What is NLP and what can it do for me?

NLP can change your life. It is a remarkable force for change. We know this because we’ve seen it happen with many, many people over many years.

As a result of using NLP, we’ve seen people bring their dreams to life and make huge things happen – career and life crises solved, managers bringing about radical change in their companies, couples finding happiness after realising what is really important to them, teachers finding new ways to motivate children to learn, entrepreneurs operating at world-class levels, people changing the way they are perceived by others. In short, we’ve watched people use what they’ve learned to become more successful in everything they do. These people are the reason we know that NLP is brilliant – it has given so many the tools and techniques that have enabled them to take huge strides forward in their personal and professional lives, and you can join them.

Simply put!

NLP is a set of tools and techniques to help you deal with unhelpful patterns of thought and behaviour (some you won’t even know you have) and introduce new, positive and constructive ways to improve your life. Although there are many tools and techniques in NLP, you don’t need to learn them all to get started and gain immediate benefit. You can make amazing changes by using just one technique – simply use the exercises to experience what NLP has to offer and prepare to be astounded by the results.

A bit of history

NLP was created by Dr Richard Bandler and Dr John Grinder in the early 1970s in California. Bandler and Grinder have long since gone their separate ways, but have continued to develop NLP models and techniques. In the last 30 years or so, many others have contributed to this evolving field of personal change – too many to mention here. Our more recent contribution can be found in the development of ‘this not that’ thinking in the section on reframing at the end of Chapter 4 and some of the exercises in Chapter 13.

Bandler and Grinder wanted to discover how successful people achieve their results and to then learn how to replicate their models. They began by modelling highly effective therapists and moved on to sales executives, negotiators, public speakers, trainers and leaders. Very soon they had drawn together the very best personal change tools from a variety of disciplines, plus models of excellence from their early subjects, and they designed the very first public training in NLP. Today NLP offers a vast array of effective tools and techniques for positive influence and change. Such tools have been used worldwide by literally millions of people to achieve significant results in all areas of personal and professional lives.

It does what it says on the tin

The letters ‘NLP’ stand for neurolinguistic programming. If you break down the name, it helps explain what it’s all about:

• ‘neuro’ refers to the brain and nervous system
• ‘linguistic’ is the verbal and non-verbal language used to communicate
• ‘programming’ is the unique way you put all this together to create your behaviour.

You have one brain but two minds – one conscious and the other unconscious. When you get out of bed in the morning you begin running programmes stored in the depths of your unconscious mind – the one that remembers how to do all the things you do automatically: how to ride a bicycle, drive a car, make yourself feel good and make yourself feel bad. This storage area is much larger than the conscious mind you are using to read this book right now. The two minds work in a cooperative way – a typical example being when you are reading and your conscious mind suddenly switches to something else. Then, your unconscious mind takes over the reading and you arrive at the foot of the page not remembering anything about what you have just read.

When driving a car, the unconscious mind is capable of getting you from A to B while your conscious mind is focused elsewhere. You have probably experienced arriving home from work without remembering anything about the journey because you have been mulling over the events of the day. This works really well for you while events are ticking over normally and you can repeat habitual actions, such as changing gear, moving off when the lights go green, preparing to stop when they turn to red and so on. If, however, something untoward were to occur, such as someone pulling out in front of you, then your conscious mind would jump into action and take over. You then totally focus on the incident and all previous musing over the day’s events vanishes.

Once formed, a programme has the capacity for amazing consistency, producing the same results over and over again. Some programmes will work well for you, while others may have undesirable results and be holding you back. NLP is used to change the programmes that are not working and create new ones that do.

Have you ever put your keys down somewhere and, then, five minutes later, forgotten where you put them? How can this happen? It’s usually when you interrupt a well-rehearsed routine, such as leaving the house for work. You pick up your keys, grab your bag, check the back door, then, just before you open the front door to leave, you remember that you need to pick up some papers you really need. Now your conscious mind turns its attention to the papers and your unconscious knows you will need a hand to carry them so it instructs you to put your keys down. The trouble is your conscious mind hasn’t registered where you put them down, so you have no visual memory of doing so. Interrupting deep-set habits like this causes all kinds of problems, but you can prevent them by being more consciously aware of your actions when interfering with an unconscious routine.successful people are often thought of as lucky, but is it really luck?

For most people, things happen and they react. NLP offers a better way. It gives you the tools to react differently by choice and be more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. You will discover what really makes you tick and begin to make crystal clear decisions about what you want from work and life. Only you can take responsibility for your results and make changes to improve the quality of your life. It’s like taking firm hold of the steering wheel used to direct your career and personal life and driving it in the direction you want with a real sense of vision and determination. Once you have grasped it, you can use it to generate brilliant results in all areas of your life so you can not only find your keys or drive your car with greater care but also find work and relationships that are fulfilling and develop the strength and confidence to keep you in control of every area of your life.

How well do you know yourself?

Have you ever wondered how it is that two people facing the same set of circumstances can produce diametrically opposite results? Why do some people achieve infinitely more than others? You may also have noticed how some people have a tendency to attract lively, vibrant people, while others are very good at attracting moaners and groaners. There are people who seem to have life sorted out just the way they want it and others who are either just surviving or struggling with frequent problems and difficulties. So what makes the difference?

Successful people are often thought of as lucky, but is it really luck? Luck implies that there is some form of gambling involved but, on close inspection, these people show few signs of taking chances with their lives. Anyway, the sheer consistency with which they achieve good results defies the laws of gambling. No, it has more to do with the way they think.

Taking control of your thinking is key in the pursuit of success. To do this, you first need to realise the impact your thinking is having on your life. You may think that circumstances beyond your control are keeping you where you are, like a frog in a well who thinks that the small circle of blue sky above is all there is outside the well. It is not until he clings to the bucket for the journey skywards that he realises how much more there is out there. The techniques used in NLP are designed to increase your awareness and, as a consequence, your choices in life.

Are you in or out of awareness?

Sometimes the patterns that work really well for you in some circumstances backfire in others, causing either you or others stress and frustration. These patterns have become so habitual that they exist outside of your personal awareness. Here are some examples.

Bernard believed himself to be a hardworking, focused, decisive businessman. He paid attention to detail and nothing escaped his attention. He revelled in his approach and believed that success was achieved through hard graft and strong leadership. He was totally unaware of the impact this was having on his most successful salesman, who felt micro-managed and undervalued.

Nagar fell in love with Said. He was attentive and caring whenever he was with her, but was often late when they had planned to do things together. Very soon they were making wedding plans and a family was on the way. What Nagar soon came to realise was that Said’s attentive and caring behaviour took over whenever he was with his family, friends and colleagues. He was willing to do almost anything to help people out at the time they needed it. The more he did so, the more people asked of him and the less time he spent with Nagar and the new family.

New edition extras

We have received many e-mails from people who have read, enjoyed and benefited from the first two editions of Brilliant NLP. They told us how much the examples and exercises helped them to apply NLP personally, overcome what they thought were limitations and create more of what they wanted out of life. We continue to be delighted and often amazed at the achievements of our readers and so, in this new edition, we have included more brilliant examples and additional techniques in Chapter 13. All the examples used are real, but we have changed people’s names to protect the confidentiality of those involved. We have also introduced a brilliant recap at the end of each chapter to help you integrate your learning. We trust that you will find the additional material useful and encourage you to e-mail us with your own examples of applying Brilliant NLP in your life.

Enjoy!