I opened my eyes and let out a sigh. At some point, we have to turn back into ourselves, right? I mean, we can’t stay like this forever. Whatever it is out there that made us like this wouldn’t make us stay like this forever. I have dreams, and most of those dreams don’t center on me being a girl.
I woke up a little early today so that I’d have extra time to do my…well, Nicole’s…ugh, my hair. I feel like I’m having an identity crisis. I mean, it’s Nicole’s hair, but it’s mine right now. If I start calling her things my things, am I going to lose the ability to recognize myself as Jake? It makes me nervous because I want to be comfortable fitting in Nicole’s shoes, but I don’t want to become too comfortable to the point that I don’t see myself anymore. I wouldn’t think that could happen, but after living in her shoes twenty-four hours a day for more than four days now, I am starting to feel more like her than like me.
Maybe I’m just being grouchy. I think I’m coming down with something, because I’m achy and my skin feels sensitive. That’s probably not the right word. Agitated maybe. I don’t know. As I’ve learned what is normal for Nicole’s body, I’m aware that I don’t feel right today. It’s probably nothing.
I trudged out of bed and headed for the closet. Sure enough, I found the clothes that Nicole had organized for me. She had a dress laid out for today, just like she said. Uh-oh. She had some heels going with it. They were very low and wide heels, but they still made me nervous. I figured I would have to wear them at some point, but that didn’t make it any more appealing.
I took off my night shirt and put it into the laundry basket. Next I grabbed the clothes and laid them out on the bed. Nicole had only set out the dress and the shoes, so I needed to find a matching bra and socks. I went to the dresser and found a bra that was similar in color and she had socks that seemed to be a perfect match for the dress. I put the bra and socks on and went over to the makeup table.
Nicole told me I should do the hair first, and then do the makeup so I don’t sweat, so that’s what I did. After I finished the hair, I was glad I had given myself the extra time. I needed every minute of it. When it was done, I felt at least good enough about it that I could leave the house. Next I put on the makeup, which still took me twice as long as Nicole. It came out pretty good, though. I mean, I thought I looked pretty, so it must have been okay, right?
I put on the dress and strapped the heels on, grabbed my things and headed downstairs. Nicole’s mom was in the kitchen already.
“Morning, Nikki. How did you sleep?” she asked.
“I slept okay, I think.”
“Would you like an omelet this morning? Your usual?”
Whatever my usual is. “Uhh…sure, thanks!”
She had come over to give me a kiss as she was asking the questions and she looked down at my feet.
“Sweetheart, you know you can’t wear socks with those shoes, right?”
“Huh?” I said, looking down.
“You should be wearing nylons or nothing with those pumps, but definitely not socks.”
What the heck are pumps? I thought these were heels. “Oh, yeah. I guess I wasn’t thinking. I’ll be right back.”
I walked up the stairs and into Nicole’s room. I took the shoes and socks off and looked through Nicole’s drawers for nylons. They were in the back of the sock drawer. I sat down on the bed and started putting them on until I realized…I didn’t know if the nylons went on over the underwear or if the underwear went on over the nylons.
Okay, the nylons didn’t look finished at the top, but underwear was all cute and finished looking. Yes, I was aware how that sounded. So, it seemed logical that the underwear would go on last, right?
I pulled the underwear off, put the nylons on and put her underwear back on. After putting the shoes back on, I walked back downstairs where Nicole’s mother had breakfast ready.
“Much better,” she said, smiling.
“Thanks,” I said appreciatively. One less thing for Nicole to find I did wrong.
She laid a ham, cheese and green pepper omelet in front of me and I hesitantly started eating it. Omelets aren’t common breakfast in our house, and I’ve never had one with green peppers in it. It was delicious!
“This is really good,” I said.
“Glad you like it. Have a good day at school.” With that, she kissed my forehead and walked out of the room.
I hadn’t finished my omelet when I received a text from Nicole telling me to meet her outside the locker room before school started. She probably wanted to make sure I wore the right clothes today. Who could blame her?
Once I finished my omelet, I took my dishes to the sink, cleaned them and put them in the dishwasher. I grabbed my things, got into Nicole’s car and headed to school. It was nice not having to wait for Mike to pick me up for school each day. I could definitely get used to having a car.
The trip to school seemed short because I was lost in thought. Hopefully today would go more smoothly than the last few days. We have to be getting close to some sort of comfort level, right?
Nicole wasn’t waiting in front of the locker room when I got there, so I decided to go inside and go to the bathroom while I was waiting for her to arrive. Underwear and nylons down…dress up and forward. Man, I’m glad I’m not usually a girl. Just going to the bathroom is an event.
I finished up, washed up and walked back outside, where Nicole was now waiting. She looked at me and though she looked relieved at first, her eyes quickly opened wide with panic. She walked up to me, pulled the back of my dress out of my underwear, and looked around to see if anyone was watching. Nobody was in the area.
Nicole sighed with relief. “You have to be careful not to get your dress ruffle caught in your underwear,” she said quietly, with an effort at patience.
“Sorry. I didn’t realize…”
“That’s okay. So, may I ask why it is that you have your panties on over your nylons?”
There’s a question I never expected to be asked in my lifetime. “Uhh…I thought that’s how they went. I mean, the nylons are unfinished at the top and the underwear, well…is finished. It seemed to make more sense to have the cute underwear on the outside of the nylons.”
“First of all,” she said with a slight laugh, “who did you think was going to be seeing these? Nobody should be seeing under your dress.”
“I didn’t really think that mattered. I mean, that theory doesn’t really stop you from buying cute underwear, does it?”
“Fair enough.”
“So, the second thing?”
“Well, I was going to ask why you were wearing nylons, but at least you didn’t wear socks.” At least not outside of the house.
“For future reference, wearing underwear on the outside of nylons kind of defeats the purpose of the underwear. Some girls just wear nylons without underwear altogether. I wear both, but I wouldn’t have even bothered with nylons for that outfit. So, choose what you want to do and go change before more people arrive.”
“Okay,” I said, turning to go into the locker room.
“Oh, no! I forgot to go over how to do your hair. You,” she said grabbing some of my hair, “did a pretty good job. You have to be careful not to put the flat-iron on it too long, but…pretty good. How did you do it?”
“I remembered your hairstyle you normally wear, and I did lots of research last night.”
“Impressive, but you could have just called and asked me.”
“I wanted to see if I could do it on my own.”
“Well, nice job. Now go. I’ll see you next period.”
“Wait,” I said, turning back to her, “I almost forgot to ask you…what’s the difference between heels and pumps?”
“It kind of depends on who you ask. Generally, pumps have heels, but they don’t have straps. What you are wearing are low-heeled pumps. Are you doing okay with them?”
“I think so. It’s a little awkward, but the heels are wide enough that I’m not having too much trouble.”
“That’s why I chose them for you. You really should get going before people start showing up.”
“Okay, bye.”
I headed into the locker room, found a bathroom stall and changed so that I had the underwear on under the nylons. In hind sight, I should have just changed into my P.E. clothes, since the place was still pretty much empty and I was going to need to change into them in about fifteen minutes anyway. Once I realized this, I headed over to Nicole’s locker and changed into my P.E. clothes. Jessica arrived about ten minutes later.
“Hey, Nikki! How are you doing?”
“Good, Jess. How are you?”
“Peachy! So, we decided to go to the movies last night, after all. Why don’t we go to the mall tonight?”
“Oh, okay.” I guess that means ‘guy shopping.’
“Great! Oh, my dad is having my car serviced. Do you mind picking me up? You can come by around seven tonight. You’ll have enough time to do your homework and eat by then, right?”
“Uhh…sure, that should be fine.” I’m hoping she knows how this works better than I do. They’ve done this before, so Jessica likely knows what time I can pick her up, right?
Jessica changed into her P.E. clothes and we went outside for class. Today was a relatively easy class. We had badminton. Not my favorite, but it didn’t take a lot of energy. A little jumping up and down, which was a little rough because I had a persistent stomachache today, but I barely broke a sweat. I saw Nicole across the field. Her class…well, my class…was playing kickball. I love kickball. Oh well.
We headed back to the locker room and Jessica caught back up with me.
“Badminton. Well, at least we didn’t get all sweaty.”
“Yeah. There are worse games out there.”
“I can’t think of one at the moment,” she said smiling.
“Yeah, actually I can’t either,” I said, returning a laugh.
We undressed and headed to the showers with our towels. The routine was pretty much the same as yesterday. I didn’t enjoy it any less, but some of the fascination had worn off, and it was easier for me to focus on washing up and getting out of there.
I headed back to the locker, dried myself off more completely and got dressed. Once I was finished getting dressed, I said goodbye to Jessica and headed for Nicole’s book locker to get my books for English Lit.
When I arrived in English, Nicole was already there. So was Meredith. Nicole seemed to be in a better mood, so I was guessing P.E. must have gone better. I smiled and took my seat. I said hello to Meredith and she smiled back. This stomachache wasn’t going away, and this one was more painful than I usually have. I’ll have to ask Nicole if she usually gets bad stomachaches.
I had a hard time focusing on English class today. I was uncomfortable all class, and it seemed to just drag on forever. By the time the bell rang, I was packed up and ready to go. I said goodbye to Meredith and waited at my desk for Nicole to walk up.
“Hey, are you alright?” she asked.
“Not really. I’ve had this really bad stomachache all morning. Do you usually get bad stomachaches?”
“No, I almost never get stomachaches, just…”
Her eyes got wide with concern. “Wait, does it feel like a stomachache, or does it feel a little lower in your abdomen? Like, maybe, intestinal issues?”
“I…guess it feels more like intestinal issues, why?”
She looked around to make sure nobody was nearby. Most of the class had cleared out.
“Stand up,” she whispered.
I stood up and noticed that my underwear felt cold, or…wet. “Why do I feel wet?” As I said it, I realized what was happening. I looked down at my seat, where Nicole was looking, and saw blood. Not a lot, but still, it was blood.
“Welcome to womanhood. You’re having your first period, Jake.” Again, she said it with a whisper. “You have wipes in your purse.”
I cleaned the seat up and wadded the wipes up in my hand. “You couldn’t have warned me this was coming?” I asked.
“I’m really sorry. With everything going on, I hadn’t really thought about it. I mean, I can usually tell when it’s getting close, and usually I’m prepared, but I’ve been kind of caught up with…being a guy.”
“Great, so what do I do now?”
“Well, it’s not real obvious, but it’s a little obvious. You need to change your clothes.”
“I don’t have any clothes to change into. Wait, is that what your spare clothes are for in your P.E. locker?”
“Well, that’s one use.”
“I wore those yesterday. I forgot to bring the clothes you told me to bring yesterday.”
“Okay, here’s what you do. There are some small panty liners in a side pocket of my purse. Go to the bathroom and put one of those on.”
“How?”
“I’m sure you can figure it out. There is an adhesive side that sticks to your underwear. Take the paper off of the adhesive side and stick it where the blood is. Once you’re done, go to my house and change your clothes. Just use the clothes I have set for tomorrow. I think I set jeans out for tomorrow. I have extra supplies under my bathroom sink. It’s the first day, so you’ll probably only need the panty liners. Bring a few regular pads in case.”
“A few?” I asked.
“In case,” she repeated. “There are instructions in the box, but I’m sure you can figure them out. It’s not rocket science. You’ll miss physics, maybe calculus, but you should be able to make it back in time for lunch.”
“Yay.”
“I know. Trust me…nothing thrills me more than getting to share this moment with you.” That was sarcasm.
“Okay,” I said, “I guess I’m leaving now.”
“One last thing. Put all of the clothes in the washer and wash them in cold water. Make sure to use cold water.”
“Got it. Oh, how do I keep from getting blood on your car seat?”
“Fold the dress over a couple of times before you sit down. If you need, I probably have a towel or something else you can use in the trunk of my car.”
“Okay. I’ll see you at lunch.” With that, I headed to the bathroom.
It’s not like I’m unaware that girls have periods, but out of sight, out of mind. I’ve never had to deal with it, so I’ve never paid it much thought. It looks like that’s going to change quickly.
I walked into the girls’ bathroom and entered an empty stall. After putting my things on the door hook, I found the…panty liner…in Nicole’s purse side pouch and followed Nicole’s instructions. Fortunately, I skipped putting the nylons back on after P.E., so it was a little easier to maneuver. I grabbed my things, washed up and headed out toward the car.
Most of the students were already in class, which I was thankful for. It probably wasn’t very noticeable, but I didn’t really want to take the chance. I had made it nearly the whole way, when I heard a voice call Nicole’s name. A guy from one of her classes, Spanish maybe, walked up to me. I knew him vaguely. I think Nicole must only know him vaguely, because she didn’t mention him in any of our talks.
“Hi! Kevin,” he said, pointing to himself.
“Right, hi,” I said, trying to smile politely.
“Aren’t you going to be late for class?” he asked.
If he was worried about me being late for class, why did he stop me? “I should ask you the same thing.”
“I’m an office aide this period, so…”
I looked at him as if to say ‘So, why exactly are you talking to me right now?’
“So, I was wondering, would you like to maybe go out some time? To the movies or…dinner, maybe?”
I didn’t want to be rude, because I knew what it was like to be rejected badly. I didn’t really have time to chat, though. I tried to be nice, but short.
“Oh, thank you, but I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
Seriously? He needs a reason? “Seriously? You need a reason?”
“Well, it would be nice.”
How about because I’m a guy in a girl’s body. Or that the girl who normally occupies this body wouldn’t date you because she doesn’t date. “Uhh…you’re not my type. Sorry.”
“Well…”
“No. Sorry,” I said, and I turned and walked away.
No wonder Nicole was short with me. Guys can be thick sometimes. And, he didn’t even try to work in a conversation. It’s like he just expected me to say yes because he was Kevin. I’ve got to give him credit, though. I wouldn’t have had the guts to keep talking after she told me ‘no.’ It’s hard enough to ask someone out, but it’s even harder to talk once the illusions you’ve built up in your head come crashing down with ‘no.’
I made it to the car without any additional incidents. Nicole had a beach towel in the trunk, so I laid that down on the seat, folded the dress over for extra measure and sat down. Thirty minutes later, I was pulling into Nicole’s garage.
Inside, there was nobody home. Nicole’s mother must have been out running errands, because the house was silent. That was a relief because I didn’t want to have to worry about running into anyone and having them ask a bunch of questions.
I my clothes and threw them into the washer. I didn’t want to waste a load of laundry on two articles of clothing, so I grabbed the colors from my room…well, Nicole’s room…and added them to the wash load.
The laundry detergent was on a shelf above the washer, so I grabbed it and the fabric softener and filled them in their appropriate compartments. I changed the setting to cold wash and cold rinse and started it on its way.
I was feeling kind of gross, so I decided to hose off in the shower real quick. It took just a few minutes since I didn’t get my hair wet. After drying off, I went to get my new clothes.
Once I had underwear, I went back to the bathroom to find Nicole’s ‘supplies’ under her sink. Everything was there, nice and neat, tucked in the back. I grabbed three of everything and put them on the counter. Then I grabbed a pad, read the instructions and attempted to put one in place. I pulled it out of the wrapper and removed the paper covering the adhesive strip. The sticky stuff kept sticking to my fingers, and I was having a hard time getting it in place. And, what’s the deal with these wings? It’s a pad, not a plane. Finally, I was able to get it in place and pulled my underwear up. Yeah, not comfortable.
I grabbed the supplies and put them in Nicole’s purse. It occurred to me that I needed to take some time soon and go through Nicole’s purse. I had left her purse alone for the most part, thinking it was best to leave her private stuff private. If I have to be Nicole, maybe I need to see what other surprises might be in my future. Not now, though.
I grabbed a new bra and put it on, and I headed into the closet to grab the clothes. Nicole said there were jeans for the next outfit, which I found. She had a shirt, blouse thing for the top. I put them on, along with some socks and tennis shoes, grabbed all of my things and headed back to the car.
If traffic was bad, I’d likely still be able to have time to enjoy lunch instead of rushing. If traffic was good, I may make half of calculus. I quickly got on my way and ended up at the school with enough time to still get credit for being present for calculus. Pretty good time, with all things considered. I entered the classroom as discretely as possible, but Mrs. Clark still noted the interruption.
“Nice of you to join us Miss Evans. Where have you been?”
“I wasn’t feeling very well. I’ve been in the bathroom.”
“Do you need to go to the nurse’s office?”
“No, thank you. I think I’ll be okay now.”
“Very well. Take your seat.”
I took my seat next to Jessica quickly and tried to get my bearings on where the class was with the lesson. Fortunately, my class was ahead of Nicole’s, so I had already covered this material.
Class went by pretty quickly, which probably had something to do with me only being there for thirty minutes. The bell rang, and Jessica caught my attention.
“Are you okay? I was worried about you.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. My stomach was hurting, but I think it’s passed.” It hadn’t really, but I didn’t think Jessica needed to know that.
“Okay. I’ve got to go to my locker. I’ll see you at lunch?”
“Yeah, see you then,” I said, as I headed to the cafeteria.
I walked into the lunchroom and headed toward the lunch line. Mike and Nicole were walking toward the line from the opposite end of the cafeteria. Mike had a big smile on his face. Uh-oh, what now?
“My little girl’s growin’ up so fast. Your first period,” he said, trying to hug me.
“Mike!” Nicole and I yelled in unison, while I pushed him off and Nicole smacked him.
“Sorry!” he said defensively. “Da heck. No sense of humor.”
“Don’t smack him like that. You look like a girl,” I said politely, half laughing.
She looked at me like ‘what do you expect?’
“I’m just saying.” I turned to Mike. “Dude, think about what you are doing and saying. We told you about this because we needed your help and we thought we could trust you.”
“I know. I’ll be good.”
“So, what did I miss?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“Not a whole lot,” Nicole said. “I’ve got what you need for homework. It should be easy. I told Mr. Korelinski you had a migraine and needed to be in the dark for a bit. I said you would try and get to class before it ended, but…I don’t think he even marked you…well, me…absent.
“You’ll have to get your calculus homework,” she continued.
“I made it to calculus for half of the class, so I got my homework.”
Nicole gave me a look of discretion and seriousness. “So, are you better…prepared for the day?”
“I…think so. Is there anything else I need to know?”
“Like what?”
“You’re asking me? How does this work?”
“You’ve taken health class. Don’t you know?”
“I think so, but I never thought I would need good notes on the subject.”
“Well, it usually lasts five to seven days. It should be pretty mild today, but it will be heavier for the next few days before it tapers back off. Change your supplies every four hours at the most, but you’ll know if you need to do it more often.”
“Anything else?”
“Not that I can think of. Oh…don’t flush them. Roll them up in tissue and throw them away. You’ll overflow the toilet if you flush them.”
“Ladies, you’re killing me here,” Mike chimed in. “Could we get over the girl fest please? I’m about to have lunch. I don’t need the mental images.”
“Really?” Nicole retorted. “I didn’t think you had enough horsepower upstairs to gather a mental image, Mike.” She was being playful but direct.
“Nice,” I said, and Nicole smiled.
“Ha, ha, ha. Could we please just change the subject?”
“Yes, Mike. We can change the subject.”
We didn’t seem to find a new subject after that. We walked through the lunch line without any further conversation until we sat down. Jessica, Caryn and Meredith joined us a few minutes later.
“Hey guys,” Jessica said cheerfully. “How are you doing?”
“Helloooo ladies!” Mike said in his smoothest voice. Nicole rolled her…well, my eyes. Jessica and Caryn smiled wide. Meredith even seemed to attempt a smile.
“So,” Mike said, looking at Nicole and me, “do you want to hang out tonight?”
“I can’t,” I said. “I’ve got plans tonight.”
“Really?” Nicole asked. “What kind of plans?”
“We’re going to hang out at the mall tonight,” Jessica offered. “Do you guys want to come?”
Nicole, Meredith and I turned to look at her. Caryn didn’t seem too fazed.
“What?” Jessica asked defensively.
“Thanks, but I don’t think…” started Nicole.
“Oh, come on. It’ll be fun,” Jessica interrupted.
Nicole looked at me. I wasn’t really sure what she was expecting me to say…‘Please don’t come to hang out with your girlfriends to help me survive while they guy shop?’
“Well, I guess I could. If you guys don’t mind.”
Jessica smiled. “I don’t mind.”
Caryn and Meredith didn’t seem to care either way. Nicole and I looked at Mike.
“How about you, Mike? Are you going to come?”
“Na. Malls aren’t my thing.”
“I’ll pick you up tonight after I get Jessica,” I said to Nicole.
“Okay. I’ll be ready.”
For the next fifteen minutes, we all talked about different things. Different conversations going on between different people. At one point, I sat back and watched as everyone interacted. Even Meredith seemed to be nicer today. She was talking to Mike and Nicole, who she thought was me. There may just be some new friendships in the making here.
“Well, I’m going to head to class. I’ll see you guys tonight,” I said. “Mike, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See ya,” he said.
Nicole got up and said goodbye to everyone. She caught up with me as I headed toward Spanish class.
“I’m not sure really why Jessica invited us tonight. When we go to the mall we usually…”
“Guy shop,” I interjected.
She smiled. “That’s what she likes to call it. But usually we go looking for clothes and we’ll check out earrings and necklaces…a lot of things guys aren’t going to want to do.”
“So where does the guy shopping come into play?”
“It’s just a term she likes to use. It’s more us just going out together, but we keep on the lookout for cute guys. If we see one, they’ll make a point to say hi. We’re not actively guy hunting though.”
