SEAN STOOD IN the garage talking with the director about the day’s shooting schedule. They’d start with Tori this morning, then move on to Rob and Emily and finally Evan later in the day. He would’ve looked forward to meeting Evan, but now that he was planning to leave the Archers behind, he almost wished he could avoid it. Moving on would be much easier without meeting and liking one more member of this family. And since Evan and Tori were close, he expected to like Evan quite a bit. Hell, he liked them all.
Dale came into the garage muttering under his breath. He didn’t look pleased. “There you are,” he said to Sean and Peter.
“What do you need?” Peter asked.
“You need to start with another pass at Sara. I want more on her sensory processing thing and more on Alex.” He put his hands on his hips and stared at both of them. “Is it too much to ask for a few tears? Their brother committed suicide, for Christ’s sake. I want emotion! I want to feel the sadness! I want blubbering viewers!”
“I thought you might want another shot,” Peter said with a touch of resignation. “I’m on it.” He took off, likely in search of the cameraman.
Sean resisted the urge to punch Dale in the face. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he plunged the family back into a pit of despair. “They’ve spent a lot of time working through their grief, and you want to open that all back up again. You’re a real nice guy, Dale.”
“I’m a television producer, Sean. Which is more than I can say for you if you can’t get these people to let it all hang out. You want to keep your job, don’t you?”
“Maybe I really don’t.” Anxiety raced up his spine, but he quelled the sensation.
“I haven’t let Hollis go yet. I’m sure she’d be happy to take your place on this. Then your wife’s family won’t have anyone here who’s on their side.”
The douche bag had just admitted he didn’t give a shagging shit about the Archers. Sean couldn’t leave them to his mercy. He narrowed his eyes at Dale, wishing he could tell him to go fuck himself. “I’ll figure it out.” He turned on his heel and stalked upstairs to the apartment. Once inside, he went to his laptop at the table and sat down to adjust the schedule to allow for reshoots with Sara and Kyle. He’d have to see when Kyle was available.
Feeling hot and frustrated, he opened the window to let in the unseasonably warm air as he worked. Gradually, he cooled down and convinced himself he could make this work. At the end of the day, Dale wasn’t going to be able to force them to do anything. Sean would do his best to get something that was close enough to at least pacify him. He expected to lose his job when all was said and done, but at least he wouldn’t leave the Archers entirely to Dale’s devices.
Voices from the garage below carried up to him.
“What did you get?” That was Dale’s voice.
“Not much.” That was one of the production assistants—a young, squirrely guy named Brady. “We found some pictures but not much else. There wasn’t a laptop, so finding anything about the gal who sold him the drugs is a total bust.”
“Well, we’ll just have to get Kyle to talk about this Natalie person. How are we with getting an interview with her?” Dale asked.
“Still working some angles with the prison system, but it’s not looking good.”
“Damn,” Dale said, sounding disappointed. “That was going to be pretty sweet.”
Sean felt sick. Natalie Frobish was the former Archer employee who’d sold Alex the drugs he’d overdosed on. She’d agreed to a plea deal and was currently serving a ninety-day sentence, since it had been her first offense. Putting her in the show was just about the most offensive thing Sean could think of. He was only glad it sounded like it wasn’t going to work out. That wouldn’t stop Dale from including the information or grilling Kyle, who’d uncovered her involvement, about it.
Sean clenched his fists on the table and strained to hear more.
“What about the office?”
“I got interrupted,” Brady said. “It was a close call. I did get into the computer there, though. Should be easy enough to comb through the e-mails and mine some good stuff, particularly between the mom and dad. They’ve been going through a rough patch, but it seems like they’re working through it.”
“Too bad,” Dale said. “Strife is so much better for ratings.”
The son of a bitch. Sean’s fingers itched to wrap themselves around Dale’s throat. They’d been going through Rob’s e-mails? And planned to do it again? The hell they were.
He stood up so forcefully, he nearly overturned the chair. With long steps, he made his way downstairs from the apartment and into the garage.
Dale and Brody turned to look at him as he approached. “Ready?” Dale asked.
“Ready to kick your ass, yeah. But I won’t. You need all of your arms and legs working so you can pack everything up and get out of here.” Sean allowed his lip to curl with derision.
Dale had the gall to look amused. “Is that right? How about you go first. I’m done with your pissing and moaning. You’re fired.”
