“You threw a wonderful baby shower for Lissa and Tara.” A week later Sophie smiled at Penny across the newborn she held. “Besides which, you look great holding that little guy.”
“I think caring for five babies pretty well wore out Molly this week but I’ve loved every moment of cuddling these precious little ones.” Reluctantly Penny handed over the now crying baby to his mom.
“Tara and I can’t believe all you’ve done for us,” Lissa said, cradling her son.
“No, we can’t thank you enough,” Tara agreed as she took her daughter from Sophie. “You were there just in time. We didn’t know we’d have our babies so close together and we don’t know what we’d have done without all these wonderful gifts on top of giving us places to live. I can’t imagine how we’d have managed if we had to stay at the shelter.”
“Any plans yet?” Sophie asked. “We love having new babies at Wranglers Ranch but I know you were both considering moving home with your families.”
“We asked but neither of our parents want us there now that there’s another mouth to feed. I’m hoping to go back to school,” Tara said. “You, too, right?” She glanced at Lissa, who nodded. “Molly might join us after her baby comes, which she’s hoping will be soon. She’s really tired of being pregnant, which I totally understand.”
“You’re both welcome to stay in the cabins for however long you need, though I realize you’ll need to find something more permanent.” Sophie glanced at Penny. “We’ve got feelers out about that so don’t give up.”
“We won’t.” Tara grinned. “We’re learning that Wranglers Ranch is a place where prayers are answered.”
Penny wanted to echo Tara’s comment except God still hadn’t answered her prayer for Rick’s love or sent the child she craved to hold more now than ever. After expressing their thanks once more, the two moms headed for their cabins, babies carefully swaddled against the mountain breeze rippling through the valley. Sophie helped Penny clean up the daycare, where they’d held the evening shower, which many ladies from the church had attended along with some ranch staff.
“I’m a bit scared for them,” Penny admitted. “New babies, no home, no one to watch over them, no futures. Do you think we could care for the babies here in our daycare if the girls do return to school in September?”
“Why not? It would probably help their cause with the authorities if they have childcare in place.” Sophie frowned. “But what about you, Penny? Is it going to be too much for you?”
“I love kids and two new babies at Wranglers Ranch Day Care is a blessing.” Penny refused to allow herself to ask God again why she couldn’t have her own child to love.
The Lord will work out His plan for your life, she mentally reminded herself.
“Okay, but if it gets too much, just say the word. Now, I’d better get home. Thank you so much for showering Lissa and Tara with love.” Sophie hugged Penny then held her at arm’s length. “I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone with a heart like yours. You keep on giving in spite of everything. Tanner and I are truly blessed to have you on our staff.”
“I’m the one who’s blessed. Now go see to your own baby or Tanner will bring Carter here and wake up Katie and Kyle.” Penny peeked into the nap room, saw the twins were still sound asleep on the cots and gingerly closed the door. “Rick should be here soon to pick them up.”
“I hope so. You need a break.” Sophie headed for the door. “Good night, Penny.”
Penny waved her out then finished straightening. She’d begun laying out supplies for tomorrow when the door opened. Rick’s dark head peered around the corner. He heaved a sigh of relief when he didn’t see anyone then stepped inside.
“Hi, there.” Penny tried to control her racing heart but she couldn’t stop her ear-to-ear smile.
“Hi, yourself.” He glanced around. “The baby shower’s over?”
“Yes, and it was so much fun.” She couldn’t look at him in case he saw how much she wanted to run into his arms and be held by him. “The twins were great, Rick. They’re sleeping but I don’t think they’ll stir much.”
“Penny.”
Something in Rick’s voice—the ragged edge? The desperation? Something made her turn and study him. His face was a ghastly gray. His eyes had lost their sparkle. His mouth didn’t smile. Even his scar looked angry.
“Will you marry me, Penny?”
Her soul gave a leap of joy. She opened her mouth to yell yes before realizing that this was not a proposal of love. Something was terribly wrong.
“I think you’d better tell me what’s happened. Come outside where we won’t disturb the kids. I’ll take the monitor so I can hear them if they waken.” Penny’s worry ramped up when Rick mutely followed her without objection. Her heart sent a prayer for help as she indicated the wooden bench outside the door. “Now, sit down and tell me what happened.”
It took a few minutes before he could speak calmly.