“Well, that’s a bit of a relief. I’ve already had one guy ask me out today, and that was awkward. I wasn’t looking to have to say no to a bunch of other guys.”
“Who asked us out?” she asked, smiling.
“Funny. I think his name is Kevin, and I think he’s in your Spanish class.”
“Oh, he’s cute,” she said.
“And arrogant,” I said.
“Yeah, I got that impression, too. What did he say?”
“He called to me as I was leaving the school, and started by telling me I was going to be late to class.”
“So, he stopped you to tell you that you were going to be late? That’s dumb.”
“Yeah, and then he just flat out asked me out.”
“What did you say?”
“I said ‘no thank you’ and he asked me why not.”
“And?” she asked.
“I couldn’t believe he was asking me for a reason.”
“What did you say?”
“I think I actually asked him if he needed a reason, and he said he’d like one. I told him he wasn’t my type and then I walked away.”
She smiled.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing really. I think you handled that well.”
“Thanks.”
“We’ll talk more later. I’ve got to get to class,” Nicole said as she walked away.
I walked into Spanish and saw Kevin on the other side of the room. He saw me walk in and quickly turned away. I took my seat and waited for class to begin.
It’s never fun being rejected. Maybe I could have been nicer to Kevin, but at the time he was being annoying and preventing me from getting to Nicole’s house. I looked over at him hoping to catch his eye and smile, to let him know there were no hard feelings. His posture and body language were telling me he had no interest in looking my way. Oh well. I guess that’s his problem.
Fifth and sixth periods went by without any issues. I ran into Nicole after school.
“Hey, how did the rest of your day go?”
“I think it went okay. I’m trying to get used to the feeling of wearing these things. They feel like diapers.”
“I wasn’t aware you knew what diapers felt like.”
“You know what I mean.”
“They don’t really feel like diapers, but I do know what you are trying to say. It’ll be over in a week.”
“Yay me.”
Nicole smiled.
“So, are you really going to pick me up later, or are we going to study together?”
“Oh, we can study together. Text Mike that I’ll take you home.”
She did so, and we headed back to Nicole’s car. We were getting in as my…well, Nicole’s phone rang. Jessica’s name came up on caller id.
“Hey Jess. What’s up?”
“Okay, so you are going to pick me up, and then we are going to get Jake, right?”
“Actually, I will probably pick Jake up first.”
“And…there’s nothing going on between you two?”
“Yeah, why?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said and then gave out a heavy sigh. “Okay…so if you’re not okay with this I totally understand, but he’s…kind of cute, and he seems real nice, the little I’ve gotten to know him. I mean, he must be nice if you’re friends with him. But you’re not interested in him, so I was wondering if it was okay if…I…was…maybe?”
I was silent for…I don’t really know how long. Apparently I was silent for too long because Jessica chimed back in.
“You know what, it’s a bad idea. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.”
“No, no! It’s okay. I just didn’t really know what to say. I mean, I didn’t really think he would be your type, and I don’t really know if you’re his type.” I’ll need to think about that. And lots more. “But, you’re welcome to try.” What was I saying? Nicole was going to kill me.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yeah, I mean, it doesn’t hurt to try.”
Jessica gave out a little squeal. “Thanks Nikki. I was a little nervous you might like him and not be admitting it yet. I don’t know why, but I’ve found myself thinking about him all day. Do you have any advice?”
Wow! How to answer that? So many things come to mind. “Just be yourself. Let him like you or not like you for who you are. Whatever the case, just make sure to be yourself.”
“Thanks, Nikki! You’re the best! See you tonight!”
I said goodbye, hung up and looked over at Nicole.
“That sounded like an interesting conversation. What was that about?”
“Jessica wanted to know if it was okay if she was interested in…me.”
Nicole gasped. Not a ‘life is over as we know it’ gasp, but a gasp nonetheless.
“She what?”
“Was that rhetorical or did you need me to repeat it?”
“Rhetorical, I guess. And you told her okay?”
“Well, yeah. I didn’t know what else to say.”
“How about no? Or not yet? Or, let me think about it?”
“I was thinking that it might send the wrong message, like if I said no it would mean you were interested in me.”
“Well, that’s a good point I guess, but…ugh!”
“What do we do? She said she’s been thinking about me all day.”
“That would explain why she invited you to go with us tonight.”
“Well, actually she asked you,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.
“Not the time, Jake.” Apparently she’s not ready to lighten the mood.
“Okay,” she finally continued, “she doesn’t know that you, or I, or…ugh…Jake knows about this. I’ll just be friendly, but not ask her out.”
“What if she asks you out?” I asked.
“I’ll say no.”
“Don’t I get a say in this?”
“I…guess so. What, do you want to date her?” she asked, surprised.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure she’s my type, but if she asked me out, I would say yes. How do you know if you like someone if you don’t try, right?”
“Jake, she’s my best friend. How am I supposed to take her out on a date? And worse…kiss her goodnight?”
“I understand that, but because she’s one of your best friends, I would think you would want her to be happy. What if we were meant to be?”
“It’s not likely that you two are meant to be,” she said. After a brief pause, she continued, “I do want her to be happy, but that’s asking a lot.”
“She doesn’t know it’s asking a lot.”
Nicole winced like she was in pain. I recognized that look on my face. “Look, if she asks me out, I’ll try to say yes, but I’m not asking her out.”
“That’s fine. That’s probably what I would do.”
“Why me?” she said, mostly to herself. “This whole situation gets crazier every day. Every day, I want to switch back more and more.”
We arrived at my house, gathered our things and headed inside.
We started studying almost right away. If we were going to go out tonight, we were going to need to hurry to get everything done. As we studied, we would share information we thought each other would need to know. The last thing either of us wanted was to switch back and not be able to pick up our own lives.
After about three hours of studying, Nicole’s phone rang. It was Nicole’s mother.
“Uh-oh,” I said.
“What?”
“It’s your mother.”
“So answer it.”
“I probably shouldn’t.”
“Why? What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything. It sort of slipped my mind though that your mother and father told me last night that they would prefer if I spent less time over here and we spent more time at your house.”
“What? Why would they say that?” she asked. She seemed a little irritated.
“Your parents, mainly your father, seem concerned that ‘you’ are spending so much time with ‘me.’ They asked me some questions about ‘me’ and they didn’t like that my father left home when I was a little kid and that my mother works full-time during the week. They are afraid that ‘I’ might take advantage of ‘you’ or something like that. They were vague, but I could tell that was their concern. They said they weren’t telling me not to come over here…yet, but that they would like to have us over at your house more so they can get to know me.”
Nicole just looked at me the whole time I was talking, and continued looking at me until she found her voice.
“I am so sorry. That had to be very uncomfortable for you. I mean, they obviously don’t understand our situation, but it must have hurt having them say all of that about you…and your family.”
“It did, but I know they are just trying to protect you.”
“Yes, but they couldn’t be more off base. You really are a good guy. And I think your mom is great. If they knew her, I know they’d feel differently.”
“I didn’t really know what to say to your father. I’m sure you could have handled the situation better. I was trying my best to bite my tongue and not say something to cause a problem. I wish you could have been there to speak to your father. That’s a case where it would have been helpful to know your father better to know what to say.”
“Well, I wish I could have spoken to my father, too. This whole situation has been just awful at times.”
At that moment, I saw my mother standing at the doorway to my room. She looked pale. I gave Nicole a look, because she had her back to the door. She turned around to see my mother give a half-hearted smile. I smiled and said hello.
“Hi kids,” she said softly.
“Oh, hi mom,” she said looking at her…well, my…watch. “You’re home early. Are you feeling okay?”
“No, I’m feeling a little under the weather, so I asked to go home a little early. I had some personal time available, so they let me go. What are you two doing?” she said curiously.
“We were studying, but we’re taking a break. We were just talking. Do you need me to get you something?”
My mother’s smile became a little warmer. “No Hon, but thank you. I’m just going to go lie down for a while. Are you guys going to be here for dinner?”
“Well, we were going to go to the mall with some friends, but I can stay home…”
“Oh no. Thank you Jake, but I’ll be fine. You go out and have a good time. Just make sure you’re home by eleven, or call if there’s a problem.”
“Are you sure, because I don’t mind staying?”
“I’m sure. Have fun.”
“I hope you feel better, Angela,” I said.
“Thank you, Dear. Nice seeing you again.”
I smiled, and she walked away.
“She didn’t look so good. I hope she’s okay,” Nicole said.
“I know. Hopefully she’ll feel better when she gets some rest. They work her hard at her office. She doesn’t take time to eat lunch half the time.”
“That’s not good.”
“I know. So, what were we talking about?”
Nicole thought for a moment. “I…don’t remember.”
“Oh well. It must not have been important. I’ve got about thirty minutes left of government, and then I’m done.”
“I’m almost done, too. Should we go to my house...Oh,” she said after a pause, “that’s what we were talking about. My parents. And you never called my mom back. Do you want to call her back, see what she wanted and tell her we are coming over for dinner?”
“Okay. What do I say if she asks me what I’ve been doing?”
“Tell her you were studying. You said they told you that you could come over here still, right?”
“Right.”
“Then it shouldn’t be a big deal. If my mom starts to make an issue of it, just tell her that’s why we are coming over there for dinner.”
I called Nicole’s mom back. She answered on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Hi mom, sorry I missed your call. What’s going on?”
“I just wanted to see if everything was okay. I found some of your clothes in the washer. It looked like the outfit you left school in today.”
How did she remember that, and how did she notice with everything else mixed in there? I could barely remember what I wore this morning, much less what others were wearing. “Oh, yeah…they got…dirty. I had to come home and change.”
“Oh…gotcha!” she said. “I moved them to the dryer. I’ll put them away for you.”
“Thank you.”
“Sure. So, what are you up to?”
“I’m studying right now. Jake and I were planning on coming over for dinner tonight, and then we’re going to go to the mall with Jessica, Caryn and Meredith.”
“Oh, that sounds like a great idea! You haven’t gone out with the girls in a while. I’ll have dinner ready by six. Love you.”
“Love you, too,” I said. She hung up, and I did the same. It’s weird telling Nicole’s mother I love her.
“She was fine with us coming for dinner. I forgot about the clothes in the washer. She seemed to understand, you know…”
“Yeah. Girls get that kind of stuff. At one time or another, I think it’s happened to all of us.”
“I didn’t know what to say. Do girls normally talk about that stuff?”
“Girls talk about everything with each other. At least, that’s my experience. How else are we supposed to figure out everything that’s going on in us?”
“I don’t know…Google?”
“So, guys don’t talk about things?”
“We talk about some things, but I don’t usually talk about really personal stuff. It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“That kind of goes back to what we were talking about before,” she said. “If it happens to you, it likely happens to everyone. Talking about things like that help you understand more.”
“I guess that makes sense. I just don’t see myself talking about personal things with Mike. You saw how he handled today.”
“Yes, well Mike is a bad example for this conversation.”
We finished up our studying and gathered our things together. We looked for my mother, but she appeared to be in her room, so we just left.
We arrived at Nicole’s house and found her mother in the kitchen.
“Hi guys.”
We both said hello.
“How was your day?” she asked.
“It was fine. I missed physics and some of calculus so I could come home and change, but I got the stuff that I missed and we’re both done with our homework.”
“How about you, Jake? How was your day?”
“My day was fine, thanks.”
“Good. Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”
We walked up the stairs to Nicole’s room. She spent the little bit of time we had giving me some wardrobe tips. I hope I switch back to being a guy before I learn all there is to know about girl’s clothes. There is so much to learn.
I had just learned the difference between flats, pumps and heels when Nicole’s mother called us down to dinner. We both washed up and headed downstairs.
Nicole’s father was sitting at the dining room table, and her mother was bringing in the food.
“Can I help you with anything, Sara?” Nicole asked.
“I’m fine, but thank you, Jake. I appreciate the offer. You two can have a seat, and I’ll be right there.”
We took our seats, Sara brought in the final dishes and she sat down for dinner. Nicole’s father said grace and we started eating.
“Thank you for having me for dinner,” Nicole said. “Everything looks great!”
“Anytime, Jake,” Nicole’s mother offered. “Any friend of Nicole’s is welcome here.”
“So, Jake,” her father started, “tell me about yourself.”
“What would you like to know, Keith?” she asked.
“What classes are you taking in school?”
“I actually have very similar classes to Nicole. We share English and physics classes. We both have calculus, Spanish II and government, but at different times.”
“So, how are your grades?”
“I think you said you had five A’s and a B, right Jake?” I said, offering her the same help she gave me with my mother.
“Yes, that’s correct,” she said, smiling my way.
“Impressive,” her father replied. “Do you have plans for college?”
We hadn’t talked about this much. We talked just a little about it yesterday. Why didn’t we realize that this was going to be an inquisition? I’m not sure how much I should cut in. I hope she can wing it.
“Yes, I do. Although, I haven’t decided on a college yet. Right now, I’m just starting to look at my options and getting ready to apply to universities.”
“Do you have money set aside for college? With your grades, you ought to be able to get some scholarships, but you should always be prepared.”
I think Nicole’s father was being genuine with his questions, but they were starting to feel uncomfortable. Nicole gave me a look that told me she could use a little help, but I didn’t really know how Nicole would respond in a situation like this, so I didn’t say anything. Talk about being in a weird place.
“Well, actually I’m really going to be counting on scholarships to get into college.”
“What are you planning to do for your career?”
“I don’t really know.”
“What do you enjoy doing?”
Again, Nicole looked at me for help. “Jake is really good at physics. He’d probably make a good engineer,” I offered.
“Engineering is a great field. There are so many options with mechanical engineering and electrical engineering. There are lots of related fields out there, too. Is that something that interests you, Jake?”
“It does. It’s something I have thought about, but I want to make sure I get lots of information before I make a choice. I don’t want to get ten years into a career, and find it’s not something I really love.”
“Very sensible,” her father said. He started to open his mouth to ask another question, but Nicole’s mother stepped in.
“Dear, do you think you might want to let Jake eat his food before it gets cold?” she said, giving him a telling look.
“I’m sorry. I guess I got carried away with the questions. I’m just trying to get to know the boy who has been spending so much time my daughter.”
“Well, we don’t have to do it all in one night. Hopefully we won’t have scared him away, and he’ll want to come back again sometime.”
“Oh, it takes more than that to scare me away,” Nicole said smiling.
We all made idle conversation the rest of the time while we ate our dinner. Before long, we were saying goodbye and heading to Jessica’s house.
“Wow, my dad was out of line there. If I were me, I would have said something.”
“I didn’t know what you would say, so I thought it better to keep my mouth shut.”
“Well, he was asking very personal questions. That’s a bit heavy for your first dinner at our house.”
“He’s just protecting his girl,” I offered.
“Yeah, maybe. That doesn’t make it okay.” No argument here.
I called Jessica a few minutes before we arrived at her house. She was waiting for us when we pulled into her driveway.
“Hi guys!” she said, getting in the car.
We both said hi as I backed out and headed toward the mall.
“I’m so glad you were able to come, Jake! Do you go to the mall very often?”
“I…,” she said, trying to get a read from me. I subtly shook my head no. “No, not really.”
“I didn’t think so. I mean, I’ve never seen you there before, and well, not that I would necessarily have seen you if you were at the mall. I mean, not that I wouldn’t have noticed you, it’s just that, well, the mall is a big place, so if you were there, I might have seen you there, or I might not have seen you there. But I didn’t, so…”
What a train wreck. I was feeling bad for Jessica. She was obviously nervous and trying to impress…well, me. She was really struggling, though. I didn’t really know how to help, but I thought I would try.
“So, Jess, where are we meeting Caryn and Meredith at?”
“We’re meeting them at the food court. They were going to eat there and wait for us to show.”
“So,” Nicole added, “are there any stores in particular we are going to tonight?”
“Well, normally we just walk around until a store catches our eye. It’s mostly girl stores, but since we have mixed company, I thought we could try and go to more neutral stores. Maybe some girl stores and some guy stores. Are there any places you want to go?”
“Maybe we could go to the music store,” Nicole said.
“Oh, that’s a good idea. What kind of music do you like?” she asked.
To think this morning I was feeling like we were starting to get comfortable in each others’ shoes. She has no idea what kind of music I like.
“Oh, he likes pop and rock mainly, right Jake? We were listening to the stereo on the way to your house.”
“Yeah, pop, rock. Those are my favorites.”
“Me too! Who’s your favorite band?”
“Well, I like Daughtry a lot right now.”
“Aren’t they great? Nikki and I love Daughtry, huh Nikki?”
“Oh, yeah. Daughtry is great!”
“Yeah, I really like their music,” Nicole said. “They’ve got lots of great songs. It seems like everything they put out is a hit.”
“I know. Same with Taylor Swift. I love her music!”
Nicole looked at me out of the corner of her eye, trying to read whether or not I liked Taylor Swift. Her music is alright. I like her sound, but the lyrics are very teen girlie, so I don’t really relate. I still like to hear the music, though. Not to mention she’s hot. Unfortunately, my only options to let Nicole know whether I like her music or not is to nod ‘yes,’ shake my head ‘no’ or shrug. Shrugging seemed the best choice.
“Uhh…I like Taylor okay. I like some of her songs, anyway.”
“Oh, I think she’s great!” Jessica confirmed.
“Nikki loves Taylor, don’t you Nikki?”
I’m guessing she knows better than I do. “Yeah, I love her music.”
“Nikki is always singing her songs. She loves to sing ‘The Way I Loved You.’ She’s got a great voice. Have you heard her sing?”
“No, I haven’t,” she said, looking at me nervously. Great, why do I have a feeling I know what’s coming next?
“Why don’t you sing for him, Nikki? You have her CD in here, right?”
Yeah, I had a feeling that was coming. “No, I think it’s in my room.”
“That’s too bad,” Jessica said. “Maybe another time. How about you, Jake? Do you like to sing?”
Okay, I’m starting to regret this trip. We haven’t even gotten to the mall, and Nicole is getting question after question she can’t answer. I looked out the driver’s side window, and then looked back at…well…me, hoping to subtly let Nicole know that I can’t sing.
“No, I don’t really sing,” she said.
“Hmmm…me neither. I mean, I wish I could, but I don’t have the best voice.”
We pulled into the mall parking lot not a moment too soon. Hopefully, we could skip the questions for just a bit.
We found Caryn and Meredith sitting in the food court. They were deep in their own conversation when we walked up.
“Hey, girls,” Jessica said cheerily.
“Oh, hey,” Caryn said, as Meredith smiled. “We were just finishing up. Where did you guys want to start?”
“Why don’t we let Jake choose since this is his first time out with us,” Jessica offered.
“Oh, I don’t care where we go,” Nicole said dismissively. “Why don’t you guys go where you normally go. If there’s somewhere I want to check out, I’ll let you know.”
We spent the next hour walking around the mall. I felt…icky, but I tried to keep a smile on my face. Nicole did her best to fit in. In retrospect, this wasn’t the best idea. Not because three girls can’t hang out with one guy, but because one guy hanging out with three girls who are shopping for mostly clothes and accessories is awkward.
Of course, I was the one who felt awkward. Just because I look the part, doesn’t mean I am comfortable talking about girls’ clothes. What’s cute. What’s not. Which skirt would go with that top. I even had to try on a few bras at Jessica’s urging. I don’t know what makes a bra good. I ended up buying three bras that I had no idea whether they were any good or not. I hoped that was an acceptable use of Nicole’s credit card. She didn’t say anything, so I was guessing it was okay.
Jessica failed miserably at trying to discreetly be next to who she thought was me all night. Anytime she did anything, Jessica would ask Nicole what she thought about the subject. Nicole did her best, and Jessica liked her answers, but that was because they were Nicole’s answers. I would have answered some of the questions differently. Like when Jessica asked Nicole what she thought of the shirt she had been holding, Nicole told her that it would go better with jeans than the skirt Jessica was thinking of buying. I would have said something like ‘that’s nice.’ What do I know about girl fashion?
The last stop on our mall run was to the music and video store. Nicole made a mistake by wandering over by the movie new releases. As she started casually looking at some of the recent releases, Jessica decided to take the opportunity to strike up a new conversation.
“So, Jake,” she started, “what kind of movies do you like?”
I was on another aisle, but I could hear their conversation. I was tempted to go try and help Nicole out, but I thought that might be too obvious.
“I…like all different kinds of movies. How about you?” That was good. She deflected to Jessica without even really answering the question.
“I like all kinds of movies, too. Romance, action, comedies, you name it. So, do you go to the movies a lot?”
“Sometimes. If there is a movie I want to see, I like to see it in the theaters.”
“What about New Moon? Are you planning to see it?”
“I don’t know,” Nicole said. I hoped she saw where this was going. “I was thinking about it.”
“Do you want to go see it together maybe? I’m free this Friday.”
Yeah…I don’t think she saw that coming.
“Oh, uh, sure…we could do that. I’ll ask Mike if he wants to go. Have you asked the girls yet?”
“No. But I can if you’d like,” she offered, a little less than enthusiastically.
“Sure. Should we meet at the theater?”
“I was thinking you could pick me up,” Jessica said.
“I don’t have a car.”
“Oh! Well, I should have my car back by then. How about I pick you up? We could grab a bite to eat beforehand.”
Nicole didn’t say anything for a few moments. She was probably searching for the right words to say. “You know what, it was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have suggested it.”
