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adjusting yourself, 9, 19
aggressive driving, 38–40
airports, tipping at, 74
alcohol:
bar fights and, 113
at business social events, 214–15, 220
buying drinks of, 112, 113
driving and, 113
toasts and, 166
appearance, personal, 32–34, 102 see also hygiene
appointments, 80, 82, 85, 180
appreciativeness, 12, 67, 101, 188, 208
arm for support, offering, 12, 100, 166
asking directions, 10, 41–42
attentiveness, 101
in dating, 104–5
at weddings, 159–60
babysitters, tipping of, 73
bachelor parties, 162, 166
bad breath, 20
bad habits, 8–9
barbers, tipping of, 68
bars, 112–13
bartenders, tipping of, 72
bathrooms:
cleaning of, 9, 23, 26–31, 124–25
personal-care items in, 27
privacy in, 31
sharing space in, 29
smells in, 29
toilet paper in, 31
toilet seat position in, 10, 27, 30, 142, 174
workplace restrooms, 174, 207
bathtub, cleaning of, 28–29
bedroom, 26, 124
behavior, changing someone else’s, 22
bellmen, tipping of, 74
bereavement notes, 54–55
best man, role of, 162, 165–66
blazers, 159, 211
body language:
in business relationships, 190
at business social events, 216
and job interviews, 182
in office communications, 194, 196
body odor, 20, 102 see also hygiene
borrowing, 85
bragging, 99, 103
bullying, 174
burping, 18–19, 116, 207
business cards, 215
business relationships, 43, 171–78, 186–92
bar conversations and, 113
body language in, 190
building relationships in, 176
bullying in, 174
chauvinist attitude in, 172–73
clothing in, 175
coarse language and, 187–88, 189
coercing in, 189
compliments in, 175
demeaning behavior in, 173–74
domineering behavior in, 174, 190
e-mail in, 174
false terms of endearment in, 174, 188–89
flirting in, 174
giving credit in, 175
hygiene and, 175
ignoring others in, 172, 191
inappropriate touching in, 188
interrupting others in, 172, 174, 191
introductions in, 173, 175, 176
lateness and, 173
layoffs and, 177–78
listening in, 173, 191, 192
in new jobs, 192
ogling in, 174, 190
opening doors in, 173
people skills and, 176–77, 186–92
rudeness in, 172, 177
saying “please” or “thank you” in, 175
shaking hands in, 182, 188
shouting in, 174, 189, 190
superior attitude in, 171, 172, 173–74, 177
table manners in, 174
team environment and, 175, 191, 192
telephone in, 174
business services, tipping for, 68–70
business social events, 213–20
alcohol and, 214–15, 220
business cards and, 215
conversing at, 215, 217
guests at, 219–20
holding chairs at, 108–9, 204–5
hosts of, 219
introductions at, 214, 219
meals at, 137, 205, 213, 218–20
monopolizers at, 217
prompt arrival at, 218
at restaurants, 217–20
social mixers at, 214–17
working the room at, 216–17
car behavior, 38–42
aggressive driving in, 38–40
alcohol and driving, 113
asking for directions in, 41–42
disgusting habits in, 41
opening car doors, 99, 106
the radio and, 40
road rage and, 38–39, 40
tailgating, 39, 40
texting/cell phone use in, 40
using blinkers in, 41
car services, tipping of, 70
carrying packages, 12, 100, 176
cell phones/smartphones, 18, 40, 51–52, 201–2
audible discussions on, 49, 51–52
at dinner parties, 121
driving and, 40
e-mail on, 51
lodging complaints about, 52
in movie theaters, 51, 52
in public conveyances, 52
in public places, 51–52, 201–2
restaurants and, 52
rude behavior and, 49
texting and, 40, 51, 202
