SEAT CHANGE: HAN SIX
we draw numbers
picking slips of folded paper
from Ōshima-sensei’s box
matching them
to a map of desks
to find our han—
the group we’ll
sit with
clean with
study with
for the next
two months
I hope for at least
one friend
and by friend
I don’t mean
what I used to mean by friend
before I moved to Japan
before I started here
at this school once called
Dragon’s Mouth
by friend I just mean
anyone who doesn’t
punch me
for using the wrong word
kick me
for having an accent
or call me
stinking foreigner
but this time
I get no friends
I get
Shunta
Gō
Yuki
Naho
and Mika
Shunta being the one
who hurled a chair
out the classroom
balcony door
Gō being the one
who hit my friend Yōhei
above his left eye
requiring stitches
Naho and Yuki
being the girls
all the other girls
are afraid of
and Mika being the one
who cuts everyone down
with her sword-sharp
words
as we push desks
into position
Mika points
to her seat
beside mine
checks the map
says no way!
next to the stinking foreigner?
and they all laugh
she keeps a gap
between her desk
and mine
across from me
Gō slides his desk back
to do the same
kids from all
the other han
point
murmur
stare
I expect Ōshima-sensei to help—
separate my han members
divide them up
spread them out
save me
but he frowns
says
I expect no trouble
from han six
he seems to think
I can fend for myself
since I’m a year older
having repeated a grade
when we moved to Japan
but being a year older
in grade six
in this school
in this out-of-the-way
seaside neighborhood
where hardly anyone
isn’t Japanese
makes me even more different
than I already am
even more the nail
that sticks out
just waiting
to be hammered down
in two periods of science
with Takata-sensei in the lab—
I have ninety minutes to think
on how to survive
nearly two whole months
in han six
Yōhei, Shō, Ken, and I
take plant specimens to our station
slice across stems, set them in water
for observing changes day by day
I laugh with Yōhei like he expects me to
write observations like I’m supposed to do
draw diagrams like we’re told to
but I feel sick
watching Shunta and Gō
across the room
waving cutter knives
making nicks in the desktop
and dicing an eraser
into smaller
and smaller
pieces
lunch is in the classroom
back with han six
eating chicken stuff on rice
salad with cucumbers
and a mikan orange
trying to chew
and swallow
surrounded by
Shunta
Gō
Yuki
Naho
and Mika
Naho eats her mikan fast
and wants another
so I give her mine
thinking
maybe I can change her mind
about foreigners
Naho stares at my mikan
sitting on her tray
I don’t like fruit I explain
but she says iyada!—no way!
won’t take it
won’t touch it
tells Mika to remove it
from her tray
which Mika does
with thumb and finger
then throws it to Shunta
who puts it in his pocket
and says he’ll
feed it to his dog
I don’t finish my rice
can’t finish my rice
knowing my day
will only get worse
because after lunch is
cleaning
upstairs in the music room
no teacher
just me with
Shunta
Gō
Yuki
Naho
and Mika