“My lawyer is an old friend and today he wanted to warn me that because of the fire investigator’s preliminary report, it’s almost a certainty that I’ll soon be charged with negligence causing Gillian’s death.” Rick’s brown eyes looked empty and hopeless as they met hers. “According to him I need to get my affairs in order.”
“I see.” Penny swallowed hard. Rick didn’t love her. He didn’t want her by his side as they strove to reach for a happily-ever-after. He was in trouble and he needed her help. This proposal was a business offer.
“I have to be sure the twins are looked after, Penny.”
“Your parents?” she murmured dully. God still hadn’t answered either of them. Why? her heart pleaded.
“I can’t.” He sighed. “I guess I never told you that my mother has a weak heart. Dad and I have been trying to slow her down for ages. That’s why Gill asked me to be Katie and Kyle’s guardian after her husband died. She knew Mom would want to do it but that it would play her out. We’ve been trying to protect her for years. I can’t imagine what this will do to her.” Rick picked up Penny’s hand and held it as if it was his lifeline.
“She’s strong. So is her faith.” Unlike mine.
“Will you marry me, Penny, and adopt the kids so that if I do go to prison they will be safe in a home with someone who loves them?”
“There’s no way you’ll go to prison—” Penny stopped because his face was frozen in a mask of utter despair. “What aren’t you telling me, Rick?”
“My lawyer has a lot of friends here. He found out through them that Tucson has had a rash of fires recently and that they’ve cost a bundle in emergency services. With the unsolved situation at Gillian’s…” He let go of her hand, raked his own through his hair and continued, his voice ragged. “He believes they’re very eager to make an example of the bad contractor.”
“But you’ve been building for years. You’ve never had a problem before. Have you?” she asked warily when he sighed.
“Remember the house I finished before I started the cabins at Wranglers Ranch?”
“I remember. A lovely place.” She nodded, tensing in preparation for whatever Rick was about to say.
“They had an electrical fire two nights ago. No one was hurt, thankfully, but it doesn’t look good for me, Penny.” Rick’s tortured voice scraped across her raw nerves.
Her heart screamed No! at God. How could He let this happen to such a wonderful man?
“So we’re back to my question—will you marry me? And adopt the twins. I know you’ll be the mother they need.” He smiled and the tiniest spark of hope lit his eyes. “You’ve already been like a mother to them. Your heart is full of giving, Penny.”
“Yes, but—”
“I trust you because you don’t give up and you don’t give in. You expect the best of everyone and you do your best to give it right back to them.” He touched her cheek. “That’s why I want you to take on the twins’ guardianship.”
“You’re very sweet,” she whispered, deeply moved by his tribute.
“I’m truthful. You live your faith the way I’ve always wanted to and never quite managed. I know you’ll tell me to keep trusting God, that He’ll see me through this and maybe sometime down the road I’ll be able to do that,” he rasped. “But right now I can’t rely on trust. I need your help. I trust you with the twins and I know you’ll watch out for my parents, too.”
“I don’t know what to say.” But she knew what she wanted to say.
“This isn’t the kind of marriage you wanted,” Rick continued. “I know that. I’m sure you’ve dreamed of a loving marriage and especially of raising your own kids, adopted or not. But Katie and Kyle will be yours. You’re the only one I’d entrust them to, Penny. You’ll have your family. It’s just that I won’t be there.”
Rick was right. It wouldn’t be the marriage Penny had always dreamed of. Her heart ached at the lack of love in his proposal. She loved this man more than she’d ever loved anyone, more than she’d thought herself capable of loving. She wanted everything that went with romantic love including a partner with whom she could share the intimacy of marriage and the difficulties life brought. She wanted someone who shared her faith. Rick was struggling with that. She’d have to be the strong one, the one who encouraged him to keep trusting God and if he went to prison…
Penny sat next to Rick, silently weighing the pros and cons, trying to sort through everything rationally but vitally aware that he was only asking for her help because he had no one else to turn to. Could she marry him knowing that? Should she?
Penny loved Rick. That wasn’t going to change. She loved the way he cared for the twins, always putting them first, always striving to ensure they knew he would never leave them. Yet he was being forced to do just that.
Penny couldn’t abandon this man now, when he needed her so desperately. Doing that would shred her heart and soul because she loved him too much. If he couldn’t love her back she’d somehow learn to deal with that. But in the meantime she would be there for him, be the rock he needed for the twins, even though it meant she would be a mom in name only.
