| |
Emmett woke up to the text he’d been waiting for for three weeks: We’re heading back today.
Emmett rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and typed back: Can’t wait to see you. Then he backspaced, his anxiety kicking in hard. They had texted multiple times a day for three weeks but successfully avoided anything serious. He couldn’t assume that Tobey liked him. He was just coming for the house. He was only talking to Emmett because Emmett had done the paperwork. Tobey had made it clear in his texts that they were only staying for the summer; they would return to Chicago in plenty of time for Cosmo to start school.
We’ll see how much work I can get done in these eight weeks and if it’s in sellable condition, he had said.
Emmett knew this was not about him and how empty his small, cluttered house felt since the MacLeods had left.
Benny beat on Emmett’s bedroom door. “Cosmo just texted me! They’re driving here today!” She burst through without waiting for Emmett’s response. “They should be here by lunch!”
“Hey, that phone is for emergencies, not for texting your friends,” Emmett said.
“But Dad, Cosmo has been, like, a thousand miles away,” Benny said. “It’s not like I could just go down to the pool and talk to him in person. That’s basically an emergency.”
“Fine, I’ll let it slide, this time,” Emmett said, scowling in mock anger. “But now that he’ll be back in town, no more texting.”
“Okay.” Benny jumped onto her father’s bed. She had rushed downstairs without even putting on her glasses and still had on her Pokémon pajamas. “I can’t wait to see him.”
“You know that you won’t be able to see them right when they arrive,” Emmett reminded her. “You’re going to be at Grandma’s until I get off work.”
“I know,” Benny said. “But when will we get to see them? Are they going to stay here again? Do I need to clean my room?”
“They’re not here for us,” Emmett said. “Please get dressed.”
“That doesn’t answer my question,” Benny said.
“I don’t know, okay?”
“Then ask them!” Benny said. She jumped back off the bed and left the room.
Ask them? If they wanted to stay here? When he could see Tobey? As if Emmett’s anxiety wasn’t already through the roof.
Kate started crying. Grateful for the distraction, Emmett went upstairs to get her. They got through their morning routine and Emmett dropped off Kate and Benny at Rhonda’s and arrived at work without having texted Tobey back.
Emmett went through the motions at work. He settled into his cubicle, checked his emails, pulled up the code he had been working on the day before. Got up and went to the break room to see if they had restocked the granola bars in the vending machine.
Lindsey was already in the break room, sniffing the coffee dubiously. “I think it needs creamer today,” she said.
“Oh, hey, Lindsey,” he said. “Ready for the meeting later?”
“No way,” Lindsey said. “Michael R. caught wind that I know all about the program and decided I’m the one giving the presentation.”
“Yikes,” Emmett said.
“Yeah. I’ll be working through lunch.” She took a sip of her concoction. “Ahhh, perfect.”
“They, uh, haven’t restocked the vending machine yet,” Emmett said, thumping the glass at the empty coils.
“I have some snacks in my cubicle, come over and grab something,” Lindsey said.
“Oh, thanks,” Emmett said. He followed her out of the break room.
He’d been to her cubicle before, but he didn’t remember it having this many Funko Pops. Emmett tried to inspect them without looking like he was staring at them. Their big, round, black eyes disconcerted him; he couldn’t see the appeal of collecting them. Not like he had random extra money to collect anything.
“Granola bars, right? Gluten-free okay?” Lindsey asked, pulling open a file cabinet drawer. She looked over at him. “Oh, yeah, I used my birthday money to get a few I’d been eyeing. See, now I have Loki and Hulk and Ant-Man and Doctor Strange. And this cute little penguin from Toy Story!”
“I thought you already had Loki,” Emmett said.
“I do,” Lindsey said, pointing to another Pop. “This new one is from the third Thor movie.”
“Oh, cool,” Emmett said. Should he admit that he hadn’t seen any Marvel movies since the first Captain America? He didn’t have anything against superhero movies, he and Megan could just never find the time to get out, and then once they got behind, it seemed like too much effort to make it up.
She pulled out an assortment of granola bars and handed them to Emmett. “Here you go. This should get your brain started this morning.”
“Oh, uh, thanks.” Emmett took them. “Do you, uh, want me to bring you lunch? I could run out and grab something since you have to work.”
“Oh, no, that’s fine, I’ll just eat something from my stash,” Lindsey said. She fiddled with her new Loki figure. “But, uh, maybe we could go to dinner sometime?”
“Huh?” Emmett asked.
