It all starts with wishes. Almost all things are wishes. We are all wish soaked creatures. What this means is that people have all kinds of wishes, all the time. And on top of that, we usually make no distinction between big wishes and little wishes. They’re all big to us! We want what we want when we want it. And this is true of all of us. Basically, the wish comes out of what’s known as the “pleasure principle.” This means that people want to feel good, satisfied, content, gratified, and pleasured, all the time. People want to be free of unpleasant feelings. The problem is that life is constructed in such a way that our wishes usually are not met. Or, if they are met, they’re usually not exactly how we would have wanted them met. Or, if they are met as we wanted, then it’s frequently the case that they’re not met exactly when we wanted them. Or, if our wishes are met precisely when we wanted them, then it’s usually not to the fullest measure.
The point is that most of the time we need things, want things, pray for things, wish for things—needing, wanting, praying, wishing—all more or less the same. But then we usually don’t get the wish. What happens when we don’t get the wish? It’s really simple. When we don’t get our wish, we then feel frustrated, experience a loss of power, and our tension level rises.
So then what happens? What happens is that we look for ways to feel better. And we usually do this searching and looking to feel better in an automatic—an unconscious—way. It’s our attempt to feel better and to not feel frustrated. We don’t like to be disempowered; that is to say, we don’t want to be left hanging.
This frustration business is interesting because everyone in the world—everyone—has the same reaction to frustration. You see, not getting what we want and feeling frustrated because of it, or uncomfortable because of it, or upset because of it, creates a feeling of helplessness in every person. Now, what does helplessness mean? It really means that we feel left without power. When a person is frustrated because a wish is blocked then he or she feels helpless or disempowered—without power.
Let’s take an example. You are rushing for a bus or a train. You see the bus or train and you run for it, but it is iffy as to whether you can make it. The wish to make the bus or train is urgent. You feel you’ve got to catch it. And you’re about to make it, running, running. And as you’re approaching the door to the bus or train, the door closes and the vehicle begins pulling away with you standing there exhausted because you’re breathing so hard from all that running. Now you’re left at the empty bus or train station with packages that you’ve been lugging, knowing that the next bus or train will be arriving twenty minutes later (if on time), and that you will now be late for wherever it was that you were going, or simply, that it will take you longer to get home. Do you feel good or powerful because your wish to catch the train was dashed? No, of course not. On the contrary, you feel frustrated, powerless—disempowered. That’s the magic word—disempowered. You don’t get your wish. You feel frustrated and, therefore, disempowered.
So, so far we have the wish, the blocking of the wish, the frustration because of not getting the wish satisfied, and the inevitable feeling that always results from this blocked wish—the feeling of powerlessness or disempowerment.
Wishes are what we want. This includes those wishes that range from the silliest to the most serious. We need to remember that wishes are not heavily governed by the laws of society. Rather, they’re based on our needs, attitudes, and feelings. Wishes usually concern getting things or achieving things. We wish for love, for someone’s health, for someone’s death. We wish to be praised. We wish for overall good tidings toward others, for bad overall tidings toward others. We wish for comforts, security, happiness, advantages, triumphs, companionship, and victories both large and small.
Now I need to mention why some symptoms relieve tension and emotional discomfort while other symptoms make the tension and discomfort worse. And it’s all related to wishes. In fact, of all the symptoms presented in this book, you will see that some symptoms take the tension away while other symptoms make the tension worse. The question is, why? The answer rests in the nature of any person’s wish—that is, in the direction of the wish. Let’s put it simply: If your wish is a direct one, that is, the wish is to have something, then the plain fact is that the symptom will relieve tension. On the other hand, if the wish is indirect, or a wish to avoid something, then the opposite will happen—the symptom will increase tension.
So, in all the symptoms presented in this book, each one will be identified as containing either a wish to have something or a wish to avoid something. Now, remember, we’re covering the four points of the symptom code. This was Point One—the wish.