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Darby
Mark and I swung by a hamburger joint for a late lunch, then ate on the hood of the Flexion. We shared a companionable silence, though I caught my partner glance in my direction more than once.
I wadded up my wrapper and tossed it in the bag. “You got a problem, Mark?”
He swallowed. “You were with Holly an awful long while.”
“I told her what happened. She wanted to check me out.”
He grunted and turned his focus back to his burger. “That it?”
“Personal stuff.”
Mark bit into his burger.
I looked up at the big, fluffy clouds that could possibly bring a fall thunderstorm later in the day. I wished they held all the answers, all the ways to start to make things right. First things first, I supposed. Get the little things out of the way, maybe then we could start work on the big things.
I sighed. “Look, I’m sorry, all right?”
He shifted his gaze to me, then back to the burger.
“Mark, really, I’m sorry about my behavior.”
He nodded. “You need to tell me when something’s wrong. That wasn’t the first time you’ve taken a blocker after you do your thing.”
“You don’t miss anything, do you?”
He pulled his badge off his hip. “See this? They didn’t give it to me for my pretty face.”
I shoulder bumped him. “Jerk.”
“Yeah, whatever. But you need to remember: you’re not in this alone. I’m your partner. I need to know what you know, what you feel.”
I nodded slowly. Were we still talking about this morning—or the bigger problem?
“So how long has it been happening?”
I took a sip of my strawberry shake. “There’s always been some repercussions—you’ve seen the weakness.”
He bobbed his head and finished his burger.
“The headaches started a few months after I found out about my powers. They’ve persistently gotten worse. A couple of months ago, when we got that call to assist Kansas City, Kansas, I went to bed with a migraine. I spent half of Saturday hailing the toilet.”
His green eyes softened. “You should have said something.”
“I want to help.”
“At the price of your own well-being?”
“Look, what am I supposed to do? Tell them no? Let some killer get away with murder, or some victim never return to the life they should have had?”
Mark shook his head. “You don’t have to accept their requests. Lieutenant Douglass rejects a multitude daily.”
The breeze kicked up and tugged some of my hair out of its ponytail. I tried to tuck it behind my ear, but it blew back in my face. “I have these powers for a reason. I want to use them. Bendex could have decided to make me travel for the company. I’m grateful they didn’t. But it means I want to help the local departments as much as I’m able.”
Next to me, he stiffened. “A lot of the departments rely on you because they don’t have the evidence necessary to get a conviction.”
“You think I don’t know that? I see the relief on their faces when I make a connection.”
“Is it worth your own health?”
“I can’t put my own needs ahead of theirs. I’m not God. I don’t get to make those decisions.”
“Well maybe someone needs to make them for you.”
“It’s the lawyers who put these rules in place, and it’s Captain Moustakas and Lieutenant Douglass who enforce them.”
“I don’t think they’d have a problem revising the rules if they knew about how the resuscitations affect you.”
“Maybe not, but I would feel bad.”
Mark slid off the bonnet of the Flexion. “Sometimes I think you feel too much, Darb.” He offered me a hand. “It’s not a bad thing. But there are times you need to shut it down.”
We climbed into the car, and Mark started it up. “Have you at least told Lieutenant Douglass about the headaches?”
“If they start affecting my job, I will.”
“Darby...”
I sent him a scowl. “Mark...”
“No, you listen.” He turned toward me. “This is affecting how you do your job. How much time have we taken away from our case this morning because of this? I’d say nigh on an hour, whether it was active or passive time, including this discussion now.”
I folded my arms. “I didn’t ask you to make allowances.”
“No, but you needed them. Do you even think you could pass a physical right now if you had to?”
I hesitated.
“I thought so. If we were to get a lead in ten minutes, I need to know you’re going to be there to back me up, that we can put all our energy to arresting the bastard who killed Prairie. I cannot worry whether my partner is healthy enough to cover my six.”
“Why don’t you just have Lieutenant Douglass put me on leave?”
That lit a fire in his eyes. “What is this, a way to get out of this investigation without admitting you can’t handle facing the DSHA?”
“You bastard. What I was feeling at the resuscitation was real. I didn’t plan on any of this happening today.”
“I didn’t say you did.”
“Yes, you did!”
The Flexion turned into the parking lot, then took us to our assigned spot. When it stopped, I grabbed my duty bag and jumped out.
“Darby, wait!” Mark called.
I kept making tracks toward the employee entrance.
With my short strides, it was pretty easy for him to catch up. He grabbed my arm when I was halfway to the building.
I turned, but yanked my arm free and sent him a glare, ignoring the ghost of a sizzle where our skin briefly touched. At least this time, it didn’t hurt. “What? I’m done talking.”
He raked a hand through his nearly black hair. “I...I don’t know.”
“I thought so. I’m going to go pound on a training droid. You figure out the warrants and legal crap.”
“I want you to talk to the lieutenant.”
“Let me cool off.”
Something must have kept him from pursuing it. Mark dropped his hands and nodded. “I’ll come get you in half an hour.”
“Don’t hurry too much.”