“Brilliant.” Sean moved toward his former boss, the wrath of righteousness warming him from deep within. “But you’re leaving, too. I heard everything you said. Snooping through their house, going through Rob Archer’s e-mails—that’s illegal and sure as hell isn’t in their contracts. I can either tell them what you’ve done and call the police to come fingerprint Rob’s office and Alex’s room to prove it, or you can politely tell them the show just isn’t going the way you wanted. They’ll be relieved, and you won’t be prosecuted or embarrassed.”
“You’ll still be fired.”
“I can live with that.” Even if his guts were churning with uncertainty. He knew he was doing the right thing, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to have a challenging road ahead of him.
“You’re not going to find it easy to land another job.”
“I get that. But I like to think the universe likes me more than you.”
Brady turned his alarmed expression to Dale. “I don’t want to get arrested.”
“I’m guessing Brady here will flip on you faster than a short-order cook. Better cut and run.”
Dale’s lips twisted as he seemed to finally understand his goose was cooked. “You really aren’t going to work again, you know that?”
“We’ll see.” Sean looked at the kid and said, “Brady, go on and start packing. Dale, you have a meeting with the family.”
“I suppose you want to join me?”
No, Sean wanted to get as far away from Ribbon Ridge as possible. With every tie now severed, he could put Tori behind him—as soon as he filed for divorce. He shook his head at Dale. “As it turns out, the wife and I are splitting up, so I’ll let you face the wolves alone. Hope they rip you to shreds.”
He strode back up to the apartment and texted Kyle.
Sean: Come home ASAP. Show’s off. Need you to make sure the crew leaves.
Kyle: WTF dude? Everything okay?
Sean: Brilliant. See you later. In another life, maybe.
Next, he texted Tori. He took a deep breath before typing. Keep Dale and the others out of Alex’s room and your dad’s office. They’re going to be leaving—the project’s been canceled. I’m sorry to have put all of you through this. I wish you all the best.
It was a few minutes before he got a response: Hang on. Dale talking. I don’t understand.
He spoke to the empty room. “It’s okay. You don’t need to understand. Just accept it and move on. I am.”
Picking up his bags, he gave the apartment a final look. He would always remember the time he’d spent with the Archers as among the best in his life. But now it was time to return to reality. To his own family. And figure out what in the bloody hell came next.
TORI BLINKED AT Dale. “You spend the morning telling us you want more and threatening Sean’s job, and now the show is just off?” She exchanged glances with Sara and Chloe, who were also in the living room.
A couple members of the crew worked to dismantle the lighting they’d set up.
“I have to come clean.” He wrung his hands together. “Sean and I were doing a good-cop, bad-cop sort of scenario. And I just couldn’t do it anymore. I thought he was doing the right thing, getting a beautiful, complex show with great emotional connection, but now I can see how upsetting it might be to all of you.”
“Wait.” Sara shook her head. “You expect us to believe that Sean was behind all the garbage you wanted to get on film?”
“I’m afraid so. I just can’t support the direction he wanted to take.”
“I’m calling bullshit,” Tori said, not believing Dale’s story for a moment. “Where’s Sean?”
“He left.”
Tori’s gut clenched. “Left the premises, or left your employment?”
“Both. I had to let him go, of course. Believe what you like, but he really didn’t have your best interests at heart.”
Chloe rolled her eyes. “Unlike you, I suppose.”
Tori advanced on the troll. “I don’t believe you for a second. Furthermore, if you do anything to prevent Sean from getting another job, if you slander him in any way, we’ll slap you with a defamation lawsuit so fast your head will explode.”
“That sounds pretty cool, actually,” Sara said. “Maybe we should hope for that outcome.”
“You’re a cutthroat family,” Dale said, doing his best sad-sack imitation. “Good luck with that lawsuit. Slander like the kind you’re talking about is awfully hard to prove. But I wish you all the best.”
He turned and walked out, leaving his crew to finish cleaning up.
Tori pulled her phone back out of her pocket, where she’d stashed it after getting Sean’s text and quickly tapping out a reply. He’d also wished them all the best, but she was pretty sure he actually meant it.
“What a dick,” Sara said.
Chloe smiled at them both. “I’m glad that’s over. And that was kind of fun. Tori, what’s wrong?”
