chapter 23
Education Management
Headteachers, middle managers and curriculum leaders can all contribute to the dissemination of NLP good practice in their schools. Here are some examples of managers who have taken up the gauntlet and spread the word.
Using the Meta Model to challenge self-limiting
beliefs in school
Michelle explains how she is changing the attitudes and behaviour of all her staff to provide a consistent NLP-based approach in her school.
Michelle Sheehy is the Headteacher at Millfield Primary School, Walsall, West Midlands
Project plan The main reason I chose to do the NLP Practitioner training was to find a means of motivating the children in my school, promoting their self-worth and challenging their self-limiting beliefs. I am fortunate to have a committed and innovative staff open to new ideas. I knew that if I were to present an alternative means of addressing the difficulties we faced, they would immediately be on board.
Since becoming Headteacher 4 years ago, the background of the children has always been a barrier that I am keen to remove. The school is on a white council estate with high unemployment. Education is not valued by many of the parents and aspirations are extremely low. Many of the children in school have parents who are addicted to drugs or alcohol. Just before I attended the first 4 days of my NLP Practitioner training, there was a lunchtime incident with one of these children, who we will call ‘Sam’. Sam has two younger brothers and two younger half-sisters. His mother’s partner, who is not his father, is an extremely aggressive and violent person. His mother is also violent. They are both addicts and both the younger boys have spent time sleeping in my office because their mother had been having a “rave” (their word) the previous night.
Sam, being the eldest boy and seeing the vulnerable position his mother is in, is extremely protective towards her and, due to numerous referrals we have made to social services, is suspicious of authority and always guarded when speaking to adults. He is very intelligent and sensitive and likes to be the class clown. However, he has very low self-esteem and if another child appears to be more popular than him, or if he perceives others appearing to laugh at him or criticise him, he reacts aggressively. On this occasion he had lashed out at another child and shouted at the dinner ladies when they tried to sort out the situation. I brought him into my office and asked him why he had behaved in that way. He was clearly upset and told me that everybody hated him. In true headteacher fashion (although I am now ashamed to admit it) I told him he was being ridiculous and that nobody hated him. I then used our usual sanction – putting him on “amber” which meant he lost some privileges. I thought I had dealt with the problem.
Action
After the first 4 days NLP Practitioner training, when I was introduced to the Meta Model, I realised immediately that I had compounded his problems and had basically made him feel even more worthless than before. I therefore asked him to come back for a chat and I used the Meta Model questions to enable him to be more specific about his perceptions and to challenge his beliefs. This was extremely successful. I also used some NLP coaching techniques to enable him to come up with his own solution to his lunchtime behaviour. This involved removing himself from the situation and speaking to a designated member of staff.
I therefore needed to ensure that the teaching staff were trained appropriately so that they would handle him and others in the same way. My ultimate aim is to have NLP techniques embedded in school so that they become second nature. My first staff training session was on the Meta Model. I began by explaining briefly what NLP was and discussing the assumptions underpinning it. We then discussed deletion, distortion and generalisation and immediately members of staff recognised these types of behaviour in the children they taught. We went through different types of questions they could choose to challenge these beliefs and the session was lively and very well-received. Each teacher left with the list of questions and agreed to try to use the Meta Model in their everyday management of learning and behaviour.
Meanwhile, Sam was behaving very well at lunchtimes and encouraging his brothers to do the same. This had been the case from the beginning of June until the end of the school year and for the first weeks of the autumn term. I was therefore disappointed when the Head Lunchtime Supervisor brought him to me for “rudeness”. Apparently, Sam had sought her out and told her that one of her lunchtime supervisors had “anger problems”, that shouting and aggressive behaviour was inappropriate and would not solve anything. He suggested that she should spend some time talking to me! Although I then spent some time with Sam explaining why he should not talk to an adult in this way, I was secretly pleased about his new-found strategies for dealing with stress. When I related this anecdote to my Deputy, apart from finding it amusing, he felt that there was a lesson to be learned here and that there was no point in the teaching staff using some NLP methods effectively if their work was being undone at lunchtime. I then decided to do some training with teaching assistants and dinner ladies so that there was a consistency of approach.
