Frank

Frank is a special kind of rabbit called a ‘French lop’, but all rabbits make very good pets, especially if you’ve never owned an animal before. A rabbit is easy to house, keep clean and feed; in fact, it’s easy to look after.

Your rabbit will need a hutch, which could be outside but is really better in a shed or a garage. Rabbits hate draughts and damp.

Most hutches are just oblong boxes with wire on the front. That’s fine, as long as you use fine-mesh wire to keep out the mice that will steal food, and – this is very important – the hutch is big enough. It doesn’t need a separate sleeping place – that just uses up space and means that you can’t see your bun half the time – but it does need to be roomy, so that the rabbit can lollop about and stretch its legs.

Put nice dry sawdust on the floor, especially in the corner that is used most, and clean the hutch out, not once a week – that’s no good – but every other day. It doesn’t take a minute, and you’ll get some good manure.

There are two ways to feed pet rabbits: a boring way and an interesting way. The boring way is just to offer rabbit pellets from a pet shop (or rabbit mix, though pellets are better because there’s no waste). The rabbit will do fine, but you’ll get much more fun out of feeding it if you take a bit of trouble to find other foods: bits of stale bread, apple cores and raw vegetables like carrots and cabbage leaves – don’t put them in the bin, just put them in the bun.

And from early spring right through most of the year there are loads of wild plants your rabbit will love, especially dandelion leaves. Put out a few of the boring old pellets too, if you like, but give your rabbit a choice. And if you can, make sure it has some hay to eat; not a great bed of it – it’ll only be wasted – but just as much as it’ll clear up each day.

One more thing – don’t forget to keep the drinking bottle filled with clean water, whatever kind of food you offer, so that there’s always a drink handy.

There are dozens of different varieties of rabbit – all sizes and colours and coats. You might decide to have a big one or a little one, an expensive pure-bred animal or a crossbreed from the pet shop. It doesn’t matter which. They’re all clean, and quiet, and soft and cuddly. Like Frank.

Frank is all those things – and huge as well. But there’s one extra special thing about Frank that makes him different. I wouldn’t mind betting that of all the hundreds and thousands of pet rabbits in the world, Frank is the laziest. Life for Frank is one big YAWN.