“No, no! I didn’t mean to…so what are you saying? Are you…”
“Asking you on a date?” Jessica finished. “Only if, you know…you want to. If not, it’s okay,” she quickly added.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just…”
“Look,” Jessica said, trying to sound sincere, “it’s okay if you don’t want to. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.”
I could tell from the little I could see of…well, my face that Nicole was struggling with this whole situation. I knew she didn’t want to go on a date with Jessica, for obvious reasons. I also knew she didn’t want to hurt Jessica’s feelings.
“You know what?” Nicole finally said, “I think that would be good. Friday night.”
“Really?” Jessica said, trying to contain her enthusiasm. “Great! It’ll be fun. Do you still want me to invite the girls?” she asked as an aside.
“Sure, that will be good.”
“Okay. So, I’ll pick you up at your house at six?”
“Sure. I’m…looking forward to it,” Nicole said.
“I’ll go invite the girls.” Jessica turned and jaunted off.
I walked over to the aisle Nicole was standing in. She looked like she had just been hit by a truck. I wasn’t sure what kind of a mood she was in, so I decided not to try humor.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Not sure. I walked into that, didn’t I?”
“It kind of seemed like it. I can’t believe she’s become so interested so fast. She was just talking about Jeremy Courtfield yesterday. Is that what she normally does when she likes someone?”
“Jeremy Courtfield, really?”
“Yeah, but it didn’t work out.”
“Well, when Jessica likes someone, she usually makes sure they know it. I guess that should have occurred to me.”
“Maybe. On another note, we could switch back before Friday,” I offered.
“I sure hope so. The thought of…” she stopped and shuddered.
“It won’t be the end of the world. You can make it through one date.”
“First of all, yes, I can probably make it through one date, but what about the second or third date? What if we stay like this and all of a sudden me and my best friend are a couple?
“Second,” she continued, “if I asked you to go out on one date with Mike, would you be okay with me telling you it’s just one date?”
“Good point.”
After the music store, we all decided to call it a night. I drove Jessica home, who seemed to be riding on cloud nine the whole time. She jumped out of the car and gave us both a bubbly “good night!” We tried to return the enthusiasm, though I’m sure we fell somewhat short.
Nicole and I didn’t say much until we got closer to my house. Finally, I broke the silence.
“So, it looks like there are some things we still have to cover.”
“It would appear so,” she replied.
“You did fine tonight. Considering you had to improvise. So, how often do you sing?”
“Normally…quite a bit, I guess. I like to sing while I’m driving, and usually when I’m getting ready. Mostly when it’s just me, but sometimes I’ll sing when Jessica, Caryn or Meredith are in the car.”
“Apparently you’re pretty good.”
“Yeah, that was nice of her to say. It’s not like I’m going to be getting a recording contract anytime soon. How about you? Do you sing?”
“Sometimes I’ll sing to myself. I don’t have that great of a voice.”
“It just takes practice. We have other, more important things to worry about, though. If someone asks you to sing for them, just tell them you’re not feeling well.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. So,” I said, changing the subject, “I’ll walk you in so I can see my mother for a minute.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea? I mean, won’t she think it’s strange that you walked in to say hi to her?”
“We’ll say I forgot my phone and I’ll pretend to get it out of my room. I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
Nicole smiled kindly. “Okay.”
When we walked in, my mother was sitting on the couch. We both said hi and she smiled at us.
“Did you two have fun at the mall?”
“Uhh…yeah. We had a good time,” I said. “So, are you feeling any better?”
“I’m feeling a little better now. I should be fine by tomorrow. That’s sweet of you to ask.”
“I think I left my phone here. I’m just going to grab it and take off,” I said, and I turned and headed down the hall to my room.
I returned after a moment, said goodnight, and headed out to the car.
It was becoming a habit, at the end of each day, to evaluate what went on during the course of the day. This had to be the worst day so far. Maybe it’s because I was starting to feel like I was getting everything under control, and today proved how far away we still are from being able to pull this off. Maybe it’s because I was probably the only guy to ever have to leave school because he started his period.
I didn’t really expect to know everything about Nicole in a handful of days, but I did feel like I was up on the main things. I guess I had developed some false confidence. Nicole and I will obviously have to spend more time going over details, which I don’t really mind. It’s nice spending time with her and it is definitely a unique experience getting to know her like this.
This situation could become more difficult with this Jessica ordeal. I’m not sure we thought this through well enough. I know that Nicole doesn’t want to hurt Jessica’s feelings, which I helped convince Nicole of, but thinking about it more, it may have been better in the end to just say no. If we don’t switch back, and Nicole can’t handle things, it may hurt Jessica more later. Maybe we could tell Jessica about us. I know Nicole said no, but maybe she will reconsider if this gets out of hand.
I still find myself trying to figure out exactly why this happened to us. It’s just odd that I’ve been switched with someone who I was interested in and who wouldn’t give me the time of day. Now that she’s been forced to get to know me, I think we’ve developed a pretty good friendship. I hope it continues when we change back. Whenever that is.
Nicole’s mother and father were in the Family Room when I arrived. They were watching a movie.
“Hi Kiddo,” her father said. “We’re watching Music and Lyrics. Do you want to join us?”
“What’s it about?” I said honestly. I’ve never seen the movie, but judging from the looks on their faces, Nicole must have seen it before. Probably more than once.
“What’s it about?” he repeated back to me. “You know the words to most of the songs.”
“Oh,” I said, improvising, “did you say Music and Lyrics? I misheard you. I’d love to stay and watch it with you guys, but I’ve got some things to take care of before bed. I’ll catch it next time.”
“Okay,” her mother said. “Love you.”
I quickly headed up the stairs to Nicole’s room and shut the door. I will have to be sure to ask Nicole about the movie. They sure seemed to have a strong liking for it. That could wait until tomorrow, though.
I couldn’t wait to get out of these clothes and hose off. I felt gross and I was looking forward to a shower. A nice, long, warm shower.
After what seemed like an eternity, I turned off the shower, got out and dried off. I quickly got dressed into my bedtime clothes. I had read in the instructions earlier that it was a good idea to wear a heavier pad to bed, so I found the biggest one and put it on. It occurred to me…girls have to deal with this about twenty-five percent of the time. About one week out of every four. That would equal three months out of every twelve. Ten years out of every forty. Well, not every forty, but you know. It makes me want to walk up to every girl I know and just say sorry. I’m not going to do that, but for the moment I was feeling pretty bad for them…and hoping I wouldn’t be one of them come tomorrow.
The alarm clock woke me up this morning. I never really needed my alarm clock when I was in my own body. I always woke up ready to go. Now, it seems like getting out of bed is the hardest thing I do all day. Once I’m up, I can go all day, and I seem to have more energy than I had before. But waking up is hard.
As I came to, I realized I wasn’t the only thing on Jake that was waking up. Boy, that thing has been standing at attention every morning since Monday. I guess they really do have a mind of their own. I sat up in bed, trying to let the blood sort itself out, when Jake’s mom knocked on the door.
I awkwardly made sure I was well covered and called for her to come in. She looked at me sitting up and gave me a concerned look.
“Are you okay, Honey?” she asked.
“Yeah, why?”
“Well, you just look uncomfortable or something.”
“Oh. I just woke up, but I’m okay. So, what’s up?” I asked.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“Your father,” she said, carefully looking me in the eyes.
Oh boy. “What about him?” I asked suspiciously. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, and I was very sure that Jake should be the one hearing this.
“I was walking by your room yesterday, when Nicole was over. I had just gotten home, and came to your room to say hello. I was only at your doorway for a second, but I heard you say something about how you wished you could talk to your father, and how this whole thing has been awful.”
“Oh. No, I don’t think…”
“Please, you don’t have to make any excuses. I should have had this conversation with you a long time ago. For the longest time, it was too hard for me to think or talk about, and I really felt you were too young anyway. As you got older, it just became easier not to talk about it, especially since you stopped asking.”
“Well, I felt like it was a subject that wasn’t welcome.” Fortunately Jake had told me that much about his dad.
“I know, and that’s my fault. I am so sorry.” She was teary eyed, and trying real hard to keep it together.
“Mom, it’s okay. Maybe now isn’t the time to have this conversation, though.” I can’t imagine how Jake would take hearing about his father from me. How would I tell him?
“No, if I don’t do it now, I may never. You have a right to know. You’re father…he died when you were about five years old.”
“How…how did he die?” I asked somberly. I wanted to cry, and this wasn’t even my dad.
“I don’t exactly know. We had not had a lot of contact, because he left when you were about two. It does you no good to hear a slanted story, so I’m going to do my best to tell you everything from the beginning, as unbiased as possible. It’s taken me a long time to work some of this out.
“Your father and I were pretty young when you were born. I had always wanted to have a child, and here you were, my little bundle of joy. I never really imagined having more kids, and giving birth didn’t exactly convince me otherwise.
“Your father wanted to have more kids, but more importantly he wanted more…quality time…with me. He seemed to always be complaining that I was distant and that I wasn’t fulfilling his needs. If I’m being honest with myself, he was probably right. At the time, I didn’t want to hear it. I was confident that I was a good wife because I kept the house clean and took care of you while he worked. I thought that should have been good enough.
“As time went on, we became more distant, until…one day he just left. He moved out with no notice. Really, I should have seen it coming. I should have seen there was something wrong. I mean, it’s not like we had big fights. We argued, but I didn’t think much of it. I obviously didn’t take it seriously enough.
“When he left, I was so angry. I didn’t have a job, and now I was in need of one fast. I had no family to help me. If it hadn’t have been for our old neighbor, Mrs. Kaplan, I don’t know what I would have done. She watched you a lot while I found a job, and then continued to watch you when you were really young until she moved back East to be with her sick brother.
“Anyway, your father returned a few weeks later with divorce papers. I was crushed. I mean, I didn’t expect us to get back together, but I had never imagined myself divorced. It was a culture shock, and it added to my resentment for him. Your father moved to New York and took a good job there. He sent child support, which we agreed to mutually, every month. He never missed a payment.”
“What did he do for a living?” I asked quietly. I was having a hard time finding my voice. I felt numb.
“He managed a small chain of stores out here. I’m not really sure what he did in New York.”
“So, that’s it? He just sent child support, and then he died?”
“Well, no. When you were about four, he called out of the blue. He sounded bad. Not sick, but kind of distraught. He said he wanted to see you. I think he felt guilty with how things had turned out. You know, early on, he was a great father. He’d come home from work, and the first thing he did was come see you. He’d hold you in his arms while he watched TV. As things fell apart, he seemed to lose his perspective. Maybe he felt that you were the reason he and I weren’t so close.
“Which you weren’t!” she added quickly. “It’s just that he became unhappy, and made some bad decisions.
“So,” she continued, “he came to town, and we met so that he could see you. After two years, I was as angry as ever at him. For leaving me, for being absent in your life…of course, I wasn’t exactly beating his door down to get him to see you. I guess I was selfish. I felt like he had left us both, and it probably made it easier to feel like he didn’t leave just me.
“He stayed in town for a few days, and he tried to see you as much as I would allow. I let him see you each day he was here, but I wouldn’t let you out of my sight. He tried to be civil, but there wasn’t much I was willing to talk about with him. When his trip was complete, your father told me he would return when he could, sometime in the next year.”
“Did he ever come back?” I barely found my voice to ask the question. I was stunned. I was pretty sure tears were streaming from my eyes.
“No. I think he died about six months after that.”
“So, how do you know he…died?”
“I received a certified package one day, and inside was a very brief letter from an attorney, stating that he had died and that he had left his savings and his life insurance policy in your name. I have been the trustee of your account since then, and until you turn eighteen. You’re not going to be rich off of it, but there’s enough money in it for you to go to college, just about anywhere you want to go. Then you’ll have a good down payment for a home. When the times comes, of course.”
My first thought was happiness for Jake, followed by concern that his mom has been living so meagerly for this whole time, keeping Jake’s money safe. I wasn’t sure how Jake was going to feel about this, and I wasn’t sure what to say.
“Uhh…okay, I have a whole lot to think about here. I have more questions, but I’d like to have some time to process all of this.”
“I completely understand. When you are ready, I will answer any questions I can.”
Jake’s mom had been sitting on his bed for most of the conversation. She got up and started walking out of the room.
“Jake,” she said, turning back toward me, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For waiting so long to tell you. For being so angry at your father. For…not doing a better job looking out for your interests.”
I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t want to speak for Jake on this. I smiled, hoping she would take comfort from it. She smiled back and walked away.
I couldn’t believe what just happened. My head was spinning. I needed to talk to Jake, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t know when either. I didn’t think I wanted to rush the conversation with him before school. I didn’t know if he’d be angry or happy, sad or even confused. Plus, I didn’t know how he was going to feel about me hearing it from his mother instead of him hearing it from her.
I decided to text him. I told him I needed to talk to him at lunch…alone. Once I sent the text, I headed to the bathroom to take a shower.
When I got out of the shower, I headed back to Jake’s room and checked my phone for messages. Jake had texted back, asking what was wrong. I texted him back to let him know that everything was fine, but I needed to talk to him privately and I needed more than a few minutes to have the conversation.
After sending the text, I returned to getting dressed. Jake responded back a few minutes later. “Okay. The mystery is making me a little nervous, but I’ll meet you at lunch.”
I felt bad leaving things so vague, but any information I gave him now would lead to more questions. Saying anything would lead to us having the whole conversation, and we just didn’t have time for that.
I finished getting ready for school and headed to the kitchen to have some breakfast. Jake’s mom was still getting ready, so I was able to eat in private. I was thankful not to have to try and make conversation at this point.
Mike arrived as I was putting my dishes in the dishwasher. He walked in and leaned up against the counter as I finished up.
“How’s it hangin’?”
“How’s what hangin’?” I asked.
“It’s an expression.”
“It must be a guy expression.”
“What’s up? How’s that, better?”
“I guess so.” I think he was being playful, but I wasn’t really in the playful mood.
“Okay, then. Are you ready to go?” he asked.
“Yeah, just let me get my stuff.”
For the first few days after the switch, I kept looking around for my purse, before I would realize I didn’t have one. Not having my purse is like cutting off my arm. As a girl, you just get used to always having it with you. I’m starting to learn my new routines, which means today I grabbed my things without actually looking for a purse.
Mike has been taking me to school every morning. It’s a little awkward on the trips because we have so little to talk about. He tries to make conversation, but usually it’s kind of obnoxious. I think I’ve figured out that he’s not a bad guy, but he tries way too hard. Everything he says is either an attempt to be funny or to try and sound smart, which is especially humorous since his vocabulary is so bad.
Today was no different. He started talking about how it would have been cool to switch bodies with a girl because chicks have it so easy. I stopped him there.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Sure.”
“You are so obnoxious. I mean, what exactly are you trying to accomplish by saying all of the garbage you say?”
“Whatever. Like I care what you say.”
“The thing is, Mike, I think you do care what I say. I think you care what almost everyone says. You try so hard to be funny and act smart because you want everyone to like you. And what’s worse, you act dumb on purpose to be funny and you make like you’re too smart to care. But, if you didn’t try so hard, people would like you, and they would like you for who you really are.”
“What makes you think you know anything about me?”
“Well, in the last week, I’ve kind of overdosed on Mike. I’ve gotten plenty of exposure to you.”
“That’s not my fault,” he said defensively.
I realized I had unnecessarily been raising my voice. After taking a deep breath, I started over.
“Look, I’m not trying to be mean. Tell me, how many girlfriends have you had?”
“Why?”
“Just tell me.”
“I’m not playin’.”
“Okay, never mind,” I said.
After a few minutes, he finally answered. “One.”
“One what?” I asked. I had already gotten lost in another thought.
“One girlfriend,” he said. Mike was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation.
“How many girls have you asked out?” I asked.
“I don’t know. What does it matter?”
“I’m trying to make a point.”
“So, why don’t you get to your point?”
“I need your answer before I can make my point.”
“I don’t know. I’ve asked a lot of girls out. I don’t keep a list.”
“I don’t need an exact answer. A lot will do. My point is you’ve asked a lot of girls out, and you’ve had one girlfriend, which means you’ve had a lot of girls tell you no.”
“No, no, no. I’ve had one girlfriend, but I’ve had more than one date.”
“What, two?” I asked.
“You know what? I’m done.”
“Mike,” I said, trying to sound thoughtful, “let me finish. You’re not a bad looking guy. I know for a fact that there are girls at our school who think you’re good looking. The thing they don’t like is that you seem fake.”
“I’m not fake,” he said, this time more hurt than angry.
“What I mean is you act fake. You play dumb, but you’re actually kind of smart. You try way too hard to impress people, usually by playing dumb or trying to be funny. It’s just so unnecessary.”
He didn’t say anything. I didn’t know if I had made him so angry he couldn’t talk, or if he was thinking about it.
“Look, all I’m trying to say, is be yourself. That doesn’t mean be rude and obnoxious and act dumb. It means, you are smart, so study and do something with your brains. It means use what God gave you to be somebody a girl would want to get to know. It means don’t always feel like you need to say something to make people laugh. Sometimes, it’s actually okay to let people know what you are thinking…and feeling.”
“So,” he said after a few minutes, “who thinks I’m cute?”
“Please tell me that’s not all you got out of this conversation.”
“It’s not. What do you expect me to say?”
“I don’t know, but not that. Think about what I said, Mike. I’m actually trying to help.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
We arrived at school about fifteen minutes early. You know, for all of Mike’s flaws, he never seems to be late.
“Thanks for the ride, Mike,” I said, trying to sound upbeat.
“Sure.” Mike was not nearly as upbeat.
“Hey,” I said. He turned to look at me. “I was trying to help. Maybe it wasn’t my place to say anything, but I just felt I should say it. I thought a girl’s perspective might do you some good.”
“Maybe.” I couldn’t tell if he was sincere or not. Mike still wasn’t in a good mood, but I didn’t really expect him to be after that.
We both headed toward the boys’ locker room when I saw Jake waiting out front.
“Hey, Mike,” Jake said. “Do you mind if I talk to…Jake…for a second?” he said looking around for passersby.
“Be my guest. Later.”
Jake watched Mike walk away and then he turned to me. “He seems in a bad mood. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, we just had a conversation this morning, and I might have been a little critical of him.”
“Oh boy. I know how your ‘little critical’ conversations can go,” he said smiling. “What did you say?”
“Well, he started rambling about this and that and he told me it would be cool to switch bodies with a girl because ‘chicks’ have it so easy.”
“Oh yeah,” he said. “It’s been a blast.”
“So, I stopped him and told him he was obnoxious and that he could be so much better if he tried harder, and that girls would like him better if he wasn’t always overdoing things. I said he would do better if he were just himself.”
“So, you told him to be himself, but just change most of what he’s like?” he said, a little concerned and a little amused.
“Wow, I don’t think it sounded like that. I was trying to tell him to be himself and not put on such a front. I did tell him to take his classes more seriously, though. Maybe I should clarify what I meant.”
“Probably not. He’ll get over it, but opening up that conversation again would probably do more harm than good. Besides, I wasn’t there, so maybe you were clearer with him. And…maybe getting a girl’s perspective will make him realize what others have been saying to him for a while.”
“That’s what I said, sort of.”
“You know, he’s really not a bad guy.”
“It’s strange. At first I couldn’t stand either of you. Even Mike has his moments…when he’s not being over the top obnoxious.”
“And me?” Jake asked.
“What about you? Surely by now you know I think you’re alright.”
“I thought so, but the way you grouped us together just now…”
“Only in that I had the same opinion of you two at first. Mike may have some redeeming qualities, but he still is more annoying than not. You are…actually a pretty good guy…for a girl, that is,” I said smiling.
“Thanks. So now that we’ve gotten totally off subject, what did you need to talk to me about?”
“We actually weren’t on that subject, and we don’t have enough time to talk about it right now.”
“Can’t you just give me an idea of what this is about?”
“I can’t. Telling you a little will just make you want to know more. It’s just a few hours, and then I can give you all of the story.”
“Nothing is wrong is it? You’d tell me now if something was wrong with my mother, right?”
“Of course. You’re mom is fine. There is nothing to worry about. We just need the proper amount of time to have the whole conversation.”
“You’re killing me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Ugh…okay, I’ll see you later.” He was frustrated, but he was trying to be playful.
“See you,” I said and headed to the locker room.
Mike was already dressed when I got in there, which was a relief. I have been trying really hard to mind my own business. It was still uncomfortable being in the boys’ locker room. Mike didn’t seem to be nearly as shy. I didn’t know if it was a guy thing or a Mike thing, but knowing that I am a girl, you would think he would be more discreet around me. He wasn’t.
I quickly changed and we headed out for class. Today we were playing volleyball. I liked volleyball okay, but I could tell most of the guys didn’t care for it. Time passed by quickly, and before I knew it we were heading back to the locker room.
This being my third day of P.E., I had developed a pretty good system for handling the shower situation. On the way to the showers I would stare at the floor. Once I reached the showers, I would stare at the wall and sing a song in my head while I washed up. I hoped I wouldn’t have to do this much longer, but at least now I knew I could handle it if I needed to.
Back at my locker, I quickly dressed and told Mike I would see him in physics. Each day this gets a little easier. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, but I’d take any small victory at the moment.
Jake was in English when I arrived. He smiled awkwardly, and I could tell he was still thinking about this impending conversation. Truth be told, I was actually thinking about it too. I really didn’t know how to start the conversation. It was such an important conversation that I didn’t want to tell it wrong. I kept rolling everything she said over again in my mind, trying to make sure that I didn’t forget any of the information.