turning off, 50, 51, 201, 219
use while driving, 40
on vibrate mode, 50, 51, 201
voice mail on, 48, 51
chairs, holding of, 12, 100
business function and, 108–9, 204–5
table manners and, 134
changing lightbulbs, 15
chauvinist attitude, 172–73
chewing gum, 33, 35, 199, 207, 208
chewing tobacco, 9
child care, 14, 92
children, 90–96
adults mimicked by, 90 91, 95
attending events of, 94
coaching your, 95
discipline of, 94
life changed by, 93
manners for, 4
preparing for arrival of, 92
and shaking hands, 4
sharing responsibility for, 93–94
sports events of, 96
swearing and, 36, 91, 94–95
talking with, 94
as wedding guests, 157
chivalrous behavior, 12, 100
chocolates, 120, 145
cigar smoke, 34
clarity, 194
of speech, 45, 182
cleaning up, 9, 13–14, 92
in bathrooms, 9, 23, 26-31
first impressions linked to, 124
for home entertaining, 123, 124–25
in kitchen, 6, 9, 23–25
of refrigerator, 15, 124
of sports venues, 86
clothing, 19, 102
dirty, 21–22, 26, 124
for job interviews, 175, 180, 181
for weddings, 158–59, 166
in workplace, 175, 195, 210–12
coarse language, 33, 103, 187–88, 189
see also swearing
coats:
helping with, 12, 99, 100, 107
tipping coatroom attendants, 70
coercing, 189
coffee, 6, 139, 176
communication, 11, 101, 102
online dating, 150–53
online gaming, 154
social networking, 148–50
see also listening; office communications; telephone, telephoning
communication, in-person, 43–47, 58
jokes in, 46
listening in, 11, 44–45, 46
nonverbal cues in, 46, 47
quality of voice in, 45
telephones and, 48
topics in, 46
word choice in, 47
see also written communication
company policies, 209, 212
compliments, 102, 105, 108, 175
concierges, tipping of, 75
condescending behavior, 10, 103, 172
confidence, 5
dating and, 104, 107
in job interviews, 180, 182
congratulations notes, 54
consideration, 8, 28, 39, 77, 86
Emily Post on, 7
by guests, 121–22
lack of, 4, 5, 10
in online dating, 150
and social success, 102
toward children, 91
workplace, 171, 175
contributions, guest, 118, 120, 128, 130, 146
conversations:
about sex, 46
bar, 113
at business social events, 215, 217, 219
flirtatious, 110
gossip, 37, 206
inappropriate workplace, 209
swearing in business conversations, 36
table manners and, 134
word choice in, 47
workplace, 206–7, 209
cooking, 12, 14, 92, 105
coughing, 115–16, 199
courtesy, 81, 187, 192
cruise ships, tipping on, 74
cubicles, workplace, 174, 199, 206–7
cultures, workplace, 205, 206
cursing. see swearing
dancing, 160, 167
dating, 33, 35, 104–10
attentiveness in, 104–5
confidence and, 104, 107
flirting and, 109–10
flowers in, 105–6
holding chairs in, 108–9
home entertaining and, 123–24
online, 150–53
opening doors in, 106–7
paying for meals in, 109
special occasions and, 106–7
standing up and, 108–9
walking together in, 107–8
delivery persons, tipping of, 68
demeaning behavior, 173–74
deodorant, 209–10
diets, special, 125–26
dinner parties, 17–22
disrespectful behavior, 5–6
domineering behavior, 10, 11, 99, 174, 190
doormen, tipping of, 73, 74
drain, cleaning of, 28–29
dressing:
for dinner parties, 120
sloppy, 9
tips for, 102
see also clothing
driving. see car behavior
elbows on table, 132–33
elevator operators, tipping of, 73
elevators, holding of, 100
e-mails, 43, 53–54, 56–58
on cell phones, 51
emoticons and textspeak in, 57–58, 203
font choices for, 202
formal vs. friendly, 58
