As I lift my hand to knock, I cannot help remembering the last time I stood on this threshold. Then, the prophecy and my part in it were still a mystery.

This time, Aunt Virginia is decidedly more surprised to see me.

“Lia!” She reaches for my arm, pulling me into the room and shutting the door behind us. “Are you all right? Is something wrong?”

I want to tell her that, of course, everything is wrong. That Henry is dead and will never come back and that Alice will stop at nothing to bring forth the Beast. But Aunt Virginia knows this. Repeating it will only waste time we do not have to waste.

I shake my head. “No. I just…” I look down at my hands. “I must leave, Aunt Virginia.”

When I look up, she nods simply. “What can I do to help?”

I take her hands in my mine. They are soft and dry and light as a feather. “Come with me.”

She looks into my eyes with a small smile before reaching out and embracing me. “Oh Lia. You know I should like nothing better.”

“Then say you will.”

She shakes her head. “It isn’t yet time for me to leave.”

“But Henry is…” I nearly choke on the words. I think they will kill me on the way out of my mouth. But I force myself to say them. “Henry is gone, Aunt Virginia. There is nothing left for you here.”

“There is Alice.”

I cannot hide my surprise. “Alice?”

“I know it is difficult to understand, Lia. But I made a promise to your mother. A promise that I would look after all of her children. I cannot help feeling that I have already failed her.”

Her eyes grow dark. I know she is thinking of Henry, but her guilt and sadness only bring forth my anger. “Alice? You will stay to care for Alice? And will you train her in the ways of the Guardian as well? Will you give away the secrets of the sisters to aid her cause?”

“Lia.” Her voice is soft. It is not scolding. Not exactly. But I hear the admonishment in it. “I would never do such a thing. Alice is beyond my help. Beyond my intervention. I will not train her in the ways of the Guardian, because she doesn’t wish to fulfill the role, but neither can I simply abandon her.”

I want to scream, What about me? Shall I be abandoned to make my own way in the prophecy with nothing at all to guide me?

Aunt Virginia continues as if in answer. “And neither am I abandoning you, my dear. You shall have the support of the keys and the guidance of the sisters, and I will join you when I can. You have my word.”

I shake my head. “Join me where, Aunt Virginia? I don’t even know where I shall go. I need time. Time to refine my knowledge of the Otherworlds and the gifts I can still scarcely control. I need a place where I can feel safe, if only for awhile.”

“Not to worry.” Her eyes meet mine. “I know just where you’ll go. There are no guarantees, of course. But it is as safe a place as any.”

“Edmund.” My voice cracks as I say his name.

He polishes the carriage in long, slow strokes, his back to the door of the carriage house. He stops when he hears my voice, hand still raised against the gleaming flank of the carriage that appears as if it has been polished every moment of the three days since Henry’s death. When he turns to meet my eyes, I wish he had not, for there is such grief there, such naked anguish, that I almost lose my breath.

I move toward him, stopping to place a hand on his shoulder. “I am… I am sorry, Edmund. For your loss.”

The words hang between us, and I wonder for a moment if he is terribly angry. If he shall ever forgive me for losing the boy he loved so dearly.

But when he looks at me, it is with surprise and a kindness of his own. He nods. “Thank you. And I for yours.”

I hesitate, before asking for the favor I have no right to ask, least of all now. Even still, there is something I must do, and I cannot do it without Edmund’s help.

“I need a ride to town, Edmund. I… I need to see James. And I need to see him tonight. Will you take me?” The barriers have fallen between us. I am not asking our servant to transport me to town. I am asking Edmund. The nearest I have left to a father.

He nods without hesitation, reaching behind him for his hat. “I’ll do anything you ask, Miss. Anything at all.” And with that, he opens the door of the carriage.

The light coming from the bookstore is dim with the coming evening. Edmund stands patiently and without prompting in the open door to the carriage, as if he knows how difficult the next moments will be and seeks to give me the time I need.

