeezed her tightly. “God, I love you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes.”
“I know. Me, too,” she whispered.
He eased back and studied her for a moment, his heart exploding with love. “But it hurts in a good way. Not the way it was a couple weeks ago.”
“I know,” she said again. “This kind hurts good.”
The tenderness in her violet eyes stirred his libido to a four-alarm conflagration.
He lowered his mouth to hers and gave her a long, slow, deep kiss.
“Ahem,” his brother said, tromping toward them.
Jackson reluctantly released the lip lock he had on Blaire. Kissing her had to be one of his all-time favorite pastimes, especially now that they’d healed the rift.
She looked so pretty and flushed, he wanted to abandon any ideas he had about a brother bond.
She cast her gaze down and stepped away from him.
“You know where to find me,” she whispered.
Jackson swallowed back his arousal and nodded. Then, he turned toward his brother. “Hey, Jake. Where’s Chase?”
“She’s in our tent. Sorry to interrupt,” Jake said.
“Not a problem. I know you want to share with me. Let’s spend some time before we catch some shut-eye.” Jackson hoped his smile conveyed ease since his insides were already starting to churn with distrust.
Jake shifted side to side, wariness evident in his eyes. He clutched a red wool cap. “Sure. That’s why I’m here. I want to talk to you.”
“Okay,” Jackson said slowly. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Stuff,” said Jake. Directing his attention to Blaire, he said, “Chase said if you feel like chatting, she’s game. She’s in our tent. She, uh…she likes you.”
Blaire’s eyebrows lifted. “Well, that’s nice. I like her, too. Does she drink beer?”
Jake looked almost apologetic. He shook his head. “No. Neither of us does. I’m in NA and AA…with her.”
Jackson’s brow furrowed. So, you are in a program…I wonder why the secrecy?
“That’s great, Jake. Good to hear. How about soda?” Blaire said.
He bunched his hat in his hands. “Chase likes soda.”
“Two non-alcoholic beverages coming up,” Blaire said. She made her way to the edge of the cool lake and plucked a couple of colas from the water. When she returned, she pressed a cold can against Jackson’s cheek. “That means you get all the beer tonight, sport.”
“As long as I get to have you as a chaser,” he said, pushing her hand away and leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek.
She gave him a saucy smile, and pivoted to head away.
Jackson turned to his brother and said, “Want a lake-chilled soda? Remember how we used to tie strings around bottles of beer we stole from campers and lower them into Half Moon Lake to hide them?”
Jake snorted and smiled. “Yeah, so we could wait for dark to drink them. We were each underage. What were you? Thirteen?”
“Probably. We were pretty stupid back then.”
“And then you became the town hero, and I became the derelict.” A shadowed expression fell over Jake’s face.
Jackson refused to acknowledge the dig.
Jake strode toward the water and stooped to retrieve a soda.
“I assume you want a beer?” he said, already reaching for one of the cans of pale ale. He strode back to where Jackson stood and handed it to him.
“Yes, indeed,” Jackson said, reaching for the proffered ale. “Let’s head over to those two stones at the water’s edge. They’re both pretty flat and seat worthy.”
Jake nodded and followed him toward the rocks.
Jackson settled on one of the seat-sized boulders and popped open the ale.
A loon let out a mournful cry from across the lake.
“I love that sound,” he said, and then took a pull from his brew.
“Yeah,” Jake said, scowling. “You do.” He pulled the top from his can of cola and took a swig.
Jackson’s stomach tightened at his brother’s mood. It seemed like he was begging for a fight. “Chase seems nice. How did you meet her?”
Jake gave him a side-eyed glare and took another swallow of soda. “She’s better than nice. She’s amazing.”
“Okay, she’s amazing.” Jackson tipped his head back and took several glugs of beer.
This is going to be harder than I thought.
Jake’s mouth twisted into a sour expression and he stared at the lake. “I had help getting clean, you know.”
Jackson chewed the inside of his lip. “You know, I wondered. It must be hard getting free from the clutches of addiction.”
“Not that you’d know anything about that,” Jake said. “You can control your urges. While I’m forced to drink sickly sweet baby drinks.” He flipped the can upside down and emptied it. “I hate this shit.”
Jackson ground his molars together. “Fuck, Jake. Why do you have to be an asshole?”
Jake’s gaze slid toward his campsite several yards up the edge of the lake. “I’m sorry.” He crushed the can. “It’s just that it’s not easy, you know? Getting clean, I mean.”
“I’m sure it’s not. I may not know anything about it personally, but I’ve sure seen the struggles in the field.”
“When you don your superhero medic cape, am I right?”
“Damn it, Jake, would you shut the fuck up about me as a superhero? You’re starting to piss me off.” He tipped his head back and drained his beer. “I’m getting another. You want anything else? Water?”
Jake shook his head. “No, thanks.” He fiddled with the crushed cola can. “Sorry, I’m acting like a prick.”
“Feel free to stop,” Jackson said, pushing to his feet.
He strode back toward the small pool and fished out another ale. He removed the pull tab and dropped it in his shirt pocket. Before taking a drink, he took a couple of deep, calming breaths. Feeling somewhat less reactive, he strode back toward Jake. After settling down on the stone, he chose to stay silent.
Night blanketed the forest and the mountains, as he sat nursing his beer. I wish I hadn’t pursued this stupid idea to join him in the mountains. I’d have enjoyed Blaire so much more without him. If he doesn’t say anything by the time I’ve finished this beer, I’m heading to my tent.