Lindsey blushed. “Like a date? Would you like to go on a date with me?”
“Oh, uh, sure,” Emmett said.
“Cool, awesome, great,” Lindsey said. “When works for you? Like, Friday?”
Wait, what was happening? Why did he always automatically say yes to everything? He should really be focusing more on the conversation. He couldn’t just say yes. He couldn’t go out with Lindsey. She was nice, but...
“Emmett? Is Friday good?”
Emmett shook his head and set the granola bars on her desk. “Actually, I can’t. Sorry, Lindsey. I don’t know what I was thinking. I...can’t.”
“Oh...” Lindsey said slowly, still playing with her Funkos. “When we were talking at Jill’s engagement party and you were talking about how you were ready to get back out there, I thought maybe you meant...”
“I’m sorry, Lindsey. That’s not what I meant. I mean, that is what I meant, but I, uh, I like somebody else.” Emmett had to get out of this conversation. He looked for a good exit segue but found none. “Uh, see you at the meeting.”
He went straight back to his cubicle and grabbed his phone. Suddenly he knew what he wanted to say.
Emmett: Can we go out to dinner tonight?
Tobey: This is Cosmo cus Tobey is driving. He says that sounds great.
Emmett: hi, Cosmo. Great. That’s great. Six?
Tobey: Sure thing. Meet us at the death trap.
Emmett: Can’t wait.
His anxiety told him that was the wrong thing to say, but for once he didn’t care. It was what he felt, and he wanted Tobey to know.
~
Emmett alternated between tapping his hands on the wheel of the van and gripping it until his knuckles turned white. Kate and Benny were doing some sort of screech-singing in the back seat, Benny’s accompanied by jerky dance moves that distracted Emmett every time he looked in the rearview mirror.
The drive to the MacLeod house felt too short for once. He didn’t have time to catch his breath. He had over-prepared what he was going to say. Just act natural.
Cosmo was kicking around a soccer ball in the front yard. Benny started waving and screaming louder. Cosmo looked up and waved.
“Tobey’s in the back of the house,” he said as they got out of the van.
“Cos! Hi, how are you!” Benny said.
“Hey, Benny,” Cosmo said.
“You kids wait out here for a sec, I’m going to talk to Tobey,” Emmett said.
Cosmo was already kicking the ball toward Benny.
Emmett wiped the sweat from the palms of his hands onto his slacks. His shirt was wrinkled from the drive. He pushed his hair out of his face. Dragged a few locks back over his wide forehead.
The house still felt haunted. He walked as quickly as he could down the narrow hallway. “Tobey?” he called.
“Back here,” he said.
Emmett found him in the kitchen, halfway under the sink. Tobey dragged himself up and out when Emmett said, “Uh, hey.” Tobey had taken off his shirt in the stifling heat of this room.
“Oh, hi, Emmett. Is it six already?”
“Yep,” Emmett said.
Tobey’s muscles rippled as he reached for his t-shirt. “Sorry I’m a mess. I didn’t expect to get my hands dirty today, but then I figured I’d check out the pipes and see how the septic system works, and...I got carried away. I do that sometimes.”
“Uh, so I talked to Rhonda about watching the kids...”
“Oh, yeah, Cosmo said she had offered to take them to the pool sometime. That’s really nice of her,” Tobey said.
“Yeah, but, uh, about tonight...”
Tobey yelled over Emmett’s shoulder. “Cosmo, it’s time to go! The Trans are taking us out to dinner!”
“I haven’t forgotten!” Cosmo’s voice came from without.
Emmett choked.
“You all right?” Tobey asked.
“Yeah, fine, just...hot,” Emmett said.
“Then let’s get out of here.”
“Yeah.”
Tobey thought this was a family affair. He hadn’t interpreted it as a date. In retrospect, Emmett could see how the error could be made. He should speak up, correct him, but his voice caught in his throat. The sight of Tobey, casually pulling his shirt over his head, was too distracting.
But they were just friends, getting together for dinner with their kids. That’s what Tobey thought. Nothing to be flustered or nervous or anxious about. Emmett should forget all about that kiss. Tobey seemed more than happy to put it behind them.
“So Cosmo and I will follow you into town in the truck?” Tobey was saying as they walked back out of the house.
“Uh, I was thinking we could all ride together, so, uh, Cosmo and Benny would have longer to catch up. There’s plenty of room in the van.” He was actually thinking so he could drop off Benny and Cosmo and Kate at Rhonda’s more easily, but this was a good excuse. He could text Rhonda later about the misunderstanding.