“Penny?” He sounded tentative and a little bit scared. “You aren’t saying anything. Is it too much to ask?”
“No, Rick.” One truth shone bright and clear. She loved him. She’d claimed she trusted God. Well, now it was time to trust Him completely. “It’s not too much. You know I love the twins. I’d do anything to keep them safe and happy.” She took a deep breath. Then, quashing her misgivings, Penny smiled at him and said, “Yes, Rick, I will marry you. As soon as you want.”
“Thank you.” The words were a whisper Penny barely heard because a moment later Rick was kissing her exactly the way she’d always dreamed of being kissed, as if he needed her to complete his world, as if she was the most precious person in his life.
His lips, warm and seeking, asked for a response that Penny couldn’t deny. Her arms slid around his neck and she drew him closer, answering his unasked questions as best she could.
For better or for worse she loved him.
Somehow make it work, Lord, she prayed before giving herself to the joy of his embrace.
* * *
You shouldn’t be kissing her. Your marriage isn’t for real. It’s for expediency.
Rick drew back but kept his arms around Penny, nestled her head against his shoulder and tried to organize his thoughts.
He hated asking her to marry him. Not because he didn’t love her. Rick loved Penny deeply and completely. That knowledge wasn’t new. She was the only woman whom he’d ever felt utterly comfortable about trusting. She was the only woman he could imagine leaving the twins with and she was the only woman he could imagine growing old beside.
But he wasn’t going to tell her that. No way did he want Penny to feel she owed him anything. She was getting at least as lousy a deal with him as she had with the fiancé who’d dumped her.
If only he could tell her the truth, make it a real marriage.
No. Not gonna happen. Because if he was sent to prison—better to spare Penny all of that.
“It’s going to be okay, Rick.”
Her whisper drew him back to the present, to the fact that they were in each other’s arms outside the daycare where anyone on the grounds could see them, spread gossip, maybe wreck her reputation. Gently he set Penny free, easing away from her tender touch.
“How do you know it will?” He struggled to suppress his skepticism.
“God’s on our side. I trust Him to work out His plans for our lives, Rick.” She eased her head from under his chin and tipped back to study him. “God won’t let you go to prison for something you didn’t do.”
“I’m not so sure,” he admitted very quietly, ashamed of the words yet needing to be truthful with this woman, who’d offered him only honesty. “I’ve never really had the kind of rock-solid faith that Gillian had. She was always confident God loved her and she was fearless about charging ahead. Even after her husband died, she seemed to have no issues about being on the right path.” He allowed a half smile of memory to curve his lips.
“I wish I’d known her.”
“Me, too.” Rick knew Gillian would have loved Penny. “She was all gung-ho about her new idea to serve God.”
“And then she died,” Penny finished when he didn’t.
“Yes.” He sighed then acknowledged, “That’s when the distance in my relationship with God seemed to grow. I can’t understand why she had to die. If anyone should have died, it should have been me. I don’t have two little kids who need their mom. Gill’s death seems so pointless.”
“There is a reason, Rick. You just don’t know it yet.”
“And probably never will. That’s what bugs me. Her vibrant dedicated life, snuffed out. Because of me?” He quickly shook off the doubts. “No point in dwelling on it now. If you don’t mind, I’d like to get started on adoption papers immediately.”
“That’s fine with me. But Rick, nobody can prepare for every eventuality.” Penny’s blue eyes grew dark with conviction. “That’s where trust comes in.”
He couldn’t respond without sounding very negative so he kept quiet.
After a moment Penny asked, “When will we be married?”
“A week from Saturday?” On the lonely drive back from Phoenix he’d thought through every step he needed to take to make the twins secure.
“At the church?” Penny’s eyes widened with surprise when Rick shook his head.
“I thought maybe we could get married here. A private ceremony, just us, my parents, the twins, Tanner and Sophie and whomever you want to invite.” He waited, hoping she’d agree.
“You don’t want a church ceremony? Why?” she asked when he said no.
“Several reasons,” he said. “Primarily time. It’s going to be tight. I have three cabins to finish by the end of the month. I’m not going to leave Tanner disappointed and I won’t leave an issue for my business partner to handle when he comes back to work. I want everything nailed down, taken care of, in case…” He couldn’t finish it.
“In case you can’t be here anymore,” Penny said and nodded. “Okay, we’ll ask the pastor and Tanner if we can have the ceremony here.”
