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Kate screamed. Took a deep breath, screamed louder. Laughed. Waddled to the other end of the room and tried it again.
Tobey, on his hands and knees in the parlor, twisted around to see if she was running out of steam yet. Nope. She had been running circles around the MacLeod house since she arrived an hour ago. She loved the way the front rooms echoed now that they had ripped up the carpet. Even more, she loved the way she had learned how to walk and was now working on running.
Tobey wiped a trickle of sweat before it hit his ear and stretched. He’d been on his knees installing this new parquet flooring all afternoon. The windows were open and the sun was streaming through along with a slight breeze. Actually the windows were open because the frames and broken panes had been completely removed a week ago, and the new ones weren’t getting installed until tomorrow.
Tomorrow. The day he was supposed to be going back to Chicago. Classes started in Cosmo’s school district on Friday. Tobey shook the reminder out of his head. Maybe if he just kept not thinking about it, the day wouldn’t come.
“Ope, no you don’t, little girl,” Tobey said, running over to Kate. She had found the front staircase and was already halfway up the second step.
They couldn’t call it the Death Trap anymore. The staircase had been redone and the entire second floor re-laid. But Tobey was pretty sure that fifteen-month-olds weren’t supposed to climb stairs by themselves.
Kate flailed and shrieked. “Dada! No!”
“Tobey. T-t-t-tobey,” he said. She had started calling him “Dada” only a week after they had come back from Chicago. Emmett told him that toddlers did that with all familiar adults, but it still made him feel weird. Even Cosmo didn’t call him Dad.
That was when his phone stopped blasting Journey and started ringing. He put Kate down and unplugged his phone from the speakers. “Hello?”
“You are receiving a call from Chicago Penitentiary. You may be charged for this call. Do you agree to the charges?”
Tobey pressed one. If someone was calling from the jail, that must mean that Timmy didn’t get approved for parole at his hearing last month. He felt a twinge of guilt for not following up on that.
“Please hold while your call is transferred to Chicago penitentiary.”
“Tobey? It’s Timmy,” Timmy said a second later.
“I figured.”
“Thanks for taking my call.”
“No problem. How’s it going?”
“Not so great,” Timmy said.
Kate was starting up the stairs again. Tobey grabbed her with one hand, and she started screeching again.
“What was that?” Timmy asked.
“Nothing. I’m babysitting.” He set her on the patio and blocked her path by standing in the front doorway. “What’s wrong?”
“Have you heard from Mom lately?”
“No.”
“She missed her last two visits.”
“To see you? That’s not so unusual. She can’t always get a ride.”
“But she always answers my calls,” Timmy said. “And I’ve tried three times. She won’t answer. I’m worried, Tobe.”
Obviously, or you wouldn’t be wasting your one phone call this week on me. Dragging me into the family drama. “I’m sure wherever she is, she’ll be fine. She always comes back on the grid eventually.”
“Can’t you just drop by her place, make sure she’s okay?”
Tobey grimaced. “I can’t. I’m in Ohio right now.”
“What? Again?”
“Yeah. Again. Cos and I have been here all summer.” Kate had found a weed growing between the boards and was trying to pluck it.
“Oh, that’s why you haven’t been by.”
“Correct.”
“Can’t you come home and check on Mom? Please? For me?”
Tobey tried not to get frustrated. “Not right now. I’m kinda busy out here.”
“Busy? With what? Ohhhh.” Timmy laughed. “Did you find a girl while you were out there? What’s her name? Does she have a bike? Is Molly jealous?”
“Oh my god, Timmy, for the hundredth time, I’m gay,” Tobey said, rubbing in between his eyes.
“We’re identical,” Timmy said for the hundredth time. “So if I’m into chicks, you must be into chicks.”
“I have a boyfriend,” Tobey shouted into the phone. He took a deep breath. His brother liked to get him riled up, and it worked every time. “Have Uncle Joe call Mom. Or even Molly. I’m not driving all the way to Chicago just for your peace of mind.” He hung up. Timmy’s time was almost up anyway, and he didn’t need Timmy getting in the last word.
His phone went back to playing Journey, but quieter in his hand. He paused it. “Don’t Stop Believin’” wasn’t exactly a great follow up to a conversation with his brother. Tobey felt overcome with guilt. He was supposed to be going back to Chicago anyway. The least he could do was drive by his mom’s. He shouldn’t have yelled at Timmy.
