EFFORT
it’s calmer in han six now
and I think it’s probably because
I didn’t rat on anyone about my
broom-smacked head
I hold my center in class
stay focused at my desk
on my work sheets
and on the members
of han six
always ready
to divert a punch
or duck a hit
Ōshima-sensei
is going on and on these days
about why he thinks judo
like kendo
is a good thing
because nowadays
they are holding judo classes
in middle schools
including our own
local middle school
I don’t say it out loud
but I want to know
why not aikido?
in aikido we’re getting ready
to perform the moves we’ll do
next month in a full-day
demonstration
there aren’t really meets
or competitions in aikido
just a show of how far
we’ve advanced in a year
hundreds of kids
of all sizes in white gi
and all colored belts
holding their centers
so …
why not aikido?
they say you can’t start a fight
with aikido
only finish one
you can’t really attack
or punch
or kick
you just push
or pull
or twist
to turn the energy
and throw the other person
off center
at the dojo
some kids think
that the chanting
and the breathing
and the silence
at the beginning
is dull and boring
but that’s when I know
I’ve shed my problems
left them all
with my pile of clothes
in the changing room
when I tie the belt
when I kneel at the threshold
when I bow to the sensei
before the framed calligraphy for
ki—氣—life force, energy
when I’m prepared to practice the moves
all of Dragon’s Mouth
disappears
on weekends I can easily
get up early for aikido
get up early for family hikes
or a museum or watching Cora
but during the week
I hate getting out of bed
Mom says I’m uneven lately
asks me what’s going on
tries to talk to me
tells me to make a list
of the parts of my week
from best to worst
like days of the week? I ask
like activities, school
tutoring, English group
everything she says
so here’s my week
in a list
best to worst
aikido
weekend hikes and stuff
English group
Friday soccer
babysitting Cora
tutor time
dinner
breakfast
homework
school
then she says
now do the same with school
break it down
best to worst
so I do
and write
science
everything else
she says
explain
I shrug
what can I say?
it’s not like I have a choice
to go or not go
to that school
there’s nothing to explain I say
she sighs and gives up
on trying to get me to talk
and says I think you need to make
more effort, Jason Parker
on Monday after school
when Mom and Cora
pick me up for English group
Mom eyes me
before she puts the car
in drive
but nothing major happened
just a couple of head whacks
and one slam into a wall
so I look out the window
and soon fall asleep
at English group
I can forget it all
even if we’re learning
about entrepreneurs
their failures
their successes
at least we get to eat
chocolate bars
as we study
Milton Hershey
and chew on
milk caramels
as we study
Taichiro Morinaga
thinking about
benefits, costs
risks, and rewards
the English group homework
is to think like an entrepreneur
and come up with a good or service
and a complete business plan
Cora and Mom
talk all the way home
and all through dinner
Mom keeps saying
what about you, J?
what are your ideas?
but honestly
I’m thinking more like
an inventor
than an entrepreneur
thinking I need to create
an invisible helmet for my head
and special glasses
for seeing 360 degrees
my idea
I finally say
is a program for
aikido in every neighborhood
aikido in every school
Mom gives me a long look
I’m listening, J
whenever you want to talk
about what?
I quickly say
because I can’t imagine
life would get better
if Mom talked to
Ōshima-sensei
and stirred things up
in the Dragon’s Mouth
things are fine I say
I just need to make
more effort