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“By then, they were eighteen and nineteen. The girl was the youngest, but she opted to go through baptism instruction with her brother. And as soon as they were baptized, they told the bishop they were moving to another Amish community and away from their daed. Of course, we didn’t know the truth of what had happened to Mary. So, many of us just chalked it up to a poor relationship with their daed.”
Abram shoved his plate away from him, his appetite gone. “Mei Gott! So he had hatred in his heart. And anger. Mamm, denki. I needed to hear this. I don’t want to do that to Hannah. Instead, I want to learn what I need to learn and stop giving Hannah reasons to worry about my behavior or fear me.”
“Son, we’re going to start working with the Peer Council. I want you to keep those mental images of Salome Troyer and Jake’s first wife in mind. Every time you get angry and want to scream at Hannah, remember them.”
Abram nodded. “Ya, Mamm, I will.” Abram was sure he would do so. What he had learned that day sickened him. Looking at the time, he knew he needed to leave. “I need to go see my new customer.”
“I will have supper ready for you. Hannah will be home tomorrow?”
“Ya. She is in the middle of baking a large amount of goods. She wants to sell more so she can put more money away.” Abram sighed. “If I had only listened rather than thinking she didn’t know what she was doing, she would be here at home with me. And you wouldn’t have to take care of two homes.”
“Remember that, too, son.” After Abram had left, she did some quick cleaning, thankful that Abram wasn’t a messy person. Next, turning her attention to Abram’s supper, she mused about the differences between him and Jake. Jake was fake. He figured out what people needed to see from him and he gave that to them. Abram...ya, he has his faults and he has definitely hurt Hannah. But he is genuinely confused and apologetic about what he has done. I only wish we had decided not to allow him to spend the summer with his cousins! He was so impressionable. And now... Martha wasn’t aware that Abram and Hannah’s situation would worsen before it got better.
***
ELI AND LINDA YODER didn’t waste any time. They began to work with the Zooks and senior Beilers, teaching them what they would need to know so Abram and Hannah would begin interacting with each other in more loving ways.
“Isaac, I think it’s best we go and visit that shelter sooner rather than later. I don’t want to leave anything to chance. Then, if you decide Abram should speak with one of the residents, I can set that up.”
“I thought he would go visit it.”
“Nee. I remembered after our discussion that the location is kept a secret for the safety of the residents. Even from us. I will call and set up an appointment for you and me to tour. We can do so because we aren’t abusers. Abram can’t, because he has abused Hannah. But I believe I can set up an appointment elsewhere in town.”
“Ya, that works for me. What days do you have available?”
“Thursday. It’s light. You?”
“Thursday and Friday. No calls yet.”
“Okay, I’ll set up the details. Do you prefer early or late?”
“Early. I may have a lot of questions and I’d like to have the opportunity to get answers.”
“Gut thinking!” Eli smiled widely at Isaac.
***
AFTER COMING BACK HOME, Hannah continued her accelerated schedule of cleaning and baking. Her baked goods sold well, allowing her to put more money into the joint bank account she held with Abram.
As the time of their baby’s birth finally drew near, she gave in to the urge to set up the baby’s room. Some misty instinct led her to choose the room with the door adjoining her and Abram’s bedroom. Maybe I just want to be able to get to the baby more quickly in case it wakes at night for a feeding. Yet something kept drawing her to that room, not only for the sake of convenience. One day, as she was folding quilts, blankets, sheets and towels for the baby and putting them away, her gaze fell on the sturdy locks on both doors. It hit her then. It was a refuge, just in case Abram grew angry again. Nee! I want to sense if that’s happening so we can get away before. In fact... I wonder if Eli and Linda should tell him.
Three days later, she went into labor and Abram notified the midwife, who came over. Two exhausting days later, Hannah gave birth to a long, slender baby girl. Her eyes were dark and it looked like the child would have her mamm’s auburn hair.
“Abram, her cheeks are all your family’s! She is a gift!”
Abram was flying high, excited to be a daed for the first time. Looking at his daughter, he saw that she did have the full cheeks characteristic of the babies in his family. “Ya, but look at the mouth. That’s all you. And, if the elders heard us talking like this...”
“Ya. She’s Gott’s gift to us.”
The couple named the baby Eleanor. Hannah had been taken with that name ever since learning about First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt. “I want her to be strong and to do the right things in her life.” Over the next few weeks, they slowly got the baby acclimated to life in their home. It was a quiet time, with Abram encouraged to be gentle with Hannah and Eleanor.
Slowly, Hannah began to resume her normal schedule. She got the baby used to lying in a rocker nearby as she baked and sang hymns. As Hannah began baking at her former level, she felt more relaxed, knowing she didn’t have to keep up the frenetic pace she had been on shortly before Eleanor’s birth.
As she evaluated the state of the relationship between her and Abram, she felt reassured. For this time at least, he was calm and accepting of her right to make decisions with him. In fact, he seemed to be just a bit more willing to bring updates to her for discussion. One evening, as she nursed the baby, they discussed his newest client.
“Ben Herschberger seems to be a gut man and an excellent client. He likes my work with his horses. Yet, I find that he complains about my rates. ‘I only used to pay two-thirds of what you’re charging me.’ And I remind him that there are only two families with farriers here and it’s a large district. So, I wonder what he’s going to say at that time when I have to raise my rates.”
Hannah listened carefully. “Do you want my suggestions?”
“Ya, please. All of us, Beiler or Yoder, charge similar rates, so he’s not going to be any happier with my daed, Eli or Jethro.”
“When you know you’re going to raise rates, whether it’s at the beginning of the year or at another time, let him know a few months early. And keep reminding him of the size of our district and communities. Let him know that we don’t have very many farriers. Hmmm... also, let him know that the prices of the materials and tools you use are going up.”
