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Big Sam joined the women, feeling comfortable with all of them. “Even so, daughter, that gives him no reason to treat you badly. You are welcome at any time. Today, if you choose. Honestly, I am getting sick and tired of how he treats you.”
“Daed, I can’t. Not with the meeting coming up.”
“Hannah, think about your safety and that of the baby. Do this. If it gets worse during the week, you come at any time. Linda, would you be able to check on her?” Ruth was worried.
“Ya, of course. Eli can make sure that Abram knows it’s for her safety.”
***
IN ABRAM’S BARN, ELI and Abram sipped the hot, delicious coffee as they talked. “Abram, I know you’ve got to be worried about next week’s meeting. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
Abram sighed. “I have to confess, Eli, today I...was less than respectful to her.” He explained the situation, ending with, “And today, I thanked her. But I covered it up with sarcasm because I felt angry at being called out by my wife. So, I came here so I wouldn’t do anything to her. Is Linda with her?”
“Ya. They are talking. We all know you’re worried about next Sunday. And that’s why we’re here. We want to offer you a private meeting with just the two of us. You let us know what day is the best for you and, if nothing is happening for us, we can be here.”
A part of Abram was grateful that the Yoders were making the effort. The other half was sardonic and resentful, questioning why they didn’t think he could handle himself or his married life. He sighed. “Denki. That is a gut idea. To save time, let’s check with the women and see what they say.” In the house, he found Hannah’s note. “They went to Hannah’s parents’ house. I wonder why.”
Eli had an excellent idea of why Linda and Hannah had gone, but didn’t want to say anything until it was necessary. “Well, until they get back, let’s sit in this warm kitchen and you ask me anything you want. About marriage and gut relationships, or anything you want.”
Abram took full advantage of the situation. Wanting to find a chink in Eli’s gut reputation, he was hoping to learn that Eli, himself, had hit a woman or done something that others disapproved of. “Well...okay. Have you ever done anything to be ashamed of? Say, hit a woman?”
Eli knew exactly what Abram was doing. “I’ll answer your questions, Abram. Nee, I’m not perfect. I’m a sinner, just like you. No, I have never hit a woman or robbed a bank. But I have lied. I have lusted.”
“What about your relationship with Linda and your kinder?” Abram was getting curious. He felt the edge of his anger retreating.
Sensing this, Eli felt a little bit of relief. “Our relationship isn’t perfect. We correct each other when we do wrong. And ya, we get angry at each other. But I like to think that we have learned how to address the topic at hand, and each other, in respectful, loving ways.”
“Okay. Say, Linda feels like you weren’t grateful for something she did or said. How do you handle that?”
“I think about how I responded. Sometimes, it’s just a simple misunderstanding. Other times, I did forget to take her feelings in consideration, and I didn’t thank her. And I apologize and thank her. Even if it is a few hours or days late. Now, was Hannah respectful when she brought this up?”
“Ya, I can’t lie about that. She is always respectful to me.” Abram looked out, seeing the snow slowly falling and hoping Hannah would come home soon. “Have you ever felt like hitting Linda?”
“Nee. Never. Because I know we have other ways of settling disagreements. And that’s what we want to teach you. We know you have a gut chance of correcting the mistakes you’re making, Abram. Or the elders wouldn’t have brought your situation to us. All we ask is that you be honest with us and let us know if you have any problems in your relationship with Hannah. At the sound of the women’s feet on the front porch, Eli turned toward the door.
“Hannah! You’re home! Why did you go to see your mamm, in this weather?” Abram, knowing that they had support, was able to relax a little, though he still worried about the upcoming meeting.
Hannah had already discussed with Linda the reason for her visit with her parents. “I want to be honest, Abram.” She sat at the table. “Your meeting is coming up and I know you feel terrible about that and about what’s been happening with us. I’ve decided that, if things don’t improve, or if they get worse, I will be moving back with them until we can work things out. It’s for the baby’s safety.”