“Hold on.” Tori dialed Sean and held the phone to her ear. She paced to the windows as it rang, but it just went to voicemail. She tried again. And again. He wasn’t going to answer her call.
“Damn it!” She resisted the urge to throw her phone through the window.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Kyle strode into the living room, looking a bit winded. He eyed the crew members carting the equipment out.
Tori turned and looked at the three of them. “Can one of you go lock Dad’s office and, I don’t know, stand guard at Alex’s door until these yahoos leave?”
“Why?” Kyle asked.
“I don’t know. Sean asked me to make sure they didn’t gain access to either of those rooms.”
“He texted me to come home and make sure the crew leaves.” Kyle looked between the three of them. “You have no idea what’s going on?”
“Dale gave us some BS story about not agreeing with Sean’s direction for the show,” Chloe said. “All we really know is that the show is off and Sean’s gone.”
“Gone?”
Tori felt like she was going to explode. “What about the rooms? Sean wanted you to guard the rooms!” She sounded a bit crazed, but for some reason he had thought that was important enough to tell her. More important than saying good-bye or I love you or anything else that might have given her hope.
It started in her shoulders and worked its way down to her chest, her body quivering as the emotion crested. It spiked up her throat and burned her eyes as tears began to fall. She wanted to hold it in, to hide it from everyone like she’d taught herself to do since Alex died but she just couldn’t. Not anymore.
“Oh, Tori.” Sara put her arms around her and held her tight. “Sean didn’t just leave the show or his job or whatever, did he? He left you.”
Tori nodded, unable to speak.
“I think I might kick his ass,” Kyle said, moving closer.
Tori sucked in a breath and wiped at her face. “Don’t.”
“It’s okay to let it out,” Sara said softly, holding her close.
Tori did just that. She laid her head on Sara’s shoulder and cried, uncaring how she looked or sounded. When she finally lifted her head to wipe her eyes, she saw that everyone else was there now too—Mom, Dad, Derek, Maggie.
“What happened?” Mom asked, looking pale as she made her way to Tori.
“Sean asked for a divorce,” Tori said, sniffling. “And before you all defend him—well, except maybe Kyle, who’s already offered to kick his ass—it’s my fault. I pushed him away for so long. He finally got smart.” She smiled sadly, wiping her cheeks dry but feeling as though the waterworks could start again at any moment.
Dad came over and waved everyone away so he could take Tori’s hand. “Don’t beat yourself up. I understand. I did the same thing after Alex died. I pushed you all away.” He gave Mom a loving look and added, “Especially you.” He turned back to Tori and touched her face. “It’s better to feel the pain than to feel nothing at all. Trust me, I know.”
Tears threatened again. Tori nodded, not trusting herself to speak. This hurt like crazy, but it was better than feeling nothing. She loved Sean, and now she knew that love was worth any compromise, any sacrifice.
“What the hell is going on here?” Evan’s voice boomed through the room. He always had trouble modulating his tone, but in some cases it was for the best. And in this case, it was quite effective, as Tori was ecstatic to see him.
“Not much, I’m just having a total emotional breakdown.”
“So I can see.” He frowned as he came into the room, passing a crew member carrying the last of the equipment out. “What’s going on with all that?”
“Show’s off,” Kyle said. “Consider yourself lucky to have missed it. The producer was the world’s biggest asshole.”
Evan’s brow creased with confusion. “Isn’t that Tori’s husband?”
“Different producer, his boss. Never mind, we’ll explain later. Let Tori have her breakdown—she needs to get it all out,” Sara said, patting Tori’s back.
Evan came toward her, and Dad moved aside. “I’m sorry, sis. I didn’t realize things were so bad. I guess I should come home more often.”
“None of us realized,” Kyle said. “We suck.”
“No, I was just really good at hiding it.”
“Still, we’re family,” Derek said, standing next to Chloe, his arm around her shoulders. “We need to do a better job of watching out for each other and calling each other out on our shit. I knew you were struggling, but I also knew you didn’t want to talk about it. Next time I’ll make you.”
“Thanks.” Tori managed to summon a smile despite the headache bursting against her temples as a result of crying so ridiculously. “Now, will you please take care of Dad’s office and Alex’s bedroom?”
“Right.” Kyle waved the others over. “Let me explain.”