grammar, word choice, and spelling in, 57
in office communications, 174, 193, 202–3
as public documents, 56, 202
salutations in, 58, 203
speed of sending, 56, 202
subject line in, 56–57
tone of voice in, 57
vs. snail mail, 183
Emily Post Institute, 174
empathy, 4
engagements, 161–62
etiquette, 3–6, 11, 13
leading by example in, 86
Etiquette (Post), 5, 157–58, 186
eye contact, 46, 60, 65, 182, 195, 196
Facebook, xviii, 148, 185
fist bump, 62
fitness centers, 76–82
class courtesy at, 81
grunting at, 78
hitting on women at, 79–80
impressing others at, 76, 77, 78
missing a class at, 80, 82
personal trainers at, 80
time limits of, 79
unwanted stares and, 77–78
wiping up your sweat at, 76–77
flirting:
business relationships and, 174
dating and, 109–10
flowers, 6
dating and, 105–6
gifts of, 120, 145
food allergies, 125
food deliverers, tipping of, 68
formal dinners, 131, 134–39
forms of address, 60, 66, 174, 205
garages, tipping at, 69
garbage, taking out the, 14
gifts:
house, 145, 146
wedding, 158, 163, 166
of wine, 120, 145
in workplace, 207–8
see also flowers
going Dutch, 109
golf, 83, 84, 86–87, 88
gossip, 37, 206
grammar, 57, 193, 194
greeting people, 59–66
eye contact in, 60, 65
forms of address in, 60, 66, 147, 205
smiling in, 60
speaking clearly in, 60, 182
standing up in, 60, 216
see also handshakes; introductions
grocery shopping, 12, 15
tipping grocery loaders, 69
grooming, 19, 32, 33–34, 102, 120
see also hygiene
group activities, 111–16
in bars, 112–13
group parties, 130
sharing expenses of, 112–15
small grossnesses at, 111, 115–16
see also restaurants
grunting, 78
guest etiquette, 117–22
be considerate, 121–22
bringing a guest, 119
changing your mind, 118–19
grooming for event, 120
guest contributions, 118, 120, 128, 130
the hostess gift, 120
the invitation, 117–20
lateness, 120–21
leaving with others, 122
reciprocating, 122
RSVP, 117–18
saying thank you, 122
tips for, 121
hair, in bathroom sink or tub, 28–29
handshake-hug combo, 63
handshakes, 4, 60–62
in business, 182, 188
types of, 61
when not to shake hands, 61
with women, 62
handwritten notes, 53–55
hats, removal of, 9, 10, 33
hockey, 84
holiday tipping, 72–73
home entertaining, 123–30
cleaning up for, 123, 124–25
dating and, 123–24
double dipping by guests and, 129
group parties in, 130
guests’ contributions to, 128, 130
K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid) school of, 125–27
last-minute details, 127
meal plan for, 125–27
perfect host of, 127–28
pets and, 125
separated and divorced friends and, 129
tips for, 128
home life, 23–31
bedroom and, 26
telephone in, 17–18
television viewing in, 16–17
see also bathrooms; household chores; kitchen
honesty, 4, 5, 86–87, 102, 150, 151, 175
hostess gifts, 120
hotels, tipping at, 74–75
houseguests, 140–47
guidelines for, 143–46
and smoking, 34
household chores, 12, 14–15, 21–22, 92
household help, holiday tipping of, 73
housekeeping staff, hotel, tipping of, 75
hugs and kisses, 63
hygiene, 20
in the bedroom, 26
at fitness centers, 81
in workplace, 175, 209–10
ignoring others, 5, 99, 103, 172, 191
“I’m sorry,” 12
inconsiderate behavior, 5-6, 111, 115–16
interruptions, 99, 103
telephone, 48, 197, 199
at work, 172, 174, 191
introductions, 62–66
in business relationships, 173, 175, 176
at business social events, 214, 219, 220
