We arrived at the Kansas City Marriott Tuesday night. The tournament would take place Wednesday through Friday, with the finals rounds being broadcast during the day on the last day. My friends were staying at the Best Western across the street. Lakshmi had made a reservation under the name Najima. Elijah was bringing along a fake mustache.
There had been a cheerful reunion on Monday, many hugs were offered and accepted, and we had nailed down the complicated and glorious plan that would bring us ultimate victory. Now it was just up to us to execute it.
The first part of the plan was simple. As the only other girl on the trip, I would be rooming with Taryn. That would allow me to initiate Operation Break Milo’s Brain at the earliest possible moment. Taryn wasn’t especially inclined to talk to me or acknowledge my existence, busying herself taking up all available closet space by hanging up three separate power suits.
“It’s so great that Blaize isn’t here, right?” I said, plopping down on one of the twin beds once we checked into the hotel.
“Hmm,” mumbled Taryn.
“You know her whole thing with Milo. Or I guess I should say Milo’s whole thing with her.”
“He never did anything with her.”
“Oh, yeah, definitely. He’s amazing like that. His self-control.”
“Because he’s a gentleman.” Taryn was opening and filling the drawers to the dresser with her impossibly large selection of clothes, most of which said horrific things like LOVE EVERY DAY.
“You should’ve seen the outfit Blaize was wearing the other day… mm,” I growled.
Taryn sneered. “She would.”
“I know she would. And it looked good. Which is all the more amazing that Milo is able to resist, because, thanks to Logan, I know that males are extremely visual. That’s just the way their brain works. Through the eyes. Involuntary, almost.”
Taryn’s hands paused just for a second as she was hanging up her last suit.
“I gotta tell you something else, though, since it’s just us… when you were in the closet with Hanson… holy shit.”
She turned to look at me. “What do you mean, holy shit?”
“Milo was like a dog—his ears were like whoop.”
“I have no idea what that means. I don’t really like dogs.”
You fucking monster I will see you burn in hell. But I didn’t say that.
“You’ve seen dogs before, though. When they’re interested, their ears go up.”
She squinted. “Not all dogs. I mean, like, basset hounds. Their ears don’t do that.”
“All right, not like a basset hound. But like another dog. He was really interested.” It honestly wasn’t that much of a lie.
The slightest glimmer of a smile crossed her face before she suppressed it. “So?”
“Shit. I’m just gonna come out and say this: He takes you for granted. He’s like, it’s great that I have this superhot chick who’s like madly in love with me—”
“I’m not madly in love with him—”
“Of course, right, but I’m sure he thinks that. He thinks he can have you whenever he wants.”
Taryn gritted her tiny perfect teeth. “What we have is totally beyond sexual.”
“Definitely. One hundred percent yes.” I nodded. “I’m just saying, theoretically, if you were to flirt with someone else, he might finally appreciate what’s right in front of his face. Which is literally your butt during that spider scene in The Hobbit.”
She squinted at me. “You have no idea what it means to be in a mature relationship.”
She was probably right, but I did notice that Taryn wasn’t sitting on Milo’s lap in our first group meeting in the floor’s minuscule lounge. She was nestled next to Hanson, who wasn’t paying much attention to her, either. Milo’s non-basset-hound ears were definitely up.
Sparks was in rare form. “The first rounds start at eight thirty tomorrow morning, so I want you to be in bed and ASLEEP by ten o’clock. Phones off. No running around in the hallways like the other squads. Every year I come to Nationals it’s absolute madness—kids running around, people hooking up with other people—you are not going to find the love of your life in a hotel in Kansas City.”
I looked at Milo, who was looking at Taryn, who was looking at Hanson.
“I leave other members home because I want complete concentration from you. I don’t want to see any tweets about ‘missed connections’ about some girl in a pin-striped skirt from California, all right? This isn’t Love Connection. Every other person here is trying to beat you. Understand that. Men, I want you showered and shaved by six thirty.”
“Entirely shaved?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Logan suppressed a snort of laughter. Sparks leveled his fiery gaze on me. “I just thought maybe it was an aerodynamics thing,” I said. “Like swimmers.”
The rest of the group got quiet.
“Maybe you should’ve done HI,” said Sparks, smiling like a normal human being. “That was funny.”
The team exhaled.
“Ladies,” he said to me and Taryn, “do whatever you need to do to look good. Remember that this is a business setting, not a dance floor. I don’t want to see any four-inch heels.”
No problem. Taryn frowned. I had seen her shoes—she was going to have to rethink some outfits.