“That could work, I guess,” Tobey said. “You’d have to drive us back up here tonight, though, since the truck’ll be here.”
“No problem,” Emmett said.
“Where are we going to eat?” Benny asked as they climbed in the van. “Can we try out the new Mexican place? Or do we have to go to Pho Sure?”
“Mexican sounds good,” Emmett said. He definitely didn’t need the owners of Pho Sure seeing him with the MacLeods and asking a thousand questions and trying to set Tobey up with their granddaughter. They hadn’t given up trying to set her up with Emmett until the day he had married Megan.
Emmett let the kids dominate the conversation on the ride back into town. It was so much easier to text with Tobey, to self-edit all those uhs before hitting send. So he played it safe and said as little as possible. He was glad this wasn’t a date after all. He’d literally never been on one before. He would be completely lost. And in a small town like this, going out with another man...he couldn’t even imagine the gossip that would ensue.
“You already check in to the motel?” he asked finally.
“Yeah,” Tobey said. “Dropped off our stuff this afternoon.”
“Good drive?”
“Uneventful, so yeah, that counts as good, I suppose,” Tobey said. “Is that the place?”
“Oh, crap, yeah,” Emmett said. He made a sharp turn and ran over the curb in an attempt to hit the turn in for Mas Floutas. Since it was new, the parking lot was full. They had to park in the alley and walk up to the front door, which was already being held open by a large family trying to get in as well.
“I have a feeling it’s going to be a long wait for a table,” Tobey said.
“Is that, uh, okay?” Emmett asked.
“Sure. I’ll squeeze in and get us some margaritas. And Sprites for the kids?”
“Sounds good, thanks,” Emmett said. He sat out on the patio with Kate in his lap. It faced the east, so it was already cooling down, and there was a table with checkers for Cosmo and Benny. Benny was telling Cosmo in great detail about a waterpark she had built in Minecraft, while he was talking over her about how all the cool kids had switched over to Fortnite. She retorted that he must still be building forts in Minecraft then. Benny’s usually skeptical face couldn’t stop smiling, and even Cosmo looked happy. Kate whined to be put down. Emmett set her down, and she practiced pulling up on the big concrete planters.
In the almost hour it took to get seated, Emmett ran into five people he knew. Every one wanted to know who Tobey was and if Cosmo and Benny were good “friends” with a look that said that teenagers were so cute when they started dating. Emmett knew Benny didn’t think of Cosmo like that, but he couldn’t bring it up and knew he couldn’t convince others of it anyway. Everybody wanted to see relationships where there were none.
Fortunately none of them gave Emmett and Tobey second looks. They just said it was nice to meet Tobey and he really must join their book club or the volunteer firefighters or their church. And was Cosmo going to be going to the middle school in the fall? He simply must try out for band and basketball and robotics. And with those smashing good looks, just like his father? He would be a shoo-in for eighth grade class president.
“Yeah, this is not like Chicago at all,” Tobey said with an awkward laugh at Emmett after the fourth introduction.
Emmett just shook his head. He didn’t drink often, and this margarita was making everything slightly blurry, and he didn’t like that. He set his glass down and decided to busy himself chasing Kate around the patio.
When they finally got a table, Kate tried to eat her crayons, and a mariachi band was playing loudly in an effort to be heard over the hundreds of new patrons. Cosmo and Benny stuffed themselves on chips and salsa and didn’t eat their entrees, so Emmett packed them up, and the van smelled like farts and cold rice on the ride home. Emmett was exhausted from the socialization, and he could still hear the maracas shaking in his ears. The thought of having to find something innocuous to talk about with Tobey on the ride to the Death Trap, to avoid the serious topics like what they had been doing for the past three weeks, to speak only about things Benny and Cosmo could hear, seemed unbearable.
So he cleared his throat and spoke up. “It’s already late. How about I, uh, just drop you off at the motel? I can take you back out to the Death Trap tomorrow. Then you don’t have to ride out to the country and back tonight. If that sounds okay.”
Tobey looked back at Cosmo and Benny, who were finally running down on things to say, and Kate, who had fallen asleep with sour cream on her nose. “Yeah, okay, that makes sense.”
A mile later Emmett pulled the van into the gravel parking lot of the motel. The “vacancy” sign flickered on as he cut the engine; the sky was still light blue on one side but turning dark orange and pink on the other. The evening wind was finally starting to pick up.
“Dad, I have to go to the bathroom, real bad,” Benny said.
“Can she run in?” Emmett asked Tobey.