“And, if he threatens to go outside our district?” Abram liked all of Hannah’s ideas. Seeing her feeding the baby brought out feelings of tenderness he didn’t even know he had.
Hannah grimaced. Removing the baby from her breast, she covered up and positioned her for burping. “It’s okay, Eleanor. Husband, what I would do is ask him what he would do in an emergency if he chose not to use you, your daed, or the Yoders. He can’t walk a horse with a thrown shoe. And the next district is at least seven miles away!”
“Ya, closer to ten, but that’s an excellent point. In the end, I think he’s just used to forcing vendors to push their prices down for him.”
For the next few months, all was calm in the Beiler home. Hannah and Abram went to meetings with the Peer Council. The Yoders came to their house and gave them instruction on developing and maintaining healthy relationships with one another. While Abram still experienced times of confusion, he was becoming more and more confident that he was better able to handle the idea of a wife who could and should share decisions with him. Yet, he knew that he couldn’t get away with skipping meetings. He continued to attend and listened closely whether the material was interesting or not.
***
ONE DAY, WHEN ISAAC knew that Abram had a light day of customer visits, he came over to Abram and Hannah’s house while they ate breakfast.
“Daed, come in! Coffee? Breakfast?”
“Coffee, thank you. Your mamm fed me well this morning. Hannah, how are you and Eleanor doing?”
“Well, denki! She is growing so fast! Would you like to see her?”
Isaac held the baby, playing with her soft cheeks and hands as he talked with Abram and Hannah. “Son, Eli Yoder took me to one of these domestic violence shelters and I got to speak to some of the workers there. It was...enlightening, I tell you. I think you should go with me to speak to one of the residents. She is willing, along with her counselor, to meet us at a restaurant in town.”
“But Daed, things have been going well for us...”
“Ya. And I am thankful to Gott for that. But you don’t want to become complacent and hit a bad spot. Not now, since you’re a daed. Your schedule is light today, like mine. Besides, Eli said he and Jethro would cover for us. It would only take up the morning. Listen to this girl. Susan is her name. She can tell you exactly what she’s been through. We’ll meet at a diner, talk to her and come back home. If you get any calls for service after, you can go take care of them.”
Abram looked at Hannah, who nodded. “Okay. Let me just make sure of my appointment today. It’s for one-thirty.”
“We’ll be back well before then.” Handing the baby back to Hannah, Isaac led Abram to the buggy.
***
AT THE DINER IN TOWN, Abram held onto his hot coffee mug nervously. He didn’t know what to expect as they spoke with Susan and her counselor. He jumped slightly at a nudge from Isaac’s elbow.
“There she is. The tall, black girl.”
Abram hadn’t expected a girl of color. Since he had been taught to accept people of all races and ethnicities, he shook that off quickly. Standing with his daed, he smiled and extended his hand. “Abram Beiler.”
“Susan Williams. This is my counselor, Beth Cross.” The newcomers ordered breakfast.
Because Isaac and Abram had already eaten, they just accepted refills on their coffees. “Susan, Abram has been having some difficulties in treating his wife, Hannah, with the respect she is due. What’s more, they have an infant in their home, too, so it’s especially urgent that he deal with the issue or issues that are causing him to threaten Hannah.”
“Whoa. That’s a sensitive one for me. Abram, my dad hit my mom. He’s in prison because of that. He nearly killed her...left her blind and in a wheelchair. I didn’t know any better. I thought that all women deserved that kind of treatment, so when I started seeing boys and men, I didn’t think it was wrong that they beat me. What happens with you and Hannah?”
Abram swallowed, his mouth dry. “Well, when she wants to make decisions with me...say, about my business as a farrier—I take care of horses and shoe them—sometimes, I don’t think she should have anything to do with my work. She’s a baker and, more often than not, she makes her decisions for her business. I’ve gotten better about asking for her input and she accepts mine as well. I...hit her one time and put a big bruise on her cheek.”
“Was this before or after she had your baby?”
“Before. We had just found out a couple months before that we were expecting her. I don’t know how much you know about the Amish...”
“I know about your ban or excommunication practices. I’m Catholic, so it’s something that happens in pretty extreme cases. Your community’s rules don’t allow violence. And I’m going to explain why, in our world, violence is wrong. I married my latest abuser. He was unusual. While we were dating, he was the kindest and most considerate man I had ever met. He wanted my input on things. He treated me as if I was God’s gift to him. Then, shortly after we came back from our honeymoon, he changed. He became jealous and controlling, wanting to know why it took so long for me to get from work to home or from the store to home.
“We were trying to have a baby. His behavior scared me, but I thought it was normal. And, for years, I didn’t get pregnant. Come to find out, I can’t. I won’t get into the particulars, but Eric, my husband, thought I was tricking him. He wanted a couple kids. So, when I came home with the medical report, he hit me after he read it. From then on, I was damaged goods to him. And I was worth no more than the trash. So he yelled and cursed at me. He hit me and put bruises on me. As a marketing executive, I couldn’t work if I had injuries because I spent so much time in meetings with clients. One night, he gave me the worst beating I’ve ever gotten in my life.
Susan licked her lips, seeming to gather her courage. “He...came home from work. He had a twelve-pack of beer in his hand and he put it in the refrigerator. He was in a bad mood because...well, just because. I made dinner and served it. He ate it and I brought out the dessert. I remember, it was this flan he loves. ‘I’m not in the mood for flan tonight! I wanted cobbler!’ So, he took the dish and smashed it against the wall. I tried to run. I got halfway to the door, had just grabbed my purse when he grabbed my hair. He pulled me back, threw the purse against the fireplace and everything in there just burned up.”
