You need:
1 water faucet
1 garden hose
1 stick
1 backyard or flower bed
Turn on water faucet.
Grab garden hose. Push end of hose into ground to spray muddy water and pieces of grass onto clothes.
Giggle.
Repeat several times to make big puddle.
Jump up and down in puddle to mix dirt and water into mud.
Remove shoes and repeat.
Remove socks and repeat.
Use toes to mix up mud real good.
Squat down in puddle to look at mud. Make sure to get seat of pants wet.
Stir mud with stick.
Grab double handful of mud. If it stays together in a ball,
it’s done. If too runny, add more dirt.
Pat gently into flat shape like a pie.
Feed to little brother.