Are You Being Flirted With?

 

 

A Quiz

 

First of all, where are you?

a.Work.

b.A Party.

c.A dark cavern, deep below the Earth’s surface.

d.Right behind you ;)

 

Who’s *maybe* flirting with you?

a.My handsome but roguish boss. God, I hate him.

b.A mysterious girl with purple hair and a beguiling smile.

c.A hooded figure with a—

d.*giggles into hair for thirty straight minutes* I don’t know…

 

The best description of their gaze right now is:

a.Penetrating.

b.Longing.

c.Murderous.

d.Has anyone ever told you you look just like Julianne Moore?

 

You say “shut up.” They say:

a.“Make me,” then call you by your last name. You hate that.

b.“No, you shut up!”

c.“We’ll see… ” [whispered] “We’ll see who’s shutting up… FOREVER.”

d.So what do you do for a living? You seem strong.

 

The two of you are at:

a.The water cooler. He’s being awful. Sexy and awful.

b.The kitchen sink, grabbing ice. Your hands just touched.

c.Odds.

d.I’m really great with kids. Do you like children?

 

Could you describe their eyebrows as “raised provocatively”?

a.Ugh, always. He’s so smug.

b.Yeah, kind of.

c.More menacing than provocative, but there’s some definite furrowing action.

d.[Quietly] You’re not like other guys, are you?

 

Could you describe their penis as “raised provocatively”?

a.Ugh, ALWAYS. This is not a professional working environment.

b.Not applicable in this case but I’m getting a sexy vibe.

c.Less provocative than violent, but isn’t hate the closest emotion to love?

d.Oh god, I spilled water all down my shirt. And your shirt. We’re so wet.

 

You told them your relationship status:

a.Testily, as a retort.

b.Slyly, like “Oh you know, I’m really into baseball and also I’m single so I go to games alone or with platonic friends but definitely not with anyone on a date although I’d like to, why not?”

c.With their hands around your throat.

d.*giggles for another thirty minutes* *pulls most of sweater over head* *knocks over three rows of glasses, breaking them all* You’re so bad.

 

Mostly A’s
Get a grip, Meg Ryan, you are being flirted with HARD.

 

Mostly B’s
Oh big time. This is a five-alarm flirt.

 

Mostly C’s
This is less a flirting situation than it is an underground duel. An understandable error, but a dangerous one. I suggest a quick exit.

 

Mostly D’s
It… feels like you’re flirting with me? (I’m down.)