“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.” – Marshall McLuhan.
Be grateful that you live in modern times.
As a result of my immortality, I take the long view on humanity. Believe me, when it comes to diapers, you have it easy.
Back in the old days, you would be lucky to have even cloth diapers. More than likely you would have had to use leaves, animal skin, moss, or even nothing. Imagine your little “bundle of joy” peeing and pooping at will. Imagine the clean up. Imagine the slipping hazard.
The number one rule, when it comes to changing diapers is: do your part.
I see lots of couples get into battles when it comes to changing diapers. Yes, it can be gross, but mainly it is just a brief interruption to your day. Take turns between parents. If you never help change diapers, then you are not much of a parent. (This does not apply to you if you are rich and have a full-time nanny. And, in any event, if you have a nanny, why are you bothering to read this book? The nanny is the real parent, not you.)
When you have your first baby, I know most of you will be clueless about how to change a diaper. It might take you a few minutes. It might frustrate you, especially when you have to do it in the middle of the night. Just take a deep breath (or maybe not so deep, depending on the gift you unwrap) and get through it.
Make fair compromises with your spouse on changing diapers. If one parent is the breadwinner and needs to wake up early, then the non-breadwinning parent should change the diapers at night during the workweek. The breadwinning parent can change the majority of diapers on the weekend.
This next paragraph is mainly for the male readers. Men, it is you – in the majority of couples I have observed – who try to avoid diaper changing duty. Most of you justify this by deeming baby-related chores as “women’s work.” If that is what you truly think, then you need to live your entire married life in the role of the dominant patriarch, enduring all stress for your family and giving your wife gifts while you impose rules and structure. If, as is more likely, you are just being a lazy, pain-in-the-ass who purports to believe that women should be the equals of men, then live up to your sloganeering and change some damn diapers.
Finally, please do not discuss your diaper-changing adventures with non-parents. They will not understand why you are so interested in the shape, size, or smell of your child’s bowel movements.[3] They do not want to hear about how little Johnny looked like he had a duck’s tail because his diaper was so full of urine. Keep that stuff to yourself.