first names or titles, 66
at formal dinners, 135
making, 100
of oneself, 65
of parents, 147
remembering names, 64–65
invitations:
guest, 117–20
wedding, 156–58
ironing, 14
jackets, 159, 195, 211
job interviews, 179–85
dressing appropriately for, 175, 180, 181
evaluating interviewer, 181
eye contact at, 182
personal skills used in, 180–81
preparation for, 180–81, 184
prompt arrival at, 179–80
questions in, 182, 184
smiling at, 182
social networking and, 185
speaking clearly at, 182
thanking interviewer for, 182–83
jokes, 37, 46, 103
Jumbotron, 162
kisses, hugs and, 63
kitchen:
cleaning refrigerator, 15, 124, 208–9
cleaning up in, 6, 9, 23–25, 124, 209
workplace, 208–9
lateness, 10
for business social events, 218
for job interviews, 179–80
for social events, 120–21
for sports appointments, 85
in workplace, 173
laundry, 14, 21–22, 26, 92
lawn care, tipping for, 69
layoffs, coping with, 177–78
letters, 43, 193, 203
see also thank-you notes
limousines, 70
listening:
in business relationships, 173, 191, 192
to children, 94
in face-to-face communication, 11, 44–45, 46, 102
living room, cleaning of, 124
macho men, 78, 173
maître d’s, tipping of, 71
making the bed(s), 6, 14, 124
manners, importance of, 3–4, 10–11, 59, 100
memos, 193, 203
motels, tipping at, 74–75
movers, tipping of, 67, 68
movie theaters, cell phones in, 51, 52
mowing the lawn, 14
musicians, tipping of, 72
names, 60, 64–65, 66, 147, 205
newspaper deliveries, tipping of, 72
noise, background:
telephoning and, 199
in workplace, 206
nose blowing, 10
at dinner table, 138
into telephones, 199
in workplace, 207
nose picking, 9, 41
office communications, 193–203
body language in, 194, 196
cell/smartphones in, 201–2
criteria for, 193–94
e-mails in, 174, 193, 202–3
effective presentations in, 194–96
face-to-face, 193, 194–96
letters and memos in, 193, 203
telephone in, 174, 193, 197–200
voice mail in, 200–201
ogling, 77–78, 174, 190
online dating, 150–53
online friendships, 149
online gaming, 154
opening doors, 10, 11, 12, 100
in business relationships, 173, 176
car doors, 99, 106
in dating, 106–7
revolving doors, 107
parents, 90–96, 147
parking attendants, tipping of, 69, 72
passing gas, 18–19, 33, 35–36, 99, 116
paying bills, 15
personal-care items, 27
personal habits, 9, 32–37
burping, 18–19
chewing gum, 33, 35
driving and, 41
gossiping, 37
passing gas, 18–19, 33, 35–36, 99, 116
smoking, 9, 33, 34
spitting, 9, 10, 33, 35
swearing, 9, 33, 36–37
personal trainers, 80
pets, 21, 125
photos, and social networking, 148–49
planning an evening out, 15
“please,” 10, 100, 175
Post, Emily, 3
on business relationships, 186, 187
on consideration, 7
on the perfect host, 127–28
on table manners, 131, 137
Post Survey, xvii–xix
bedroom behavior in, 26
car behavior in, 41
cleaning up in, 6, 9, 23–31
communication skills in, 44
daily life in, 8–12
dating in, 104, 106, 107, 108
fitness center behavior in, 77, 78
group issues in, 111
hot spots in, 13–15
houseguests in, 140–41
household chores in, 14–15
how actions affect other people, 13
hygiene in, 20
male child-care help in, 92
mowing the lawn in, 14
passing gas in, 18–19
personal habits in, 33–34, 36
planning an evening out in, 15
rude behavior in, 5, 6
scratching in, 19
shared spaces in, 23–31
social behavior in, 99–103
table manners in, 134, 137
telephone in, 17–18