They were extremely receptive and keen to try out the methods. Generalisations such as ‘everyone hates me’ were one of the reasons often given by children for bad lunchtime behaviour and they were pleased that the Meta Model gave them strategies for addressing these beliefs. I asked my teaching staff to feed back on any occasions where they had used the questioning techniques or any other aspects of the training.
Impact
Although it is early days and we have only completed a fraction of the training I intend to do this year, we have had some encouraging successes already with several children in addition to ‘Sam’. The most effective questioning with regard to classwork relates to the teachers now being able to pinpoint the exact difficulty a child is experiencing by asking the question ‘what’s stopping you…?’
They then follow up the child’s response with other Meta Model questions so they can provide the correct support to enable the child to succeed. An HLTA (higher level teaching assistant) provided me with the following transcript she had, showing her success with a child on the autistic spectrum. The child had been asked to work out a sum in Mathematics:
Child: I hate school
HLTA: What do you hate?
Child: Everything at school.
HLTA: Do you hate playtime and lunchtime?
Child: No – I hate work.
HLTA: What sort of work? Which lesson?
Child: I hate Literacy. I hate writing.
HLTA: Do you write in every literacy lesson?
Child: No. We sometimes read.
HLTA: Do you like to read?
Child: Yes.
HLTA: What books do you like?
Child: Magic books and funny books.
HLTA: Do you like Art?
Child: Yes, especially painting.
HLTA: So you enjoy reading, painting and playtime at school.
Child: Yes.
This conversation went on in the same way and eventually the HLTA was able to ascertain the specific aspects of his work that the child was struggling with and made his teacher aware so that she could plan his work more effectively.
Another successful use of the Meta Model could be seen in our nurture group, which is led by a teaching assistant. She uses stories to address certain issues identified by the class teachers of the children in the group. She has now begun to use the Meta Model in the discussions about the stories to get specific detail from the children. This has made the discussions more effective and efficient.
Areas where the Meta Model has been less successful:
Generally, staff have found that the children who are too young to articulate their perceptions effectively, and those children who “shut down” and refuse to answer questions about their difficulties, prove more of a challenge. I feel that it may be useful to do some training with staff on building rapport with these children and encouraging them to manage their state effectively in order to try to overcome the barriers they face.
Next phase
research plan
Whilst I was pleased with the initial successes, I felt it was important to equip the children with skills they could use themselves to help encourage and motivate them in the future. The problem with the Meta Model and the Milton Model (which will be the focus of the next few training sessions for staff) is that the children are still reliant on an experienced practitioner. One of the most important ways in which the children can challenge their self-limiting beliefs is to manage their state so that they are the most resourceful they can possibly be. I want to enable them to do this and teach them how to anchor that state so that they can access it when they need to.
Action
In order to establish how to approach this seemingly daunting task I decided to work with “Sam” again, due to the fact that the change in him had already been significant and that he was now much more receptive to different ways of looking at problems and thinking creatively. I was anxious to ensure that he did not think I was carrying out some strange psychological experiment though, and I did not want to lose the trust I had already gained. I therefore spent some time with him on his work – particularly his writing, which he found difficult. In addition to this, as always, I used humour constantly, which always appeals to him. After spending a few sessions working in this way and building rapport with him, I was then able to help him to remember how he feels in another subject, which he is particularly good at. We changed the submodalities of this state – which he enjoyed – and when he was in the state which would be most helpful to him, we anchored that in a particular seat in the classroom.
Impact
Sam clearly experienced an improvement in his attitude towards his work and certainly appeared to feel more “enabled”. This session took place the week before half term and it will be interesting to see if it may be sustained and if Sam will be able to access this resourceful state again when it is necessary. I will then work with teaching staff on managing state and building rapport. It is my intention that NLP practices will become second nature to my school staff and that we will become a flagship NLP school. Michelle has now completed the Master Practitioner and Teaching Excellence programme.
Disseminating NLP across the whole school
Naina offered short training sessions to Teaching Assistants and Teachers to spread NLP good practice across her school.
