Now she understood why smart restaurants had doormen. Laura smiled gratefully as Scott’s door was held open for her and she walked through sideways, like a crab, to squeeze her bags through. Cat was already kissing the maître d’, her bags abandoned in the middle of the floor in the absolute confidence that someone would pick them up and store them safely for her.
‘May I take your bags for you, madam?’ a waitress asked.
Laura handed them over with the same strangled expression Jack reserved for Fee and a tomato-based sauce; their contents equated to almost two mortgage payments in value and it was a nerve-racking experience letting them out of her sight.
‘Over here, Laura,’ Cat called softly, settling herself at a table by the window. It was one o’clock and the restaurant was already at capacity.
‘Just as well you booked,’ Laura said, looking around at the mushroom-coloured walls, tobacco-leather chairs and plush, deep red flower arrangements on the tables.
‘Oh, I didn’t book,’ Cat shrugged, just as Laura caught wind of the jealous looks being thrown at them by the people sitting along the bar in the centre of the room. A magnificent display of fruits de mer was arranged behind them all on a platter – two-tiered for extra opulence.
Laura looked down hungrily at the menu. Carbs. She needed more carbs. And some fat. But no alcohol. She felt a raging thirst and was desperate for a pitcher of water.
‘I’ve already ordered for us,’ Cat said, patting her menu. ‘I come here all the time and honestly, trust me, the Dover sole is just heaven.’
Did it come with chips, though? Laura wondered as the waiter came over with a bottle of Dom. More?
‘Could we, uh, also have some water, please? Laura asked. Tap would be fine.’
The waiter smiled and went off to find a tap, clearly not sure whether they had one.
Cat raised her glass and waited for Laura to follow suit. ‘To new friends,’ she winked, clinking their glasses together delicately.
Laura sipped.
Cat put her glass down slowly and began brushing imaginary wrinkles out of the beautifully ironed tablecloth. ‘So . . . are you going to tell me? Or shall I guess my way to the truth?’
Laura realized she was holding her breath again.
Cat laid a warm hand over Laura’s, watching the way Laura’s bottom lip wobbled. ‘Okay . . . well then, I’m guessing that this is about your boyfriend?’ she said kindly.
Laura swallowed.
‘And your friend?’
Laura blinked.
‘Getting together?’
Laura sniffed.
‘And you discovered it recently?’
‘Monday night,’ Laura whispered.
‘Monday? This Monday?’
Laura nodded.
Cat’s eyes scanned hers. ‘So what – you just left?’
Laura nodded.
‘Is that why you went to Kitty’s?’
‘No, that was genuine stupidity on my part. I really didn’t know it was going to snow. I never would have gone over if I’d known I’d have to stay. It’s not like they’re not busy enough with five small children and a farm to run.’
‘Mmmm, tell me about it. I hardly ever get to see Kitty now.’
Laura looked at her. ‘You don’t?’
Cat shook her head. ‘She’s had five children in seven years. If she’s not breastfeeding, she’s trying to get them to sleep or doing the school run or going to toddler classes or NCT or . . . I don’t know what.’ She gave a hopeless shrug. ‘It’s almost impossible to just see her any more. She comes with an entourage these days. That was why it was so nice seeing her in Verbier.’
‘Oh, I didn’t realize.’ Clearly, neither did Joe. He’d been too quick to judge. Laura admired him for protecting his wife, but he’d failed to see how it might feel from Cat’s perspective. She’d lost her friend to her children. Ultimately, who had really dumped who?
‘It’s life, I guess.’ Cat arched an eyebrow. ‘And I try to look on the bright side. It also creates room for new friends.’
‘Yes,’ Laura laughed. ‘I guess so.’
They were quiet for a moment, reflective again.
‘Do you think you can forgive them?’ Cat asked.
Laura shook her head. ‘They were all I had in the world. I never knew my father, and my mother died when I was six.’
‘Oh, Laura,’ Cat gasped, upset. ‘How long were you and your boyfriend together?’
‘Four years.’
‘Did you ever discuss marriage?’
‘He did. At least he did to begin with.’
‘To begin with? Hey, most guys don’t go into a relationship looking to get married, Laura. It’s usually the endgame when they’re all out of get-out clauses,’ she quipped, taking a large sip of her champagne.
‘Jack’s different. He wanted to take care of me.’
Cat stared at her. ‘He sounds sweet. Didn’t you want to marry him?’
‘No.’ Her answer was swift and decisive, taking Cat by surprise. ‘There were such good reasons why we should, but it just never felt . . . right enough.’
Cat paused, thinking. ‘By which you mean, you didn’t love him the way he loved you.’
‘I don’t know. Maybe.’
‘Do you think he knew?’
Laura looked up at her through her lashes. ‘Yes.’
‘So then maybe that’s why he . . . I mean, I’m not making excuses for him, Laura,’ Cat said quickly, seeing Laura’s expression change. ‘But don’t you think maybe it might have been . . . crushing for him, knowing that he loved you more than you loved him?’
‘Yes.’ Laura’s voice was a whisper. She knew it with absolute certainty. ‘I knew he’d run out of patience with the situation one day. I almost felt like I was waiting for it. I know it sounds weird, but I think the thing that’s almost surprised me the most is how much it hasn’t surprised me – him and Fee, I mean. It never crossed my mind before I found out, and yet now, when I think of them together, it makes perfect sense. They’d be great – I can totally see it.’
‘Damn, you’re nice. Remind me to have an affair with your husband when you marry.’
Laura shot her a pained smile and felt another sharp start of guilt at her actions and feelings for Rob. ‘I’m not saying I forgive; just that I . . . kind of understand.’
