I walked into Kenna’s house, plopped down on a chair, and outlined the events that had occurred the night before. “I don’t know what to do, Kenna. He’s treated me like he doesn’t care if I exist, and then the minute he knows I’m spending time with someone else, he pops back up again.”
Kenna sat across from me, combed her fingers through her short, blond pixie cut. “I don’t know what to think either. Maybe Jeremy set him off. He’s not just some random guy. He’s the guy who caught your husband kissing his wife. Think about it. I’m sure he questions Jeremy’s motives, even if you don’t. I don’t blame Josh for coming over. It means he still cares about you.”
“He has no right. He can’t just ignore me, then swoop in and act interested just because another man has entered his domain. I’m not his property. I don’t even know if I’m his wife anymore. I don’t know what the hell I am.”
Kenna leaned back, crossed her arms in front of her. “I know this is just my two cents, and obviously I wasn’t there when it happened, but I really think you’re going about it all wrong. Have you ever considered why Jeremy asked you out?”
“If you think he asked me out to get back at Josh, or get back at his wife, he didn’t. He isn’t like that.”
“Yes, but think about how Josh sees it.”
“Why do I have to think about Josh at all?”
“It goes back to what we all talked about at the very beginning. There are so many unanswered questions. Doesn’t it bother you? You still don’t really know what happened that day, or why he left, or why he walked out on your marriage.”
She was right.
I didn’t know.
I didn’t know because I hadn’t asked.
And I hadn’t asked because I was afraid.
Afraid of the answer. Afraid I wouldn’t be able to hear it, or accept it, or ... handle it. But no matter how afraid I was, I’d never be able to move on until I knew the truth—all of it—
the whys, and hows, and what’s leading to the end of our relationship.
“Callie,” Kenna said. “You still love him, and until you don’t, this will always be unresolved inside you.”
A weight rose within me, so deep and heavy, the only thing I managed to squeak out was, “I think I’ll always love him.”
Kenna leaned forward, smiled, and looked me in the eye. “Then you know what you need to do. You need to go. You need to go right now and find him.”