Naina Chauhan is Deputy Head/SENCO at West Thornton Primary Academy, Croydon, London
Research plan
My first training session was held on a Friday afternoon and was with a group of 33 teaching assistants. Out of the 33, some were ‘fresh blood’ and raring to go, some were just glad to be out of the classroom on a wet Friday afternoon (it didn’t matter what they were being subjected to!), some were counting their months down to retirement and made no secret of the fact that they did not want to be there, and others, well, they were just doing what they were being told and were happy to play ball!
Action
The Teaching Assistants’ Training sessions
session 1 – ‘ the power of language
‘So what are you going to train us on Naina?
’ Marion asked.
‘Language and Communication’ , was my answer to her.
‘What, because we don’t know how to communicate?’ she asked boldly.
‘No, because we can all learn to communicate more effectively, Marion,’ I smiled at her positively.
She mumbled something and walked out of the ladies toilets, leaving me thinking, ‘this is going to be fun!’
I started with 3 Yes… ‘It’s Friday afternoon, you’re all here and we have one hour and 45 minutes to go to the end of the day’ . That was my first go at the 3 Yes and have been using it since to get attention, whether I am in front of a class of 7-year-olds, in a meeting which I am leading, or wanting to get the attention of my kids at home!
I began with the importance of how we use language and the use of the Meta Model to challenge our own beliefs and those of others, in particular our children:
‘How many of you believe that you’re rubbish at something or you’ve heard someone make a generalisation which you know may not be true?’ The majority of the hands went up…. and that was the beginning of a truly fun, engaging and positive couple of hours! I thought that our TAs would probably be quite shy and not so forthcoming, but it seemed that most of them wanted to come to the front and have their beliefs challenged!
We had all sorts such as, ‘I am really rubbish at maths’… ‘I have no confidence’ … ‘It’s always me who has to clean up’… and of course for me the best one was… ‘I never get picked’ . You can guess the response of the others when Marion (the TA who I had met earlier in the ladies) sat at the front of the room ready to be challenged on that one… she did not remain there for too long! She did however walk off with a huge grin on her face, having just been proven wrong! She did get picked!
The session progressed to cover:
- Language to send people in the right direction
- Using positive suggestions to focus on what you do want
- Rewiring our thinking and using the Meta Model to specify, clarify and change beliefs
There was a real buzz in the room when they left the session and somelovely comments made.
This was my most successful TA training to date! This I believe was because it was something different. It was not the usual run-of-themill training they were used to receiving on a Friday afternoon. The introduction to the subject of NLP came at the end. Only 3 out of the 33 TAs claimed to have previously heard of NLP. For me, it was far more important that each individual felt the impact of what they had just experienced and understood its worth as opposed to knowing that it was an NLP technique, (in the initial part of the session anyway). It made far more sense to mention NLP at the end, as I did not want to blind them with science. I hadn’t even reached home that evening and I received a voicemail on my phone from one TA telling me that she had just used the Meta Model on her 5-year-old who came home from school and said, ‘you never let me do what I want and you’re never fair’ . She said by questioning him further and talking to him, what would have transpired into a huge tantrum and confrontation leading to bad mood, turned into a ‘little giggle’ and a complete change in state. (See TA’s account below)
session 2 –learning strategies
Following the success of the first session, I felt confident that this next session was going to be just as fun, and it was! The whole session was engaging and quite anecdotal, based on my strategy for buying a handbag. There was, however, a confused look from one TA who struggled to see how knowing her strategy for certain things was going to help her on a day-to-day basis. This for me was perfect as I was able to talk about resourceful vs. un-resourceful strategies and about how when people become ‘stuck’ in their lives over certain matters and how maybe changing their strategy could make them become ‘unstuck’.
My strategy for buying a bag:
- Trigger: Shop
- Straight to the Handbag section!
- Go through all the aisles
- Do I really need it? (Internal dialogue)
- Answers always NO!! (Internal dialogue)
- But I want it!! (ID)
- Visualise myself using it (V and K-feel good)
- Visualise my Handbag wardrobe and go through colours/shapes/styles…and convince myself I need it!