television viewing in, 16–17
weddings in, 159–60
workplace in, 174–75, 204
posture, 196
potluck parties, 130
presentations, 194–96
privacy:
bathroom, 31
workplace, 206
promises, making and keeping, 25
promptness, 179–80, 218
proposals of marriage, 161–62
radio, car, 40
refrigerators, 15, 124, 208–9
relationships, ending, 149
residential building employees, tipping of, 73
respect, 4, 5, 8, 11–12, 26, 86, 90, 91, 101, 102, 121, 150, 175
responsible, being, 11–12
restaurants:
business meals at, 217–20
cell phones and, 52
paying at, 109
taking hosts to dinner, 144
tipping at, 67, 70–72
revolving doors, 107
road rage, 38–39, 40
room service, tipping for, 75
RSVP:
meaning of, 157–58
responding to an, 117–18
rude behavior, 5–6
in business relationships, 172, 177
cell phones and, 49
salutations, in e-mails, 58
scents, 102, 210
scratching, 19
sexism, 172
sexting, 150
shared living spaces, 23–31
shared plates of food, 115
sharing expenses, 112–15
shaving, 27, 28, 41
shopping, 92
shouting, 17, 174, 189, 190, 195
shower, bathroom, cleaning of, 28
sink, bathroom, cleaning of, 27–28, 29
slouching, 196
slurping, 207
small grossnesses, 111, 115–16
smells, 29
smiling, 60, 182
smoking, 9, 33, 34, 122
snail mail, 183, 203
sneezing, 19
in group situation, 115–16
into the telephone, 199
snoring, 26
social media, 148–54
social mixers, 214–17
social networking, 148–50
friending, 149
job interviews and, 185
sexting, 150
special diets, 125–26
special occasions, remembering and celebrating, 105
spectator standards, 83, 88, 89, 96
speech:
accents, 45, 196
clarity of, 45, 182
rate of, 45, 196
volume of, 195
spitting, 9, 10, 33, 35
splitting the bill, 114–15
sports, 83–89, 224
betting on, 87, 88
borrowing and, 85
cheating at, 85, 86–87
cleaning up at, 86
coaching children, 95
following rules in, 85
friendships and breakups in, 87
Jumbotron, 162
lateness for, 85
missed appointments, 85
online gaming, 154
winning and, 83, 84–85
sports events:
abusive yelling at, 83, 84, 88, 89
children’s, 96
positive cheering at, 88, 89
referees of, 83, 84, 89
roles as spectator at, 88
standing up, 12, 60, 108–9, 216
stationery, 55–56
suits, 159, 211
superior attitude, 10, 99, 103, 171, 172, 173–74, 177
supermarket deliveries, tipping for, 68
swearing, 9, 36–37, 99, 103
business relationships and, 36, 189
children and, 36, 91, 94–95
see also coarse language
sympathy notes, 54–55
T-shirts, 102, 211, 212
table manners, 131–39, 220
American style, 132
arriving at table in, 134–35
beginning to eat in, 137
in business relationships, 174
coffee and, 139
continental style, 132
conversation in, 134
cutting meat in, 138
dessert and, 139
at dinner’s end, 139
elbows on the table in, 132–33
excusing yourself and, 138
glassware in, 135, 136
holding chairs in, 134
napkins and, 135, 139
passing food items in, 133
place setting and, 135
salt and pepper and, 137
sauce and, 138
soup course and, 136
tie flipping and, 136
utensils in, 132, 135, 138–39
wine and, 135, 136, 139
taxi drivers, tipping of, 69
telephone, telephoning, 43, 48–52
answering calls, 17, 48, 198
answering machines, 48, 50, 197
background noises and, 199
call waiting and, 50, 199
conference calls and, 200
Do Not Disturb feature on, 197
face-to-face vs., 197
gum chewing and, 208
identifying oneself, 197
interruptions by, 48, 197, 199
making calls oneself, 198