“Ummm, hey,” Emmett said, stepping onto the porch.
“Dada!” yelled Kate.
“Hey, I didn’t hear you come up,” Tobey said, shoving his phone into his back pocket.
“Yeah, you were yelling to somebody on your phone.”
“My brother,” Tobey said.
Emmett bent over to pick up Kate. “Did I hear you, uh, call me your boyfriend? Or do you have a boyfriend back in Chicago I don’t know about?”
Tobey ran his hand across his hair and cleared his throat. “I was talking about you. Not that I meant you were my boyfriend, because—”
“I know, you’re going back to Chicago.”
“Right. Back to Chicago. Cosmo safely delivered to Rhonda’s?”
“Yup. And despite how he was mouthing off to you earlier today, I think he’s actually excited about their sleepover.”
“I’m pretty excited about our sleepover too,” Tobey said, smiling.
“This is why Cosmo is such a jerk to you lately. He doesn’t want to hear about us getting it on.”
“What? I only mentioned it, like, three times.” Tobey shrugged with feigned exaggeration.
“Benny’s going to figure it out, if Cosmo hasn’t already explained it to her, and it’s going to freak her out, and I can’t handle that, so please tone it down when they get back tomorrow,” Emmett said. He kissed Tobey.
“Fine,” Tobey said. “I’ll tone it down. But not tonight. I’m turning it up tonight.” He hooked his finger under Emmett’s waistband and pulled him closer.
Emmett blushed more deeply. “Anyway, I don’t know about being a grown-up. I feel like a stupid teenager a lot recently.”
“Is it because I remind you of a young Johnny Depp?” Tobey asked, puckering his lips like a drunk Jack Sparrow and raking his hand through his hair. It had grown out over an inch over the summer. “Do you feel like you’re in the original 21 Jumpstreet?”
“Not Johnny Depp, no,” Emmett said with a smile. “Maybe Bradley Cooper with short hair.”
“Bradley Cooper, eh? I’ll take it,” Tobey said.
Emmett shifted Kate on his hip. “Rhonda would have been okay with keeping Kate tonight too.”
“Trust me, a teen and a preteen are plenty for one night,” Tobey said. “I don’t want to make her resent me before she’s even met me.”
“Which, why haven’t you let me introduce you yet?” Emmett asked.
“Let’s go, I’m tired of laying this stupid floor,” Tobey said.
“Why are you avoiding the question again?” Emmett said.
“I’m not avoiding the question. I’m hungry.” He grabbed Emmett’s arm and pulled him to the van.
“Tobey.”
Tobey let go and shrugged. “Because. I don’t know. It’s like introducing me to your parents. And I’ve never met anybody’s parents before. That’s what you do with your boyfriend. And anyway she’s not even your mom, she’s Megan’s mom, so she’s going to start out not liking me.”
“She’s gonna love you. She’s already heard all good things from Benny and Jesse and Abby. And you’re the one who called me your boyfriend to your brother.”
“I was speaking in the heat of the moment, defending my homosexuality to my dipshit brother,” Tobey said defensively. “Now can we go?”
Emmett let it go. He buckled Kate and took the driver’s seat.
During the ride back, Tobey told Emmett all about his phone call with Timmy. It was easy to talk about, especially compared to talking about words like “boyfriend.” He couldn’t believe he had let that slip, that he had been thinking of Emmett as his boyfriend for a couple of weeks now.
“Maybe I should go check on my mom after all,” Tobey said. “She’s getting older now, and her brother isn’t really that reliable for making sure she’s all right. He’s more likely to sell her an ounce than anything.”
“Drive four hours just to go by her house, when you said yourself she always shows back up? That sounds overboard to me,” Emmett said. “You can call Molly tomorrow if you’re really worried.”
“Right, I’ll call Molly. She’ll be mad, but she’ll listen,” Tobey said. He shook his head. “My family is so messed up.”
“Nobody’s family is perfect.”
“Your family is.”
“Not perfect. Surely not knowing your dad at all is better than knowing he ran off with his dental hygienist. And then teenage you is left to take care of three little sisters and a bitter old lady whose only form of communication is screaming in Vietnamese.”
“I’ll admit we both have daddy issues, but let’s not spend the night comparing whose family is worse,” Tobey said. “Because I’d totally win.”
“Fine,” Emmett said with a laugh.
Kate was crying by the time they arrived back at Emmett’s house. “I guess she really did wear herself out,” Tobey commented, carrying her in from the van.
