To get her mind off the drama with Donovan (and to get her away from Zion for a while), I sent Olivia with Aunt Inez on a two-week trip to Aruba. I figured Aunt Inez could use a break after enduring years of hard work and Curtis’ return to prison. We were all upset about that. Olivia really needed to relax worry-free. She needed time to think and escape all the drama. So, I paid all the expenses and sent them on their way. I hoped that by the time they got back they would each have a clear mind.
On the day that I brought the two of them to the airport, I called Dream and asked her to meet me at one of our favorite restaurants. I got there about twenty minutes late, and Dream was already seated at the table. She looked upset, and I started explaining my lateness as soon as I sat down.
“I had to take my sister to the airport and I got caught in traffic.” I was explaining myself more and more, both to Lucky and to Dream. I had finally figured out that I was in over my head.
Dream touched my hand across the table and rubbed it. “It’s alright, Lamin. Don’t worry about it. I ordered my lunch already. Do you want something?”
I shook my head. “I’m not hungry. I just wanted to come and see you.”
She moved her newspaper aside as the waitress brought her food and set it down on the table. I noticed the headline.
BODY OF PHYA MANAGER WASHES ASHORE ON ROCKAWAY BEACH
I stared at the article a little too long and Dream spoke up. “Did you hear about this? Somebody killed the group’s manager!”
“Damn,” I said. “That’s fucked up.”
She chewed her salad. “It’s sad what happened to him. Somebody shot and killed him and dumped his body in the water. The article said his car was never found and his wallet was missing, so it looks like a robbery gone wrong. They had to identify the body by his dental records since it was decomposed so badly.” Dream seemed genuinely upset. “He was a jackass, but he didn’t deserve to die like that.”
I shook my head pretending to be saddened by the story. Inside, I was relieved that the police suspected robbery was the motive. It had been weeks since the incident and I was growing paranoid. I would sleep a little easier now. Since that weight was lifted off my shoulders, I decided to tell her the real reason I wanted to meet with her.
“I think we gotta slow things down a little, Dream.”
She stopped eating, put her fork in her plate and sat back in her seat. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Lucky’s asking a lot of questions and shit. My home life is getting stressful, and I can’t handle that kinda drama on top of everything else I have to deal with.” I leveled with her. “I’m startin’ to get so comfortable with you that I’m leavin’ clues around. Lucky found a credit card receipt from some flowers that I sent to you. I had to play it off like you were a client that I was trying to entice but it still caused me some friction. I just feel like I need to step back a little.”
Dream looked upset but she kept her composure. She sat silent for a few minutes. Then she said, “I’m not happy to hear you say that, Lamin. But I understand. You’ve been honest with me about your relationship from day one, so I shouldn’t be surprised.” She hesitated. “It’s just that …”
“What? Say it.” I wanted her to flip on me. It would have made me feel better if she wasn’t so mature about it. It would have been easier
for me to walk away if she told me to kiss her ass. But Dream was too classy for that. I reached for her hand and stroked it as she spoke.
“I told myself that I would be able to keep my feelings in check, knowing that you’re involved with someone. But I connected with you. No matter how hard I tried not to, I started to feel for you—”
“I feel for you, too, Dream, but—”
“Let me finish.” She took a deep breath and looked in my eyes. “I love you, Lamin.”
I was at a complete loss for words.
“I know that doesn’t change anything. But I just wanted to say it to you because I’ve been holding back for so long. I want you to be happy. So as much as I don’t like the fact that you need to do this, I do understand.”
She took a sip of her wine and summoned the waitress for the check. Not knowing what to say or do, I reached for my wallet to pay the check. Dream stopped me and whipped out her platinum Visa, paying the bill herself. I felt like I needed to say something.
“Baby, don’t think for a second that I don’t care for you, too. I do. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I owe Lucky. She’s been there for me at times when I really needed her. And as much as I want to be with you, I can’t afford to be selfish. I feel like I’m givin’ up so much by walkin’ away from you. But I care about you so much that I keep letting my guard down, and I’m slippin’. I just need to get myself in check for a minute, that’s all.”
Dream listened to me. She picked up her chinchilla jacket and grabbed her purse. “You know how I feel about you now, Lamin. If you change your mind, call me. I’ll be missing you in the meantime.”
She got up and walked out of the restaurant, leaving me to question if the decision I had made was the right one.