I have tried to practice what I shall say, how I shall explain to James the prophecy, my role in it, and why I must leave, if only for a while. Even still, nothing I have practiced brings with it the guarantee that James will see fit to love me still, and so I have decided on nothing at all. I shall have to tell him in whatever way I can, allowing things to unfold as they will.

Stepping from the carriage, I march quickly to the bookshop, unaware until he speaks that Edmund is right on my heels.

“I’ll wait right here, Miss.” He leans against the building near the door in a way that tells me there will be no argument, and I smile faintly before stepping into the warmth of the shop.

Breathing in the smell, I stand for a moment trying to commit it to memory. I don’t know when I will return. I have become used to these small moments of melancholy, these moments when I realize all I will be leaving behind. There is no use fighting them.

“Lia!” James emerges from the curtain blocking the back room. He crosses to me quickly, the worry evident in his eyes. “What are you doing here? Are you all right?”

I look down at my skirt for a moment, bracing myself for the difficulty in the words I know I must say. When I finally look into his eyes, I want to throw myself into his arms, to lose myself in the comfort I know I will find there, to forget the thing that stands between us.

“I’m… I’m bearing up. I suppose you could say I am as well as can be expected.” I try to smile bravely, but it must not be very convincing, for James sweeps me into his embrace.

“Lia… Oh Lia! I’ve tried to see you. I’ve come calling every day. Did Virginia tell you?” His voice is a fierce whisper in my hair.

“Yes. I’m sorry, James. I… I simply couldn’t speak to anyone. Not to anyone.”

He pulls away, holding my shoulders as he surveys my face. “Of course. Anyone would feel the same. But why? Why have you come all this way? You need only send a message, and I will come to you. You shouldn’t have troubled yourself to come in the dark and cold.” He leans toward the window, seeming satisfied to see Edmund leaning against the wall outside.

I take a deep breath. “I… I had to speak to you. Tonight. I needed to ask you for something.” That’s it, I think. Just like that. A little at a time.

“All right. But come get warm, Lia. Come and sit by the fire.” He takes my hand, already pulling me to the warmth of the back room.

I shake my head, remaining with my feet rooted firmly to the ground. “No!” It comes out harsher than I intend, but I must not be lulled to the comfort of the fire and the back room, for once there I shall never leave. “I can’t. That is, I… Let us speak here, James. Please?”

His eyes seem to darken with the desperation in my voice. He nods reluctantly, but when he speaks, his voice holds such determination that I cannot deny his words. “You must know that whatever it is, whatever you need, I will do it for you. I will give it to you if it is in my power to give.”

I feel his gaze on me as I focus on the books over his shoulder. His words should bring me comfort and courage. They should serve to remind me that James will do anything I ask, give me anything I need. But somehow they do not. Somehow his resolve only seems to prove that which, somewhere inside, I have suspected all along: James will not turn his back. He will insist on accompanying me to London, to the ends of the earth if necessary, rather than see me go alone into harm’s way.

When I look back into his eyes, the untruth I tell is the hardest lie I shall ever utter. “It is… it is nothing, really. Only that I fear it will be some time before I can go on as before. Before I can… overcome what has happened.” My words become softer and softer as I speak them, until the end is but a whisper, and I find it is not an untruth after all. For I know now that there will never be a time when I will go on as before.

He breathes deeply, as if relieved, smiling softly into my face and taking my hands. “No one expects it to be otherwise. Least of all me. I’ll be right here waiting, however long it takes.”

Returning his smile, I stand on tiptoe to kiss his smooth cheek. “Thank you, James. I pray that is true.” I turn to go before I change my mind.

“Lia?”

When I turn back he is holding his hand to his cheek, as if trying to keep my kiss from floating away.

“I love you.” He says it as if he knows he will not see me again, though surely he cannot. “I love you, Lia.”

“And I you, James.” My throat closes with emotion as I say the words.

And then I am out the door, closing it firmly behind me and turning to Edmund. “Thank you, Edmund. I’m finished here.”