multitasking and, 199
not using, 17–18
in office communications, 174, 193, 197–200
online dating and, 152
placing someone on hold in, 197
speakerphones and, 198–99
taking control of, 48, 50
taking messages in, 18, 48, 198
video conferencing and, 43, 193, 200
voice level on, 49
voice mail of, 43, 48, 50, 200–201
see also cell phones/smartphones
television viewing, 16–17, 142
tennis, 83, 84, 85, 87
terms of endearment, 174, 188–89
texting, 40, 43, 51, 58, 201
“thank you,” 10, 12, 100, 143, 146, 175
thank-you notes, 54
for business social events, 220
for dinner parties, 122
for formal dinners, 139
of houseguests, 143, 146
for job interviews, 182–83
for wedding gifts, 164
to wedding hosts, 161
what to say in, 55
tie flipping, 136
ties, 158, 159, 211
tipping, 67–75
for business and professional services, 68–70
holiday, 72–73
poor service and, 67–68
at restaurants, 67, 70–72
tip jars, 67
when traveling, 74–75
Title market, The (Post), 127
toasts, 165, 166
toilet paper, 31, 125
toilet seat position, 10, 27, 30, 142, 174, 207
toothpaste, 26
touching, inappropriate, 188
trash collectors, tipping of, 69
travel, 74–75
tuxedos, 158–59
Twitter, xviii, 43, 148
uninvited guests, 119, 156–57
ushers, wedding, 166–67
usurping, 142
vacuuming, 14, 124
valet parking, tipping for, 72
vegetarians, 125–26
video conferencing, 43, 193, 200
voice level, 195
on telephone, 49
voice mail, 43, 48, 50, 200–201
voice, tone of:
in e-mails, 57
in face-to-face communication, 45, 194, 195
see also speech
waiters and waitresses, tipping of, 70–71
waiting together, 108
walking together, 5, 12, 99, 100, 108
washing hands, 20, 141
washroom attendants, tipping of, 70
weddings, 155–67
attentiveness at, 159–60
bachelor parties and, 162, 166
best man’s role in, 162, 165–66
children as guests at, 157
clothing for, 158–59, 166
dancing at, 160, 167
departure from, 160
and getting engaged, 161–62
gifts for, 158, 163, 166
the groom, 161–63
groom’s role in, 155, 163–65
groomsmen, role of, 162, 166–67
guests at, 156–61
invitations to, 156–58
paying for, 163
receiving line of, 164
rehearsal dinner and, 163
thanking the hosts of, 161
toasts at, 165, 166
tossing garter at, 164
uninvited guests at, 156–57
usher’s role in, 166–67
wedding cake, 160, 164
wine:
at business social events, 219, 220
gifts of, 120, 145
table manners and, 135, 136, 139
wine stewards, tipping of, 71
winning, sports and, 83, 84–85
workplace, 171–78, 204–12
background noise in, 206
burping in, 207
clothing in, 175, 195, 210–12
company policy and, 209, 212
conversations in, 206, 209
cubicles in, 174, 199, 206–7
cultures of, 205, 206
eavesdropping in, 207
forms of address in, 205
gifts in, 207–8
gossip in, 206
gum chewing in, 208
holiday gift-giving in, 207–8
hygiene in, 175, 209–10
inappropriate conversations in, 209
kitchen and food in, 208–9
“no-scent” policies in, 210
nose blowing in, 207
personal phone calls in, 207
restrooms in, 207
slurping in, 207
smacking chewing gum in, 207
taking breaks in, 209
telephone voice level in, 207
see also business relationships; office communications
written communication, 53–58
bereavement notes, 54–55
e-mail, 56–58
handwritten notes, 53–55
notes of congratulations, 54
stationery, 55–56
thank-you notes, 54, 55
what to say in, 55
yelling, 17
e-mail indicators of, 202
at sports events, 83, 84, 88, 89