“One last thing,” he said. “You represent the entire team. You represent me. What you choose to do this week will define you for your entire life. Will you choose to be a loser? Or a winner? Some of you will make it. Some of you won’t. That’s all. It’s only your life.” He let that hang in the air for a moment, before adding, “All right, get out of here. Sydney, stick around.”
I felt my stomach drop as everyone else filed out of the lounge. Sparks closed the door.
“You’re making jokes now,” he said flatly.
“I thought maybe it would be nice to add a moment of levity,” I said, noticing that he now stood directly between me and the only exit.
“You thought that?”
“Yes.”
“Because I wasn’t doing enough as a coach, right?”
“Um…”
“You NEEDED to add a ‘moment of levity’ to help the morale of the team. Right? Because I was doing a poor job as the coach of this team? Even though we have six National qualifiers.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“About what?”
“About making that joke.”
“Just a second ago you told me that you felt it was necessary to make that joke. And now, moments later, you’ve changed your mind. I’m having a hard time understanding that.”
Get out get out get out get out—
“I’m sorry, Coach,” I said, again, trying to get to the side of him.
He didn’t move. “Are you going to be a problem?”
“No, sir.”
“No what?”
“No, Coach.”
His mouth was slightly open. I could feel his warm breath on my face. “If you are trying to challenge my authority over my team, I will tear you apart. You understand me? I will throw you in the garbage. You say one more thing, you make one more little crappy joke, and I will slap the shit out of you.”
My heart was pounding in my chest.
“You understand?”
“Yes, Coach.”
I was still shaking when I made it into the hall. Logan was waiting for me like nothing was wrong.
“Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for breaking the tension in there.”
A laugh escaped me. “What?”
“I mean sometimes Sparks can get a little intense.”
I shook my head to clear my mind.
“The last couple weeks have been ridiculous,” he said. “I don’t even know where I am half the time.”
I looked at him more carefully. He had deep bags under his eyes, just like everyone else on the team. Prepping for Nationals had nearly killed us.
Maybe Logan was just as much of a victim as the rest of us?
“By the way, you look like you’ve lost a little weight. Nice. I approve of that strategy.”
My sympathy for Logan vanished as I pictured him being torn limb from limb by a pack of hyenas.
“How are things going with Anesh?” I said, hoping to open wounds.
Logan reacted like he had been whipsawed in the face. “Anesh is basically trying to ruin our entire team. He’s such an ass.”
“Tell me about it,” I said, smiling ever so slightly as he fell into the trap.
“I’m getting a Coke if you want to join me.”
“A Coke? At nine o’clock. Aren’t you going to miss your bedtime?”
“Breaking the rules,” he said, and laughed.
“Well, I guess I can have a Diet Coke,” I said, imagining him being roasted over a spit.
We settled into the tiny refreshment closet, lit by the glowing light of the massive Coke vending machine. Logan slid to the ground on one side of it; I sat on the other.
“I can’t go back to my room,” he began. “Anesh is there and he’s a nightmare. He plays his music at approximately a million decibels, so even though he’s got headphones on, I can still very clearly hear the Kanye coming through.”
“Well, Taryn is in my room, so I’m sure that will be continuous joy. And just so you know, and I’ve said this to you before, but I am one hundred percent on your side.”
“Thank you.”
“You are obviously the motor to the team.”
“I’m aware of that. I’ve been aware of that since day one.”
“It really sucks that you got paired with someone like Anesh.”
“He keeps adding shit to the Google Doc. Stupid stuff. Somebody tweets something about space exploration, and he’s fucking adding a source on our main document.”
“I mean, that’s like a crime in some countries.”
Logan laughed and took a sip from his Coke, agitating him even further.
“I mean it.” I kept going. “That is so wrong. You can’t just add stuff without agreeing to it.”
“The last meet,” complained Logan, “I was doing second affirmative and I’m in the middle of the round checking sources and he had added a whole new tweetstorm in there.”
“That is bullshit. That is someone with a death wish.”
“Ugh.”
I let that sit for a second, then I pounced. “Have you ever thought about locking him out of the Google Doc?”
Logan shook his head. “I can’t lock him out, because we need to be able to use it during the rounds.”
“You’re using one laptop, though, right? Just use your laptop.”
Logan’s eyes darkened.
“All you need to do,” I said, “is change the password to access the file. Then Anesh can’t screw it up. Use your laptop in the competition, and you’re good to go.”
He snickered just a bit. “What would I change the password to?”
“How about ‘Anesh sucks’?”
It only took seven tries for us to guess the new password at the Best Western. “And the winner,” said Elijah, “is AneshSucks69.”
“How is that not the first thing you guessed?” Lakshmi asked.
Thomas rubbed his hands together. “Oh, we’re gonna have some fun.”
“This is my role,” said Elijah. “Just get back to work on your story.”