I didn’t set out to write a book so threaded with the subject of grief. In fact, when I realised where the story was taking me, I tried to change course. But, like grief, stories can sometimes have their own momentum and we are powerless to stop them.
Once I’d accepted where the story was headed, I stopped writing and did some research. I read a handful of books about grief because I wanted to understand the process better. What I learned is that people experience grief in myriad ways and that it swells and wanes according to its own timetable. It rarely resolves quickly and without some work on the part of the grieving person. Grief can take months or years to work through. Sometimes people never get over the death of someone close to them.
If the content of this book has raised issues for you, I hope you’ll pull someone aside and talk to them about it. It doesn’t have to be a counsellor—it can be a family member or a trusted friend. You can always call Lifeline on 13 11 14 (Australia) or 0800 54 33 54 (New Zealand). If you think someone in your life is struggling—a friend, a work colleague, a classmate, someone in your book group—please reach out to them.
At the time of writing this book, Beyond Blue had a series of videos on its website (www.beyondblue.org.au) for people feeling suicidal, worried about someone else being suicidal, who have attempted suicide or who are grieving a suicide death. I found these especially helpful in my research. Maybe you or someone you know will too.