BALANCE AND PERSPECTIVE
the next day the fire
is the talk of the school
han six is distracted
and Yuki is silent
never once
whacking me on the head
without han six moving my desk
or making marks on my papers
I can even hand in work early
and place it on the pile of papers
weighted by a bronze dragon
that’s been in this classroom
twenty years, so they say
the subject of the fire
comes up again and again
so finally Ōshima-sensei says
to write a reflective essay
or make a newspaper page
or sketch pictures of the fire
or do anything else to reflect
so I draw
the house and flames far upriver
and in the foreground, huge
a single plastic
garden sandal
Shunta snorts when he sees it
makes loud fun of it
and I expect the usual
bruising punch to my arm
I try to protect myself
find and hold my center
but the blow comes
from behind—Gō
my head rings
I want to punch back
but Shō and Yōhei always say
don’t!
it will get worse if you do
just hold on until next seat change
but seat change
is seven weeks away
seat change is not
until the end of November
my head throbs
but I pretend to laugh along
with Shunta and his gang
all crowded over my desk
poking fun at my drawing
my opponents
my attackers
too close
I want it to be five o’clock
I want to be at the dojo
chanting
stretching my neck
bending my wrists
rolling over the mats
forward and back
and falling, dropping
flipping, being flipped
the slip, slip
of feet on the tatami
with Yamada-sensei’s voice
guiding us through moves
to evade strikes
to turn opponents
and get into safe places
but Shunta and Gō breathe
salty lunch smells on me
and start to scribble
right on my sketch
I know better than to act
as if I care
then I get an idea
and say
why yes, a dirty sandal
probably just trash
in a stiff, adult voice
yet this object
gives the painting
balance and perspective
foreground and background
imitating, more or less
the words of our art teacher
and it works—
they snort-laugh
and back away
just enough for me to stand
roll my sketch
have a look at
and pretend interest in
whatever the others drew
Shunta’s mass of licking flames
Naho’s eyeball with reflected flames
Gō’s scratches he calls smoke
Mika’s manga that she hides
when she sees me looking
my head hurts
from Gō’s smack
and I hate
Mika’s glare
but I did it
I turned the opponent’s energy
I controlled the opponent’s center