“Dinner and then bedtime for you, baby,” Emmett said, giving Kate a boop on the nose and holding the front door open for Tobey. “Dada and I have naughty stuff to be doing while you’re asleep.”
“Now who’s being shameless?” Tobey said, nudging Emmett with his elbow on his way past.
“She’s fifteen months old,” Emmett protested. “What’s she going to know?”
“Dada,” Kate cried. Then she leaned forward and puked all over Tobey.
“Oh. Oh no. I don’t do puke,” Tobey said, holding her away from himself.
Emmett held up his hands. “Me either.”
“She’s your kid!” Tobey shoved her at Emmett just as she threw up again.
Emmett put his hand up to this nose and tried not to gag.
Kate cried harder, puke and snot dripping out of her nose.
“Okay, okay,” Tobey stuttered, “I’ll take her to the bath and...I dunno, what are you supposed to do in a situation like this, hose her down like a dog?” He paused, looking at the puddle on the floor of the entryway. “Maybe we should call Rhonda.”
“No, we’re grown-ass men, we can handle this,” Emmett said, still holding his hand up and breathing through his mouth to avoid the worst of the smell. “Oh, shit, it’s on my pants. I’m going to throw up.”
“Not on me,” Tobey said. “For the love of god, I’ll never look at you the same if you throw up on me.”
Emmett nodded and made a dash for the kitchen.
Somehow Tobey made it up the stairs and into the bathroom with Kate. By the time he had stripped them both down and bathed Kate, she was burning up and couldn’t stop crying. He bundled her in a towel and took her downstairs.
“How’s she?” Emmett asked. He had stripped down to his boxers, and the washing machine was already running.
“She has a fever now. I’ve never dealt with a sick baby before. I don’t know what to do,” Tobey said, a little panicky.
“Yet as usual, you’re handling it like a pro,” Emmett said, putting a reassuring hand on Tobey’s shoulder. “I’ll get her some Tylenol if you put your dirty clothes in the washer.”
“Got it.” Tobey handed her off.
“Dada,” Kate cried, reaching out for him.
“Let Daddy take you for a minute, honey,” Tobey said. He kissed her hot forehead and ran back upstairs.
“Grab her some pajamas while you’re at it,” Emmett called.
Kate screamed for Tobey until he got back to the kitchen. “Please don’t throw up on me again,” he said as he took her back.
“So what’s for dinner?” Emmett asked.
“You know, I’ve lost my appetite,” Tobey said, the smell of regurgitated milk lingering.
“Me too,” Emmett said. “Maybe we’ll try again in an hour or so?”
“Sure,” Tobey said.
They wandered into the living room together, and Tobey sat down with Kate. “Do you wanna watch something?” Emmett asked. He flipped on the television. But there were limited channels, and everything was on commercials.
“No cable I understand, but you don’t even have Netflix?” Tobey said. “This is ridiculous.”
“Crazy as it sounds, I haven’t really had time to watch television in the past year,” Emmett said. “And since I’ve had to cut down on frivolous expenses, it was the first thing to go. Benny was upset at first, but she plays her video games instead.”
“No, really? She plays video games? I hadn’t noticed.” Tobey gave a dramatic gasp that startled Kate, and she started crying again. “Crap.”
Emmett crouched down and looked at the entertainment shelves. “We have Frozen and The Lego Movie and Mulan.”
“Cosmo loved The Lego Movie, but I think I’m good,” Tobey said. “Are those really my only options?”
“Aha, Back to the Future,” Emmett said, pulling out a dusty DVD case.
“Oh yeah,” Tobey said. “Classic.”
Emmett put in the disc and settled in next to Tobey, and once the medicine kicked in Kate finally fell sleep on Tobey’s shoulder. Her deep breathing reminded Tobey of the night three months ago when he had met Emmett. He had held her without even knowing her name. Now she called him “Dad” and preferred him to Emmett.
Emmett leaned over and rested his head on Tobey’s free shoulder.
“Em?”
“Mmm?”
“Is this what it’s like to be in a relationship? Watching a corny PG movie with a sick kid in your lap instead of having a nice dinner and sex later?”
“You’re the one who insisted it was fine to leave Kate with us,” Emmett reminded him.
“I’d like to officially change my mind.”
“Too late,” Emmett said. “And yes, this is what it’s like to be in a relationship, a lot of the time.”
“Then relationships suck,” Tobey said.