Abram was crushed, knowing that Hannah had to take that burden on her shoulders. Drawing a deep breath in, he nodded. “I agree. I don’t like it, but I agree. Ya, I am worried and frightened about the meeting.”
“Abram, as long as you repent, you should be fine. And I know you are sorry.”
Abram knew this was the best time to confess what he had been feeling. “Hannah. Linda, Eli, I do repent. At the same time, I feel a...a pulling between what I know I should do and what I learned at my uncle’s house so long ago. Because the Ordnung—”
“Nee, Abram. Our Ordnung is more liberal than others are. While we aren’t nearly as advanced as other communities are, we do welcome the input and hard work of our wives and mothers. I don’t know what your uncle told you, but unless he is from a highly conservative community, he is wrong and in violation of their Ordnung. I can’t stress that enough.” Eli spread his hands on the table, thumping them gently on the surface as he spoke. “If this is the source of your problems, please tell me. How difficult will it be for you to rid yourself of the influence of your uncle’s thinking and actions?”
Hannah waited, holding her breath. She looked out the window, saying a prayer.
Abram sighed. “It will take some effort. Because I did ask my daed about what I saw. He also said my uncle was wrong. But he didn’t say anything about the Ordnung violation. I’ve been torn between both standards for years now.”
Linda spoke. “When you were dating Hannah, did any of this interfere?”
“Nee, and that’s why I am so confused. I wanted her to express herself. That’s part of what attracted me to her.”
Eli ran his hand through his thick, blond hair. “Well, it seems to me that you have quite some work ahead of you. If you don’t mind, we need to get home before this weather gets any worse. Hannah, are you comfortable being alone with Abram?”
Hannah looked at her husband. She saw none of the anger or sarcasm, just confusion. “Ya, as long as he stays calm.”
“Abram, do you feel like you can respect Hannah’s emotions and boundaries? Not hit her?”
“Ya. If I get frustrated, I’ll go to one of the other rooms until I feel calmer. I promise.”
This promise held until Thursday night, when Hannah sensed Abram’s frustration building to a dangerous level. She packed a small bag and asked Linda Yoder to take her to her parents’ house. Stopping in the barn, where Abram was putting his equipment away, she told him where she would be. “When we both know what is going to happen after the meeting, we can talk about my coming back home. I’ve left your supper in the refrigerator. Go ahead and warm it up according to the instructions I wrote down.”
Abram nodded, feeling bereft. He didn’t like seeing her go, but feeling as though he had only a small amount of control, he knew she needed to be elsewhere.
“Abram, Eli is telling your mam where Hannah will be. I’m sure she’ll bring meals to you.” Linda’s voice was soft and kind.
***
AT HER PARENTS’ HOUSE, Hannah was tearful, wondering if she had done the right thing.
“Ya, you did. Your daed saw Abram in town and said he looked tense enough to fly apart. You stay here until Sunday. If he isn’t banned, you can go back home.”
Hannah nodded.
***
AT THE BEILER’S HOME, Abram sat, head bowed, as his mamm served his supper. “Mamm, thank you. I pray she will be back Sunday sometime.”
“Son, if you hadn’t let your uncle’s poor example lead you, then she would be here, where she belongs. But I agree with her. I do wish now that you hadn’t spent time at your uncle’s for that summer. Then, you wouldn’t have seen the shameful example he sets. Now, I have to get back home. Just set the dishes into the sink with warm water and I’ll wash them tomorrow.”
On her way home in the cold evening, Martha Beiler wondered if she should tell Abram about her own brother’s domestic violence situation. Thinking about all the advantages and disadvantages, she decided that he could use some new ways of thinking about his own plight. Ya, I’ll tell him. Tomorrow.
The next morning, returning to Abram and Hannah’s house, Martha poured herself a cup of coffee. “Son, what time is your first appointment today?”
“Not until eight. Why?”
“We still have some time. It’s not even six-thirty yet. I’m going to tell you about your uncle on my side. Do you remember Uncle Andrew?”
