People born today adore feasts and fun. In the summer, just the word ‘picnic’ cheers them up. Like Ratty, there's only one thing they like better than rowing their boat to a place where the wind drifts through the willowy tendrilled river bank and that's planning their picnic basket. October 26 always takes too much. There will be a pork pie with an egg running through it. Several packs of Scotch eggs. Cold chicken legs. Sausages. A cold bacon and egg quiche. One chocolate cake, one fruit cake and some strawberry tarts. Cream optional. Fairy cakes with yellow and pink icing. Doughnuts squidging with jam. Plain and milk chocolate for nibbling at. Nectarines, peaches, bananas. Packets of crisps. And Penguin biscuits.
No amount of rowing will burn off all these calories and sometimes October 26 gets so fat the boat just sinks under him. Which means, we're afraid, a lifetime of dieting. At which this person is, frankly, not good. The first thing to do is get the weight parameters right. Ignore tables which show people of 5ft 9ins should weigh SlA stone. Get the goal weight into proportion. Ms Snacky Eater should remember that the majority of women in this country are size 16 plus which may not be a comfort when you look at some of them.
Both sexes should avoid those plump people white lies. Tm big-boned.' ’I hardly eat anything.' ‘These trousers shrunk at the cleaners.' ‘I'm normally a size 12 (the girls)/32ins waist (the boys) but this shop makes them very small.'
New research shows that to be slightly overweight is not really a health problem and you can have just as much fun plump as you can skinny. If weight is going to be a lifelong battle for October 26, let the battle be confined to one psycheological area only, leaving the rest of your time free for other more interesting things.
Outside every thin girl there is a fat man trying to get in.
(Katherine Whitehorn)
BODY
Try a regular detox two or three times a year, setting aside a weekend when there aren't regular demands on your time and energy. Day 1, eat only fresh fruity vegetables and salads and drink only water and fresh juice. Day 2, water and juice only. Day 3, go back on solid fruit and veg, but nothing else. Day 4, introduce some brown rice and thereafter gradually put yourself back on to your normal diet. At first it may be hard, but persevere and you 11 reap the benefit of increased energy, improved immunity to illness and a very happy digestive system.
MIND
If you have trouble remembering the colours of the spectrum: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet, try this famous mnemonic: Richard Of York Gains Battles In Vain. Daft, but it works.
DATESHARE
Bob Hoskins, British actor famous for telephone commercials. Hillary Clinton, US first lady. George-Jacques Danton, French Revolution leader, guillotined. Mahalia Jackson, gospel singer. Jaclyn Smith, TV actress, Charlie's Angels. François Mitterand, French president. Jackie Coogan, child actor. Domenico Scarlatti, Italian composer.