Laura shuffled into the boot room. Her suitcase was behind the door, bulging. Carefully she tipped it over and unzipped it, lifting out the champagne suede box that was next to the stackable trays inside. She peered in at the necklace, so beautiful and so untrue – just like the woman it was intended for. Of the seven charms, only five could be deemed to be accurate: Rob’s, Olive’s, Kitty’s, Sam’s and Orlando’s. But Alex’s and Min’s? They were connected by the same lie, a vein of poison that tainted everything.
She heard the conversation level rise and a small round of applause come from the drawing room, and realized Kitty had reappeared as herself again. They were all just waiting for her now – or, more specifically, the necklace. The reason for entering Cat’s life was upon her, and within the hour, all reason for staying in it would have gone. As much as she loved Kitty (and even Joe, for she saw what lay behind his gruffness now); as much as Orlando made her laugh and even Sam made her smile; and as much as Rob found in her the passion and vitality she tried so hard to suppress, they all belonged to Cat, and always would. Deciding between her and Cat wouldn’t even be a choice.
She glimpsed a glint in the crease of her folded jeans and pulled out a stray charm that had escaped one of the trays. She rolled it in her palm. It was one of her favourites – enigmatic, with multiple meanings . . . She gasped and quickly rummaged in her tools.
Suddenly, she knew exactly what she had to do.
Rob met her at the door as she walked back in, and she wordlessly handed the box to him. Everyone fell silent as they saw it in his hands. Cat’s eyes flickered to hers as she saw her gift, understanding instantly what she was getting and exactly why Laura had come into her life; and Laura saw in that instant the disappointment register in Cat, that deep down she had always known she would find. It wasn’t enough for her, but the difference was that now Laura knew nothing ever would be. What Cat really wanted, money couldn’t buy and Rob couldn’t give her.
‘Cat,’ Rob began, a tentative smile on his face, his hand over the top of the box, even though its contents couldn’t possibly be a surprise. ‘You’re a hard woman to buy for. Every year I drive myself to the edge of insanity trying to find the one thing that will show you exactly what you mean to me, and every year I never quite make it. But this year, I know I’ve pulled it off.’ He tapped the box. ‘A month ago, I asked Laura to create a charm for every one of us here – with the exception of one absent friend – that encapsulated what each person meant to you. She’s worked incredibly hard interviewing us all to get the stories and memories that we’ve each made with you, and although I haven’t seen it myself yet – secretive much?’ he joked at Laura, ‘– inside here there’s a visual landscape of your entire life. A shorthand, if you like, of everything that matters to you. It includes the highs as well as the lows because I’ve always believed it’s not fortune that shapes us but adversity – and I do love your shape!’ he grinned, prompting wolf whistles from Orlando and David.
‘Seriously, though, I specifically asked Laura not to airbrush what she learnt about you and your relationships, not because I want to hold a light up to your faults—’
‘What faults?’ Orlando interjected loyally.
Rob grinned. ‘. . . But because there’s nothing I could hear about you that could ever change the way I feel.’ His expression became more serious. ‘I don’t love you because you’re perfect; I love you because you’re not. I know many people look at you and see you in a certain way – they think you’ve got it all – but the people in this room know you’ve been through hard times like anyone else: your crazy childhood, your parents’ divorce . . . You know what it is to have your heart broken.’ His voice cracked and he paused as Cat’s eyes locked with his. Laura caught the current of recognition that flashed between them – they both knew what he was really saying. ‘But nothing can diminish you. You’re complicated and exciting and I wouldn’t have you any other way. So I want you to wear this knowing that it’s made with full awareness of who you are in your entirety, and given with the entirety of my love. Happy birthday, darling.’
A single tear slid down Cat’s curved cheek. ‘Oh, Rob,’ she whispered, placing a hand on his chest and looking up at him. ‘I don’t deserve you.’
‘Never say that,’ he murmured, bending down to kiss her lightly on the lips. Laura stared into the fire as everyone clapped and cheered, apart from Sam, who was shaking her head and saying to David, ‘What’s wrong with Cartier?’
Carefully, Cat opened the box, a gasp of genuine surprise escaping her as the firelight caught the precious metal and it twinkled before her. ‘Oh my God, it’s beautiful!’ she whispered in amazement, automatically catching Laura’s eye and forgetting the ferocious threats she had made not ten minutes earlier.
After a moment’s polite restraint, everyone else leaned in and peered at it too, gasping and cooing as if it was a baby bird in a nest.
‘Oh, Laura!’ Kitty cried. ‘It’s absolutely gorgeous. How on earth did you do that?’
‘Fuck me,’ Sam muttered, looking up at David. ‘Scrap what I just said. I want one of those.’
