The Warehouse stood in an industrial sector that was slowly being taken over by residential development - the kind that appealed to upwardly mobile career professionals looking for a cheap path into that chic, trendy inner-city lifestyle. The area was in a state of transition right now, though. Development was sporadic, untidy. The Warehouse sat well away from any of the new buildings. It was already owned by a developer, someone Emilio Vasq knew, so the trance parties that were routinely held there had been given an unofficial blessing. Also, there was significant money to be made. Vasq had cut the developer in on a significant piece of the action.
On Saturday nights this dilapidated building came to life. The Warehouse was fairly pumping right now. A dance floor occupied the center of the floor space, presided over by a raised stage upon which a DJ bounced around like some enraptured priest as he manned a massive soundboard and music station. The music was urban, primal, erotic. The dance floor was packed to capacity with steamy young revelers, hypnotized by the music’s throbbing intensity. It was hot and stifling but overhead, a bank of sprinklers - part of the warehouse’s original fire safety system - turned on and off intermittently spraying the party goers with cooling water, wetting them down. Clothing stuck to the skin. Clothing came off. The energy was arousing.
Elsewhere, a makeshift bar served beer, wine and spirits next to a group of lounges that sat in the remnants of an old office space and formed a kind of retreat where people relaxed, drank, smoked, took pills and took each other.
Andy, Cassie and a trio of Cassie’s girl friends - all armed with long-neck beers - made their way through the throng of people awaiting service at the bar.
As he had done so many times before, Andy had spent the night working the venue for Vasq, selling product, collecting revenue, cultivating new buyers. He knew the regulars and the uninitiated who were yet to try. Andy knew how to sell. He was influential in his style without being pushy. He used his physicality, his eyes, his smile and sometimes his sexuality to procure a buyer regardless of their gender. He knew exactly what to say and how to say it. His gift was a potent one. His prowess was known to most of the partygoers here. Andy was admired, envied and desired.
Tonight, though, Andy didn’t feel the rush he normally got when dealing. The call from Vasq had unsettled him. He was nervous, constantly looking over his shoulder, suspicious that he was being watched. He worried that the police who had seen him in the hospital might have somehow worked out who he was and decided to tail him.
But there was something else.
Somewhere deep inside him, he felt an alien disgust at what he was doing. He was dealing in drugs, dangerous drugs; it was wrong. Never before had he questioned what he was doing. He just did it, asked no questions and took his cut. As he dealt here and now, he found himself questioning them. He had no idea what this shit contained. For all he knew it could have been battery acid. It was destructive. It was lethal. He had his own experiences to vouch for that. Tonight, he regarded his clients with contempt. They were fools, just as he was a fool. He wrestled with a potent hatred for them and for himself.
But where were these thoughts coming from?
Andy felt that strange presence right now, moving with him through the room and silently taunting him, spurring his sense of disgust.
His remembered his father’s words.
“Wake up to yourself. You’re a fucking disgrace.”
As they walked towards the lounge area he felt relieved that the job was over. All that was left was to liaise with Vasq, settle his account and have a few drinks. They stepped through what had once been a wall into the lounge area.
Cassie had been angry at Andy all evening. She wanted to know why he hadn’t returned any of her calls and why he hadn’t wanted to see her since they’d had sex earlier in the week. It wasn’t enough for her to accept that he had fallen behind with his studies and that he’d had to work - even though he had apologized for not calling. The kicker tonight, however, was something far more petty. Cassie was angry with him for having cut off his hair. He no longer looked cool. She had bickered with him and taunted him; putting him in a foul mood.
They spotted Vasq’s crew, who occupied a group of ripped and tattered leather couches in the center of the room and made their way over.
Vasq watched Andy as they approached. For a second there seemed to be a potent tension in his demeanor, but then he stood with arms outstretched.
“Dev! My man,” he embraced Andy in a crude Latino imitation of Denzel Washington. “It’s a testament to your spirit that you would return so soon after your ordeal.”
Vasq pointed at each of the men sitting around him before gesturing at Andy.
“Learn from this guy. He should serve as an example!”
Vasq’s crew glared at Andy while they made room so that he and Cassie could sit. Two of the girls paired up with men from Vasq’s crew. The third girl, Alyson, a nubile young blonde, sat down beside Cassie and wriggled in close to her.