- Yes feels right!! (K)
- Walking to till (Guilt)- K and ID)
- Buy!
Resourceful or Unresourceful?
1. That would look great on me (external visual)
2. Try it on (external kinaesthetic)
3. Looks good, feels good (external visual and external kinaesthetic)
4. Buy!
Eliciting strategies
What’s your strategy for...?
1. Find something you are really good at learning
2. In pairs, elicit each other’s strategy (use questions below to help)
What happened when?
Think of the time when?
What did you/do you do?
What steps did you go through?
How did you know you had been successful?
What lets you know when you have finished?
What was the first thing you did?
Before that what did you do?
My handbag example was very amusing for some and I found that by the end of the session some were advising me to keep away from House of Fraser and TKMaxx and to change my strategy and ‘walk away!’. One of the deputies sitting in on the training was completely blown away by how simply changing our use of language could have such a big impact on behaviour. She has been adapting her language with her grandson who has emotional and behavioural difficulties and with whom she has struggled tremendously for a considerable time now. (See Deputy’s account below)
The Staff Meeting
I was all prepared and had rehearsed the ‘ammunition’, which I was ready to fire, expecting resistance from some members of staff. Something along the lines of using Carol Dwecks’ ‘Fixed Mindset’ to illustrate just that point… that a lot of us who claim to be of a ‘growth mindset’ were clearly not! The training was delivered in the same way as the TAs with a little tweaking here and there (additional information). Although it was a little slower to get going, this session also went very well. The teachers were clearly more sceptical and asked many questions, which I expected them to. One teacher did argue that she knew that she was never going to be able to play the piano and that she had no desire to. I explained that this was a choice that she was making, however, was she of the ‘growth mindset’ and if she so desired, then she would be able to play the piano. Being ‘open’ to possibilities and change in your life was something I kept making reference to. Reference was also made to our already ‘oustanding’ challenge curriculum and practice (as noted by OFSTED), and our whole school ethos of creating independent, life-long learners. Implementing NLP techniques was like ‘adding another tool in our toolbox’. On reflection, I did feel like I was having to work very hard at ‘convincing’ people about NLP because of their preconceptions (or ignorance, should I say) on the subject. However, the meeting ended on a very positive note and with a round of applause, which I was not expecting!
Impact
To say that NLP has helped me enormously in my both my personal life and in the workplace would be an understatement! I can see differences in other people which I know for some in particular is having a huge impact on them.
Here, the staff speak of the impact in their own words.
impacts of nlp
Teacher
Last year I was not very confident in my teaching abilities. I was often very emotional and would take things personally. I often found observations and being observed a very stressful experience. Since doing some NLP sessions with Naina, I have been using techniques personally and with my class. I have also shared some techniques with other members of staff. When a child in my class says ‘I can’t do X’
, I have challenged the concept of ‘can’t’ by saying ‘what do you mean, can’t? Can you never…what about when you…?’
The children have started to understand that this is not always the case and I work with them to build their confidence. I have generally felt a lot calmer, more positive and in control. I now believe I am a good teacher and I am making a positive impact on my children’s learning and showing myself as a good role model to others.
Teaching Assistant
After attending an NLP training course delivered by Naina Chauhan, I found myself thinking about everything I was saying, and subconsciously questioning the accuracy of what I was saying. In fact, I have found myself using the Meta Model questions on many occasions and have always had positive outcomes. One example of how I have used the Meta Model was actually on the way home from the training course. I had just picked up my 5-year-old son from school, and on the drive home I told him that I wanted him to go straight upstairs when we got home and get changed out of his uniform before he came down and had a drink and a snack. Only then would he be allowed to play on the iPad.
