SEAT CHANGE
I don’t have to
but I do
I return to school
to the Dragon’s Mouth
I can leave
when I want
switch to international school
when I want
Mom and Dad will find the money
somehow, they’ve said
but I’m thinking
I’ve worked hard
to read and write
Japanese
and I’m thinking
I have the right to graduate
with my sixth-grade class
in March
and I’m thinking
maybe I can start
to make things change
for others
Shunta and Gō
have been suspended
so when I return to school
on the Tuesday after
han six is me
plus three girls
who avoid
meeting my eyes
and the first
order of business
is seat change
but this time we don’t
draw slips of paper
this time Ōshima-sensei
calls out our names
and tells us where to sit
and this time
all six members
of han six
are split up
finally Ōshima-sensei talks about bullying
that it’s not just groups against one person
but also one or two against one person
and that three types of bullying are
verbal
social
physical
and that all three were used in our class
plus
damage of property
he says we all
need to reflect
and improve
he says
think about whether
or when you have been
bully
victim
or bystander
still there is no talk of
rules for
no hitting
or hands off
but school is basically calm
like a normal school day
should be
Cora and I go to Daiki’s
on Wednesday
to start his English lessons
so he can move to Hawaii
he thinks I’m crazy to keep going
to my school but I tell him
that we reminded teachers, the PTA
even the police of his situation
I tell him we told them
that too many people
in the school, including adults
have been bystanders of bullying
I tell him the town is in the spotlight
and things have to change
Daiki says right
wait till those two guys
are back in school
then see how you feel
I tell him I’ll let him know
then we get started on English
and discover he’s been studying
plenty while he’s on his own
and actually is pretty good
Cora and I try to help him sound more natural
help him put words he knows into sentences
help him talk less like a teacher or textbook
we both want things
to be easier for him
in his school in Hawaii
we both know
what it’s like
not to have enough words
and we all know
it’s hard enough
just being different
then near the end of our “lesson” Daiki says
you both study in an English group, right?
do you think I could go, too?
and after that, on Mondays
Mom picks up Cora and me
and then Daiki
to go to English group
and Daiki doesn’t understand
all our words
but he learns fast
starts to trust the group
and likes how the olders
just accept him
no big deal
and how the youngers
act like he’s some
really cool
older brother
one day
and another go by
and inside the Dragon’s Mouth
my head is not smacked
and my body is not slammed
and I feel like I can ride my bike
through any neighborhood
again
I can’t do aikido
until my rib is healed
which is after the
demonstration day
I’d practiced so hard for
but I visit the dojo
and Yamada-sensei
makes me promise
to consult him if I ever
have problems again
he says aikido
is not a superpower
I should never think
I’m some superhero
just because I do aikido
he says we need to train
so that we sense danger
in order to avoid it
as we talk, kneeling in the dojo
all quiet before the students arrive
he says aikido is not
just to defend against attackers
but also to defend against stress
that aikido is training of body and mind
finding harmony and forgiveness
the world is full of all kinds of people
and some of them are a bit lost he says
but keep in mind the saying
‘sow good and the harvest will be good’
he looks at me
we have to try he says
Yamada-sensei asks me
if I want to continue my training
and I say I do
he asks if I’d like to help
with the beginner classes
while I’m healing
and maybe even after
and I bow
as far as my cracked rib
allows
because of course
I do