“Sure. Cos, here’s the room key,” Tobey said. He handed it back to his son.
“Race ya,” Cos said to Benny as he climbed out of the back seat.
“Hey, no fair!” Benny shouted after him.
Emmett looked out the windshield at the generic motel room window with the generic, light-blocking drapes and the generic, single-unit air conditioner. He made a weird noise with his lips.
Tobey unbuckled but didn’t move. “Okay so are you mad at me or something?”
Emmett turned to him. “Why would I be mad at you?”
“I don’t know! But you’ve hardly spoken all night. And I feel like you’re avoiding looking at me.”
“No, we’re good,” Emmett said.
Tobey narrowed his eyes at him.
“I just...”
“You just what?”
“I just...somebody asked me out today. A girl at work. She asked me out.”
“I see,” Tobey said. “Well, glad to hear you’re...good for you. Good night, Emmett. See you tomorrow.”
Tobey got out of the van and shut the door behind him as Emmett realized he should not have said that. Or he should have added a lot more.
He glanced back at Kate, still asleep, and jumped out of the car. “Wait, Tobey, hold up a sec.”
Tobey had almost made it to the stairwell, but he stopped and turned around. “Yeah?”
Emmett felt his heart beating like he had been running a marathon to catch up with Tobey, when really he had just jogged a couple steps. “Uh, well, Benny and I are glad you’re back in town for a bit. I mean, I’m really glad you’re back in town.”
“Really? Because it feels like you just invited us out tonight because you felt obligated to, as the only people we know here,” Tobey said, crossing his arms. “I felt like you were trying to shove me at as many people as possible so you could get me out of your hair and get involved in all these activities so I’d be too busy to see you and I’d forget all about—” He stopped abruptly.
Emmett didn’t recall Tobey faltering before. “Forget what?”
Tobey shook his head, avoiding Emmett’s eyes. “You know. That kiss.”
“You want to forget about it?”
“I told you it was a mistake.”
“And I told you before that I didn’t think it was.” Emmett could hear Cosmo and Benny talking above them. He had to talk fast. “When that girl at work asked me out, I said no. I told her I liked someone else.”
Tobey looked at him.
“I’m ready to get back out there. With you. I have been avoiding looking at you all evening because you have those lip things that I would like very much to kiss again,” Emmett said.
“Oh, thank god,” Tobey said. He uncrossed his arms, leaned forward, and kissed Emmett.
Emmett closed his eyes and opened his mouth just enough to keep the kiss from ending too soon. His hands found Tobey’s waist, and it took every bit of strength not to push up the bottom of his t-shirt in the middle of that motel parking lot.
“Uh, Dad?” Benny said from the stairwell.
Emmett was the one to pull back too quickly this time, his eyes snapping open. Benny was still on the stairs, but she coming down them quickly. “Uh, hi, Benny. You ready to go?”
“Uh...”
“Great, let’s go,” Emmett said. He glanced at Tobey. “Tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow,” Tobey said, smiling. “Good night, Em.”
Emmett took Benny’s hand like she was five and led her back to the van. Or maybe she was leading him. He wasn’t thinking perfectly straight yet.
He navigated the back roads leading out of town while he tried to think of how to start the conversation. He wasn’t a great parent, but even he knew that ignoring the situation was a bad idea. “So...how’s it going?” he asked finally.
Benny seemed to understand the horrible introduction to the topic. “I didn’t know you liked boys,” she said.
“Well...now you know,” he said. “Is that...okay with you?”
She scowled. “Did even you love Mom?”
Emmett almost slammed on the breaks. “How could you even ask that? Of course I did. Still do, in a way, I guess.”
“Oh. Okay.” From his rearview mirror he saw her scowl lessen. “Have you kissed”—here she slightly gagged—“any of my other friends’ dads?”
“Nope,” Emmett said.
“Is this why they came back to town? Because Tobey’s your boyfriend?”
“I don’t think so,” Emmett replied. “Anyway, he’s not my boyfriend.” He paused for a minute. “But I do like him.”
“Gross,” Benny said.
“Excuse me?”
“I hope I never want a boyfriend. Is that what kissing is supposed to look like? Are you sure you were doing it right? It looked gross.”
Emmett stifled a laugh. “So do you have any more questions? How do you feel?”
Benny shrugged. “Didn’t Mom always say to wait a day and make sure you know how you feel about something?”
“That’s right, she did. Shall I ask you tomorrow, then?”
“Yes, please.” Benny scowled again and said to herself, “So gross.”