“I am glad you came, Dev. I hope I didn’t cause any problems at your place of gainful employment.”
Andy couldn’t work out whether Vasq was being serious or not, so he just nodded.
“It’s OK ... just don’t do it again.”
Vasq smiled, lowering his voice just enough to emphasize that he was talking to Andy rather than the others.
“I have to say, friend: it would seem this experience has changed you some, though. You seem a lot bolder in the way you present yourself.”
Andy fidgeted with his beer and made an overly exaggerated attempted to relax back on the couch.
“Well - facing death will do things to you. It messes with your head.”
“Hmmm,” Vasq took a long swig from his beer then nodded outwards into the crowd. “We are doing very well tonight, my friend.”
“There’s more product out there than I’ve seen in a while,” Andy replied. “The quality is good.”
Vasq draped an arm over Andy’s shoulders.
“I was thinking more in terms of your particular skills. Dev. Your ability to distribute. It is truly a gift.”
Andy hesitantly reached into his jacket and took out a thick wad of cash. He handed it discreetly to Vasq, who grinned with satisfaction. He unrolled it, checked the amount then thumbed out several notes and handed them back to Andy.
“And how much was it that you earned pulling beers this week?” Vasq queried with another smile. He looked around at the crew, signaling for them to leave him and Andy alone.
Andy turned to Cassie.
“Why don’t you go dance? Enjoy yourself.”
Cassie looked at him with some contempt, but it quickly melted and she kissed him tenderly on the cheek. As she got up with Alyson and took her hand, Andy handed her a small piece of foil.
Cassie smiled, quickly unwrapping it to find two blue pills. She handed one to Alyson, who eagerly took it and slipped the other under her tongue.
Finally Vasq and Andy were alone. Vasq took two of his own foils out of his jacket and offered one to Andy. Andy looked at it coldly and shook his head. Vasq raised an eyebrow, but didn’t push it.
“I was worried about you, Dev,” he said. “I was beginning to think that experience of yours had damaged you. Why didn’t you return my calls?”
Andy took another swig of his beer and shrugged. He surveyed the crowd on the dance floor, particularly Cassie and Alyson, who were already rubbing up against each other and kissing passionately. Though he was used to this kind of behavior from her in the past, Andy suddenly found himself inexplicably jealous.
“I have to say, man, your girl looks severely fuckable right now, doesn’t she?”
Something clicked inside Andy and he felt as though he was suffocating. The room began to spin, and all he wanted to do was to get out of here as quickly as he could. He took a deep breath and turned towards Vasq.
“I don’t know if I can do it anymore, Emilio,” Andy said in his best attempt at sounding matter-of-fact.
The statement caught Vasq by surprise - so much so that he choked on his beer.
“Are you serious?” the Latino retorted. “You’ve conducted one of your best runs tonight, man. The product is good, everybody is happy. You’re just still a little shaky from your ordeal.”
“No, Vasq, I’m not. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I don’t think I’m cut out for this anymore. I’ve been marked by the police now, so I’m a risk to you. And I’m losing the drive for it.”
Vasq shifted in his seat, irritated.
“Andy, you are my best courier. No one can move around a room the way you do. None of the crew will measure up to your skill. If it’s a question of money, I can cut you in on a better deal.”
Vasq immediately drew out the wad of cash again, and thumbed out a few extra bills. Andy waved it away.
“It’s not about the money, Emilio. Look, you’ve got two or three guys already who could take over. Chew’s been working rooms, and he’s got contacts with infrastructure. Sanchez is nimble enough. You don’t need me.”
Vasq’s expression darkened and he gripped his beer bottle harder.
“But you see. I do need you, dawg,” he leaned in close, lowering his voice until it was barely a whisper. “None of these fucks are gonna measure up. You’re my best asset, my cash cow, baby. I can’t just let you go that easily.”
Vasq nodded across the room to the edge of the lounge where two large and imposing bouncers stood. Both were dressed in tight-fitting black tees, their meaty hands adorned with large jewelry. They were watching Vasq and Andy warily.
Andy’s heart thudded noisily in his ears. The presence was there again, silently influencing him, directing him. Andy met Vasq’s eyes with a piercing determination.
“Don’t threaten me, Emilio,” he whispered shakily. “It doesn’t become you.”
Andy got up off the couch and straightened his jacket.