“Au contraire,” Emmett replied. “I remember a lot of crazy nights like this with Megan and Benny. They were totally worth it. And you know what?” He turned his head a little to rub his nose against Tobey’s biceps and then kiss him lightly. “I have a feeling I’m going to look back on this night and only feel good things about it.”
“Really?” Tobey said skeptically.
“Really,” Emmett said. He kissed Tobey’s arm and then up to his neck and under his ear. He wrapped his arm around both Tobey and Kate and pulled himself as close as he could without waking her up.
Tobey closed his eyes to block out everything except the feel of Emmett’s lips against his skin. He inhaled deeply, held it. Exhaled slowly. But his heart was still beating too fast. “Can I tell you something?” he said.
“Anything,” Emmett said between kisses.
“Sometimes I want you so much I can’t breathe. I feel things for you that I didn’t even know it was possible to feel for a person. Like I’m burning up from the inside out, and I don’t care if it kills me.”
Emmett stopped.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“You’ve told me a hundred times that you have to go back to Chicago. You can’t stay here forever,” Emmett said.
“Why can’t I?” Tobey whispered. “I want to stay. For once I’d like to do what I want to do, instead of what I should do.”
“I’m not the one telling you to go,” Emmett reminded him. “I’m the one who kissed you first. I’m the one who asked you to sleep with me. When I said Cosmo needed more space, I meant I’d get him a bed and move stuff out of Kate’s room for him. You’re the one who went back to Chicago for a week, who went back to the motel.”
“I know,” Tobey said. “But I have to go back. I have responsibilities in Chicago. Molly and the shop. My family.”
“Your family needs to learn to stand on their own feet and not have you rescue them from their own messes. And if Molly really cares about you like you say she does, she’ll understand if you stay here a while longer.”
“Cosmo’s life is in Chicago.”
“Is it? He seems to like it pretty well here. He even has made some friends in town. And last time I checked, the school here takes transfers, even from fancy cities like Chicago.”
Tobey sighed. “I know. I just...”
Emmett sat up to look at him better. “Just what?”
“Staying here, with you, isn’t the plan. You’re supposed to make a plan, and put the plan into action. You don’t have a plan, things go to shit. You do have a plan, things run smoothly. It worked in the army, it works in real life.”
“I can tell you from personal experience that life doesn’t go to plan. Like, ever,” Emmett said.
“I really like you, Emmett,” Tobey said. “But the last time I changed my entire life because of a boy, I was adopting Cosmo. And that was a really rocky transition. I didn’t think I’d have to do something like that again.”
“Please don’t adopt me, that would be weird.”
“No, not adopt,” Tobey said with a small laugh. “But I think I’d like something more.”
“I’d like that too,” Emmett said. “If you’re going to stay.”
“I shouldn’t,” Tobey said.
“What if I asked you to?”
Tobey brushed his lips across Kate’s hair and didn’t look at him.
“And on the pragmatic side of things, you only just got the grant money for the Death Trap, so you have to stay and use it. You don’t want to have to hire some kind of site manager, or trust Jesse to make the repairs himself.”
Tobey smiled a little. “That’s definitely why I need to stay. No other reason.”
“So you’ll stay? Here?”
“I can’t. Not without talking to Cosmo first, see what he thinks. I promised not to make decisions without consulting him. If he wants to stick to the plan, we’ll go back.”
“That seems fair,” Emmett said. “But I have a feeling he’ll be okay with staying.”
Tobey tilted his head toward Emmett’s. “And...you’ll be my boyfriend?”
“I think I’d like that,” Emmett said.
“Yeah, I think I’d like that too,” Tobey said.
Tobey reached around Kate to brush his thumb on Emmett’s jaw. Emmett twisted around to reach his lips, and Tobey kissed them.
Emmett pulled back after a second. “Now that we have that settled, can we watch this movie? I haven’t seen it in years.”
Tobey nodded slightly and rested his head on Kate’s. His hand found Emmett’s hand on the couch cushion, and Emmett squeezed his hand tightly and didn’t let go.
The next thing Tobey knew, Emmett was shaking him awake. “Let’s go to bed,” he said.
“Hm, what?” Toby said. “I need to find out if they make it back to the future.”
“The movie’s over,” Emmett said.
Tobey looked down at realized his arms were empty. “Kate?”
“Don’t worry, I got her,” Emmett said. “I’m taking her upstairs.”