‘Thanks, mate,’ David said, rolling his eyes as Rob patted him on the arm consolingly.
Rob looked over at her, respect mingling with something else – sadness? – in his eyes, and she realized he was saying goodbye. The solitary moments they had shared – glimpses of another path – were in their rear-view mirror now. He was moving forward with his wife.
Cat’s finger lightly pushed over the charms and they jingled prettily.
‘Can you guess which one’s mine?’ Rob asked in Cat’s ear, as much in the dark as she was.
‘What am I?’ Sam demanded, frowning.
‘Well, I’d have to say bossy, noisy—’ Alex began, earning himself a wallop in the stomach.
Cat shook her head. ‘I’m trying to guess.’
‘Would you like Laura to tell you?’ Rob asked, and Laura took a deep breath in readiness.
But Cat, seeing the anticipation of a month’s work explained, shook her head. ‘No. I’ll work it out. It is my life after all.’
Rob looked across at Laura, as stunned as she was. ‘Sorry,’ he mouthed.
‘It’s fine.’ She was all done. It was over, then. Cat had specifically warned her not to say one word. There was nothing else she could do. She couldn’t jeopardize Rob’s hopes of making a new start with his wife. ‘But if I’m not needed, then I’m afraid I have to get going.’
Six heads whipped round. ‘What?’
Kitty rushed forwards. ‘But you can’t! What about dinner? And we’ve . . . we’ve got some catching up to do.’
‘And we will, I promise. But not tonight. I’ve got to get home. I’ve got a long journey ahead and I won’t be home till after midnight. Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve and I’ve got so much to do. But before I go, this is for you, Kit, for your birthday. You don’t have to open it now if you don’t want to. It can wait.’
Kitty’s mouth dropped in surprise as Laura pressed a narrow suede box into her hands. ‘Are you kidding? I have to open it now. I’ll die of curiosity if I don’t.’ She flipped open the lid to reveal a necklace with a single charm – a golden boot with a tiny mouse peering over the top.
‘Shall I explain it to you?’ Laura asked.
‘I already know it. There was an old lady who lived in a shoe; she had so many children she didn’t know what to do,’ Kitty giggled.
‘That’s right, and it’s meant with fondness and affection. I’m not saying you’re old, either! But you’re an amazing cook and mother, and you could make a home in a car or a tent or a shoe. I love the noise and chaos in your house, with all your children and animals, and it’s shown me that a quiet life isn’t an ordered life, it’s an empty one. I only realized when we arrived here this evening that you remind me of my own mum. You make me feel safe, like she did, and you’ve shown me that home’s what matters – something I’ve spent a long time trying to pretend wasn’t really true.’ She took a deep breath. ‘You are one of the few people in this world I feel truly at home with.’
Kitty had her arms wrapped around Laura’s neck before she’d got the last word out, big tears wetting her neck. ‘Oh, Laura!’
‘I’m sorry I messed up before,’ Laura whispered into her hair. ‘It won’t happen again.’
Kitty blinked back at her and Laura knew she was forgiven. Cat might keep the others, but Laura was going to put up a fight for Kitty. ‘I’ll ring after Christmas, okay?’
Kitty nodded as Orlando rushed over for his hug and Alex, Sam and David lined up behind.
‘I think I’m probably going to be giving you a call after Christmas,’ David said wryly. ‘You can imagine the headache I’ll get if I don’t.’
‘Damn right,’ Sam quipped. ‘You think Cat’s life’s colourful? You ain’t heard nothing yet!’
Laura laughed. ‘Well, I’ll look forward to hearing it!’
Alex paused in front of her with a degree of trepidation when Cat suddenly broke in. ‘Oh, tell me, then! I know you’re all dying to hear.’
Everyone looked back at her. In the shock of Laura’s imminent departure, she’d been momentarily forgotten.
‘I mean, I guess until I get the interpretation behind the necklace, it’s just another piece of jewellery, right?’ Cat held the necklace out in her hand.
Slowly Laura walked back and took it from her. Her bluff had worked. What was the saying? Curiosity killed the Cat?
Straightening her fingers into a corona, Laura draped the necklace over her own hand, feeling everyone’s interest peak. She looked for the first charm and then took a deep breath.
‘Well, this is for Olive,’ she said, picking out a charm of a pea pod split open to reveal three peas; the two at either end were golden, but the one in the middle was a small, cultured pearl. ‘The pod represents the fact that you came from the same womb, or pod, and are sisters. There’s a pea for each of you, obviously, but this pea here,’ she said, pointing to the pearl, ‘represents Daniel and the fact that he came not only between your births, but his death has come between your lives too. The impact of what happened the day he died has been devastating for you both – even though you were only a baby yourself, Olive, and Cat wasn’t even born. Your parents failed you when they put all the blame on you, Olive, and when they put all the hope in you, Cat. I chose a pearl for Daniel because they historically represent forgiveness, and although you couldn’t see this yourselves as children, I hope that you can see it now and perhaps try to work towards forgiving each other. Sisters are . . . They’re such important people. You should treasure each other.’