I was obviously distracted because, before I knew it, class was already over. I think Jake was distracted to, because he jumped when the bell rang.
Physics went along with similar speed, and as Spanish began winding down, I could feel the nervousness in my stomach. The minutes seemed to be ticking away as though they were seconds.
I didn’t really know why I was so nervous. I didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t my fault that we were in this situation, and that his mother chose now to give this revelation. And really, Jake’s either going to be happy or sad or…whatever, and we’d move on. Still, none of this was making me feel any better.
The bell rang and I headed to my…well, Jake’s locker. Jake must have rushed, because he was at the locker waiting for me. He seemed white as a ghost. He looked as nervous as I felt.
“So,” he began, “where do you want to have this conversation?”
“Let’s go outside in the courtyard.”
“Okay, should we get some food first?”
“I can’t really eat right now.”
“Me neither,” he said.
We walked out to the courtyard and found a grassy area under a tree.
“So, let’s have it.”
“I don’t really know how to begin. I’ve been running it over in my head all morning.”
“Just start from the beginning.”
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “You’re mom came into your room this morning.” I looked at him, waiting for some kind of cue, but he was just staring.
“So,” I continued, “she said she overheard us talking yesterday about your dad.”
“I don’t remember talking about my dad yesterday,” he said.
“Well, we didn’t. We were talking about your conversation with my parents, and I had made some comment about wanting to talk to my dad about it. But, since it came from your mouth, she interpreted that as you talking about your dad.”
“Wow, I didn’t even catch on to that. She was only there for a minute.”
“I didn’t catch on to it either, until I was trying to reconstruct everything. So, she decided it was time to tell me about your dad. I tried to stop her,” I quickly added.
“Wait, she told you about my dad?” he asked. I couldn’t really read his expression. I probably couldn’t have read it if he were in his body, but being in my body made it that much more difficult.
“Yes.”
“What did she say? Where is he? Why did he leave?”
“He’s…dead,” I said, tearing up. “Jake, I’m so sorry.”
“So, that’s it? She just told you he died?”
“No, she told me quite a bit. I tried to tell her she should tell me another time, so maybe you could hear it directly, but she said she needed to say it then.”
“So, what did she say? Tell me everything.”
I went through every detail I could remember, trying to tell the story as close to the way she told it to me. After I had told him what I thought was everything, it occurred to me that I had left out the only good part of the story.
“Oh, and…he left you money!”
“What do you mean he left us money? We don’t have any money.”
“No, he left you money.”
I told Jake about the savings and life insurance his dad left in his name. Jake looked stunned. He was trying to sort it all out.
“So, why haven’t I seen any of this money before? Where is it?”
“I don’t really know. Your mom just said that she was the trustee of the account until you turn eighteen, and then it is yours. I don’t think you’ve seen any of it because your mom wanted to make sure it was safe until you went to college.”
“But, we could have really used that money all of this time.”
“I don’t think your mom wanted to use it. I think she wanted to make sure it was just for you. She didn’t say exactly, but that was the impression I got.”
“This would have been good to know. I mean, she’s always given me the things I’ve asked for, but because we didn’t have a lot of money, I’ve always tried not to ask for much. Had I known, maybe I would have asked for some of the things I really wanted.”
I didn’t say anything. He sat, thinking for a few minutes. Finally he found his voice. “So, was there anything else?”
I thought. “I really tried to remember everything so I could relay it to you. Your mom seemed very upset. I could tell she was trying very hard to give an honest account of everything. She took a fair amount of blame for how things ended up, and she was very apologetic for not telling you sooner. She said as time went on, it just got easier not to bring the conversation up.”
I waited a bit longer before I spoke again. “Are…you angry?”
“I…don’t really know what I feel. I don’t think I’m angry. Sad I guess. Confused. I mean, on top of everything else going on right now, I find out that my world has just flipped. Now all of a sudden I have all of this money I didn’t have before. I’ve always tried to get good grades so I could have a chance at getting scholarships, and now I don’t have to worry about that.”
“No,” I said, “but the good grades are still important. Plus, you can still get scholarships and save the money. Just think of the opportunities you’ll have now. It has to be a little exciting, right?”
“Yeah, it’s just hard to process. I would have liked to have been there so I could have asked her more questions.”
“I told her that,” I said. “I told her I needed to think about everything and that I would probably have more questions later. I thought you might have questions, and I didn’t want to speak for you.”
“Thank you,” he said softly.
I smiled. “I’m so sorry I had to be the one to hear it instead of you.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.” He didn’t really sell it, but he was trying not to make a big thing out of this.
“So, how do you want to handle this? Do you want to give me a list of questions?”
“Yeah, I will think of some questions and write them down for you. I would like to be there, but that would look funny to have…well, you there.”
“What if you hid in the closet or something?” I said.
“How would that work?”
“Well, if we get there before she gets home from work, you could be waiting in the closet already. I could ask her the questions and then when she goes to her room, or the bathroom, you could come out. You could leave, or you could stay and we could pretend you just arrived.”
“Hmmm...that might work. Let me think about it, and let you know later.”
“Okay,” I said. “I have to say, I’m relieved now that I’ve told you. I was so nervous.”
“Why?”
“Well, I didn’t know how you would handle all of this. It’s kind of a big thing. I have to say, you handled it well.”
“Thanks. I’m actually relieved, too. It’s amazing what you can work up in your mind when you don’t know what the conversation is going to be about.”
“What did you think I was going to say?”
“I don’t know. Most of them were pretty far-fetched, but when you don’t have a frame of reference, lots of things seem possible. I certainly didn’t think it would be about my father.”
“Sorry,” I said thoughtfully.
“It’s fine. You know, I’m getting hungry now. Let’s get some food before lunch is over.”
We grabbed some food and headed over to where the girls were sitting. Mike was there. They all seemed a little concerned when we showed up.
“There you guys are,” Jessica said. “Where were you?”
“We were in the courtyard,” I said. “We were talking about a project we have to do for English.”
“Thanks for including me!” Meredith said, obviously offended.
Whoops. “Sorry Mer,” I said. “I asked Nicole about it on the way to lunch, and you weren’t there.”
“It’s fine.” She wasn’t very convincing.
“Sorry,” Jake added, “we didn’t mean to make you wonder. We just thought it would be better to sort it out where we had some quiet. Did we miss anything?”
“Just us talking about where you guys could both be,” Mike said.
We both looked at Jessica. “Sorry,” we both said.
“Well, you’re here now,” she said, trying to sound bubbly. “So, we’re all in for Friday night.”
“Oh, great!” I said. “I hadn’t had a chance to ask Mike yet. So,” I said, looking Mike’s way, “you can go?”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” he said wryly. “It should be a lot of fun.”
Yeah, it should be a real blast. “Yeah, it should be a real blast!”
Jake and I ate quickly, since there wasn’t much time left. We mainly listened as the others talked. We responded when necessary, but we mainly just observed. Strange how so much has changed in a week’s time. I would never have figured that we would all be sitting here as a group.
The warning bell rang and we said our goodbyes. Jake had Spanish with Caryn and Meredith, so they left together. Jessica headed to her class, and Mike walked with me even though we didn’t have the same class.
“So,” he started, “what were you guys really doing?”
“I think it would be best if Jake told you.”
“I knew it! You guys hooked up, didn’t you?”
“No, we didn’t!” I said, looking around. “Don’t say that too loud, either. Jessica has a thing for Jake, as if you didn’t know. I don’t want her thinking something is going on.”
“Well, then what else could be so important?”
“Like I said, I think Jake should tell you.”
“Come on.”
“Fine. Jake’s mom came into my room this morning and told me all about Jake’s dad.”
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“Before I had a chance to tell Jake? I don’t think so. This is a big deal, Mike.”
“I know. Jake and I have been best friends for years. I would’ve been the first person he told.”
“And you probably will be, but he just found out, and we still have some information to get. I’m sure once he knows everything, he’ll tell you.”
“You mean you’re not gonna tell me anything else?”
“No, Mike. It’s not my place to tell you. It’s nothing personal, but I think he would rather you hear it from him.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll meet you guys after school. Then he can tell me.”
“He doesn’t have all of the information yet. Why don’t you let him just call you later tonight?”
“Fine. You know, this whole situation sucks. I barely see him…well,” he said, looking my way, “talk to him anymore. I wish this whole thing would just end already.”
“You and me both. Look, assuming things aren’t back to normal before then, maybe tomorrow we can both come over to your house and you guys can do your guy thing.”
“What are you going to do?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I’ll probably study. Don’t worry, I’ll stay out of your way.”
“Then why are you coming?”
“Because, it would look funny if you and ‘Nicole’ were hanging out at your house. At least if I’m there, it won’t seem so odd.”
“Alright.”
We were almost to my class by the time we finished our conversation. “You’ve got to get to class. I’ll see you later.”
“Later.”
I was more at ease now that Jake and I had talked, but my mind was still racing with all of the events of today. I was able to pay attention in class, for the most part, but time still seemed to fly. Before I knew it, school was over for the day.
Jake met me at my locker. We gathered our things and headed to my car. I miss driving my car.
“So, what was Mike talking to you about after lunch?”
“He wanted to know what we were really doing.”
“He always assumes there’s some juicy story,” Jake said, bemused.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I told him that your mom told me about your dad.”
“That’s fine. What did you tell him?”
“I wouldn’t give him details. He wants you to call him later tonight. He’s feeling a little best friend neglected.”
“Yeah, it’s weird. I don’t know about you, but I feel all out of sorts. It’s difficult trying to pick up a completely different routine than you’ve had for seventeen years. He can be obnoxious, but he’s still my best friend.”
“I know. I feel the same way. I’m used to having long conversations with the girls. Sometimes about nothing at all, but it’s still nice to be able to do it.”
“I know,” he confirmed.
“I told him we would get together after school tomorrow so you two could hang out a bit.”
“What are you going to do?” he asked.
I laughed, mainly because Mike asked the same question. “I’ll probably just study.”
We listened to the radio on the way to Jake’s house.
“So,” I started after a few minutes, “I realized last night that there is still a lot we don’t know about each other.”
“I know. I had been feeling pretty good until last night. Jessica made me realize that there’s still a lot to cover. I didn’t even think to talk about favorite music and movies.”
“Me neither. But we made it through. I tried to read your expressions.”
We spent the most of the trip discussing movies and music, and anything else we could think of that would help each other down the road.
“I’m nervous about Friday night,” I said, as we neared his house. “Jessica asks a lot of questions. When she likes someone, she wants to know everything about them.”
“I think that’s normal,” Jake said. “You know, we could try to tell her.”
“No way. She won’t believe it, and she’d probably think we made it up to get her not to like…well, you. She seems a little suspicious that we like each other. Today didn’t help at all.”
“Yeah, I saw that too,” he said. “Okay, so we won’t tell her. Look, if she asks you a question that you don’t know, make something up. Just…try to make it sound like something I’d say, and tell me later so I can back it up.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“I don’t really know another way around it,” he replied.
“Okay. I can do that. Plus, you’ll be there for most of it, so that will help.”
“Right.”
We arrived at Jake’s house and went inside. We quickly got our books out to start studying.
“So,” I asked, “are we going to go ahead with the plan we talked about earlier?”
“I guess so. It’s tough, because I may think of questions that will occur to me during the conversation. I’ll write down what I can think of for now. Hopefully this won’t be a one shot deal, and I can ask her more down the road…once we change back.”
“Yeah, whenever that may be,” I said dismissively.
“Do you think we should be spending some time trying to figure out how to change ourselves back?” he asked.
“I wouldn’t even know where to begin. It’s not like you can search the internet and find others who are sharing their experiences, and how to fix it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Did you just ask me that?” I asked, amused. He wasn’t serious, was he?
“I didn’t really mean it, but I just don’t know what to do. Should we look at astrological charts, or full moons? I mean, what?”
I let out a sigh of frustration. “Be practical. It’s not like I know, but I don’t think it has to do with moons or astrology.”
“So then, what?” he asked.
“I don’t know, Jake. Maybe we are supposed to learn a lesson. Maybe we are supposed to see what it’s like to be the other sex.”
“Well,” he said, “I’ve seen. I’m good. If that’s the case, wouldn’t we be turned back by now?”
“I don’t know. I guess so,” I said with a hint of irritation. “I don’t have the answers, Jake. I’ve thought about it, a lot, and I don’t really think we are going to find the answers. I’m hoping we just need to wait it out, and hopefully soon we’ll be back to normal.”
“I know,” he conceded. “It’s just making me a little crazy. I’m not used to having things not have a logical answer.”
I realized I had been getting worked up, so I took a deep breath before responding. “It’s making me crazy, too. But, just because we don’t know the answer, doesn’t mean a logical answer doesn’t exist.”
“I guess,” he conceded. We were silent for a minute before he spoke again. “So, what next?”
“We should study, and you should get me your list of questions,” I said.
We got to studying, and before we knew it, five o’clock had arrived. Jake handed me his list of questions. It wasn’t a very long list.
“This is all of them?” I asked.
“It’s all I can think of right now. It didn’t sound like she knew a lot about him after he left, and with him being dead, that takes a lot of questions off the table.”
“Okay, I can memorize these. Your mom is going to be home in a little less than an hour, right?”
“She should.”
“So, I’ll cook some dinner, and you can hang out in your room until she arrives.”
“Do you want some help?” he asked.
“No. If she gets home early and sees you, we’ll blow our opportunity.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
He headed back to the bedroom while I looked in the cupboard for some dinner ideas. I settled on Hamburger Helper. It took me about fifteen minutes, and I had everything simmering, so that it should be ready shortly after Jake’s mom arrived.
Once I had the food going, I headed back to Jake’s room and picked back up with my studying. Jake was sitting in the closet. When I came in he closed the closet door. Jake’s closet is not a walk-in closet, so he didn’t exactly look comfortable sitting there on the floor. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to be in there very long.
About ten minutes later, Jake’s mom arrived home. She peeked her head in and said hi.
“Hi, Mom. I’ve got dinner going. It should be ready in a bit.”
“Thank you, Hon. Did you have a good day?”
“Yes, but I spent a lot of time thinking about our conversation earlier today, and I have a few questions.”
She walked in and sat down on the bed. “Okay. What would you like to know?”
“What…did he…look like?”
“He actually looked a lot like you. He was about six foot tall and slender. A good looking man, I must say. I bet if I looked real hard, I could find an old picture for you. Maybe this weekend?”
“That would be great!”
“What else would you like to know?”
“Umm…did he have any hobbies?”
“He liked to bowl. He was an okay bowler. He wasn’t on any teams. He would just bowl for fun. He’d take you sometimes. He liked to paint too, although he seemed to do that less as time went on. He was pretty good. He could paint sceneries as well as people.”
“Do we have any paintings he did?” I asked. That wasn’t on Jake’s list, but I figured he would want to know.
“No. I’m sorry. He took most of them with him when he left, and I was so angry when he left that I got rid of most of the things that reminded me of him. I guess I didn’t really think about the fact that you might want them someday.”
“Did you try and find out any information from the lawyer about how he died?”
“I did, but I didn’t push too hard. I did call and I asked about how he died, among other questions, but he said that he was only provided a certificate of death, and that he did not have any details in the file. Something like that. The lawyer didn’t seem to want to disclose much. Your father’s side of the family didn’t have any known health issues, and he wasn’t very old, so I wouldn’t imagine it was health related.”
I was dreading asking the last question, but I felt I owed it to Jake. At least, I know I would want to know.
“So, I’ve had all of this money since I was about five, right?”
“Yes.”
“So, why have we been living so poor all of this time?”
She was quiet for a long moment. “I don’t really know how to answer that. I’ve always tried to make sure that you had the things you really needed, and I’ve always thought it important that you value the things you have. That way, when you got older, you would appreciate what you had more. Is that what you are asking?”
“Well sort of. But, I think I want to know why you don’t use the money to help you. I mean, it seems like we could have made it a little easier on you all of this time. And, if I would have known that I had a little money, I wouldn’t have been as reserved about asking for some things.”
“That money wasn’t intended for me. It’s your money, and it is to help you make a better life for yourself someday. Yes, we could have had more over the years, but I have been just fine with what we have. I’m proud of the fact that I earn enough money to keep our house, and put food on the table. If we had started spending that money a little here and a little there over the years, you would have less to start you off once you started college.”
She paused for a moment before continuing, “I can’t really say that I am sorry about that. I’ve done the best I could by you, and someday I think you will appreciate it.”
“I do appreciate it. Everything you’ve done. I just wish you would have done more for yourself.” I think that is pretty much Jake’s sentiment.
“Don’t worry about me. I am happy with my life. I have a roof over my head, and a wonderful son. I don’t need much more than that.”
I smiled at her.
“Do you have any more questions for me?”
“Not at the moment.”
“Then maybe we should get to dinner,” she said. “Oh, and if you do need money, like I’ve always said, just let me know. It’s not like I’m going to let you spend at will, but I want you to be able to have fun.”
“I could use some money for Friday night.”
“What’s happening Friday night?”
“I sort of…have a date.”
“With Nicole?” she asked with a smile.
“No. Actually, it’s with one of her friends.”
“How does Nicole feel about that?”
“I think she’s fine with it,” I said honestly. Although, I’d be much better with it we switched back by then.
“Okay. Oh, is that Nicole’s car out in front of our house?”
Uh-oh. “Uhh…yeah, probably. She was here earlier, but she and a friend went to the store together. She’s going to come by in a bit to pick it up.”
“Okay. So, let’s eat!”
“I’ll go check on the food. You probably have a few minutes till dinner.”
“I’ll go change into some pajamas then.”
She walked out of the room, and I heard her close her bedroom door. After a minute, I quietly opened the closet door, and we both quickly walked out toward the front of the house.
“Well done,” Jake whispered softly.
“Thanks,” I whispered back.
I knocked on the front door from the inside. Jake smiled, opened the door, shut it and we walked into the kitchen and started talking about school.
Jake’s mom came out a few minutes later. She was dressed in pajamas, but they were appropriate for being around others.
“Oh, hello Nicole. You’ll have to excuse my appearance. I didn’t realize you were here.”
“Hi Angela,” Jake said. “Don’t mind me. You look fine.”
“Thank you. I don’t usually dress in pajamas if I’m expecting company.”
“Please, don’t worry.”
She smiled. “Are you joining us for dinner?” she asked sincerely. I have to say, Jake’s mom is always so warm and welcoming. And it’s sincere. She never seems to talk bad about people when they’re not there. I really like her.
“Thank you, but I should probably go.”
“There’s plenty of food,” I offered. I hope I’m not missing a dynamic to their relationship here. I don’t really know how Jake’s mom feels about unannounced company. If Jake still declines, I’ll let it go.
Jake’s mom chimed in, “You’re always welcome here, Nicole. We’d love to have you.” Awww.
“Thank you. I guess I’ll stay,” he finally said. I could tell he was happy.
“Oh,” I said, just realizing, “you should probably call your mom and tell her you won’t be home for dinner.”
“Right. Thanks.”
Jake stepped out of the room to make the call and Jake’s mom walked over to me discreetly. “So, are you going to tell me how it worked out that you have a date with one of Nicole’s friends? You are spending all of your time with Nicole.”
“It’s a really long story, and it’s kind of hard to explain,” I said.
“So, you aren’t interested in Nicole anymore?”
“I don’t know.” Truthfully, I didn’t know. We’ve become really good friends, which I would have never guessed, but I had no idea if Jake still was interested in me.
“Well, are you sure Nicole’s not interested in you?”
“No?” That was supposed to be a statement, like ‘no, Nicole’s not interested in Jake.’ I don’t know what happened there. “I mean, I don’t think Nicole has any interest in me.”
“Well, just be careful. Nicole is a nice girl. You don’t want to get yourself caught up in a mess between these two girls. Make sure you’re upfront with them and look for signals.”
“Signals?” I asked.
“Just make sure you pay attention to how they are acting around you, and each other. You don’t want to hurt their friendship or yours. Jealousy can cause a lot of problems.”
“Thanks for the advice, but I don’t think it will be a problem.”
Jake walked back into the room. I wondered if he could hear our conversation, because he had a strange look on his face.
“Is everything okay, Nicole?” I asked.
“Actually, no. I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to go after all. Jake…could you walk me out to my car?”
“Sure,” I said nervously.
“Sorry, Angela.”
“No problem, Hon. I hope everything is okay.”
“I think it will be. Thank you.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked as we walked out to the car.
“Let’s get in the car and talk.”
I was getting really nervous now. We both got into the car and shut the doors. “What is it?” I asked impatiently.
“First, it sounds like he’s going to be okay, but…your brother has been in a car accident.”
I gasped. “What?”
“I guess he has a few broken ribs, and a broken leg, but…he should be fine.”
I didn’t know what to say. It was hard to be relieved that Tyler was going to be okay, knowing he was somewhere with a broken leg and broken ribs. I struggled to find my voice. “How did it happen? Where is he?”
“I don’t know the details, just that he was in a car accident, and I guess he wasn’t the one driving. He’s at a hospital in Stanford, and he’s stable.
“Your parents are flying out to be with them,” he added.
“What about…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I just started crying. Jake put his arms around me and held me.
“Your mother said I could come, or that I could stay with Jessica so I didn’t miss any school.”
“What did you say?”
