‘So, how long will the sale of the house take to go through?’ Carla asked.
The estate agent moved some papers on his desk. ‘The couple whose offer you’ve accepted are selling their house, so…’ he shrugged. ‘Between eight and ten weeks is the usual. As you’re not looking to buy something else, it all depends if the buyer is in a chain, really.’
‘The thing is, I’m thinking of moving into the house until it sells,’ Carla said, taking a deep breath. ‘I’m divorcing my husband, so I need somewhere temporary to live. Eight to ten weeks should be long enough for me to sort something out. And I will have to buy somewhere too, eventually.’
‘I’m sorry for your situation, but maybe I can help?’ the estate agent offered. ‘Tell me your price range and the area and I’ll look for some suitable properties.’
‘Thanks. I’m not sure yet which area I’m looking at,’ Carla said. ‘I’ve got to get my head around certain things. Make a few decisions.’
Five minutes later, leaving the estate agents and clutching a handful of leaflets, she found a cafe, where she ordered a lunchtime sandwich and coffee. Sitting there staring unseeingly out of the window at the passing traffic and thinking about the morning’s meetings, Carla felt strangely detached from reality. As if she was watching someone else altogether make decisions about her life without any regard for the consequences.
‘Yes, I want you to issue my husband with divorce papers,’ she’d told the solicitor without hesitation – citing unreasonable behaviour. At the estate agents, she’d agreed to the offer price for No. 29 without demurring. Two decisions, both of which would spawn innumerable changes and problems in her life, taken so easily.
Selling Amelia’s house was an inevitable outcome after her mother’s death, and one that she was mentally prepared for. But divorcing David? That was something she’d not thought about in years. Once, after his second affair, she’d made all sorts of secret plans for a life without David, only to pathetically accept that the devil she knew was the best option. Now, an impulsive reaction less than a fortnight ago had sent her careering towards an unknown future. A future it would be down to her alone to plan and make work.
During her time in France it hadn’t seemed so daunting. Carla had drawn comfort from the fact that Josette had always lived on her own and seemingly enjoyed being single. At least now she’d have the freedom, for the first time in her life, to do what she wanted without asking anyone’s permission. No parents or husband to question her actions. No children to be responsible for. But the question, what did she intend to do with the rest of her life, had to be faced and an answer found. Something that Maddy had no hesitation in pointing out later that day as she prepared them both supper in her flat.
‘I know Dad’s in the wrong, but running away was an overreaction, wasn’t it? Might have been better if you’d stayed and made him confess to your face. Where the hell did you go anyway?’
‘France. I went to see Tante Josette.’
‘Granny’s sister? Why?’
‘Seemed like a good idea at the time. And it was. I needed to get away and think about what to do.’
Maddy looked at her expectantly. ‘Reach any decisions?’
‘A couple, but right now I think I’m just going to, “wing it”. I think that’s the best expression,’ Carla said.
Maddy pulled the cork out of a bottle of Merlot before looking at Carla. ‘Wing it?’
‘Yes, you know – see where these decisions lead me.’
‘So, these couple of decisions are?’
‘Today I accepted an offer on Granny’s house. And,’ Carla took a deep breath and looked Maddy directly in the eye, ‘I’ve filed for divorce from your father.’ She picked up the glass of wine Maddy had pushed towards her. ‘Those two decisions should be enough to kick start things, don’t you think? Cheers.’
‘Oh, Mum, have you really thought things through, though?’ Maddy said. ‘Selling Granny’s house is one thing, although if you and Dad do divorce, you could keep it and live there?’
Carla, catching the emphasis Maddy placed on ‘if’, shook her head. ‘There is no “if” about the divorce. It’s going ahead. As for No. 29, I am thinking about going to live there for a few weeks until completion, but after that I want a fresh start somewhere.’
‘Have you told Dad you’re back? Has he been in touch?’
Something in the tone of Maddy’s voice made Carla glance at her.
‘Yes. He’s asked me to meet him for lunch tomorrow,’ Carla said. ‘Can’t say I’m looking forward to it. He said there are things we need to talk through.’
‘I think he wants you to forgive him,’ Maddy said quietly. ‘He probably also wants to tell you he and this Lisa have broken up.’
Carla stared at her. ‘Oh. I wasn’t expecting that. When did that happen?’
‘Three days ago.’ Maddy turned away to take their lasagne supper out of the oven and place it on the table. ‘Lisa told him she’d made a mistake and dumped him.’ Maddy topped up their wine glasses before sitting down and joining her silent mother. ‘Will it make a difference? Will you forgive him?’
‘Not a difference in the way your father maybe hopes it will,’ Carla said. ‘And no, I can’t and won’t forgive him this time. Whatever he says, or promises, it’s too late. Years too late.’
‘Are you not scared about divorcing Dad?’ Maddy said. ‘I can’t bear the thought of you being alone.’
Carla reached across the table and touched her daughter’s arm. ‘Hey, I’m fifty this year, not ninety. I’m actually looking forward to having a new life. Doing things I want to. Pleasing myself for once.’ She took a helping of lasagne before saying, ‘Right, can we please change the subject. Tell me about the business. Any interesting new clients?’
Changing the subject worked. Maddy had soon launched into an enthusiastic conversation about her business and nothing more was said about her parents’ marriage problems.
It was gone nine o’clock when Carla reluctantly picked up her tote and said she had to get back to the hotel.
‘Hey, nice bag, Mum. I could do with one like that,’ Maddy said, stroking the leather.
‘Hands off, it’s mine,’ Carla said. ‘Using it gives me confidence. Reminds me while I mightn’t want to paint the town red, I’m going to enjoy my new life on my terms.’
‘I just want you to be happy, Mum,’ Maddy said, hugging her.
‘Thanks, darling – it’s what I wish for us both.’
Walking back to her hotel, Carla thought about how she’d assured Maddy she was looking forward to enjoying her new life, and she truly was. But there was no point in kidding herself the next few weeks – months – were going to be easy, because they weren’t. Tomorrow’s meeting with David was going to be more difficult than she’d anticipated if he did indeed want her to forgive him.
Knowing the way David thought, the fact that this Lisa had dumped him would mean he’d assume that Carla would feel sorry for him, and a forgiving reconciliation would be possible. He wasn’t a man who could live alone. This time though she would not give in and forgive him. No way.