Tobey managed to pull himself up from the couch and shuffled down the hall to the bedroom. He threw himself on the bed and pulled the covers over his head. He liked how it smelled like Emmett.
A moment later Emmett slid in next to him and wrapped his arm around Tobey.
“Mmmm, hi,” Tobey said sleepily. “Kate okay?”
“So far so good,” Emmett said.
“You wanna...?” Tobey asked, starting to roll over to face Emmett.
“Not right now, go back to sleep,” Emmett said.
“M’kay. Night.”
“Good night.”
Tobey woke up at four a.m. to the sound of Kate screaming. He slipped out from under Emmett and went upstairs to check on her. She was hot again, so he gave her some more Tylenol. She was restless and pitiful, but she clearly wanted to be with him, so he held her and crawled back into bed next to Emmett.
Tobey recalled how his foray into fatherhood had begun: twenty-two, fresh out of the military, trying to accept that he wasn’t suited to the conventional married life everybody around him seemed to be gravitating toward. And then Timmy’s and Bethany’s lives had taken a sharp downward turn, CPS had taken Cosmo into care, and Tobey knew that he was the one that his two-year-old nephew needed. He had been in over his head. He had told himself he would never, ever, go through something as traumatic as toddlerhood again. He could never have imagined that he would be here, eleven years later, willingly kissing the feverish forehead of his boyfriend’s daughter.
The room was dark save for the dim, blue light of the screen saver on Emmett’s two monitors. Tobey’s propensity for tidiness had worked its way into this room as well as the rest of the house. The floor was free of dirty items and toys. The desk and side table had been dusted.
Tobey made sure Emmett’s clothes made it to and from the laundry and safely back into one of the dressers. In addition, most of Tobey’s clothes had gravitated from his suitcase in the motel room to being neatly folded in the other dresser. Tobey suspected that it had been Megan’s dresser, but they didn’t mention it. If he spent all of his time in this house speculating what had belonged to Megan or had a memory of Megan attached to it, he would never set foot in the house again. And Tobey wanted to stay here.
Again he must have dozed off because before Tobey knew it, it was seven o’clock and Kate had wriggled off his chest and nestled between him and Emmett. Emmett was sprawled out across much of the bed on his chest, his arms stretched up under the pillows. Tobey ran a hand through his hair but was afraid to do more and wake him. Instead he got up and hung the laundry on the line and then came in and started breakfast.
The eggs were being plated when Emmett came out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes and yawning. “You didn’t wake me up,” he said.
“Why do you sound surprised?” Tobey asked.
“I don’t know. I thought with Kate being sick and the mess of last night you’d want me up to take care of chores or something.”
“I got it covered,” Tobey said, handing Emmett a plate.
“You take too good care of me, of my whole family,” Emmett said. “I never ask for your help, but you give it anyway.”
“I’m a saint, I know,” Tobey said. “Eat now, worship me later. Don’t you have to be at work in twenty minutes?”
Emmett shook his head as he dug into his food. “I called in sick.”
“Awesome,” Tobey said. “The whole morning to ourselves.” He leaned over Emmett and started kissing his neck.
Emmett made happy noises around his full mouth.
Tobey’s hands made their way across Emmett’s bare chest and were working their way downward.
Then a mechanically excited voice shouted, “Let’s play!”
“What the crap?” Emmett said.
“Quack! Quack! What does the duck say?”
They heard Kate laughing behind the closed bedroom door. “Wack wack!”
Tobey facepalmed into Emmett’s shoulder blades.
Emmett put his fork down. “I thought you got rid of that stupid toy.”
“You can’t just put electronic devices in the trash. I hid it under your bed until I could go to the recycle center.”
“Good job!” the mechanical voice said, and then it launched into the alphabet.
“My desire for you is seriously diminished,” Tobey said.
“This is one hundred percent your fault,” Emmett said. “You should have at least taken out the batteries.”
“I hate myself,” Tobey said.
Emmett grabbed Tobey’s hands and pushed them farther under his waistband. “We can salvage this. You stick Kate and the abhorrent creature in her crib. We probably won’t be able to hear it from there.”
“We can do that?” Tobey asked.
“Yes, we can,” Emmett said. “We have a few more hours before we have to pick up Benny and Cosmo, and we’re going to make the most of it. Your boyfriend demands it.”
“Demands, eh? I didn’t know boyfriends came with demands,” Tobey said.
“Good job!” the mechanical voice said. “Let’s sing it again!”