“I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know him. You should be there, but…I just don’t know how that could work. I told them I would think about it and let them know when I got home, but…I really don’t think I should go. Do you?”
I was trying to talk through my tears. “No…I guess not. There’s too much that could go wrong.”
“Your mother said he was stable. I think that’s why she gave me the choice. It sounded like she was leaning toward me staying.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes and tried to gather myself. “Okay, I guess you are staying then. But, please pay extra attention to your phone. I want updates as soon as you get them…no matter what time it is. If we weren’t like this, I would definitely be there. School or no school.”
“I figured. I will let you know everything as soon as I know it. Do I…have to stay at Jessica’s?”
“No,” I answered. “She just offered that since I would normally prefer to be there instead of at an empty house. If you are okay being in my house alone…”
Jake laughed, mostly to himself. “I think we’ve gone way past what we are okay with. But, I think it’s better than being at Jessica’s house for…however long this lasts.”
“True,” I agreed. “You really should get going.”
“Are you going to be okay?” he asked.
“I think so.”
“Get yourself together before you go back inside. My mother would kind of wonder why you were crying about someone you don’t really know.”
“Okay. Talk to you soon,” I said, as I got out of the car.
Jake drove away and I went back inside as soon as I had my composure.
“Is everything alright?” his mom asked. She was sitting at the table waiting for me to eat, and she looked truly concerned.
“I don’t know. Nicole’s brother, Tyler, has been in a car accident. He has some broken bones, but they say he is stable.”
“That’s terrible. I sure hope he’s going to be okay.”
“Me, too.” Please be okay, Tyler.
We ate in silence for the first five minutes or so. I can’t speak for Jake’s mom, but I was lost in thought about my brother. We have always been really close. Being brother and sister, we’ve had our occasional disagreements, but he’s always been there when I needed him. It was eating me up that I couldn’t be there when he needed me. It was even worse that I had to keep my emotions bottled up inside of me.
Eventually, Jake’s mom broke the silence. She asked me about my day. At the moment, it was hard to recall my day. I did the best I could, and I asked her about her day. It was easier to listen to her talk than it was to talk myself.
“Let me help you with the dishes,” Jake’s mom offered.
“Thanks, but I’ve got them,” I replied. I needed to keep busy.
Jake’s mom sat down as I started washing the dishes.
“Well, even as a friend, you picked a good one there,” she said, and I smiled. “I really do hope her brother is okay.” Me too.
It was silent for a while, before she continued. “So, this girl you have a date with on Friday, what’s she like?”
For a little while, I had managed to forget about the date. “Oh, Jessica is really nice. She and Nicole have been friends for a long time.”
I wrapped up washing the dishes, and Jake’s mom got up from where she had been sitting.
“You’re a good boy, Jake. I’m very fortunate to have such a good kid.”
“Thanks Mom,” I said as I started heading to Jake’s room.
“Would you like to sit and watch some television with me for a bit? It seems like I haven’t seen you much lately.”
“Well, I guess I could for a little while,” I said, feeling a little sad for her, “but I do have a little bit more studying to do tonight. I could hang out for…maybe an hour.”
She smiled. We sat down on the couch, next to each other. We watched Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. It was actually kind of nice, but watching television with Jake’s mom made me miss my parents. I missed spending quality time with them, being myself, and just being together. Not doing anything, really. Just relaxing.
“Well,” I said finally, “I should get back to studying.”
She kissed my forehead. “Thanks for spending some time with your old mom.”
“Sure. It was nice,” I said with a smile.
I went back to Jake’s room and resumed my studying. At least, I tried to study. It was hard not to think about Tyler. Before I knew it, ten o’clock had arrived and I was tired. I hadn’t gotten as much studying done as I had hoped, but I needed to stop. I put all of my things away, and got myself ready for bed.
Usually, lately, my mind starts wandering closer to bedtime. I think about everything that has happened and try to think about what might change us back. I’m growing tired of thinking about it. Like I told Jake today, I just don’t know what caused this. I pray every night to be changed back, but if God has changed us, then I am guessing there is a reason for it, and we will change back when the time is right.
Wait, we changed on Thursday night. Maybe we will change back this Thursday night! One week. That would make sense, wouldn’t it?
Ugh…I can’t stop thinking about it. I don’t know whether it’s worse thinking about this every night before bed, or ever getting to the point where I stop thinking about it. I don’t want to be a guy for the rest of my life. I’m a girl. I like being a girl. I like boys. I...
I jumped up in bed, startled! I was disoriented, and it took me a minute to realize where I was. I was breathing heavily, gasping for air. After a few moments, I gathered myself and started putting the pieces together. I had just woken from a terrible dream. Well, more like a nightmare!
It was so vivid, I could remember every detail. I was on a date. Jessica and I were at the movies and we were there with a large group of people. In the dream, I knew who all of the people were, and supposedly they were my closest friends. As I’m recalling the dream now, I don’t know who any of them were. Just people playing the part for my dream.
So, we were at dinner, and Jessica and I were having a real nice time. I liked her, and I could tell she liked me. We had a lot in common, which surprised me in my dream. We weren’t even paying attention to our friends, because we were just lost in conversation with each other. One of the friends said something to me, and once I realized they were calling me, I looked over.
All of a sudden, all of our friends started getting up and sitting down in different seats. I looked at Jessica and she just smiled at me. I looked back, and they were changing seats again. I was embarrassed by their behavior, so I asked them why they were doing that. One of the friends replied, “I don’t know, it just seemed like a good idea.”
I told them to go back to their normal seats, and they said they couldn’t. I looked at Jessica and suggested that we leave. Jessica seemed unfazed by our friends, but agreed to leave anyway.
As we were walking to the theater, Jessica put her head on my shoulder. We held hands and talked. She became cold and I put my jacket around her to keep her warm.
We watched a horror movie, and Jessica held on to me tightly throughout the movie. Every time she got scared, she would hide her face in my chest.
As the night wound down, we found ourselves walking to her front door. I turned to face her and she turned to face me, hopeful, and then we kissed. When I opened my eyes, Jessica was gone, and I was looking at myself. Not in the mirror. I was standing right in front of…me.
“Jake, why did you just kiss me?” this other me said.
“I’m not Jake, I’m Nicole,” I replied.
“No you’re not, look,” she said pointing at my reflection in a window.
She was right, I was Jake. But no, it wasn’t right. I’m Nicole. “Something’s wrong. I’m not Jake,” I said, turning back, but instead of the other Nicole standing there, it was Jake.
“You’re right. I’m Jake,” he said.
I sighed with relief. I looked back at my reflection, expecting to see my face again, but instead, I found myself looking at Jessica. “No,” I said despairingly. When I looked back toward Jake, he was now Mike.
That’s when I woke up startled. The good news was that it was just a really bad dream. The bad news was, when I opened my eyes, I still saw Jake’s room, which meant I was still in Jake’s body.
One week in Jake’s body. I don’t know how much more I can take. I’m a little afraid I’m losing my mind. That is, if I haven’t already lost it completely.
I dragged myself out of bed, begrudgingly ready to start another day. I checked my cell phone…no messages. I showered, shaved, dressed, did my hair, brushed my teeth, made…Jake’s...bed, gathered my things and headed to the kitchen for breakfast. Jake’s mom was already up and dressed for work.
“Good morning, Jake.”
“Morning.”
“Did you sleep well?” she asked.
“Not really. I think I tossed and turned all night.”
“I’m sorry. Have you heard anything about Nicole’s brother?”
“No,” I said. “But, no news is good news, right?” She smiled thoughtfully.
I grabbed a bowl and made myself some cereal. When I was done, I rinsed my dishes and put them in the dishwasher. I grabbed my things once more, said goodbye to Jake’s mom and headed for the front door to wait for Mike.
“Have a good day at school, Hon. I hope you feel better.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
I was a little early, but I wasn’t in the mood to have a conversation with Jake’s mom this morning. Nothing against her, but I was just feeling particularly uncomfortable. It was probably from my dream and thinking about my brother, and talking to her wasn’t going to make me feel better.
I was just getting ready to call Jake when I received a text message from him. ‘Mom and Dad arrived early this morning. Tyler is sleeping…stable. See you at school.’
I sent a text back, thanking him for the update, and put the phone away.
Mike arrived about fifteen minutes later. I was so lost in thought, it seemed like it had been minutes.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi Mike.”
“Are…you okay?” he said, looking at me funny.
“Yeah, I just didn’t sleep well last night.” I didn’t think he needed the details, so I left it at that.
“Bummer,” he said as he pulled away from Jake’s house.
“Yeah, bummer.”
Mike left me to my thoughts for most of the way to school. When we were a little more than half way there, he pulled me out of my trance.
“Hey, Nicole?” he asked.
“Yes, Mike?”
He didn’t say anything.
I kind of half laughed. “Did you just want to say my name, or was there something on your mind?”
He looked at me, and then quickly turned his attention back toward the road. He looked nervous. Oh boy, what now?
“Mike?” I said, trying to coax him, but unsure if I really wanted to know.
“What is it that I do that makes me seem fake?”
Wow. I wasn’t expecting this conversation. I was actually relieved.
“Do you really want to know?”
“I asked, didn’t I?”
“The best that I can tell, you are actually really smart. But I bet you have, what, a C average, if not worse?”
His head was facing forward, but his eyes briefly turned my direction before turning back. “Something around there,” he said.
“What’s your highest grade?” I asked.
“I have an A in physics,” Mike quickly offered.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” he said, slightly offended.
“What’s your lowest grade?”
“I…I’m failing math.”
“That doesn’t even make sense. Physics is a math based science. If you’re getting an F in math, you’re not trying.”
He didn’t say anything at first. “It’s boring. It’s too easy,” he finally said.
“Well, maybe you should be in a higher level. Maybe if you tried harder, they would put you in a higher level. Just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean you should punish your future by not doing the work. I may be speaking out of turn Mike, but you seem a little confused about what you want to be. It’s sad that you are that smart, and that you aren’t doing better in school.
“What’s your grade in English?” I continued.
“I don’t know. Maybe a D. Maybe better.”
“Okay, that doesn’t surprise me.” I was trying to keep my voice low and conversational. The words were harsh enough. I didn’t want my tone to sound angry.
“Why?”
“Your grammar is terrible. It’s one thing to speak slang with your friends once in a while, but slang seems to be all you know. When I hear someone speak the way you do, my first impression is they are uneducated. I’m sure I am not the only one who thinks that way. You don’t want people assuming you aren’t that smart before they even get to know you, do you?”
“I don’t know. No, I guess not.”
“I’d hope not. The reason I said you are fake is just that. When you are actually smart, but you act dumb, I call that fake.”
He didn’t say anything. He looked like he was considering my words.
“Mike, Jake thinks you are a good friend, and I’m sure he’s right. But, you don’t need to try so hard to be friends with people. If you be yourself, everyone won’t necessarily like you, but plenty of people will. And…why would you want to be friends with people who you always have to try to impress, anyway?”
“I don’t think I’m always trying to impress people.”
“I think you may not realize how much you do try to impress people.”
Again he was quiet while he considered what I said. “Anything else?” he finally asked.
“I don’t think so. Look, nobody expects you to be perfect. Just don’t throw away the gifts you have, and don’t try so hard. You may be surprised at how much better things get for you.”
“Right. Uhh…thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” I said softly.
We pulled into the school parking lot with about fifteen minutes until class started. As we got out of the car, Jake came walking toward us. He must have just arrived.
“Hey, guys. How are you doing?” he asked. He sounded as unenthusiastic as I felt.
“Okay, how are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m fine. I didn’t sleep well last night, though.”
“That’s weird. I didn’t sleep well either. I had really weird dreams,” I said.
“Now that you mention it, I had weird dreams, too. I don’t really remember what they were about, though. What were yours about?” Jake asked.
“It was weird, and didn’t really make sense.” That was true, but I was hoping my vagueness would keep them from asking more. I had my own ideas about what my dream meant, but I didn’t want Jake and Mike chiming in about why they were both in my dreams.
“Hmm…” Jake said. “Have you been having a lot of strange dreams?”
“Actually, no. This is the first day I remember having dreams since we switched.”
“I don’t really remember having any dreams this last week either,” Jake recalled.
“You know,” I followed, “today is one week that we have been in each others’ bodies.”
“Are you saying you think that we might change back tonight?”
“I don’t know, but the thought did cross my mind. The dreams…well, my dreams had to do with us switching around.”
“Man, I wish I could remember what my dreams were about.”
“I didn’t have any dreams last night,” Mike chimed in. We both just stared at him. “Sorry.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to get our hopes up,” I said, returning to our conversation.
“Probably not, but it’s the most hopeful I’ve been in a while. It even kind of makes sense…if anything about this whole thing actually does.”
“I don’t know. At this point, I think we are looking for anything to make sense. I will admit, I am a little hopeful, too.
“So,” I continued, changing the subject, “have you heard anything new about Tyler?”
“Who’s Tyler?” Mike asked.
“Nicole’s brother,” Jake answered. “He was in a car accident last night, and…I haven’t heard anything new,” he said, turning back toward me. “Sorry.”
I smiled meekly. “That’s okay.”
We headed into school, and Mike and I said goodbye to Jake as we walked into the boys’ locker room. The nice thing about P.E. was that it usually required very little from me mentally, which was good. I had a feeling I was going to have a difficult time focusing today.
Thursdays were usually basketball days, weather permitting. The boys’ class would play inside and the girls would play outside one week, and the following week, we would switch. This week, the boys were inside.
I didn’t know how good Jake was at basketball. I wasn’t the best, and I wasn’t the worst. I actually enjoyed basketball for some reason, so P.E. would be kind of fun today. A nice distraction for my wandering mind.
Mike and I played on the same team with a few other guys. I thought I was doing pretty good shooting the ball, until Mike came over and told me I was shooting like a girl. I decided it was best not to try and embarrass Jake, as he apparently shoots better than me. After that I stuck to defense and passing the ball. Our team beat the other team, and just like that, first period was over.
We quickly showered and headed to English. I arrived in class before Jake. He was probably spending extra time on his hair today, since he probably got sweaty. Oh a day in the life of a girl. I smiled as I took my seat. Hey, I have to take some pleasure in this whole change.
Jake arrived just before the tardy bell rang. He looked my way as he quickly took his seat.
English seemed to trudge on forever. I started thinking about us changing back tonight. I told myself not to get my hopes up, but I just couldn’t help the nervous anticipation. I so wanted to be back in my body. Not to mention, I wouldn’t have to go on the date night with Jessica tomorrow. That would be…such a relief.
Ms. Early called on me at one point, and when I gave her a blank stare, she rolled her eyes and called on someone else. Jake looked back at me, with a look that said ‘what the heck is wrong with you?’ I shrugged my shoulders, and tried my best to focus for the rest of class.
As the bell rang, I gathered my things up and headed toward the exit. Jake joined me on the way to physics class.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about…”
“Me, too. I know there’s a lot to distract us both right now, but you need to try and focus. I don’t want my teachers thinking I’m unprepared.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” I said defensively.
“Alright. Are you ready for physics?”
“Yes. I’ll be better.”
We walked into physics, and Jessica was already at her seat. She smiled and said hi to me. I’m still not used to her looking at me like that. I mean, I’ve seen Jessica ogle over plenty of guys, but it’s awkward now that I’m the guy. I smiled and said hi, and then took my seat. Jake sat down next to her and they talked quietly, waiting for class to start. Mike came in just as the bell rang and took his seat.
Physics was interesting, to say the least. Jessica kept subtly turning to look at me, to the point that Mr. Korelinski asked her to face the front. She turned so red, I could actually see her ears turn pink.
The previous day’s assignment had been on speed and acceleration. Mike answered three questions during review. It’s not really so surprising that he answered three questions. He said he was getting an A in the class, after all. What was surprising was that he answered all three of the questions correctly, because usually he would answer with something funny and not necessarily on topic. And, he actually raised his hands to answer one question.
After the third answer, I looked over at him with an amused smile. He was obviously trying to show that he was making an effort. Mr. Korelinski didn’t know what to make of it either. A few students glanced his way, aware of the sudden change in Mike’s participation. Most were unfazed.
When the class bell rang, I looked Mike’s way and told him good job. He smiled.
As we caught up with Jake and Jessica, I heard Jake lean in and whisper, “Wow! Does this mean you are going to start parting your hair down the middle and wearing a bowtie?”
“Shut up,” Mike whispered back, with a smile on his face.
Jake looked at his cell phone and shook his head at me. I took that to mean there was still no word from my parents. Goodness, why aren’t they calling?
We all went our separate ways, and I made my way to Spanish class. Ms. Salazar gave us a pop quiz, which took most of the class period. I was thankful to have something else to focus my attention on. I’m pretty sure I aced it. It didn’t seem long before I was headed to lunch.
Jessica saw me as I entered the cafeteria, and she rushed to join me in the lunch line.
“Hi, Jake!”
“Hi, Jessica. How are you?” I asked cheerily.
“I’m great! Are your classes going well?”
“Yeah, they’re going pretty well. I just had a Spanish quiz, and I’m pretty sure I aced it.”
“You and Nicole, both. She aces everything.”
I smiled. If she only knew.
“So, you probably have straight A’s too, huh?” she asked.
“Well, mostly A’s. I have one B. How about you?” I already knew the answer to my question, but Jessica didn’t know that.
“Three A’s, two B’s and a C. I have a hard time enjoying government.”
“Who doesn’t?” I said, trying to make her feel better.
She smiled. We got our food and headed to the table where Mike, Jake and the other girls were already sitting. We said hi to them as we sat down.
I wouldn’t have figured, but Mike was actually having a conversation with Meredith, Caryn and Jake, and they all seemed to be getting along. Who would have guessed? Jessica continued to quiz me about all things Jake, and she continued to share the same information about herself.
It’s funny, but I’ve seen Jessica around boys before. Usually, she doesn’t let them get two words in. She actually seemed to be listening to what I had to say. This is actually good for her, but it can only be bad for me. I can only guess this means that Jessica really likes Jake. Please change back tonight. Please change back tonight. Please change back tonight.
As lunch ended, I saw Jake checking his phone for messages. He looked at me and shook his head. Nothing.
We all got up and headed to our classes. Jake, Caryn and Meredith headed their way, but Jessica joined Mike and me as we headed toward my class. Neither Mike nor Jessica had class with me, so I wasn’t really sure why they were headed in my direction.
“So, do you guys all want to hang out after school today?” Jessica asked.
Mike and I looked at each other. “We’re actually getting together at my house after school,” Mike said. “You wanna come over?”
I looked at Mike with a ‘what the heck did you do that for?’ look. I was able to change to a smile just before Jessica looked my way.
“What are you guys going to be doing?” she asked, sounding interested.
“We’re going to be studying, mainly. Mike was going to try and get Nicole to play some of his video games, though.”
“Yeah, I bet Nicole that I could school her,” Mike added.
“On what?” Jessica asked.
“It doesn’t matter. She can pick the game and I’ll take care of the schooling.”
“Well, that’s probable,” Jessica said laughing. “I don’t think she is much for video games. I’m surprised she said yes. That should be fun to watch. Meet you in the parking lot after school?”
“Sure,” Mike said.
She said goodbye and headed to class.
“Why…did you invite her to your house?” I said quietly.
“I didn’t know what you wanted me to do? What was I supposed to do, lie?”
“No, but you could have said you had plans, or just said you were getting together with me. She wouldn’t have been the wiser and you wouldn’t have had to invite her.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say. I thought you’d want me to invite her, since you guys are friends.”
“She and…Nicole…are friends. She and…Jake…have a date tomorrow night, and I am really dreading that.”
“Yeah, I didn’t think about that,” Mike said, smiling. “That still doesn’t make sense to me.”
“What doesn’t?”
“Why you said yes to going out on a date with her.”
“I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”
“Why didn’t you just tell her you were still interested in Nicole…you…whatever? You know what I mean. I mean, I know Jake still likes you, so, you could have just said that.”
“How do you know Jake still likes me?” I asked, blushing.
“I’ve known Jake a long time. He hasn’t liked a lot of girls, and he takes a while to decide he likes them. It also takes him a while to decide he doesn’t like them. He liked you last week. That wouldn’t have changed in a week.”
“He hasn’t said anything for a while,” I said. “I just figured he didn’t.”
“He’s not stupid. If you told him you weren’t interested, he wouldn’t keep telling you he was. Anyway, it just seems like you could have made everything a lot easier if you would have said you liked each other. You could have pretended to be a couple for this whole time, and then you wouldn’t be going on a date with Jessica tomorrow.”
“I…didn’t really think about that.” When this whole thing started, I wouldn’t have even considered that thought. Now that I know Jake better, it wouldn’t have been so bad to pretend that we were a couple, to save all of the other trouble. “You’re smarter than you look, Mike.” I said playfully.
“Yeah, the good looking guys never look smart,” he said, playing back.
I rolled my eyes and smiled. “See you after school.”
I took my seat in government and waited for class to begin. I hated to admit it, but Mike was right. It would have been so much easier on me if I had just told Jessica I was interested in…well, me. We wouldn’t have even had to date or anything. Just Jake being interested in Nicole would have been enough to keep Jessica from pursuing things further.
Of course, Jake might not have liked that idea. Mike said Jake is still interested in me, but I don’t know that for sure. The whole thing might be a topic he would like not to have mentioned.