As usual, he kicked up a fuss and accused me of not being fair and said ‘You NEVER let me do what I want’ and ‘You’re NEVER fair’ . At this point, I immediately turned around and asked him. ‘Yesterday, I let you come home and watch TV straight away without getting changed. So do I sometimes let you do what you want?’ He stopped and thought about it, and then sheepishly replied ‘Yes’ . I then continued with ‘If I sometimes let you do what you want, then you can’t say that I never let you do what you want. Are you tricking me?’ He then started laughing as he thought he had fooled me, and we ended up having a laugh on the rest of the journey home. We got home, and he immediately ran upstairs and did all the things I had originally asked him to do without complaint. On any other occasion (without using the Meta Model questions) my son would have continued his tantrum in the car and stomped into the house protesting against anything I asked him to do. The technique definitely changes negative thinking into positive thinking and leaves you feeling so much better about what you originally felt was a negative situation. From the feedback given by other teaching assistants who attended the course, it seems that everyone had a positive story to tell. Several people had used the technique with children in their class, and expressed how it had made the children feel good about themselves and what they were doing. It is a simple but very effective technique, which I look forward to learning more about.
Deputy Head
After attending Naina’s NLP training sessions at school and after many discussions regarding the positive use of language with children, I decided to try it out on my grandson who has emotional and behavioural needs on our journey home in the evenings. He gets frustrated very easily and is prone to temper tantrums. He is extremely physical and very, very active and is always jumping across the furniture rather than walking into a room. I found I was constantly using the word ‘don’t’
and so, after the first training session, decided that this is the first thing I would change. Instead of telling him not to do something, I asked instead ‘what are you doing?
’. When he replied ‘jumping on the furniture’
, I asked what the furniture was for. Every time he jumped on the furniture after that I asked the same question. He would say ‘it’s for sitting on’
, and would stop. After a few times he got the idea and even if he forgot and jumped on the furniture I would say his name and he would say ‘sorry Nan for jumping on the furniture’
. I then decided to concentrate on helping him to talk about the behaviour he was exhibiting rather than focus on the negative and reprimand him for it. He didn’t understand what I meant at first as he could describe what he was doing physically, but not what he was doing emotionally. It is amazing the difference a change in the language we use can make. My grandson is much more able to verbalise his behaviour and is beginning to use language to express himself appropriately which leads to less frustration and aggression. I am building on this week-on-week as the use of positive language is having a really great effect on his self-image.
Behaviour Mentor
Given the intensive and sometimes challenging nature of the relationships built between myself and the children I work with, the development of rapport is all-important. I have used several techniques such as mirroring to engage more constructively with the children. Mirroring stance and assimilating idiosyncratic phrases the children use helps with the development of rapport. This reinforces the relationship and thus enables the facilitation of progressive change for the children. NLP has helped support the nurturing of trusting and proactive relationships with the children. I am more aware of the language I use around the children. Even though I believed I was considered and selective with my language to begin with, I am more aware of the importance of specific wording and the potential impact. A basic example being the substitution of ‘if’
with ‘when’
. I would often say, ‘if you have a good lesson then you can...’
. Now I rephrase such sentences to, ‘when you have a good lesson you can...’. This is a simple change but is noticeably more positive and has a more beneficial impact. With NLP in mind I have started to apply positive challenges to negative comments, an example of this being a Year 6 girl who stated she was getting very anxious about her SATs in general and Maths specifically. She said, ‘I am rubbish at Maths; I’ve never been good at it.’
A natural response could have been to dismiss this comment, offer empty positive affirmation and move on. I stopped her mid flow in order to analyse her statement. ‘Rubbish in what way?’
She responded, ‘I still don’t know my times tables, I’m rubbish at them.’
I replied, ‘so, you’re “rubbish” at times tables. What are you good at in Maths?’
She listed several methods she could do and other elements of Maths that she felt confident with. ‘Ok, so you’re not “rubbish” at Maths then?’
She responded with, ‘Well, no. I just find times tables hard to remember. My Nan is helping me with them.’
A simple interjection at the opportune moment helped revise the child’s over-generalised statement. NLP has helped raise my awareness of the language I use, when I use it and how I use it. Naina has now completed her Master Practitioner and Teaching Excellence training and she continues to spread good practice across her school.