‘Were the two of them friends before this?’
‘Totally. We just had our little gang of three. We were so intertwined, I thought nothing could ever break us. I mean, Fee’s always got disastrous boyfriends on the go, but they never last very long. No one could ever really break into our group. We were too bonded for outsiders. But then she started seeing this guy, Paul, a few weeks ago. She was really keen on him, but I kept trying to talk her out of it. I think maybe I sensed she could get serious about him and it made me feel threatened. I didn’t want to lose her.’
‘So instead, she hooked up with Jack last weekend and you lost them both? Great friend she is.’ Cat gave a heavy sigh. ‘I don’t know what to advise, Laura. I mean, I’ve got sympathy with Jack, up to a point. If the relationship wasn’t going to go the distance, then I suppose you knew this day was coming. But sneaking around with Fee behind your back? That’s hardly the way to break it off with you.’ A thought came to her. ‘Unless he deliberately wanted to hurt you. Could he have been trying to make you feel the way you make him feel?’
‘No, Jack’s not like that. He’s not got a vindictive bone in his body.’
‘Well, he’s no saint either, Laura,’ Cat said, squeezing her hand. ‘Don’t make him out to be blameless. There was no excuse for what he did. It’s not your fault.’
Laura looked over at her. ‘But I’m not faultless, am I? I kissed Alex,’ she said quietly.
‘No. Alex kissed you. There’s a difference. You have nothing to feel guilty about.’
Laura looked away as Rob flashed up before her eyes again. She had plenty to feel guilty about it, even though Cat was right – it was nothing to do with Alex.
‘Was it Fee you were talking to this morning?’ Cat asked.
‘Yes.’
‘And what does she have to say for herself?’
‘Not much. She was wrong; I’ve misunderstood – everything I would imagine passes as usual in this type of scenario.’
‘She’ll say whatever it is she thinks you want to hear.’
Laura nodded. ‘I know.’ The tears threatened her composure again, and she hurriedly took a large glug of her drink.
The waiter came over to refill their glasses. Clearly he hadn’t yet found the tap.
‘Is there any chance it’s been going on longer than you think?’ Cat asked when he’d gone again.
‘The affair? No. Definitely not.’
‘How can you be so sure?’
Laura paused. ‘I’m fairly certain it only happened when I broke Jack’s trust.’
Cat fell still. ‘Broke his trust?’
‘One of the reasons I agreed to go to Verbier was because I thought I was pregnant. I confided in Fee about it, but I didn’t tell Jack.’ She sighed heavily. ‘So Fee did.’
Cat gasped. ‘The bitch!’
Laura winced to hear Fee called that, but wasn’t it true? She’d chosen Jack over Laura. She’d made her choice, found a way to lever a crack between them.
‘I just wanted some time, you know? I wasn’t trying to deceive him; I just didn’t know how I felt about it. We hadn’t been trying, and to be honest the topic had never even come up. We’d always just plodded along quite happily, just the two of us. When I realized I was late, I panicked. It meant everything would change and my instincts were telling me it was wrong. But maybe Fee was right,’ she sighed. ‘Maybe I should have told him the second I suspected.’
‘Oh no, Laura, I totally disagree. How could you have a baby if you had doubts about the relationship? I would have done exactly the same as you.’
Laura smiled gratefully for the support, even though she knew it couldn’t possibly be true. A baby was the one thing the Blakes’ money couldn’t buy them, and neither one of them would need ‘time to think’. They knew what she was beginning to realize too late – a baby was a blessing. Being up close and personal with the Bakers had shown her that much.
The waiter came over with their steaming Dover sole. Neither of them said a word as he set it down before them. Cat fiddled with the cutlery on either side of her plate.
‘It’s weird, isn’t it?’ Cat said finally when the waiter had gone. ‘I feel I can trust you. I knew it from the moment we met. I don’t get that with many people. I usually feel like most people want something from me.’
Laura felt herself swell at the compliment. She felt it too. ‘I don’t suppose this has ever happened to you, has it? No one’s ever broken your heart?’
‘Oh yes they have,’ Cat replied, spearing a minted pea.
‘Really? Let me guess – Alex?’
Cat laughed, a tinkling sound. ‘No. No, bless him, although I know I broke his a long time ago. I think he’s forgiven me, though.’
‘Who was it, then? Was he wildly handsome and romantic?’
‘Yes, yes and no. He was wild and handsome, but not romantic. In fact he was cruel. He took pleasure in watching me humiliate myself for him. He thought I was such a princess when we first met – he actually told me that. He liked seeing me broken.’
‘Broken?’ Laura stopped cutting. ‘He sounds sadistic.’
Cat stared into her plate. ‘Maybe he was. He just liked the game and having that kind of power over me. He threw just enough scraps to keep me hanging around him in vain hope. All my passion for him went completely unrequited. We only consummated the relationship once; I was so desperate for him, I actually begged him for it. But when we did it, it was like he was . . . bored.’ Her voice had become tiny.
She inhaled suddenly, coming to. She looked up at Laura, taking in her dismayed expression. ‘But what are you gonna do? I personally think all the most interesting people have had their hearts trampled upon by someone at some time or another. It makes you tough; it forces you to find ways to survive and adapt and go on. Don’t you agree?’
‘I do,’ Laura replied quietly, resuming nibbling her sole. She’d never felt less hungry. ‘Thank God you found Rob.’
‘Yes, absolutely,’ Cat agreed heartily, squeezing a half-lemon in its gauze. ‘Thank God I did.’