Oh well, there’s no sense in worrying about it anymore. What’s done is done and, unfortunately, I have a date with Jessica tomorrow night. Unless we happen to change back tonight. I need to stop thinking that. I don’t want to get hopeful for something I don’t know is going to happen.
Government class went by slowly, and did nothing for helping get my mind off of everything. Ms. Canterbury played a video, but all it did was give me the opportunity to get lost in thought. When it was done, I didn’t remember anything about the movie. I hoped there wouldn’t be a quiz on this tomorrow.
The bell rang and I headed to calculus. One more period, and the day would be over. I hoped Jake was doing better in my classes. Aside from the Spanish quiz, I was trudging through the day.
Thankfully, calculus is usually one of my favorite classes, and the challenge usually keeps me focused. Well, usually everything keeps me focused. I’m not really one to have my mind wander in class. I would assume this was a Jake trait, but his grades don’t indicate he has a hard time focusing in class. It’s probably just the effect of being switched and feeling all out of sorts.
Fortunately we were continuing our work with matrices. I don’t know why, but matrices are fun. Sometimes, I’m such a nerd.
It was nice to have something constructive to occupy my time, but the final bell rang at last, and the school day was over.
I was a little nervous about how things were going to go after school. I had a feeling Jessica was going to distract me a lot from my studying, and worse, she would be all over me with questions. Hopefully, that would be the only way she was all over me.
Not to mention Tyler. Why haven’t my parents called with an update? It’s making me a little crazy.
Jake and Mike both met me at my locker. “Hi guys. What’s up?” I asked.
“I just got off the phone with your mother? Tyler is…”
“What?” I asked impatiently.
“Well, he’s…okay, but he’s in pretty bad shape. First of all, he is being treated, and your mother says the doctors seem hopeful for a full recovery.” I could tell he was trying to comfort me, but it wasn’t helping.
“Recovery from what?” I pressed.
“Apparently, he has a collapsed lung, and he was in a lot of pain. He’s sedated and the doctors are monitoring him closely. I guess this isn’t uncommon with rib fractures.”
“I can’t believe this is happening. I should be there.”
“If you were there,” Jake offered, “you would just be sitting there watching him with your parents. He’s not saying or doing anything right now. He’ll be okay.”
“You don’t know that for sure, Jake.”
“No, I don’t. But your mother seemed to be handling it okay. Would she be calm if she thought your brother wasn’t going to be okay?”
“I don’t know. No, probably not. I just hate that I’m not there.”
“I know. I’d want to be there, too.”
We were all silent as we started walking down the hall in the direction of the parking lot.
After a few minutes, Mike finally spoke up. “Are…we still going to my house, or did you guys want to cancel?”
I knew Mike was looking forward to getting together, and I’m sure Jake was too. It was killing me, but there wasn’t really anything I could do for Tyler. “We can still go to your house. Did you hear Mike invited Jessica?” I said, turning to Jake.
“No. How’s that going to work?” he said, looking at Mike.
“Well,” I said, “I’m still planning on studying while you guys play. We told Jessica that Mike challenged you to play video games. She knows that I don’t play video games, though, so you are going to have to be careful not to play too well.”
“Great! That’s no fun,” Jake said, obviously disappointed.
“Yeah,” Mike said to Jake, “it’s no fun beating you if you aren’t trying.”
“Well, we could all study first and maybe she’ll get bored and leave,” I said.
“Yeah, maybe we should,” Mike agreed.
Jake and I both looked at him, stunned.
“What?” he asked.
“Are you feeling okay?” Jake asked.
“Yeah, why?”
“Since when have you ever agreed to studying first, last or ever?”
“I study,” Mike said defensively.
“When?”
“Dude, I study.”
“We’ve been friends for ten years, and we never study together.”
“That’s because you don’t want to study with me.”
“That’s because you don’t study, and you want to play games.”
“He’s trying to turn over a new leaf, right Mike?” I interrupted.
“Yeah…right.”
Jake looked back and forth between us. “Okay, great! Let’s study. What if she doesn’t leave?”
“We’ll deal with that when it comes. At some point she’ll leave. If we get done studying and she’s still there, we’ll figure it out. You guys can play. Jake,” I said, turning to look at him, “you just start out asking a lot of obvious questions about how to play. Start out bad, and get gradually better.”
“Guys,” Mike interjected, “don’t you think we are worrying a little bit much about this? I mean, is she really going to care that much about how we play games? She’s probably going to be looking at Jake…well, Nicole…the whole time. She probably isn’t going to even be paying attention to us.”
“True,” I said, disappointed. Unfortunately, Mike was probably right. “Jessica is waiting in the parking lot. Let’s go find her.”
As we exited the building, Mike confirmed, “I study.”
We walked out to the parking lot, and Jessica was standing next to my car waiting for us. She smiled when she saw us coming her way.
“Hi guys, are you ready to go?”
“Sure,” I said. “Why don’t you two follow Mike and me in your cars. We’ll see you in a bit.”
We all got in our cars and headed to Mike’s house. As we were driving, I had a bad thought. “Your mom isn’t going to be there, is she?” I asked.
“I don’t think so, why?”
“It would just make for additional problems. She knows Jake pretty well, right?”
“Oh…yeah, she does. No, I don’t think she’ll be there. I think she’s working tonight.”
“You don’t know? What does she do?”
“She’s a waitress. Her schedule changes every week, so I don’t really know. I think she said she was working tonight, though.”
“Tonight, or today?” I asked.
“Well, she usually works the two to ten shift on the days she’s scheduled, so…”
“Good, because we haven’t even kind of prepared for having a conversation with your mom, and I don’t know anything about her except her name.”
“Has anyone ever told you you worry a lot?” Mike asked.
“I don’t worry a lot,” I said defensively. “You may think this is easy, but being in someone else’s body is very difficult. You have to not only learn everything about how the other person does things, but you have to know everyone they know, and learn how to perform with all of their mannerisms. The whole time you’re afraid you’re going to make some huge mistake that’s going to screw up their whole life. I don’t think I am worrying too much, Mike.”
“No. Guess not.”
We arrived at Mike’s house and everyone went inside.
It wasn’t difficult to get everybody geared for studying. Everyone but Jessica was already aware of the plan. So when we all sat down to start studying, she went out to her car and grabbed her books. Jessica isn’t a straight A student, but she’s a good student none-the-less. She wouldn’t be one to balk at studying, especially since Jake was doing it. I had counted on that.
After about two hours of mostly studying, Mike put his books away. Because he didn’t have a lot of accelerated classes, he didn’t have as much homework as Jake and I had.
“So, anyone up for some video games?” he asked.
“Not me. I’ve got more homework,” I said.
“Me too,” said Jake.
“I’ll play if you want,” Jessica said. “I’m not any good,” she quickly added.
“Cool,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
Jake and I looked at each other, smiled and went back to studying. Hopefully that would keep them busy for a while.
Unfortunately, Mike and Jessica playing made it difficult to study. After another hour, Jake gave up and decided to join in. He let Mike pretend to show him how to hold the controller, which buttons made the players jump and shoot, and what the object of the game was. They started playing and Jake let Mike easily defeat him.
Jessica giggled. “Wow, Nicole. I figured you would have done better than me.”
Jake blushed. “I’ll get better,” he said. “Just give me a minute.”
Over the next few games, Jake did get better. I could tell he was trying to hold back, but I could also tell he was progressing much faster than most people would. Especially me.
After another half hour, I gave up on studying, too. Between thinking about Tyler, and the noise these guys were making, I was having trouble focusing. I packed up my things and watched from the table.
“So, do you and Jake play video games a lot?” Jessica wondered.
“Usually we do, but not lately,” Mike said.
“How come?”
“I…I’ve been pretty busy lately,” I said, grasping. Thanks Mike.
“Hmmm…so I bet you’re pretty good, huh Jake?”
“Uhh…it depends on the game. Mike’s much better than I am.” I’m sure Jake wasn’t thrilled I just said that, but I knew where this was headed.
“So, do you want to play me?”
Yep. I knew it. “No, you guys go ahead. Nicole and Mike are having their big competition, anyway.” When Jessica wasn’t looking, I gave them both a glare that said ‘don’t you dare mess this up.’
“Oh, come on. I’m sure they don’t mind if we play one game. Do you guys?”
“Uhh…” Mike didn’t know what to say. I think he was afraid to say anything.
“I’ll play you Jess,” Jake offered.
“What, are you guys afraid to have Jake play me?” she said as she turned toward me. “You’re not afraid, are you Jake?” she said playfully.
Great. This wasn’t going to go well.
“Okay,” I said, trying not to sound disappointed, “but I’ve never played this game, so take it easy on me.”
“I thought you said you played this with Mike a lot,” she countered.
“Mike and I do play a lot, but not this.”
“Well, let’s play something you’ve played before.”
Goodness, Jess! “That wouldn’t make it very fair, would it? This one’s fine. Let’s just play it.”
“Okay,” she agreed. Finally.
I’m not big on video games. I’ve rarely played any, and I’ve never used this system. So, how do I look like I’ve done this before, when I don’t even know how to hold the controller? I mean, it seems like a simple thing, but I don’t know.
“Is anyone getting hungry?” I asked, stalling.
“Yeah, I am,” Jake helped.
“Mike, could you get us some snacks?” I said, subtly motioning toward Jessica, hoping he would get what I was saying.
“Sure. Jessica, you wanna help?”
“Okay,” she said as she followed him into the kitchen, looking behind her at me and Jake.
Once they were in the kitchen, Jake quietly gave me the quick rundown. I didn’t know much, but at least I could now hold the controller and move and shoot. This was going to be interesting.
Mike and Jessica brought snacks back into the room. I thanked them and Jessica went right to the other controller.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
“As I’ll ever be,” I said, grabbing a quick snack.
We didn’t get very far before Jessica paused the game. “Are you giving me chances?”
“No,” I replied.
“Because I don’t want chances.”
“I’m not giving you chances! I’m just having trouble getting my bearings. Give me a minute…I’ll figure it out.”
I’m not sure really why I said that. It must have been the competitive juices flowing through me, because a minute wasn’t going to help me. As Jessica restarted the game, I looked back and saw Mike grinning wide and Jake blushing. My face, his expression…and I could tell he was a little mortified at my inability to play.
I refocused my attention to the game and Jessica beat me easily.
“Let’s go again,” I said. Again with the competitive juices. Just because I’ve never played before, doesn’t mean I don’t want to win.
Surprisingly, I did better the second game. She barely beat me.
“Okay, I’m getting the hang of this. One more,” I said, determined.
The third game was close, but I beat Jessica. “Yes!” I said, a little too enthusiastically. I realized that probably seemed out of place so I quickly added, “Sorry, I got a little carried away there. Good games, Jessica.”
“Good games,” she said, but she wasn’t exactly happy. I think she liked that she was beating Jake.
Jake chimed in to try and lighten the mood of the moment. “You did really good Jessica, considering you just played for the first time today. You did good too, Jake,” he added, trying to make us both feel better.
We stopped for a minute to have another snack. After that, I relinquished the controller to Mike, so he could play Jake again. By now, Jake was no longer pretending he couldn’t play, and he was beating Mike as much as Mike was beating him.
“Dude, nice!” Mike said after Jake beat him one last game.
“Did you just call Nicole dude?” Jessica asked Mike.
“Uhh…I mean, Nice job Nicole,” he corrected.
“I should probably get home,” I said, changing the subject.
“I can take you home,” Jessica said.
I had a feeling she would say that. “Okay, thanks Jess. I’ll see you guys later,” I said, turning toward Jake and Mike.
“Yeah, I should go too,” Jake said. I was hoping he’d say that.
Jessica and I got in her car and I gave her directions to Jake’s house. I decided it would be best to try and control the conversation on the trip, to try and keep from getting myself in an uncomfortable situation.
“This is a nice car,” I started. “How old is it?”
“Thanks. It’s, what, six years old?” she said, trying to work the years out in her head.
“It’s a Camry, right?” I asked.
“Right. You know cars?”
No, I just know her car. I’ve been in it enough. “A little. I wouldn’t call myself a car expert, or anything. I have a friend who has one of these, so it seemed familiar.”
“Oh yeah? Who?”
Uhh… “Nobody you know. His name is…Sean.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah. So, did you get it new?” I already knew the answer, but again, I was trying to control the conversation.
“No. My dad got a good deal on it from a rental car place. It was only a year old when I got it. It had a lot of miles on it, but it was in good shape. Overall, it’s been a pretty good car.”
“Well, it’s really nice. You take good care of it.”
“Thanks.”
“Sure. So…what do you like to do for fun?” I asked.
“I usually like to get together with Nicole and Caryn and Meredith. We do a lot of things together.”
“Turn left at the light.”
“Got it.”
“So,” I continued, “like what?”
“Like…we like to go to the mall, as you know. We like to go to the movies, and bowl, and lots of times we just get together at one of our houses and hang out…talk about boys,” she said looking at me and smiling.
Uh-oh, a trap. We’re almost to Jake’s house, Nicole. Find a different subject. “Are you a good bowler?”
“No. We just go to hang out. Meredith is a pretty good bowler. So is Nicole. The rest of us just try not to throw it in the gutter. We still have fun, though. Maybe we could go bowling together sometime.”
“Yeah, that sounds…great.”
“I’m looking forward to tomorrow night,” Jessica quickly got in.
“Yeah…me too!” I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. “It…should be fun.” Come on, we’re almost there.
“Yeah, I think so too.”
Finally, we pulled up to Jake’s house. “So, this is it, huh?”
“Yep. This is my place.”
“It seems nice.”
“Thanks. So, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, quickly getting out of the car.
“Oh, okay. Bye Jake.”
“Bye.”
As I was walking into the house, I noticed that clouds were coming in. It looked like a storm was on its way. I love the rain, especially since it rarely happens here.
Jake’s mom wasn’t home yet. Everything in the house was silent. It felt strange. I think this was the first time that I have been in Jake’s house when nobody else was here. It was kind of eerie. I took my things to Jake’s room, and headed to the kitchen to make some dinner. After looking around for a few minutes, I finally found some hamburger patties in the freezer. That sounded kind of good, so I decided that would be our dinner.
Jake’s mom got home at five forty-five. She seemed to be in a particularly good mood.
“Hi, mom,” I said cheerfully.
“Hi, Hon. How was your day?”
“It was good. How was yours?”
“It was pretty good. Everything seemed to just go right today.”
“That’s great!” I said. I wish I could say the same.
“Yeah. It’s always nice when that happens. So, what did you do today?”
“The usual. Classes went well. A couple of us went to Mike’s house after school.”
“Oh yeah? What did you guys do?”
“We studied for a couple of hours, and then we played video games for a while.”
“You studied at Mike’s house?”
“Yeah.”
“So, maybe I’m wrong, but you never study at Mike’s house, do you?”
“No, not usually.”
She looked at me for a moment. “So, are you going to tell me what brought that on, or is it a secret?” She was playfully teasing.
“No, it’s not a secret,” I said, laughing. “I think Mike has decided to do better in school. At least, he’s been trying harder as of late.”
“That’s great! How long has this been going on for?”
“About…well, today,” I said, smiling.
“Well, better late than never. Hopefully he sticks with it.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t know what else to say. I hoped he’d stay with it, too.
We sat down to dinner. I had added some green beans to the meal. Nothing fancy, but it did the job. Jake’s mom and I talked more about our days while we ate dinner. I’ve become comfortable talking to her, like a second mom.
Realizing this made me a little sad, because it made me think about how little I’ve seen of my parents lately. It made me even sadder to think about Jake, and how he doesn’t even have a dad. At some point I’ll get my dad back. Jake won’t. I wondered if he was enjoying having my dad around or whether it even mattered to him.
Lots of teenagers would love to have a break from their parents. Not me. Even when I disagree with them, I never get so upset that I don’t want to be near them for any real amount of time. And now, knowing they are there with Tyler, and I can’t be…
I was brought out of my brief trance by Jake’s cell phone vibrating. It startled me a bit and Jake’s mom noticed.
“What’s that? Did you get a cell phone?” she asked.
I didn’t know how to respond. Tell her yes, or lie? Would she be upset if Jake had a cell phone?
“Uhh…yeah. Nicole got a new phone and gave me her old one. It’s nothing fancy, and it’s nice because it’s a pre-paid phone. That way I can put a specific number of minutes on it and when they’re out, they’re out,” I said shrugging. “Is that okay?” I added, hoping to diffuse a problem before it started.
“Well, I guess so. Is it okay with her parents that she gave you a phone?”
“Oh yeah. She was just going to get rid of it, so she figured it made sense to give it to me.”
“Well, okay. Leave me the number. It’ll be nice to have another way to get a hold of you.”
“Sure,” I answered.
I looked down at the phone. There was a text message from Jake. “I’ve been thinking…tell my mother I would like to get a car with some of my money.”
My face must have had an interesting look on it, because Jake’s mom chimed in, “Is everything okay?”
I gathered myself and put the phone away. “Yeah, I’m fine, why?”
“You just got this strange look on your face.”
“Huh. No, I’m fine.”
I got up and started washing the dishes. Once I finished, Jake’s mom thanked me for making dinner, and I headed to Jake’s room.
Once I made it to Jake’s room, I answered the text. “Why now? Do we really need to add more to everything going on? Things could be back to normal tomorrow, and then you could ask her yourself.”
It took him about five minutes to respond back. When he did, he called. “I just think the moment is right now. She has been keeping this in for a long time, and she decided to tell me about this now. I may have a better chance of her saying yes if a bunch of time hasn’t passed.”
“You’re playing on her sympathies,” I said.
“I don’t really think that’s fair. I think it’s reasonable to ask to have some of the money go toward me having a car. Don’t most people ask for things when they have the best chance of getting the response they want?”
“I guess so, but Jake, can’t you just wait until you change back?”
“If I knew when that would be, I could answer that. What if it’s three weeks from now?”
“Then I will be doing without a car until then.”
“Yes, but this is less about getting a car now than it is getting her approval now. I just want to open up the conversation so she can think about it.”
“Okay, but I don’t want to do it tonight. Wait until tomorrow. That way, if you change back, you can ask her yourself.”
“Fine, but if we don’t change back, will you ask her tomorrow?”
“You forget…I have a date tomorrow night. If I can when I get home, I will. But we need to discuss how you think this conversation will go, and what argument you want me to make for you.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I think.”
“Talk to you tomorrow. Good night.”
“Good night,” I said, and then hung up.
Great. As if I didn’t have enough to think about. Now I’ve got to possibly negotiate a car for Jake. I mean, I understand where he is coming from. I miss my car. It would be nice not to have to depend on Mike for transportation. Still…I just don’t think this is the right time.
It occurred to me that I had not done any laundry since…well, let’s just say I needed to do laundry. I sorted Jake’s dirty clothes and started with colors. I started the washer and went back to Jake’s room to finish the studying I was too distracted to finish at Mike’s house.
I studied for a while longer, and then I decided to try and relax. I got onto Jake’s computer, got on the internet and went to a Sudoku website. I don’t know why, but Sudoku puzzles relax me. I like the challenge, and they’re fun.
After an hour or so of that, I got off the internet. Jake has a modest music collection. I hadn’t really gone through it up to this point. Usually, I play music a lot. I love music. It makes me happy and I feel free when I sing. Singing makes me feel more…alive.
We’ve had so much going on since the switch that I haven’t sang much at all. I still don’t really know what kind of a voice Jake has.
As I started looking through his music, I realized we had very similar tastes in music. Most of the music I recognized, and most of it was music from the last few years.
One CD was from 1987. The album was called All That Jazz and it was by a group called Breathe. I wasn’t familiar with them. I wasn’t born in 1987, and it wasn’t exactly classic music. My music taste is pretty eclectic. I like a lot of modern rock and pop, but I also like Journey, Queen, Elvis, Billy Joel, Michael Jackson…My parents have exposed me to a lot of music from their generation and earlier. This group I hadn’t heard of.
I put the CD into Jake’s computer CD drive and started listening. The first couple of songs were okay, but I found out why he had the album after the fourth song. “Hands to Heaven” was the title of the fourth song. It was beautiful.
I played it again and again, memorizing all of the words and notes until I had the phrasing just right.
It was getting close to time for bed. I pulled the colors, which were now in the dryer, out and took them into Jake’s room to fold them.
I could hear thunder outside in the distance. We so rarely get rain here, that I was kind of hoping we would get some. I love hearing the rain at night, and the smell of the rain in the morning air. I can only hope I’ll wake up tomorrow morning in my own bed and have rain when I go outside. I was trying real hard not to get my hopes up for either to happen.
I had finished listening to the Breathe album. There were quite a few songs I really liked. I decided I’d have to get it myself, once we’d changed back.
I turned off Jake’s computer and got ready for bed. Jake’s mom had already gone to bed, so I turned out the light and crawled into Jake’s bed. I lay awake in bed for a while, thinking about tomorrow.
It’s so hard to plan for a day when there are so many variables that could come into play. I thought about Tyler, switching back, asking Jake’s mom for a car, going on a date with Jessica, what I would do if I had to kiss Jessica, the rain…
I slowly returned to consciousness before I opened my eyes. I could hear rain on the window. I’ve always loved the rain. We never get rain here, so the day seemed to have promise already.
As I opened my eyes, everything slowly came into focus. Pink. Yellow. Flowers. Still not my room. I had tried really hard not to get my hopes up. Still, I was disappointed. At least I’ll get to enjoy the rain.