An uncomfortable silence followed as everyone avoided Cat’s and Olive’s eyes. Cat had strapped her arms across her body as if she was wearing a straitjacket, although the blanched skin of her arms beneath her fingertips betrayed her high emotion. Olive must have seen it too, for she suddenly crossed the room and wrapped her arms around her sister, kissing her hard on the cheek.
‘I’m sorry I blamed you for stealing away Mum and Dad’s love. It wasn’t your fault. They should have had enough for us both.’ Olive’s voice was low and dignified.
‘I-I-I’m sorry too,’ Cat stammered quietly. ‘I wasn’t good enough to—’
‘You’re good enough for me,’ Olive rebutted. ‘I just had to have someone I could pass the blame on to, that’s all.’
‘What else are little sisters for?’ Cat managed.
Rob looked at Laura in amazement and winked at her. It was such a casual gesture but it almost floored her, and she looked away quickly. She could see the hope rising in him like a full moon and she couldn’t bear to see it. The necklace might go some way in helping reconcile Cat and Olive and heal past hurts, but it couldn’t change what Cat had done or was still doing.
Laura found the charm of the flower fairy and rested it in her palm; she could almost hear everyone hold their breath as they waited to discover the identity of the next charm.
‘This one is for Kitty. Fairies represent eternal youth, and that’s where your relationship is rooted. Kitty’s your oldest and dearest friend, who just loves you so much. You’re not as close as you once were, but you should be,’ she said, defiantly looking up at Cat. ‘You shouldn’t drift away from her because your lives are different now. You are each other’s childhood and you can’t leave that behind you. Kitty was the only reason you have any happy memories of your childhood at all, so keep her with you.’ Laura paused. ‘Plus she can cook – frankly, you could learn a lot!’
Everyone burst out laughing; everyone except Cat, and Kitty, who was weeping quietly into Joe’s lapel as the farmer smoothed his wife’s shaking shoulder. He caught Laura’s eye and nodded at her approvingly.
‘Too much sherry,’ he snapped as Sam cast one of her quizzical looks.
Laura smiled hesitantly and looked straight back down. She moved the necklace round on her hand so that they could see a helter-skelter slide, complete with a staircase disappearing up the inside. ‘This helter-skelter is for your friendship with Sam. It represents all the wildness and wind-in-your-hair freedom of your university years.’
‘Yeah!’ Sam beamed. ‘I reckon that’s spot on. The wind in our hair . . .’
‘I was thinking, originally, about a stirrup. You could pretend it was from Gucci and it means “taming the wild”, but I’m not sure anyone’s ever going to tame you two when you’re together.’
Rob and David high-fived each other at that.
‘Orlando, this one’s yours,’ Laura smiled, looking up at him. He was beaming down at her, arms crossed proudly. ‘A wishing well, because you and Cat made each other’s dreams come true. And look, if you see here, the little handle turns,’ she murmured, giving a demonstration and hearing a small admiring gasp come from him.
She took a deep breath. ‘Alex, I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear I’ve given you a horse—’
‘Wa-hey!’ he cheered, but his joy was hollow; she could see the apprehension in his eyes.
‘It’s not actually as transparent a symbol as you might think,’ Laura warned him. ‘In the Bible, for instance, horses are a symbol of intelligence and diviners of danger. They also represent strength and power. And of course there’s the most famous horse of all – the Trojan horse, which hid enemies in plain sight, bringing traitors into the midst.’ She gave a long pause, watching the Adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat, before she finally smiled. ‘But you were Cat’s first love, the man who introduced her to passion, and it seemed fitting to represent that vital chapter in Cat’s life with the virility of the horse.’
He nodded, relieved. ‘Great. I might get one myself and wear it round my neck.’
‘Go for it,’ Laura replied coolly, wiping the smile off his face.
She turned her attention back to Cat.
‘Your boss, Min, isn’t here tonight, but this charm of the apple is hers. I had to think long and hard about this charm because your relationship with her is so much . . . “looser” than it is with everyone else on this project. In fact, I soon discovered you scarcely have any personal relationship with her at all. Rob only really asked for her to be included because of what she represented to you –’ she watched as the corners of Cat’s mouth drooped ’– which is, of course, your great love of art. Because it was while working for Min at the gallery that you achieved one of the greatest highs of your life – securing Ben Jackson.’
