GYŌZA
after school
I peel away from Shō and Ken
and walk the opposite way
to the after-school center
just up the street
from our school
on Wednesdays second graders
are let out after lunch recess
but sixth graders have school till three thirty
so Cora waits for me there
now that Mom has afternoon
university classes
the after-school center is really just a house
but a house with empty rooms
and some toys lying on open floors
or stacked against beat-up walls
two women who work there
stay mostly in an office
like a closet with a window
from where they watch the kids
the first time we visited, Mom said
you don’t play with the kids?
oh, no they said it’s very free here!
children can do what they want!
no games, crafts, or activities? Mom asked
oh, we do crafts twice each term
we send notices to the school
but the rest of the time they can play—
it’s very free!
free
is a word
that we’ve learned
has a different meaning
in English than
in Japanese
in Japanese
free seems to mean
what Mom calls
unchecked mayhem
when I arrive at the after-school center
Cora is waiting in the entryway
with her shoes on before
I’ve even signed her out
she’s quiet till we reach the hill
then she says don’t tell Mom
tell Mom what? I ask
that I hate the kids there! she says
then adds they call me gyōza
gyōza?—dumpling?
I laugh
why gyōza?
her eyes start tearing
as she holds out her arm
pointing at the veins
I’m like gyōza—
they can see through
my skin to the stuff inside
I tell her
at least it’s a name
of something that tastes good
and that they’re just not used
to different types of skin
I tell her
we’ll have our adventure
in the park across the town line
the one past the water tower
with the good swings
I tell her
we’ll take cardboard for sliding
cardboard boxes that will
fly on the dry grass
just like sleds
and Cora wipes her arm
across her eyes
okay she says
we walk to the park on the hill
beyond the water tower
with a folded
cardboard box each
and we run up and slide down
the wide brown grassy hill
until our hair is
wet from sweat
then after a while Cora makes a friend
and they slide together
then go off to play house
under a tree
and I lie back on the cardboard
stare at the veins
on the insides of my arms
and laugh
I never thought of us
as gyōza