I dragged myself out of bed, went to the bathroom, cleaned up and then headed to the closet to get my clothes. After putting my nightshirt in the appropriate laundry basket, I grabbed the clothes Nicole had set aside for today. Hmmm…a skirt and blouse. I didn’t know if Nicole was going to like this, but I made a judgment call to wear jeans and a t-shirt. The rain was going to make it cold, and it was a little windy. I didn’t really want to deal with a cold draft all day. Plus, I kind of figured jeans would weather the storm better.
Once I got everything together, I headed back to put the clothes on the bed. Next, I needed to find a bra. I had picked out a forest green shirt, because it seemed that a lighter shirt might be a bad idea in rain. A darker bra would probably be better, but Nicole didn’t have any colors that seemed close enough to green. It came down to black or white, and since the shirt didn’t seem to be see-through, I went with white. It’s amazing the decisions a girl has to make, just to leave the house. As a guy, I’ve never once thought about the color of my underwear. Actually, there’s nothing to really choose from since all of my underwear is exactly the same. Nicole seems to have a different color for every day of the week, and then some.
Once I put the bra on, I went over to do my hair. Definitely a ponytail day. Anything else would just get wrecked by the rain. I couldn’t help feeling at this exact moment like I was starting to become just a little too much of a girl. The thought scared me a little. At what point would I stop thinking like a guy altogether? Would I ever get back to who I was, or was this what I could expect for my life going forward?
Once I had my ponytail looking decent, I went to the bed and put the rest of my clothes on. Last thing to do was to put on makeup.
I’ve become better at putting the makeup on over the past week. Not because it looked a whole lot better, but because it gradually has taken less time to put it on. This morning it took me less than thirty minutes. I don’t know how long it took Nicole on average, but that was pretty good for me. I was just glad Nicole didn’t wear a whole lot of makeup. Since we’ve been switched, I’ve become more aware of how much makeup some girls wear. There were a handful of girls who, if I had switched with them, I would have been in big trouble. I would have never been able to get out of the house.
Once I had myself put together, I put socks and tennis shoes on, grabbed my things and headed downstairs. I made myself some cereal for breakfast. It was strange being in Nicole’s house all alone. I don’t mind being alone. In fact, that’s kind of nice. But…it’s just weird being in her house alone.
I couldn’t help but think about Tyler, and Nicole, and how hard it must be for her not to be there with her family. I sure hope Tyler recovers okay. Nicole’s father had left a message on her phone this morning. I hadn’t noticed until now. The message said Tyler had improved some. Not out of the woods, but improving. I guess that’s good news. I texted the information to Nicole as soon as I got it.
It was nice listening to the rain pouring outside while I ate. Rain is so peaceful. I could listen to it all day, not that I would likely have the chance. When we get rain, it’s usually just enough to make all of the cars in town dirty. I’ll enjoy it while it’s here.
It wasn’t long before I got a text message back from Nicole. “Thanks for the news.”
“No problem,” I replied.
“So, have you ever driven in the rain?” she followed.
“Yes I have,” I responded back, “but I’ll be extra careful in your car.”
“Thank you.”
The text made me realize I should leave more time to get to school. People around here didn’t know how to drive in rain, and it would probably take longer than it already should take. I quickly finished eating, rinsed and put my dishes in the dishwasher and headed to the car.
On my way to school, I thought about the day ahead. It ought to be interesting. I was going to be present to see myself on a date in the third person. As weird as that would be for me, I was glad I wasn’t in Nicole’s shoes. Or worse, I was glad not to be on a date with a guy. The thought alone gave me the willies.
The drive to school ended up being uneventful, which I was thankful for. It wouldn’t have mattered whether it was my fault or not, Nicole would not have been happy with me if I had gotten into an accident in her car. Plus, it would have only added to her stress level today, and I didn’t want to do that. I had a feeling she was going to be a little on edge all day.
There was still about thirty minutes until school started, and since it was raining, I decided to sit in the car and listen to music while I watched the rain dance on the windshield. The sky was gray for as far as I could see. It occurred to me that we were probably going to have a full day of rain after all. Nice.
Mike and Nicole showed up at my…well, Nicole’s car about ten minutes later. They knocked on the windows and I unlocked the doors to let them in.
“Wow, when was the last time we had rain like this?” Nicole asked.
“I know! It looks like it’s going to be here for a while,” I said.
“Yeah, it seems like usually we have about ten minutes of rain and that’s it,” she agreed.
“So, what,” Mike interjected, “are you just sitting here watching the rain?”
“Kind of. It’s not like we get rain every day, so I thought I’d enjoy it.”
I looked over at Nicole, who had sat down in the front passenger seat. I couldn’t really read the expression on…well, my face. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Nervous about tonight or is it something else?”
“I don’t really know. I guess…well, yes, I’m definitely nervous about tonight. But, I’ve just been thinking about us.”
“What do you mean?” I said, trying to sound casual.
“I mean, so much for our theory about last night. I was trying really hard not to get my hopes up, but it seemed to make sense, if any of this makes sense anyway, that we would change back last night. If we aren’t changing back after a week, then what? A month? A year? Ever? No offense, but I don’t really want to be you forever.”
“None taken. I don’t want to be you forever, either.”
“It’s just got me a little down, and I’m trying not to think about it, but it’s a little difficult not to right now.”
“I know, I’ve been thinking about it a lot too. I mean, how far are we going to have to take this? When I’ve thought about getting married someday, I never imagined actually being the one walking down the aisle.”
“You think about getting married?” Mike and Nicole asked together.
“Yeah, doesn’t everybody?”
“Dude,” Mike said, “I’m seventeen. Why would I want to think about getting married?”
“It’s not like I’m thinking about getting married soon. It’s just, I think about the future and when I do, I see myself getting married and having a family. It gives me something to look forward to.”
“I think that’s great,” Nicole said. “I…I just didn’t expect that most guys would think about their future like that.”
“Most don’t,” Mike said, laughing.
“Well, Mike, let’s hope you aren’t the gauge for how the average guy thinks,” Nicole quipped. “We should get to class.”
As we hurried through the parking lot, Nicole picked the conversation back up. “You know, the worst part about all of this, if it’s even possible to pinpoint a worst part, is that I can’t even spend all of my effort thinking about Tyler. I’m really worried about him. I wish I could be there, but instead, I have to focus on going on a date with my best friend.”
I didn’t know what to say to Nicole. I felt bad for her. I mean, I was experiencing a lot of the same problems, but I couldn’t imagine if…my mother were in the hospital right now. “I’m…sorry. I know it’s hard.”
Nicole looked at me with an appreciative smile. My smile, but still a little different. Not much, though.
We headed into the school, Mike and Nicole headed their way, and I went mine.
This past week, I have been one of the first, if not the first, people in the locker room. Today, there were already plenty of girls inside. Jessica was one of them.
“Hi Jess,” I said.
“Hey, Nikki!” she said very enthusiastically. “We don’t have to dress out today because of the rain. They are showing a movie in the cafeteria instead.”
“Great,” I said, trying to hide my lack of excitement.
Usually P.E. has been an opportunity for me not to think about everything going on. With an hour of watching a movie, I wouldn’t have that distraction. Fortunately for Nicole, the boys would probably be playing something in the gym since we were in the cafeteria.
Ms. Pierce put Groundhog Day on for us to watch. I had never seen the movie before, and I had a feeling most of the class hadn’t seen it either. There was a lot of grumbling in the class when she announced the movie she was putting on.
It was actually pretty good. This real arrogant guy, Phil, finds himself stuck reliving the same day over and over again. At first, he tries anything to keep from living the day over again. Then, he realizes that he could use it to his advantage by using what he learned the previous day to manipulate the same events the next day, and try to get his producer, Rita, to fall for him. At the point where Phil decided to try and use the time to learn new things, like ice sculpting, Ms. Pierce turned the movie off.
I don’t know about most of the class, but I was disappointed. I wanted to know how it ended. The movie was really funny. If I had to guess, I would bet that Phil learned how to be a better person in the end, and he probably got the girl. At some point, he probably stopped reliving the same day. I’ll have to watch it later and find out. I want to learn how to ice sculpt.
The good news was that the movie did manage to keep my mind off of things. On to second period.
I got to English before Nicole, since I didn’t have to shower today. As I was waiting for class to begin, I was thinking about the movie, and how it related to Nicole and me. I mean, we weren’t reliving the same day, but in a way it’s still the same. Every day we wake up to find that we still aren’t changed back, and every day we have to try and move on and live through the day. As much of a jerk Phil started out as, I still could relate to his situation and I still felt sorry for him.
I must have been in a trance, because all of a sudden the tardy bell rang. I jumped a little in my seat. I looked behind me and Nicole was in her seat. She was looking at me, a little concerned, so I smiled at her and turned around. I completely missed the part where she came into the classroom and walked past me.
English passed by at a steady pace. Ms. Early was reviewing for an exam next week. We were covering Dickens. Half of the exam was going to have questions covering a few of his works we had covered this quarter. The second half of the exam was take home. We would have to compose a final chapter to one of Dickens’ works. We needed to change the ending. It could be changed to anything we wanted, but we would be graded on how well it transitioned from Dickens’ work to our ending, originality and relevance to the story. We were supposed to follow the writing style of the novel.
Maybe it was the nerd in me, but I thought the exam sounded kind of interesting. It would be kind of fun to try and come up with a new ending to a classic novel. I’d have to think about which novel I wanted to choose.
The bell rang and I packed up my things. Nicole walked up to my desk and waited while I finished packing up.
“So, what do you think of the exam?” she asked.
“I think it could be interesting? Do you know which novel you are going to choose?”
“Not really. It probably seems silly, but I was thinking about A Christmas Carol. I’m not sure how I would want it to end differently, though. How about you?”
“I don’t really know. There are a couple I am thinking of, but I have to work out how I would change the ending too. I like the idea though. It could be fun.”
We headed to physics class, where Mike and Jessica were already seated. Mr. Korelinski gave us a pop quiz on speed, velocity and acceleration, which I was pretty sure I aced. Judging from the look on Mike and Nicole’s face, I think they aced it too. Jessica didn’t look as confident.
“How’d you do?” I asked Jessica as I packed up my things.
“I don’t know. I think I did okay. What’s the formula for acceleration again?”
“Change in velocity divided by the change in time,” Mike said, joining our conversation.
“Okay,” Jessica said, a little disappointed, “then not quite as good as I thought. That means I missed question two, seven, eleven and…eighteen, I’m guessing.”
“That would still be a B, Jess,” I said. “That’s not bad.”
“No, I guess not,” she said as we headed out of the classroom. “You guys all probably aced it, though.”
Nicole and I didn’t say anything. Mike chimed in after a minute. “Yeah, but your grades are still probably better than mine overall, so don’t feel bad.”
“Thanks,” Jessica said, flashing a smile at Mike.
We all said our goodbyes as we headed to our lockers. Jessica was already seated when I arrived in calculus. It’s interesting…Jessica is in physics and calculus. She’s not the best student, but she’s obviously not the worst. She gets decent grades. I wonder if she’s just trying not to be the smartest girl in school. Like Mike, but much less drastic.
In calculus, Ms. Clark also gave us a pop quiz. What’s up with all of the Friday love? The good news was that, so far, it had been quite easy to keep my mind off of everything else.
As the bell rang, Jessica looked over at me. “So, another A I suppose?” she asked.
I smiled. “How did you do?”
“I think I did okay. I’m a little distracted today.”
“How come?”
“I’m just nervous about tonight.”
“Me too.”
“Why are you nervous?” she asked.
Uh-oh. I guess I shouldn’t have said that. “I…I just mean that I’m nervous for you.”
She looked at me funny, but didn’t say anything more on the subject.
We headed to lunch and got in line for our food. Everyone else was at the table when we made it over. For a group of people who couldn’t seem to stand each other a week ago, they sure seemed to be getting along now.
“Hi guys. How’s it going?” I asked.
“Good!” They all said, pretty much at the same time.
“We were just talking about tonight,” Caryn said. “It should be fun!”
“So,” Mike chimed in, “where are we going to go for dinner?”
“Where do you want to go, Jake?” Jessica asked.
“Oh, I don’t know. Where do you all want to go?” Nicole replied.
“Do you want burgers or Italian or Chinese?” Meredith asked. “Are we doing formal or casual?”
“Let’s do casual!” Nicole offered, a little too enthusiastically.
“How about the Pasta House?” Mike offered. “It’s close to the theater and it’s pretty casual.”
“That sounds good to me,” I agreed.
Everyone else seemed agreeable. “Okay, Pasta House it is,” Jessica said. “Do we want to meet at six?”
“What time’s the movie?” Caryn asked.
“Seven forty,” Jessica said. “That should give us enough time to eat and get to the theater, right?”
Everyone seemed in agreement. There was a pause, and then people broke into their own conversations. Jessica turned toward Nicole, who was eating and staring out across the cafeteria.
“So, I’ll pick you up at about five thirty, Jake?” Jessica asked.
“Oh, uhh…yeah, that would be great. Thanks.”
“Sure. I’m looking forward to tonight. The movie’s supposed to be pretty funny.”
“Yeah, the previews looked pretty funny,” Nicole said.
There was another pause in the conversation, and Jessica turned my way and shifted gears. “So, whose house are we getting together at tonight?”
Mike, who had been talking to Caryn and Meredith, perked up when Jessica asked the question. “Huh?”
“Not you, silly. The girls. We usually spend the night at one of our houses on Friday nights. My house is available,” Jessica offered.
“Sounds good to me,” Caryn said.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” Meredith offered.
I didn’t know what to say. I looked at Nicole. I think she gave me a subtle nod as she looked down.
“Sure,” I said. “That’s fine by me, too.”
The rest of lunch didn’t seem to last very long. We talked about our classes and how most of us seemed to be getting a lot of quizzes or tests today.
It was still raining outside, but it didn’t seem like most of the group shared my enthusiasm for the rain. I knew Nicole liked it, but for as little as we get it, nobody else seemed to be enjoying it.
“Well,” Jessica said as we packed up to go to our next class, “I just hope it dries up by tonight.”
“How come?” I asked, apparently foolishly.
“Because,” she said giving me a ‘how could you not already know the answer to that question’ glare, “I don’t want it to mess up my hair.” She gave Nicole a sideways glance.
“Oh, right,” I said, smiling. I have to admit…there have been some times, during this switch, where it has been kind of fun to be on the other side and see the things that girls sometimes do. They can be so funny.
Once again we said our goodbyes as Caryn, Meredith and I headed to Spanish class. Ms. Contreras didn’t have any pop quizzes for us. We spent the class time reading a story in Spanish. We took turns reading paragraphs out of the story. We didn’t really need to even remember what we read. It was more of an exercise on pronunciation.
The class bell rang, I said goodbye to Caryn and Meredith and then I headed to government class.
It seemed like I could watch each second of class tick off the clock. Government was excessively boring today. Everything was review of what we had been studying the last several weeks. I wasn’t even in this class a week ago, and I’m not missing a beat. Of course, I do have the same teacher, normally in fifth period, but it’s pretty apparent she doesn’t change it up from class to class.
Personally, I think Ms. Canterbury had her sights set on the weekend already. We could have skipped the class today, and I would have been in just as good of shape.
Normally I’m not like this, but I was already packed and ready to go when the final bell rang. I quickly headed to my locker to gather all of my books for the weekend.
Mike and Nicole met me at my locker as I was shutting the door.
“Boy, I’m glad to see this day end,” I said. “If I had fallen asleep in government, it would have been an improvement today.”
“If only the day were over,” Nicole said.
“It’ll be okay,” I offered. “At least it won’t just be the two of you.”
“Yeah, maybe that should be making me feel better right about now, but it’s not.”
“Maybe,” Mike said, “but you’d feel a whole lot worse if it were just the two of you.”
“True,” she said.
“You know,” I said, “you could have used my mother’s car so you could have driven.”
“Well, that’s good to know now. That bit of information would have been really good a few days ago.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know this was going to happen. It didn’t occur to me to tell you until today.”
“Well, something to look forward to for our next date,” Nicole said sarcastically.
“Look, just stay together with the group. It’s not like a whole lot can go wrong if we are all there. She’s not going to attack you…right?”
“No, probably not,” she conceded.
“Hey,” Mike said, “if you want I can offer to take you home tonight. I’ll just ask if you want to hang out at my house afterward.”
“That would be great! Thanks, Mike,” she said, seeming relieved.
“Sure. So, what are we going to do in the meantime?”
“I don’t know,” Nicole replied. “Normally, I would get all of my studying done for the weekend, but I’m not sure I will be able to focus right now. I’m a little ramped up.”
“Why don’t we just go to my place and hang out,” Mike offered. “Then, one of us can take you to Jake’s house before Jessica picks you up.”
“Okay,” she said.
We started heading out to our cars when Mike broke the silence. “You know, it’s too bad that Jessica has a thing for you, Jake. I could totally go for her. She’s pretty cute.”
“Really?” Nicole asked. “That’s funny. A week ago, I would never have thought she would have gone for either of you, but now…I could kind of see her being into you, Mike. Actually, I could see her with you a lot more than I could see her with Jake.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“I just mean that, now that I’ve gotten to know you both better, I think Mike and Jessica have more in common than you and Jessica do. Another bit of information that would have been good a few days ago. We could have probably set the two of you up, and I wouldn’t be a wreck today.”
“Yeah, well, if you two don’t get married, maybe I’ll ask her out,” he said with a laugh.
“Funny, Mike,” I said.
“Yeah,” Nicole added, “real funny.”
“Hey, I have my moments.”
Mike and Nicole both drove in his car, and I followed in Nicole’s car to get to Mike’s house. I was sure Nicole would have preferred to drive with me, but it seemed more appropriate to have Jake ride with Mike.
It was actually kind of a nice distraction for the next couple of hours. Mike and I got to play video games for most of the time. Nicole actually tried a couple of games too. She probably figured she should be better if she’s going to be playing games as me in the future. At least, that’s what I was hoping she was thinking.
At a little before five, Nicole’s mother called to update us on Tyler. He continued to improve, which we were all thankful for. We kind of have our hands full tonight without having to worry about Tyler, too.
After that, we decided we should get Nicole to my house. Nicole informed me that I needed to go to her house and get clothes for the sleepover at Jessica’s house tonight. I would need night clothes and clothes to change into tomorrow morning. She told me she usually showers at Jessica’s house, so the routine would be pretty much the same as at her house. She wrote down a list of things to bring and directions to Jessica’s house.
“Good luck,” she said. “Just remember, the less you say, the less trouble you can get into. If you get in a pinch, go to the bathroom and text me.”
“Right. See you guys in a little while,” I said.
I drove off to Nicole’s house while Mike took Nicole to my house. When I got inside, I walked straight up to Nicole’s room and packed up the list of items that Nicole gave me. I could have probably figured it all out on my own, but I was still happy to have the help.
Once I had everything together, I headed downstairs and out to the car. I had about thirty minutes to get to the restaurant. I figured it would only take about fifteen to twenty minutes to get there from here, but it was still raining, and I figured it would be good to have the extra time.
Mike and Caryn were the first ones to arrive at The Pasta House. I arrived after them, and then Meredith showed. Finally, Jessica and Nicole arrived.
Nicole looked nervous, like she didn’t know what to do. Jessica was fine, walking close to Nicole with a big smile on her face.
“Hi guys!” she said enthusiastically.
Everyone smiled. Nobody had made reservations, so we had to wait about ten minutes to get a table, which wasn’t too bad considering it was a Friday night. Fortunately, Mike had put his name in when he arrived. He had apparently already been waiting for about fifteen minutes.
Dinner was interesting, to say the least. I’m not sure Caryn and Meredith would have felt the same way, but they weren’t seeing things from my point of view.
It started with Jessica asking Nicole what she was going to have. Nicole looked at me before deciding on the lasagna. As a matter of fact, it seemed like Nicole looked at me after every question or decision she needed to make. I couldn’t say anything, but I was trying to give her a look that said ‘just relax and do what you want.’
When Nicole said she was going to have the lasagna, Jessica decided that sounded good and ordered the same thing. Nicole ordered iced tea to drink and so did Jessica.
While we were waiting for our food, Jessica kept trying to start conversations with Nicole. I could tell Nicole was trying to be conversational, but she hesitated before every answer. I’m sure she was trying to be careful not to say the wrong thing, but she just ended up looking really uncomfortable.
“So,” Jessica started, “have you ever been here before?”
“Oh, uhh…yeah. I’ve been here a couple of times before, with my…mom.”
Actually, I’ve never been here before, but it’s not like Jessica is going be verifying this somewhere later. I wasn’t really worried about how Nicole answered these types of questions. She seemed worried, though.
“So, what’s your favorite thing here?” Jessica continued.
“Uhh…the lasagna.”
“Oh, right. That makes sense.”
“Is lasagna your favorite, too?”
“Well, no…my favorite is the fettuccine, but I thought I’d try the lasagna tonight. It sounded good when you ordered it.”
I’ve always thought first dates were awkward. Not that I’ve been on a lot of them. But, from what I’ve noticed, people just seem unnaturally uncomfortable. They try so hard to say and do the right thing because they are afraid the other person won’t like them.
If people could just be themselves, there would probably be a lot more successful first dates. Of course, Nicole can’t be herself, since she’s trying really hard to be me. So, this date was kind of shot from the beginning.
The food arrived, which was a relief. They both ate without any real issues. Nicole seemed a little more comfortable talking about the food than everything else.