Cat set to stone before her eyes, her breath shallow, her blinking significantly slowed. Was Laura really going to do it? Laura saw Rob tense too.
‘I would have liked the charm to represent Ben directly, but his exhibition was called “Exposure”, and I’m afraid I still can’t work out how to cast the wind in gold.’ Laura smiled. ‘So I decided to use art itself to represent him, hence the apple. It’s one of the most enduring symbols throughout the history of art – from early religious iconography, where it represented the Fall of Adam and Original Sin, through to its use as a symbolic prop in Renaissance art, as a still-life form in the seventeenth-century Dutch movement, and through to modern art, where it’s been celebrated by artists like Cézanne and Braque . . . But what really confirmed for me that the apple was the right charm was the Greek myth about the Judgement of Paris. Do you know it? It’s very famous.’
Cat slowly shook her head. ‘Why don’t you tell me?’
‘It was a contest between the three most beautiful goddesses – Hera, Athena and Aphrodite – for the prize of a golden apple that was inscribed with the word “Kallisti”, which means “the most beautiful one”. Paris of Troy was chosen to select the winner. Hera, the goddess of marriage, tempted him with land and power. Athena, the goddess of war, tempted him with military skill and wisdom. And Aphrodite, the goddess of love, tempted him with Helen of Sparta, the most beautiful woman in the world, as his wife. Of course Paris fell in love with Helen and Aphrodite won, but when Paris abducted Helen to be his wife, it triggered the ten-year-long siege of Troy, which only ended when the Greeks sent in the Trojan horse. All that because of a golden apple.’ She shrugged.
Rob snapped his eyes up to Laura’s as her words settled.
Cat looked over her shoulder at Rob. ‘Darling, you’re the classics scholar. Are you keeping up with this?’
Rob was silent for a long moment. ‘. . . Laura’s drawing the causal link between the golden apple and the Trojan horse.’
‘Yes, I got that – but what’s it got to do with me?’ Cat asked.
‘Most people would call you a modern-day Helen. Men fight over you too,’ he replied, his jaw tightening like a screw.
Cat met Laura’s eyes triumphantly before reaching a hand to his cheek. ‘Would you, baby?’
Rob, standing stiffly, didn’t reply as she reached up and kissed him with an open mouth.
‘There’s just one charm left,’ Laura said quickly, resting a plumed bird in her palm. ‘Your charm was really very simple, Rob: the cuckoo.’
‘The cuckoo has many meanings,’ Rob said quietly.
‘Yes, it does,’ Laura agreed.
‘I know one!’ Sam called out. ‘They lay their eggs in other birds’ nests so that another bird raises their young.’
‘That’s right, they do,’ Laura murmured, her eyes steady on Rob’s. ‘In fact the word “cuckold” is derived from “cuckoo”.’ Cat’s hair swished as she looked up at Laura sharply. ‘But in this instance, I’ve referenced it as one of the birds of Hera, the goddess of marriage.’
‘Her again? You’ve mentioned her already,’ Cat said archly.
‘Yes. Because everything interlinks, Cat.’ Laura’s unruffled tone stopped Cat in her tracks, and she looked back down at the bird charm suspiciously as though it was calling out secrets.
‘I couldn’t think of a better motif from someone who prizes marriage so highly and would do anything to protect it. I know you realize how lucky you are.’ Laura held out the necklace for Cat to take. ‘Happy birthday, Cat.’
Cat lifted her ponytail so that Rob could fasten the necklace. Laura had shortened the chain so that it sat at the very base of her neck, the middle charm resting in the hollow of her throat. It looked magnificent next to her dress, her skin, her hair.
‘Wow! So then this is my life – a pea pod, a fairy, a helter-skelter, a wishing well, a horse, an apple and a cuckoo.’ She looked at Laura with a respect that belied the fractured friendship. ‘I was right about you. You’re the bomb.’
Laura nodded. Yes, she was.
She looked around the group for the last time – though Rob wouldn’t meet her eyes – and quickly said her goodbyes. She knew that, bar Kitty, she wouldn’t see them again. Her infatuation with the Blakes was over.
‘Alex, can I see you for a sec?’ she heard Rob ask as she walked out of the door.
Outside, it took three starts before Dolly jumped into life, shaking on her wheels as she shook off her snowy slumber. Laura was just throwing her into reverse when she looked up to find Rob and Alex talking in the garden. By the time she’d shifted into first, Alex was sprawled in the copper-beech hedge, and Rob was massaging his fist. Laura knew she ought to laugh – Alex deserved everything Rob could land on him – but for some reason, she found she could only cry.