Rick waited, sensing she had something else to say. Sure enough, a moment later Penny cupped his cheeks and turned his face toward hers, peering directly into his eyes.
“I promise I’ll do my very best for the twins. I’ll do whatever it takes to minimize the impact on them if you have to—go away. I won’t betray your trust in me.”
“I know tha—” Her finger pressed against his lips, stopping the words.
“But I have to tell you that I don’t believe you’re going to prison. I believe God will intercede. What happens then, Rick?”
Penny’s sober question forced him to think it through.
“If I am somehow exonerated before we get married, you’re free. I won’t ask anything more of you. But I very much doubt that’s going to happen,” he said.
“And later? What if it’s resolved later?” Penny whispered, still staring at him.
“Then we’ll talk about it and decide together what we want to do.” Rick had to hope that would be enough because he had nothing else to offer her. He didn’t dare tell her he wanted more than anything to make it a real marriage, that he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of their days loving each other and raising the twins. “Okay?”
He desperately hoped Penny would say yes because he had no other solution.
“Very okay,” she agreed. “But, Rick, could we pray first, before we tell anyone else?”
He hadn’t expected that but he should have. Penny wasn’t shy about her faith or her determination to focus on God’s plan. She certainly wasn’t about to forget Him when she was making a decision this large. He nodded.
“Thank You, God, for Rick and Katie and Kyle. Thank You for bringing them into my life. Please guide us as we make this decision to become a family. Keep us focused on You and help us to trust You to lead Rick out of this desperate situation,” Penny murmured, face uplifted to the spear of moonlight that filtered through the trees. “We’re scared and uncertain and confused about the future but we know that You work all things together for Your good. So we ask You to bless us. Make us into a family who loves and serves You. Amen.”
Rick added his own amen, but nothing more. After all, what else was there to say? The future was in God’s hands. He didn’t have much hope God would intervene but Penny did. He’d hang on to her faith and hope she didn’t come to regret her decision to marry him.
Deep in thought Rick was startled back to reality when she rose and said, “It’s time to get the twins to bed.”
“When should I tell them?” he said, suddenly overwhelmed by the details to be accomplished before their marriage.
“We’ll do it together over a dinner.” She shook her head when he frowned. “I know you have the cabins to finish but we have to get this off on the right foot. Katie and Kyle have to feel included, not as if we decided and then told them how it’s going to be.”
“Very practical.” He stood gazing at her lovely face. “That’s just one of many reasons why I’m glad you agreed to marry me.”
“Well, you may yet regret that decision,” she said pertly. A sparkle of something he couldn’t decipher filled her eyes. “Because I’m going to ask you for a wedding present, Rick. But you only have to give it to me after God works things out about Gillian’s fire.”
“Then I’m not sure you’ll ever get it.”
“Oh, yes, I will.” She clapped her hands on her hips and stared him down. “When God provides a solution, I want your promise that you’ll have plastic surgery and get that scar treated.”
Rick lifted a hand to his face, surprised that she’d said it. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I know it’s really ugly and—”
“That has nothing to do with my request.”
“Then why?” Confused and a little hurt by her words, Rick tried to maintain a blank look.
“When God solves the issue of Gillian’s fire, I want you to promise you’ll have surgery on the scars as a sign that you are finally letting go of the guilt you’ve carried for way too long.” Penny’s voice gentled. Her hand slid over his, tender, comforting. “You were not responsible, Rick. You don’t need to bear that anymore. You’ll see.”
That was what he loved about Penny. She couldn’t help being so positive and she always spread it around. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers.
“Thank you,” he murmured, wishing he could hold her for evermore. Unfortunately, he didn’t share her faith in God’s resolution of his woes.
“Let’s get the kids.” She’d barely opened the door when Tara came racing toward her, yelling her name. “What’s wrong?”
“Molly’s in labor,” Tara said. “Can you help?”
“Yes, of course.” Penny pulled out her phone and began dialing even as she spoke to Rick. “You can get the twins and take them home without me, can’t you?”
“Yes.” He grinned at her relief. “Go and help guide another little life into this world and know that I think you’re an amazing woman, Penny Stern.” He leaned toward her and whispered in her ear. “By next Saturday you’ll be Penny Granger.”
She blinked at him in startled surprise before Tara tugged on her arm, drawing her away.
Rick watched her leave. A feather of peace settled his restless heart. With Penny’s help the twins would be cared for no matter what. At least he had one answer to prayer.