Jim came round with a lobster for us today. He’s a professional, solo creel fisherman who works with a simple open boat. He does it for love, not for profit. He’s a local expert in all kinds of shellfish, and that includes things like whelks (winkles, everywhere else) and spoots (razor clams), which he collects and sometimes pickles.
The lobster Jim brought was enormous, ready slaughtered and cooked, and far too much of a treat to eat casually so we’ll hang on to it for when guests come round. I always feel a stab of guilt when eating lobster. They can easily be 20 or 30 years old by the time they’re caught. And lobsters have been known to live for more than 130 years in captivity. Then there’s the question of how to kill them humanely... which, of course, we didn’t have to do. The sound of their tissues expanding in boiling water and forcing gas out from their shells sounds like a million tiny screams.
They are, however, absolutely delicious. Trumped.
We’re grateful to Jim and the one or two other creel fisherfolk who occasionally pop by with one or two. Lobster thermidor is Susan’s speciality. It may seem a bit old-school, but honestly, it is a wonder of flavour. I have a soft spot for this rather retro dish. It’s surprisingly simple to make as well, and not too emotionally traumatic if you get a cooked or frozen lobster.
Depending on the size of your lobster you can scale up the other ingredients in accordance.
If you do get one ‘fresh’, make sure the claws are rubber-banded shut. As for killing it? Well…
I’ve said that I have a connection to the lobsters in their advanced age. But the real question is: do they feel pain when plunged to their watery demise? There’s an evolving consensus that they do; or at least they can. Fishermen might say they are just ‘big bugs’, and even if they could feel pain that they’re dead before they realise they’re having a boiling bath. Scientists now disagree – a lobster can feel pain. But that they do in this context is uncertain.
What is for sure is that humans feel awkward. Hence all the ridiculous ‘Crustae-stun’-type machines that exist on eBay. They’re for appeasing our consciences, not really helping the poor old lobster. Do you really think sheep and cows don’t suffer? Face it. They can and, in the processes of supermarket supply, they do. If you want to eat them, they have to be dead first. At least let’s kill carefully and with minimum infliction of agony and fuss. Lobsters: stick them in the freezer for 20 minutes to stun, then into the bubbles of doom.
1 cooked lobster, roughly 750g (1lb 10oz)
25g (1oz) unsalted butter
at least 1 tbsp olive oil
1 shallot or small onion, finely chopped
100ml (½ cup) dry white wine
handful of fresh parsley
handful of fresh tarragon
50ml (1¾fl oz) double cream
1 tsp English mustard
good sea salt
freshly ground black pepper
handful of breadcrumbs (fresh or dried)
Parmesan, freshly grated
Serve with:
Plenty of golden chips (see for sweet potato chips)
Makes enough for a romantic meal for 2
Remove the lobster’s head. Use one of your least favourite knives to slice the shell lengthways, so that you’ve got two symmetrical tail shells. Get rid of the guts – if there’s red roe in there, this can add flavour to stocks and butters. Keep it and freeze it.
Remove the flesh from the body, tail and claws and put to one side. Keep the shells of the body intact, but you can crunch up the claws to get all the meat out.
Chop the meat until it is fine and white and make sure there isn’t any shell inside it.
Clean your shell halves, as you’ll serve in these.
Melt the butter and oil in a large pan over a medium heat, then add your shallot. Cook until soft, about 5 minutes, or a surprisingly long time.
Add the wine and stir using a wooden spoon to deglaze the pan. Up the heat and cook until the wine has reduced by about half. Turn the heat off.
Chop your herbs finely and add to the pan. Add your lobster meat, cream, mustard, salt and pepper and stir to combine. Taste. It should taste like the best thing you’ve ever eaten.
To finish, as an optional extra really, preheat your grill (alternatively, use a wood-fired oven, as opposite). Spoon the mixture into your shells and sprinkle with a thin layer of breadcrumbs and some freshly grated parmesan. Grill until golden brown, and serve. With chips! There isn’t a better accompaniment.