Beck kissed her back. She could feel her heart racing in her chest, running wild, wild, wild, like a colt that had been penned in for far too long and had now, finally, finally been set free.
But the kiss lasted only a few seconds and then Beck was placing his hand gently on her shoulders and easing away from her. “Tessa, I’m . . . I can’t do this.”
A car turned onto the street.
“I’m not too young,” she said. “I’m almost nineteen.”
“It’s not that. Um, I’m . . . I’m sorry.”
“There’s someone else—is that it? You’re not . . . You’re not married, are you?”
The car slowed.
He let go of Tessa’s shoulder. “No, no, it’s . . .”
“Okay, so you’re supposed to be protecting me. Does that mean you can’t feel anything toward me?”
It was Lien-hua.
She pulled into the driveway.
“I should probably go.”
“Okay, I shouldn’t have kissed you,” Tessa said, trying to recover, trying to salvage things. “I guess I was . . . I thought you wanted me to. I just thought we were—”
Lien-hua stepped out of the car. “Hey.”
“Hey,” said Tessa.
“Hey,” said Beck.
Lien-hua’s gaze went from Tessa to Beck, then back to Tessa. “Everything good?”
“Yes,” Beck answered. “Did you need me to stay outside, or . . . ?”
“We should be fine. Thanks.” Lien-hua was still looking at Tessa. Perceptively. So perceptively. “I’ll contact you in the morning about my schedule,” she told him.
She knows something’s up.
“Okay. Great . . . Well, good night, then.” Beck glanced somewhat uneasily in Tessa’s direction. “Good night, Miss Ellis,” he said to her.
“Good night, Agent Danner.” Her words were thick and distant and felt heavy in her throat.
Without looking back, he went to his car, slipped inside.
Started down the street.
Carrying her computer bag, Lien-hua walked toward Tessa. “Did I disturb something?” There wasn’t judgment in her voice, but still, Tessa didn’t want to answer her.
“No, it’s . . .”
Tell her.
No, don’t! You shouldn’t have kissed him. It’s your fault.
“Are you okay?” Lien-hua asked.
“Yeah.”
No!
“Um,” Tessa said, “I’m gonna go get ready for bed. Cool?”
Lien-hua glanced at her watch as if to say, “Isn’t it a little early for that?” But she didn’t comment about the time. “Of course.”
She was right beside Tessa now and before Tessa could leave she laid a hand lightly on her forearm. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m . . .”
Don’t cry, Tessa. Do not cry.
She turned away before Lien-hua could see the tear forming in her eye. Hastily, she made her way through the living room and then escaped down the hallway to her bedroom, where she covered her eyes and dropped to the bed and made sure she stifled her tears enough so she wouldn’t attract her mom’s attention.