Finally, Jake said, “Chase wasn’t the only one who helped me get clean.”
“No?” Jackson said, glancing at him.
A crashing sound came from the woods.
Jackson tensed, his whole body becoming rigid.
A distinct shriek came from the direction of Jake and Chase’s tent.
“Jackson!” Blaire cried.
Jackson jerked his head around to look, barely able to make out the shapes of two deer.
They daintily inched toward the lake, staying a good distance away from the campsite
“It’s two deer, babe,” Jackson called. “Nothing to worry about.” He pivoted around to face Jake. “Who else helped you, then?”
Jake gave him a squinty-eyed stare. “That’s kind of dramatic. Everything okay with her?”
“Everything’s fine,” Jackson said. “Who else helped you get clean?” he repeated.
Jake hesitated before answering. “It was Dad. And before you say anything, he’s sober now. He’s back in my life. He’s staying at the trailer, and he wants to make amends with you, too.”
Jackson’s gut burned with rage. “So, you’ve made peace with our fuckwit of a father, huh? He just waltzed back, said he’s moving in with you, you hugged and kissed and all was forgiven.”
“He’s really changed, Jackson.” Jake’s voice rose to a desperate pitch. “He’s different. He’s the one who introduced me to Chase at an NA meeting. I owe him.”
“Owe him? You think you owe him? It would take lifetimes for him to pay us back for all the hardship he caused us.” Jackson shook his head, wondering if his brains would rattle free. “Have you forgotten he left us when you were only fourteen? Shuffled off to Buffalo or Timbuktu or Bumfuck, Idaho with his floozy of the hour and never came back or helped pay for anything? Have you forgotten that, huh?”
Jackson pounded on his empty can with his fist, smashing it. Pain shot through the side of his hand, but it didn’t come close to matching the pain in his heart still burning from his parents’ failures. “You don’t leave a couple of young kids to live on their own in a stupid, shithole trailer park. Two kids should not have to figure out how to pay rent or put food on the table and hide from CPS.” He shoved to his feet and paced in a tight circle. “I can’t fucking believe you let him back into your life.”
Jake scrambled to stand. “He’s changed, Jackson, he really has. He’s in a program now. We go together. Him, me, and Chase. It’s nice.”
Jackson eyed the can he’d just crushed, wanting to hurl it across the lake. “Nice,” he said, through gritted teeth. “Nice would be you and me calmly discussing your road to recovery or hearing about your plans with Chase. Nice is not hearing about our sperm donor asshat of a father.”
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Jake yelled.
“Yeah? Well, you’re a naive idiot if you think Dad has changed,” Jackson shouted. “He’s only using you, Jake, don’t you see? People like him can never change.”
“People like him,” Jake sputtered. He shoved Jackson’s chest. “Why don’t you just say it? Losers like us, isn’t that what you mean?”
Jackson’s hands balled into fists. He took several more deep inhales to keep from hammering his brother to a pulp with his fists.
“Look,” he said. “I’m happy for you and the changes you’re making. I’m happy you found someone to love. But when it comes to Dad, keep me out of it. Keep him the fuck away from Blaire and me, got it?”
Jake’s nostrils flared. “Keep him away from you and your perfect life…”
“Jake, honey? Is everything all right?” Chase yelled from somewhere in the dark. A lantern flicked on next to her illuminating her standing next to her tent.
“No, everything isn’t okay. My brother is a dickhead,” Jake called back. His voice cracked like he was on the edge of tears.
“Why don’t you come here and cool off?” Chase said. “We can sort things in the morning, okay? It sounds like things are heated between you and your bro. You can work it out in the daylight, okay?”
“Okay,” he said, in a strangled voice. He turned to Jackson. “I’m trying, bro. I’m really trying.”
“I know you are,” Jackson said, feeling like a royal ass. “I know you are.”
Jake wiped his face with his sleeve and sniffled as he stumbled toward his tent.
“We’ll work this out,” Jackson called, without much enthusiasm.
After Jake had left, and the silence engulfed him, soft footsteps approached from his left.
“Hey, baby,” Blaire said, slipping her arm around his waist. She held a flashlight in her free hand. “That didn’t sound like it went well.”
“Nope,” he said through tight lips. He put his arm around her shoulders and held her stiffly, still simmering.
“What happened?”
“Dad’s back,” he said simply.
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Nope,” he said.
She huffed out a sigh. “Want to tell me more?”
He shook his head. “Maybe the only way to deal with this is to put up strong boundaries with Jake and definitely with Dad. I can’t let him into my life.”
Blaire shook her head. “Your brother makes me so mad. Your idea about boundaries might be for the best.”
A branch cracked in the woods.
Blaire jerked and yelped.
Then, two more cracks sounded.
Blaire peered past Jackson. Her tense posture relaxed when two more deer emerged from the woods. “Shit. I’m sorry,” she said. “I can’t stop thinking about Karlos.” She squeezed Jackson tight. “It was a bad idea to go camping, wasn’t it?” Blaire said.
“I thought it was a good idea. But now I wonder if you’re right. My fucking brother is nothing but misery, you can’t stop looking over your shoulder—somehow, we’ve got to find our way out of all this shit.” But his intuition kept poking at him, telling him that things might be about to get worse.