NLP supports the changes needed in a school in Special Measures
Max Vlahakis is Headteacher at Alumwell Primary School, Walsall,
West Midlands
Research plan
I saw the potential of using NLP to support the leadership and management of my school as I often encounter many difficult and challenging relationships with various stakeholders within the school community. Coincidentally, prior to commencing the course I was asked to take over a school that was in difficulties. The school had gone into Special Measures, which is the most serious of Ofsted categories, because of complete failure in leadership at every level within the school. A key factor in the failure was a breakdown in the interpersonal relationships between staff. I quickly became aware following the training that NLP, especially the Milton and Meta models, could be utilised to effect positive change. Initially, I felt that the presuppositions from the Milton Model could be used effectively to challenge the self-limiting beliefs of the staff, which were mainly to blame for the negative climate and ethos of the school.
I initially organised a series of staff meetings addressing the educational underperformance within the school. However, it occurred to me that a far more significant condition limiting the performance of the school were the extremely poor interpersonal relationships between staff members compounded by several complaints of bullying. The behaviours had split the staff into two factions separated along racial boundaries, and although the complaints, and in fact the issues, were not race-related, a schism had formed between a number of staff who were Asian and a small number of staff who were white. The accusation of bullying had been unresolved for a significant period of time, which had fuelled the negative belief that institutional racism was behind the lack of resolution. Initially, I addressed the issue of bullying using established local HR systems. However, the feelings ran too deeply and I felt that I was papering over the cracks. I therefore decided to use the Milton Model first to build good beliefs, therefore tackling several issues at the same time and to use Meta questioning at a later date to deal with perceived problems.
Action
A special staff meeting was arranged during an additional inset day for me to address issues regarding school ethos. I began the meeting by using the “yes sets” to presuppose success, as follows:
‘We’ve just completed our buffet lunch. We’ve all managed to get here on time and AD gave us a lot to think about this morning during her presentation on guided reading and I am sure that we are all going to work together effectively now to address the issues we’re facing.’
I then established a time anchor using May, when their Ofsted inspection took place, to highlight the negative patterns of behaviour that were occurring in the school when I arrived. For example, staff members gossiping about one another and numbers of HR complaints not addressed and unresolved. I then focused on the present (July) and reiterated the progress we had made to date and looked forward to the future, predicting the progress we were hoping to make by Christmas. I used the following key parts of speech from the Milton Model in order to direct the thinking of the staff members so that they felt empowered:
- Verbs to ensure awareness – ‘I’m not sure if you realise yet that we have already come a long way to addressing our problems simply by recognising that they exist’
- Adverbs to assume that something is true – ‘Fortunately, we already have in place everything we need to effect positive change’
- Adverbial time phrases so that I convinced staff that something was true by positioning it in time – ‘when we achieve our goals, you will all think that this hard work has been worthwhile’
- The more the more – ‘The more we work together, the more we will see how easily we can tackle the problems we are facing’
Impact
This meeting proved to be extremely effective. Attitudes visibly changed and although the staff still suffered from some historical negative feelings towards the situation they found themselves in, they saw the light at the end of the tunnel with regards to their situation. One of the presuppositions that was at the heart of the session for myself as the leader was that the staff had come to school wanting to help every pupil to achieve, whether they realised it or not. It was my aim to remind them of that fact and help them to uncover their motivation.
Following the meeting, the majority of the staff threw themselves into their work with a renewed vigour that comes from believing in what you are doing and being part of a bigger picture.
Whenever the staff met as group it became important to use anchors to reinforce the positive visualisation. An example of this was getting the group into a positive state for brainstorming - the creation of a motivated state. The question was, how can the state be anchored so that the group could get back that same degree of motivation more quickly in the future? The strategy decided upon was the use of a key phrase as a means to draw the focus of the group. The phrase was ‘no problems, just solutions’. This immediately focused the group and individuals to approach meetings they attended in a changed state. They were able to access their ‘want to believe’ state of mind and as a result began to bring forward real school improvement solutions instead of responding to the solutions and reality being imposed upon them by external sources.
The school’s journey from its starting point to where it is now has been quite remarkable. The most difficult change to take place within the school has not been the structural changes, which are straightforward and fairly easy to introduce, but the changes in the beliefs through NLP approaches that have occurred in key staff throughout the school.