ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE...
Rocky sits with her hands folded together on top of a brand new pad of lined white paper, eyes closed, meditating. It is so quiet and calm here at the hospital, much better than she had thought it would be. So quiet, in fact, it seemed an excellent opportunity to get back to work on her memoirs. But first, it is necessary to create the right state of mind, to renew confidence, to tap into the creative forces. She doesn’t know why she allowed Charlie to talk her into hiring a ghostwriter. It is her own story, hers.
She can write it herself — and she will. Beginning with page one. Page one she writes in the upper left hand corner of the page. She underlines it. And again. Then the tip of her pen anchors itself to the center of the page. Sunrise of a Star she writes. Crosses it out. Rocky Love Live! Crosses it out. The Diary of a Mad Wife. Sounds familiar, crosses it out. She can’t think of the right title now; no matter, it will come. She peels away the page and crumbles it into a ball. In the upper left hand corner of a fresh sheet, she writes Page one, underlined. Halfway down the page she poises her pen and begins to think. Then she presses pen to paper and writes.
I am a creature from another world, a child of the universe where stars and moon are peaceable neighbors. With the God-given beauty of light we are siblings gazing down upon the earth. I love you, earth, you are mine as I am yours. Now, to the story of how I came to be. Humanity. This form of human life, the flesh of body, was the armor I wore when I was called to the front lines. But when my voice sailed across my country it was free, free, unfettered by the flesh of my hand holding my pen as I write my story. I look at my fingers curled around my pen and wonder how it knows to form the right words. It is a miracle. This perhaps is the most important thing I can tell you about myself, the miracle of how I came to be the woman you know as Rocky Love.
“Rocky, hello? Anyone home?”
Rocky’s face swivels to a woman standing in front of her, a little old lady carrying a round tin can decorated with a pear surrounded by script letters announcing SWEETS & TREATS.
“Hello, hello?”
“Yes?”
“I baked you a chocolate babka. It’s a little squashed in the can but I thought better that than ants all over the place. You can keep it in your room this way.” The little old lady plops the can on top of page one and brushes her soft cheek against Rocky’s. The perfume is familiar.
“Mom.”
“Do you mind if I sit?” Mabel lowers herself onto one of the unoccupied chairs at Rocky’s table. She does not bother to remove her hat and coat.
“Is Dad here?”
“He’s talking to the doctor. So, what’s new with you?”
“I was just writing my memoirs.”
“Parker, he sends you ‘a thousand kisses.’ His words, not mine.”
“How is he?”
“Having the time of his life, what else? He’s sleeping in Robby’s and Earl’s old room. We bought him all the latest toys. You should see my grandson now. What a boy!”
“Where’s Dad?”
“Didn’t I just tell you? He is with the doctor, Rocky, with the doctor. He’ll be by in a few minutes.”
Rocky nods. “I’ve just been writing my memoirs. Mom, would you like to read the first page?”
Mabel’s face suddenly looks as tight as a raisin. “Later, maybe.”
“I’m going to explain everything,” Rocky says.
Norman walks up behind Mabel. She tugs on his coat sleeve and gives him a long look.
“Hi there, princess.” Norman bends to kiss the top of Rocky’s head. “How are we feeling?”
“We?”
“The doctor says you’re doing well.”
“I started writing my memoirs. Do you want to read the first page?”
“Here.” Mabel removes the top of the can. “It’s pre-cut. Have a piece.” She forces out a piece of babka and proffers it to Rocky.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Then you eat it.” Mabel hands it to Norman.
“Leave this for her. We have plenty to eat at home.” He hands it back to Mabel.
“Well, I can’t fit it back in there now.” Mabel nibbles at the cake. “As good as always. It’s my mother’s recipe. She was always the best baker. Whenever you’re ready for it, Rocky darling, you just let me know.” ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE ROCKY LOVE
“Hello, hello? Anybody at home? What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s tired. We’ll go get some lunch and come back later.”
“Norman, look at her. Is she sleeping? I can’t tell.”
“We’ll come back.” Norman puts his hands on Mabel’s shoulders and nudges her up. “We’ll find a nice place in town for lunch.”
“I’ll ask one of the nurses what’s good. We don’t want to eat just anywhere.” They walk down the long clean hallway together in their autumn coats.
When I was a little girl I used to wonder where I came from. I remember when I found out. When I was four and Nathan was nine, we saw something through a hole in the attic. We were playing in our secret place where we played together all the time. There was a window frame with no window, just a loose old board. We heard some loud sounds of banging, bang bang bang, and being children we were drawn to it. It had to be a monster. Nathan wasn’t sure so he pulled off the loose board and it came off right away. There was a hole in the wall and it looked down into the bedroom where Daddy and his wife stayed. There was a monster on the bed. I was right. I said Nathan, look, I was right. He was already looking and he started to laugh and he said there was no monster, it was just Daddy and Mommy on the bed with no clothes. The bed kept jumping and Daddy was smothering Mommy and I was glad, then I looked at Nathan. I said if he kills her, will we starve? Nathan pushed me aside and put the board back up. He put his arms around me until we were hugging each other on the floor. He said don’t you know where babies come from? Yes! I said. Yes I do! I was born a mineral, a shard of diamond splintered off in the big bang, and when the force of the bang drove me into the earth I multiplied until I was a cave of jewels. They found me and took me home and raised me an orphan in the wrong setting, they did, and I grew as one of them and when my voice sailed across the country it was full of diamonds splintering into the hearts of my audience, and I was free.