Evan didn’t move, however. “Tor, can I talk to you?” At her nod, he took her into the kitchen. “I brought you something.” He pulled a folded envelope from his back pocket and laid it on the counter next to the brew tap.
Alex’s handwriting jolted her. “Is this my letter?”
Evan nodded. “Sara called me earlier when I was on my way down. She said you were having a tough time and that she wished Aubrey would just give you the damn letter. So I stopped and got it for you.”
“She just gave it to you?” Tori blinked at him, wondering why Aubrey had given it to him when she’d refused to give it to Tori until Alex’s predetermined time. “Or is this when I was supposed to get it?”
“No, she said that Alex wanted you to have it on the one-year anniversary of his death. But I told her if she didn’t give it to you, I was going to turn her office upside down until I found it.”
“She believed you?” Evan had a temper, but he wasn’t a violent person. He was huge—the tallest kid in the family—but he was a giant teddy bear once you got to know him, though few people did.
He shrugged. “Apparently. I got the sense she doesn’t like having to dole these things out. But then again, I’m not so great at reading people.”
“You’re better than you think.” She looked at the letter, afraid to open it. “I almost don’t want to read it. What if he wrote it after . . . after that phone call?” She’d talked to Evan on her drive up to the mountain last Sunday and told him what she’d told everyone else at their stupid intervention. Stupid? Not really. In retrospect, it had been exactly what she’d needed.
“So what if he did?” Evan picked up the letter. “Want me to open it? I’ll read it first if you want me to.”
“No, that’s okay.” She took it from him, her fingers trembling. Didn’t she want to know why he’d called? Hadn’t it haunted her for months?
She tore open the envelope and withdrew the paper. Hand-written. Single-sided.
Dear Tori,
I know you’re probably pissed at me about this letter. You never liked having to wait for things, which is why I asked Aubrey to hold onto this for one year. I think the perspective will be good for you, and I hope you’ll agree.
I’m sorry I left you like I did. I know you were upset, probably for a long time, and I can’t tell you how much I agonized over that. It was especially hard because we’ve grown particularly close the last several weeks, haven’t we? (I forget you’ll be reading this in a year, but for me, this is recent history.) I’m so glad you told me about Sean—it’s a secret I’m taking with me to the grave. And the secret isn’t him, it’s your capacity for love and tenderness. You’d have us all believe you’re a driven career woman who’s going to take over the world. I’m sure you will, but it’s not the sum of your parts. Sean brings something out in you. I have no idea if he’s The One, but I hope so.
That answered the question about when he’d written it—before he’d learned about her marriage.
I’ve never seen you so carefree and happy. One of my deepest regrets is that I won’t get to see how it turns out. I suppose things have changed a lot in the past year. Maybe Sean is out of the picture. Maybe you’ve moved back to Ribbon Ridge. Hell, maybe you married someone else and have a kid on the way. I love that there are so many ways your story can be told, and I hope you realize that, too. Planning for the life you want doesn’t mean the life you need won’t come up and bite you in the ass. I hope and pray it does.
Thank you for your amazing heart and always treating me like I was just a regular brother, instead of a mess. I know you’ve made something beautiful and lasting with the property, something that would make me so proud. But I’m proud of you anyway. You’re going to go to the moon, Tori, and I hope you won’t do it alone.
All my love,
Alex
The tears had started again, but these were tinged with joy as well as sadness. “Here, you can read it, if you want.” She handed Evan the letter.
He quickly scanned through it, as his reading speed was somewhere between sound and light.
“That’s it?” he asked.
“You were expecting something about the phone call.”
“Weren’t you?”
She nodded. “Maybe not expecting, but hoping.”
“And yet you don’t seem upset. Unless I’m not reading you right either at the moment.”
“You’re reading me fine.” She smiled. “I’m okay with it. I think I started to accept that I wasn’t ever going to get the closure I wanted when I started opening back up to Sean. Closure isn’t something you get. And I don’t want it. I don’t want to close the door on Alex. He’s always going to be here.” She pointed to her head. “And here.” She put her hand over her heart.
“True.”
“Where is Sean?” Evan asked.
She closed her eyes briefly and pressed her hand to her forehead. “Oh God.” She looked up at Evan, no longer bothering to mask the emotion she felt. “He’s gone. I have to go find him.”