“Barely. Wasn’t I only something like eight when he had to leave?”
“Around that, ya. Do you know why he was banned and shunned?”
Abram had an uncomfortable feeling. “Was it for beating his wife?”
“Ya. Not only his wife, but his two oldest girls, as well. Only, their community didn’t have the Peer Council. It may have helped him. He was sure that the only way he could ensure that he and his family stayed on the right side of Gott was to whale the ever-living stuffing out of them. For any infraction, no matter how small. For some odd reason, the boys escaped those beatings.”
“How did he get caught?”
One of the ministers happened to be driving by as he was beating your aunt. She had told her husband that she didn’t think it was a gut idea to allow one of their sons to socialize with another community boy. Well, your uncle didn’t appreciate that she dared to speak up. The kinder were all upstairs as he beat her. By the time the minister and one other community member came to the house and got in, he had broken her nose, given her a concussion, blackened her eye and broken one arm. She was in the hospital for a gut two weeks. And he was not allowed to be around the kinder. Nee, they stayed with your daed and me.”
“I remember that! The girls were just the quietest little things, like church mice. But the boys—”
“Were out of control. Two weeks after the beating, while your aunt was still being treated, the community met. The minister and community member spoke. Other witnesses spoke. And—finally encouraged to speak up—your aunt dictated a statement to be read at the meeting.”
“Did my uncle repent?”
“Nee! He honestly thought that he had the Gott-given right to abuse your aunt and cousins. He was banned and shunned. When he realized that the community was serious about its punishment, he claimed repentance. But, when he ran into one of your cousins, Amy, he yelled at her and raised his fist to her at the after-meeting lunch. After that, he was encouraged to leave the community and settle elsewhere. To this day, your aunt has had to make a living for herself. Your daed and I worked hard with the girls and boys to teach them how to respect others and to respect themselves.”
“And? Do the boys respect authority now? Because I remember they used to sass you something terrible.”
“Ya, they did. Until your daed gave them some of the hardest work they’ve ever done. They had to muck out stalls for several of his customers. Before that, they had never been made to work that hard. By the end of that day, they were this close to puking from the stench. And your daed promised them that if they ever disrespected him, me or anyone else, they would get double the punishment.”
“It worked, I know!” Abram didn’t dare to laugh. He’d been through that particular punishment himself.
“Ya. And, if you want to go through it again, I can promise your daed will be happy to take you to his customers’ houses and have you clean out their stalls.”
Abram closed his mouth. He knew his daed would do just that.
***
SUNDAY WAS THE DAY of Abram’s meeting, and it dawned clear and cold. Everyone in the community came to the bishop’s house and separated themselves by gender. Sitting on benches in one large room, they heard the reasons that Abram had been called before them. Abram stood in the center of the room, between both sets of benches.
“Abram Beiler, you may speak.” The bishop’s voice was solemn.
Abram drew in a long, shaky breath. “Bishop Kurtz and community, I repent fully of my actions. I have no excuses, other than recounting a summer I spent with my uncle and his family. He treated his wife and children terribly. And, even though I knew how my own daed treated and still treats my mamm today, I thought that husbands had to begin treating their wives with sternness and strong discipline.
“One day, recently, I backhanded Hannah, my wife. She came to meeting with a bruised cheek, which she tried to hide. Since then, I have been involved in meetings, public and private, with the Peer Council. Yet, I continue to struggle. I tell you this in the spirit of repentance and to ask for your help and prayers. I want to stop. I don’t want to hit Hannah or my babies. Yet, I get frustrated. When I try to avoid hitting her, I get angry and sarcastic. Out of concern for our baby, she chose to return home for a few days, until we know what is going to happen today.” Abram looked at the women’s benches and, spotting Hannah, he held her eyes with his own sorrowful gaze. “Hannah, I hope you know just how sorry I am for what I did. And I promise that if I stay here and don’t get the ban, I will work every day to respect your spirit, mind and body.”
