SIR – Almost 50 years ago my father was seated next to the Duke of Edinburgh at a luncheon. Making small talk, His Royal Highness asked my father where he lived.
“Windsor, Sir,” said my father, “but we are shortly moving to Hampshire to get away from the aircraft noise.”
“You are very fortunate,” said the Duke. “Sadly, we can’t.”
Easebourne, West Sussex
SIR – My favourite recollection of the Duke of Edinburgh was after lunch in the Officers’ Mess with senior staff at RAF High Wycombe. The mess steward, who was handing out the hats at the door, gave the newest and shiniest, not unnaturally, to HRH.
A recently promoted Air Commodore was left holding the scruffiest. He was last seen running across the car park shouting: “Sir, I think you have my hat.”
Cheltenham, Gloucestershire
SIR – “Zara Tindall hints at future with Royal Studs”, says your headline.
Does Mike know about this?
Kew, Surrey
SIR – How wonderful to know that our Queen is expecting again! Another record in her long reign!
Yesterday’s Telegraph: “Also in attendance was Zara Tindall, pictured curtseying to her grandmother, who is pregnant with her second child.”
Vale, Guernsey
SIR – Could no one from Help the Aged step forward to prevent a 92-year-old lady being subjected to the two-hour ordeal of the Royal Variety Show?
Thornage, Norfolk
SIR – The new prince, born on St George’s Day, cannot be called George as that name is already taken.
Perhaps they could call him Dragon.
Great Shefford, Berkshire
SIR – What a pleasant surprise to see an immaculate-looking Duchess of Cambridge leaving hospital so early after giving birth. Presumably they needed the bed and the social worker deemed home conditions suitable for discharge?
Budleigh Salterton, Devon
SIR – I understand that in Britain during 2017 not a single boy was given the name Ian. I trust that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will shortly take steps to restore its popularity.
Boxmoor, Hertfordshire
SIR – I am always intrigued by the delay in naming a Royal baby: do you think they have been taken by surprise?
Solihull, West Midlands
SIR – My wife and I are amused by all the articles preparing the Duchess of Cambridge to handle the onset of a “Threenager”, having survived the “Terrible Twos”.
Just to put a perspective on this – and so that Kate doesn’t get too complacent – we are now into the “Frustrating Fifties” and still trying to cope.
Farnborough, Kent
SIR – We were astounded to see a photo of a woman called Pippa Middleton on the front page of your paper this morning. I am assuming this is Mrs Matthews, who is of absolutely no interest to us, nor to anyone of our acquaintance.
Epping, Essex
SIR – My wife really likes the colourful dresses of the Duchess of Cambridge.
Perhaps you could find out the charity shop to which she sends them when she has finished with them.
Deal, Kent
SIR – Was the Queen offered any protocol advice on how to dress when meeting the important Anna Wintour?
Lawford, Essex
SIR – I already own the M&S jumper which Ms Markle has worn and also have the dress your fashion department is suggesting. As a fast approaching 80-year-old, this has made my day.
Edinburgh
SIR – Knowing how obsessed many of our continental friends are about our Royal Family, perhaps we could offer tickets for the forthcoming Royal Wedding ceremony in return for a preferable trade deal.
Westgate-on-Sea, Kent
SIR – Should I look out for an invitation to the Royal Wedding or will the modern young couple be sending out what seems to have replaced it – an invite?
Bradford-on-Avon, Wiltshire
SIR – There is an easy way to resolve the problem of the Royal Wedding and the Cup Final being held on the same day. Hold the ceremony in Wembley Stadium, on the hallowed turf, at half time.
Harrow, Middlesex
SIR – It is fortuitous that Prince Harry’s fiancée, Meghan Markle, is joining the Royal Family at this time. This means that while the Duchess of Cambridge is on maternity leave, she will have an ideal replacement for her job of going around the country smiling charmingly at people and asking them how they are.
Hildenborough, Kent
SIR – Do we know whether the new Duchess of Sussex has ever been to Sussex?
Worcester
SIR – As the government seems to be encountering some difficulty at the moment, perhaps it should consider taking advice from the Royal Family’s PR people.
Harrogate, North Yorkshire
SIR – As the father of three daughters I can understand why Meghan Markle’s father may be having second thoughts about his involvement in the wedding; he has probably become aware of the tradition that the bride’s father foots the bill.
Horwich, Lancashire
SIR – Meghan’s father sounds just the type to carry on the Royal Family’s tradition of scandal and should fit in well.
West Wick, Somerset
SIR – I see that Meghan is to “fight for feminism”. I would point out that our Head of State is female, our Prime Minister is female, the Head of the Metropolitan Police is female, the Head of the London Fire Brigade is female and the Bishop of London is female.
What chance has a chap got?
Little Shelford, Cambridgeshire
SIR – When my wife and I were married almost 65 years ago, my bride decided after the formal speeches that she, like Meghan Markle, would like to offer a few words of thanks. As she tried to stand, however, she was impeded by the voluminous skirt of her bridal gown. Being the attentive new husband I moved her chair back a little.
Having had her slightly flustered say, my newly gained wife sat down hurriedly – on the floor. I had moved the chair too far back.
Fortunately only her pride was hurt. As for me, it was simply the first occasion of getting it wrong.
Chelmsford, Essex
SIR – As I left for the shop my wife Tanya said, “I bet half the country is watching the wedding.”
Having got to the supermarket, I discovered where the other half were.
Gorleston, Norfolk
SIR – For those of your readers who, somehow, missed the fact during the BBC television coverage of Harry and Meghan’s wedding, I can confirm that David and Victoria Beckham were indeed there.
Stanway, Essex
SIR – While I was attempting to pre-record the Royal Wedding, the caption asked: “record once or the series”?
Are we to expect more than the one marriage for either or both in the future?
Saham Hills, Norfolk
SIR – Eat your heart out, Donald Trump – now that was a real mammoth crowd, especially when compared with the vast areas of empty space at the President’s inauguration.
London W1
SIR – I wonder if the Most Revd Michael Curry should be told the three golden rules of public speaking: be sincere; be brief; be seated.
Blackpool
SIR – Although I wish Harry and Meghan every happiness in their marriage I was relieved that I was not invited to their wedding. I wonder how many reception guests suffer from indigestion if they eat while standing up.
Dorchester, Dorset
SIR – Oh, it’s bowl food they will be having: and there was me thinking it was bowel food. Still, I suppose it comes to the same thing.
Stonehaven, Aberdeenshire
SIR – In the Order of Service for that wedding, and in many others across the country year after year, we read that: “The organ will play …”
What a clever organ!
Fairburn, North Yorkshire
SIR – Prince Harry has confirmed the old maxim that a man who opens a car door for his wife either has a new car or a new wife.
Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire
SIR – No more Royal Wedding. Life returns to empty and meaningless normality.
London NW3
SIR – I am thrilled for Prince Charles at his appointment to be the next head of the Commonwealth.
I must admit to being a little disappointed that the post was not advertised; I think I would have made a reasonable candidate, and can be available at short notice for formal dinners and foreign travel.
Haywards Heath, West Sussex
SIR – I suppose your reference to “Nuckingham Palace” in today’s paper is better than the alternative typo.
Wetheral, Cumbria