“Do you like your lasagna?” Jessica asked.
“Yes. It’s delicious. How about you?”
“Yeah, mine is good too. Is this what you usually get?”
“Mmmhmmm,” Nicole said with a full mouth.
“Yeah, like I said, I usually get the fettuccine, but everything I’ve had here has been delicious.”
For a while it seemed as though they were starting to relax a little. Then the bill came. Nicole reached for the bill first. I would have done the same thing, but Jessica had other ideas.
“Let me get that,” she said.
“No please, let me,” Nicole countered.
“Yeah, but, I asked you out, so I should get to pay.”
“You drove. Let me buy.”
They went back and forth for longer than necessary. I would have preferred to have paid. Maybe it’s a guy thing. But, when Jessica insisted on paying, I probably would have let her pay just so I didn’t offend her. I don’t know if Nicole was trying to do what she thought I would do, or if she was just raised that the guy always pays. Either way, Nicole reluctantly agreed to let Jessica pay for dinner, as long as Jessica let Nicole pay for the movie. Jessica agreed, but neither of them seemed that pleased with the outcome in the end. If I had to guess at this point, I would have to say that Jessica and Nicole are not going to become an item.
We headed out to the movie with about fifteen minutes to spare. Nicole bought their tickets and snacks. The rest of us paid our own way, and we went to find our seats. There was about five minutes left when we got inside, and it was pretty packed, so we ended up sitting in the front part of the theater. The seats were still pretty good, even being that close.
Jessica sat next to Nicole, of course. I sat on the other side of Jessica, then Mike, Caryn and Meredith.
After about twenty minutes into the movie, and Nicole seemingly sitting in her seat stiff as a board, Jessica put her head on Nicole’s…well, my shoulder. She not so subtly scooted her hand Nicole’s way. Nicole, taking the cue, put her hand in Jessica’s.
They stayed like that for most of the rest of the movie. Jessica would play with Nicole’s hand from time to time. Nicole seemed to be trying to return the gesture, but not as much.
I couldn’t help but feel bad for them both. It was obvious to me that Nicole was uncomfortable, and for understandable reason. The real question was what was Jessica feeling about all of this? Was she picking up on Nicole’s discomfort and, if so, how was she interpreting the signals?
As the movie ended, Jessica removed her head from Nicole’s shoulder and looked at her.
“Did you like the movie?” Jessica asked.
“Yeah…it was funny. Did you like it?” Nicole asked.
“I did. It was really good.”
We all got up and started walking out of the theater. Jessica grabbed Nicole’s hand and led her out after me.
“Well,” Nicole said after a minute, “I had a good time tonight.”
“Me too!” Jessica said enthusiastically. “So, what do you want to do next?”
“Uhh…I thought you and the girls were getting together tonight.”
“Well, we are, but it doesn’t have to be right now.”
“Oh. I just assumed it was going to be right after the movie. Mike and I made plans.”
“What kind of plans? We could all go do something.”
“We…told my mom we’d be home to help her…clean tonight,” Mike jumped in.
“Clean? Tonight? It’s Friday night?”
“Yeah, well, it wasn’t supposed to be a big deal because it was just going to be after the movie,” Mike said.
“And we were already going to be there anyway,” Nicole chimed in.
“I’ve got family coming into town,” Mike added.
“Oh, well…okay. So, can I drive you to Mike’s house then?” she asked, sounding a little defeated.
“You can,” Nicole conceded, “but Mike already is going there, so…” She was living on the edge with that response. I hoped she knew Jessica better than I did, because I could definitely have seen Jessica taking Nicole to Mike’s anyway.
“Yeah, I…guess that doesn’t really make much sense. Will you walk me to my car, then?”
A slight hesitation, then she finally responded. “Sure.”
I looked at Mike. Neither of us really knew what to do. Caryn and Meredith seemed a little confused by the abrupt ending of the night. Looking back at the train wreck we just walked away from, I was sure we could have come up with a better scenario than we did.
I felt a little helpless watching Nicole take Jessica to her car. As we headed to our cars, we could see them arriving at Jessica’s car. They were too far away for us to hear what they were saying, but there was no missing the visual when Jessica wrapped her arms around Nicole’s…well, my waist and leaned in for a kiss. I couldn’t see Jessica’s face, but I could only hope she had her eyes closed, because Nicole looked like she was trying desperately to find her happy place.
In the end, there wasn’t much to the kiss. It was short and not much more spectacular than a parent would give their child. I looked around to see everyone quickly look away. Well…this night wasn’t going to win me any awards for best kisser.
Once the kiss ended, they said their goodbyes, Jessica got in her car and drove away as Nicole walked back toward us. As she passed me, she whispered, “Don’t say it…I know.”
I wasn’t going to say anything. As hard as that was to watch, it had to have been harder for Nicole to actually go through.
“Well,” Mike said suddenly, “it was fun. See you Monday?”
“Yeah,” said Caryn, “see you then.” Meredith and I nodded.
Mike and Nicole drove off as Caryn, Meredith and I headed to Jessica’s house. I had my directions in case I needed them, but for now I was just following Caryn.
Tonight was going to be interesting. Let’s face it, seeing the inside of a girls’ sleepover would probably be interesting on any given day, but this wasn’t any given day. It would be interesting to see what their take was of the night, and I was likely going to be the topic of discussion. This may end up being the most uncomfortable night of my life. So far, anyway.
I arrived at Jessica’s house and found a place to park. Jessica had arrived before us and was already inside. I grabbed my things and quickly joined Caryn and Meredith as they walked up to the door. The rain had stopped for a few hours, but it was starting to sprinkle again. Caryn knocked, and we waited for someone to answer.
Just as the door opened, it occurred to me that I didn’t know any of Jessica’s family or how close Nicole was to any of them. I would have to wing it. A lady, who I guessed was Jessica’s mother, answered the door.
“Hi girls. How are you doing?” she asked.
“Good Mrs. Carlson. How are you doing?” Caryn asked.
“I’m fine, thank you. Jessica is up in her room. You know the way.” Not really, but I’m sure the other two know.
We walked up a stairway and down a hallway. Jessica’s room was at the end. There were quite a few doors on the way down the hall. Three of the doors had names on them. It looked like she had at least two sisters, named Jennifer and Erica, and one brother named John.
Jessica didn’t have her name on her door. Maybe she outgrew that. Meredith was the first to arrive at Jessica’s door. She knocked and walked in.
Jessica’s room was not as big as Nicole’s, but it was definitely bigger than mine. It was a pretty decent size for a bedroom. We all could fit comfortably in here without feeling crammed.
When we opened the door, Jessica gave us all a half-hearted smile. She was a little down. I was pretty sure I could guess why.
I was the last one in, so I closed the door behind me, and we all sat down on her bed.
“Well, the movie was pretty good,” Meredith started. “Don’t you guys think?”
We all agreed.
“Did you have a good time with Jake?” Caryn asked.
“Yeah, I guess,” Jessica said, seemingly trying to convince herself.
“Did something go wrong?” Caryn asked.
“I don’t know. I thought it went well. I mean, no, maybe not. Oh, I don’t know. Didn’t he seem more quiet than usual?”
“Yeah,” Meredith responded. “Maybe he was nervous.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. And, is it just me or did it seem like he wanted to leave real fast after the movie was done. I mean, do you think he was really going to help clean Mike’s house? That just seems strange.”
Oh boy. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t decide whether to say nothing or to try and fix this. Trying to fix this could backfire.
“That did seem a little strange, but it’s possible,” Caryn said. “They are best friends. You never know.”
“I suppose. I don’t know. It just felt funny. And when I kissed him…nothing. It was like kissing my dad. I kind of wonder if,” she said, glancing my way, “he still has a thing for you Nicole.”
Great. Now what do I say? “You think so? I haven’t really gotten that feeling at all.”
“That would be kind of jerky, to go out with you if he still has a thing for Nicole,” Meredith said.
“Not necessarily,” Caryn countered. “Jessica, you did ask him out, right?”
“Right.”
“Well, maybe he didn’t want to say no. Maybe he was being nice. Maybe he doesn’t realize he still likes Nicole.”
“And maybe he doesn’t like me,” I offered.
“Maybe, maybe, maybe and…maybe,” Jessica said, kind of smiling. “I don’t know. I’m not counting on a second date, though.”
“It could be that there is some other reason,” I said.
“Like what?” Jessica asked.
Okay. This could go really wrong, but it could help. Do I go for it? Why not? “Okay, I’m not sure about this so…”
“What?” Jessica said, sitting up attentively.
“I think Mike might…kind of like you.”
“Really?” she asked. I think she was surprised, but she didn’t seem upset or unreceptive to the idea, so I continued.
“I think…maybe.”
“Why do you think Mike likes her?” Caryn asked.
“Well, I overheard Mike and Jake talking earlier today, and I thought I heard Jake say something about him not realizing Mike liked Jessica. I could have heard it wrong,” I quickly added.
“Why would Mike tell Jake he liked Jessica knowing Jake was going on a date with her tonight?” Meredith asked.
“I don’t know. Like I said, I could have heard it wrong. Do you want me to try and find out?”
They looked at each other hesitantly, and then Jessica responded, “How would you find out?”
“Jake and I have become pretty good friends. I’ll just ask him.”
“You don’t think that will be awkward?” Jessica asked.
“I don’t think so. I won’t just blurt it out, but if I feel I can work it in to the conversation, I will. But…what if Mike does like you? Do you like him?”
Jessica looked a little nervous or confused, like she didn’t know what to say. “I…don’t know. I mean, I was just on a date with Jake. Like, an hour ago. Doesn’t it seem a little…I don’t know…fast to be thinking about whether I like his best friend?”
“Maybe,” I said. “But, you didn’t really hit it off with Jake. Maybe he was uncomfortable because Mike likes you. Look, I may have my information wrong, but if I’m going to call and try to find out, it’s kind of important to know if you could be interested in him. If Mike asked you out, would you say yes?”
“I…I guess so. He’s funny. I wouldn’t want to hurt Jake’s feelings though.”
“Of course not,” I said. “I’ll be careful.”
I turned to leave her room and they all, pretty much at the same time, said, “Where are you going?”
I turned back. “I was going to go out to my car to call Jake.”
“Now?” Jessica asked, surprised. “Well, why don’t you call him here?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” asked Meredith.
“Because, if he hears you in the background, it might make him hesitant to talk. I don’t want him to think we are messing with him.”
They all kind of looked disappointed, but they didn’t argue anymore. “Well, okay, but hurry back,” Jessica conceded.
“And take good notes!” Caryn added enthusiastically.
I left the room, and went out the way I came in. Fortunately, I didn’t run into anyone. Once I was in the car, I called Nicole.
“Hello?” she said. I could tell from her tone that she was down.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah. No. I don’t know.” Well, that just about covered the spectrum of answers.
“What’s wrong?” As if I didn’t know, but I figured I should just ask.
“I’ve just been thinking about the disaster that was tonight.”
“It wasn’t that bad, and I think we can fix it.”
I was expecting her to ask how, but she didn’t pick up the cue. “Doubtful. Jake, that was a mess. I just keep running everything over in my head. I should have never agreed to go on the date. Then, I think about this whole situation. What if we never change back?”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I hoped that wasn’t true. I could hear Nicole’s…well, my voice quivering. I think she was starting to cry.
“Nicole…we’ll change back.”
“How can you say that, Jake? How do you know?”
“I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem possible to have us stay this way forever. Why would we have ever been born who we were, if we were just going to switch and never change back?”
“I don’t know. When I think about the possibility of us never changing back…I mean, at what point do we stop holding on to who we were? I don’t think I can get used to dating girls.”
“I know. I’ve had the same thoughts, but like I said, we have to change back at some point.”
She didn’t say anything, so I thought I would try to get the conversation back on track. “Did you want to hear how I think we can fix this?”
I heard a sniffle, but when she spoke, her voice was steady again. “Sure, how?”
“I was just talking to the girls.”
“Where are you now? They aren’t listening to this conversation, are they?”
“No, I went back out to your car. So, as I was saying, we were talking about tonight. Jessica was a little down about how things went, and they started trying to come up with reasons why you were so…distant.”
“I know. Could I have been more obvious?”
“You could have worn a sign,” I said lightly.
“Funny,” she said. I think I could feel the smile come back.
“So, Jessica said she thought I was still interested in you, which I said I didn’t think was the case. Then, I told her that I thought I had overheard a conversation between you and Mike earlier where I thought I heard you guys mention that Mike liked Jessica.”
“You didn’t.”
“I did.”
“What did they say?”
“They were curious how that conversation would have come about, but they seemed to think that could make sense.”
“Okay. How does that fix things?”
“Well, I asked Jessica if she was interested in Mike.”
“Did she say yes?”
“Sort of. It wasn’t that easy, but she basically said that if Mike were to ask her out, she’d probably say yes.”
“So, you need to get Mike to ask her out,” she said.
“I don’t think that will be too hard. He did seem interested. Is he there with you?”
“No. I had him take me home.”
“Okay. I’ll call him then.”
“But, this still doesn’t explain how Mike and I would have been discussing that he likes Jessica when I already had a date with her. I mean, guys don’t usually do that do they?”
“Well, no. I was kind of hoping they would forget about that part.”
“Yeah, girls don’t forget about it. At some point, they’ll ask, and we’ll need a good answer.”
We were both quiet for a bit while we tried to think of a good reason.
“I know,” I finally said. “What if we say that Mike told you that he liked Jessica before you could tell him about your date? Then, once Mike told you, you felt bad about going on the date, and so you had a hard time enjoying yourself.”
“That…might work,” she said optimistically. “I guess it’s worth a try. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“It could all come crashing down,” I said, mostly joking.
“Thanks! I feel much better now,” she said with sarcasm.
I laughed. “I better call Mike,” I said.
“Jake?”
“Yeah?”
“I just wanted to say…well, thank you and…I’m sorry.”
“You’re welcome. But, what are you sorry for?”
“I’ve just been thinking a lot about the first day we really met. I was so mean to you. I really had no idea you were anything like you are. I just wish I had…”
“Said yes to my study date?” I interjected.
“Well, I was going to say I wish I had gotten to know you better before this all happened, but...”
“Are you saying you are interested in me?” I asked playfully.
“No. I mean, I look at you and I see me. You speak and I hear me. It’s hard to be interested when we’re like this. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, had I taken the opportunity to get to know you, it wouldn’t have been this difficult to become friends.”
“Well, we’re friends now, and that won’t change when we switch back,” I said. “Anyway, I should get going. The girls are going to be wondering where I’ve been, and I still have to call Mike.”
“Right. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked.
“Sure. I’ll call you in the morning. Oh, real quick…tell me what I need to know about Jessica’s house and family?”
“Oh, wow! Sorry about that. Jessica’s dad is Steve and her mom is Teresa. She has two sisters and one brother. Jennifer is fifteen, Erica is thirteen, and I think John is 12. Not that you’ll be quizzed on that.”
“Do you call them all by their first names?”
“Yes. I’m pretty close with Teresa. I don’t see Steve that much. We don’t really hang out with the two younger kids, but sometimes Jennifer will hang out with us.”
“Okay, last thing…where’s the bathroom?”
“The bathroom is on the left, heading toward Jessica’s room. You and Meredith will shower tonight, probably. Caryn and Jessica will likely shower in the morning. Wow,” she said, laughing, “you know way more about my friends than you should.” No arguments there.
We both said goodbye and hung up. I quickly dialed Mike’s number.
“Hello?”
“Hey Mike, it’s me.”
“What’s up? I thought you were hanging out with the girls tonight?”
“I am, but we had some issues come up from tonight.”
“Yeah, the only thing that was missing was some crime scene tape.”
“Well, we were talking, and I sort of came up with a story to try and fix things. I told them I thought I overheard you and…well, me talking about how you kind of liked Jessica.”
He laughed. “Did that fix things or make them worse?”
“It depends.”
“On what?”
“Do you want to call Jessica and ask her out?”
“Why? Does she want me to?”
“Well, I asked her, if you were to ask her out, if she would say yes, and she said she probably would.”
“She probably would?” he asked.
“Dude, just call her.”
“Sure. When?”
“If you called now, I think my night would go a lot better.”
“Okay, give me the number.”
I looked the number up in Nicole’s phone and gave it to him. Then, I gave him the story we were going to use for how this all happened out. Once we had everything sorted out, we said our goodbyes and hung up.
I got out of the car and headed back to the house. I hoped it was appropriate for me just to walk in since I had already been in the house. So, that’s what I did. I walked in, up the stairs and down to Jessica’s room.
When I opened the door, Caryn and Jessica were painting their toe nails and talking on the bed. I guessed Meredith was in the shower.
They both perked up as soon as they saw me, but before I could say anything, Jessica’s phone rang. Jessica noticed my smile and jumped to answer the phone.
Caryn and I listened intently, to a one-sided conversation that included a lot of giggles and uh-huhs.
“Are you sure Jake is okay with this?” she asked. Then, after a moment, “Well, then, okay. That sounds great! Yeah, just the two of us would probably be better.”
Jessica gave Mike her address and directions to her house. “Okay, I’ll see you then. Bye.”
She hung up the phone, and Caryn and Jessica gave out a little, high-pitched scream. I jumped a little, not expecting that response.
“This could be the strangest night ever,” Jessica said. Caryn and I agreed.
We talked about everything for a few minutes, and then Meredith came in, dressed in her pajamas, and joined the conversation.
“What did I miss? I heard you scream from the shower.”
We filled her in on everything that had happened. She didn’t scream, but she seemed happy for Jessica. Once she had the scoop, Meredith went back to blow-dry her hair.
Jessica and Caryn finished up painting their nails as we talked about the day. The mood in the room was so much better since Mike had called. I was thankful for that, because I had been nervous about how tonight was going to go before that.
When Meredith got back, I took my things into the bathroom to get cleaned up for the night. A lot of things have changed over the last week, but I still love a nice, warm shower. As the water ran over my body, I let everything else go away. Nothing was going to bother me at the moment.
After a few minutes of relaxing in the shower, I started cleaning up. I was in the middle of washing my hair when a huge clap of thunder made me jump so hard I almost fell out of the shower. Suddenly, my heart was racing and my relaxing shower was no more.
I finished up as quickly as possible and got out of the shower. After drying off, I got dressed in my pajamas and started to blow-dry my hair. Once my hair was dry, I packed up my things and headed back to Jessica’s room.
I could hear them talking before I entered the room, but they all stopped when I opened the door.
“Did you guys hear that thunder?” I asked.
“Which one?” Jessica asked. “There’s been a lot of thunder.”
“Really? I just heard the one really big one. I almost fell out of the shower.”
There were no windows in the bathroom, but now that I was in Jessica’s room, I could see and hear the rain pouring outside.
“So,” I continued, “what did I miss?”
“We were just talking about tonight,” Jessica said. “You know, Nikki, I still think Jake likes you.”
“Why?”
“Well, it just seemed like every time I asked him a question tonight, he was looking at you before he answered. Like he was trying to impress you or something.”
“I really don’t think that was what he was doing.” In fact, I’m positive. Not that I can tell them that.
“And…you don’t like him at all?” she asked the question more like a statement she didn’t really believe.
I was hoping I wouldn’t have to answer these questions anymore. “I like him. Now that I’ve gotten to know him, he’s a good guy. Do I like him? I can’t really think about that right now.”
“Nicole,” Caryn said dismissively, “you never think about that.”
“Yeah,” Jessica added, “you’re only seventeen once. You have everything in order. You’re going to get in to whatever college you want. Don’t you think at some point you should let your hair down a little?”
“Maybe.” What do I say to that? “I don’t know. Let’s continue this conversation tomorrow.” That way I can at least see how Nicole wants me to finish that conversation.
“So,” Meredith said, changing the subject, “what are we going to do tonight?”
“I vote for popcorn and a movie,” Caryn said.
Everyone agreed, which is strange since we just came from a movie. But, I was just along for the ride, so we filed out of Jessica’s room and headed downstairs.
After making popcorn, the girls all decided to watch Twilight. I had already seen it this week, but this was the second movie I was going to see tonight, so I didn’t really care what we watched. At this point, I just wanted to veg out and do nothing. The girls spent the next two hours engrossed, as though they had never seen it before. I’m pretty sure they all had, though.
When the movie ended, we all went back upstairs to Jessica’s room. I was kind of hoping that everyone would be ready to sleep by the time we got back upstairs. That wasn’t quite the case.
Once we took our places, Jessica and I in her bed and Caryn and Meredith in sleeping bags on the floor, we turned out the lights and I thought that would be the end to a strange day. And that’s saying a lot these days.
Instead, the thunder and lightning show continued playing outside, and the girls spent the next hour or so talking in the dark. Thankfully the conversation stayed away from Nicole and me.
First, we talked about Jessica and Mike’s date, which apparently will be tomorrow night. They decided, quite wisely, not to invite any of us. Mike told her to be ready at six, and he would take her to dinner.
He said they would do something after dinner, but he said it was a surprise. He would probably take her miniature golfing, because that’s what Mike usually does on first dates. There’s nothing wrong with miniature golf, it’s just not much of a surprise for anyone who knows him. Jessica doesn’t, so it should be fun.
Once we had sufficiently beaten that conversation to death, we moved on to other boys in school who Caryn and Meredith liked. I was having a hard time keeping my eyelids open by the time we were talking about how we couldn’t remember the last time we had a storm so strong. After that, we…started…talk…