“I’m done with this, this ... bullshit!”
He turned away. Instantly, Vasq’s men approached him as he stepped through the ruined wall.
“Are you kidding me, Emilio?” Andy stopped, turning his back on the two men and facing Vasq. There was a fire in his eyes and, as he stood over Vasq, the normally cocksure man began to wilt.
“You want me to bring you down? I can, if you’d like. I can give the police everything - the suppliers, the networks, the crews you’ve got sucking your dick!” Vasq shrank further as Andy unleashed a potent anger. “I want to step away now before it kills me, Vasq! I’ve got no problem with you, but if you fuck with me, I will bring it all down. All of it!”
Vasq was stunned. His two lackeys appeared unsure of what to do. Andy spun around and marched towards the men as if to go through them. One of them put his hand up instinctively and shoved it into Andy’s chest, but he slapped it away angrily, brushing the taller man aside. They looked to Vasq for guidance, but this time he shook his head, signaling them to back off.
On the dance floor, Cassie and Alyson continued their flirtations while others around them were getting similarly amorous. Cassie was aroused by the effects of the drug as much as the feel of Alyson’s body, her skin, her lips.
Cassie saw Andy out of the corner of her eye, pushing his way through the crowd. She drew back from Alyson and watched him through her ecstasy haze, blunted concern tugging at her altered consciousness. Somehow her mind shook itself back to lucid attention once she realized that he was leaving.
“Wait for me,” she told Alyson, kissing her lips softly before stepping away.
Andy pushed through a group of people at the entrance to the Warehouse and stepped out into the cold night air. He felt a nauseating panic rising from the pit of his stomach. Emilio Vasq had been sat on his ass, but Andy was under no illusions that Vasq wasn’t capable of retaliating. Andy’s emotions spun like a tornado as he tried to get the silent presence out of his head - the presence he was sure had influenced him in shutting the door on Vasq. He had to get away from here now - as far away as he could from this place, from this life.
As he crossed over a thoroughfare that had once been the Warehouse’s parking lot, Andy glanced back over his shoulder and saw a trio of young women stumbling about in what he recognized as a drug-induced stupor. One of them was teetering on the verge of unconsciousness. Her companions tried to support her while she vomited in a gutter. She was pale, gaunt, sweating profusely. Andy stopped. The girl lifted her head towards him and in that moment, his eyes met hers. He was horrified by what he saw.
He saw nothing.
Her eyes were devoid of color. They were devoid of life. She was already dead.
Spying the fenced entrance to the Warehouse, Andy broke into a jog, heading towards a line of taxis that were dropping off and picking up partygoers outside the perimeter.
“Andy!”
He stopped suddenly at the sound of Cassie’s voice and turned to see her walking unsteadily towards him.
“What are you doing?” she shouted. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going home. I don’t wanna be here anymore.”
Incredulity crossed Cassie’s features as she stepped yet closer to him.
“What is going on with you, Dev? Something’s seriously fucked you up.”
Andy looked skyward with a pained expression.
“I don’t want it no more, Cee. This ain’t living! It’s fucking slavery.”
“What are you talking about, Dev? You’re the one who’s in control. Vasq and the others rely on you. They’re the slaves! Not you!”
Andy shook his head in frustration and tossed his bottle to the ground. It clinked and rolled noisily across the pavement.
“I’m not in control of anything, Cee! My whole life is a fraud. This! All this…” He held his arms out to this world around them. “It’s no good. I need to get out while I still can.”
“You are so full of shit,” Cassie spat. “What have you got to get away from? This is what you do. This is what you’re good at. They love you in there! You’re somebody in there! Outside you’re nothing!”
Andy smiled bitterly at Cassie’s revealing tirade. He turned from her, his shoulders slumped as he walked away.
Cassie, unable to comprehend his behavior, screamed after him: “What are you doing to me?!”
In an act of pure, reflexive rage she pitched her beer bottle at him. Her aim was true, striking the back of his head. Andy yelped in pain and he staggered, putting a hand up to the bleeding gash. He felt sick at the sight of his own blood.
He glared at Cassie, who fell to her knees, stunned at what she had just done. Then he turned away again and continued walking.
“Andy!” Cassie cried, breaking down in tears where she had collapsed. “I’m sorry! Come back!”
Andy had already disappeared into a nearby cab.