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A SOFT KNOCK STARTLED LEAH AWAKE. Squinting in the daylight, she searched for the clock on the wall. It was already almost noon.
Yawning and stretching, she forced herself to fully wake. She’d gotten so caught up in book eight of Valeska’s Adventures the night before that she’d burned through one of the precious few candles still left in the cottage. She had no idea how late it had been when she’d finally finished the book, eventually shut off her mind, and nodded off.
Rubbing her face, she approached the front door. Another soft knock disturbed the silence. It was Wren’s day off, and the other escorts didn’t use playful special knocks like he did, but they weren’t usually this quiet.
Pulling the curtain to the side, she peered through the window in the door. Panic flooded Leah as she stared straight at Camry, who gave her a smile. Leah’s heart and lungs forgot their jobs.
Her jaw dropped as she sucked in a breath. Within the span of about three seconds, a mile-long list of horrors raced through her mind. She was wearing Camry’s pajamas. She hadn’t showered in a couple of days, and the bedding sprawled out on the sofa definitely needed a wash, too.
The painting in the bedroom closet. The empty wall now gaped in the absence of the wedding gift she’d taken down. Their wedding photo lay facedown in the bedroom. Leah’s underwear was in one of their drawers, and... Kill me now. Her passport was still tucked away in Camry’s underwear drawer.
That didn’t even touch on the messy bathroom and the unfortunate garden experiment.
Mankind truly did not understand the full meaning of the word mortified.
And what was Leah to do? This was Camry’s home! Leah couldn’t simply pretend they weren’t staring at each other right now. Couldn’t ask her to wait while she scrubbed down the cottage and ran away with her tail tucked between her legs.
She forced herself to open the door. “Camry,” she breathed.
Camry lunged for her, sweeping her up in a hug. “Hey, Leah.”
Leah wilted. “Hey.” She quickly pulled away, backing toward the sofa. “I’m so, so, so sorry. I didn’t even realize what day it was, and...” She tugged the blanket from between the sofa cushion and back, folding it. “I should have... I’m just going to straighten up, and I’ll get out of here.”
“You don’t need to leave,” Camry said softly, tucking her chestnut hair behind her ear.
“No. I do,” Leah insisted. Granted, she needed at least half a day to properly wash herself, the laundry, and the house. “I’ll hurry.” She glanced at the door. “Where’s Tobias?”
“He’s at Rachel and Guillen’s.”
Which probably meant they’d heard it all. That she was pregnant. That she’d smacked Marcus.
“Oh,” Leah replied. “Well, I’ll straighten up, and then you guys can have your place back.”
“Leah,” Camry said a little forcefully. “We’re not kicking you out.”
“No, I...” Her breathing was rapid as she shook her head, stacking the blanket on her pillow. How could she have lost track of time so badly that she’d completely forgotten they were coming to visit? And not only for a weekend? It was November, and they were gathering to celebrate Thanksgiving. “This is your home. I’m sorry.”
Camry cocked her head. “Are you going back to the palace?”
Even if Leah groveled, begging to return after storming out the way she had, there wasn’t a chance Catrina would allow her to move back after Leah hurt Marcus.
“No.”
“Then, where will you go?” Camry asked cautiously.
Leah turned to her, quieting. She had nowhere to go. She should have been sorting that out while here, not just hoping that Marcus would come back to fix things for her, not spending all her time lost in books to escape. “I’ll figure it out.”
Camry took a seat in the armchair. “We already settled in at Rachel and Guillen’s guesthouse. We knew you were staying here. And that’s fine.”
Biting the insides of her cheeks, Leah sat on the sofa. “You know?”
“That you’re pregnant?”
As she met Camry’s eyes and nodded, she recalled with perfect clarity the conversation she’d had with Marcus when she’d told him she was pregnant. He had wanted to give up their baby.
Well, if you decide not to keep it... You know, Tobias and Cam have talked about adopting...
He’d jumped right to offering up their child to his brother and sister-in-law. Was Camry there to accept his offer? Had he made a unilateral decision that Catrina would surely uphold, since Leah had proven herself an abusive, unsuitable mother?
“I, uh, yeah,” Leah said. “Pregnant. I’m keeping it.”
Camry nodded, unfazed. “That’s what I heard. How are you feeling?”
Okay, so maybe I jumped to conclusions about Marcus just turning over our baby without proper warning or a discussion...
“Better. My maternal, er, morning sickness is all gone.” She did the math. She was nine weeks along. Nine! She’d spent nearly seven weeks holed up in this cottage.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
She was still beyond embarrassed to be disheveled and squatting in their cottage, even if it was her only option at this point. “I really am sorry.”
“Don’t be. I brought you a gift from back home, by the way.” Camry smiled brightly, pulling a tube of lipstick from her jeans pocket.
Leah couldn’t hold back a small smile herself as she accepted it. They’d originally shared a bonding moment over lipstick. “The human bringing the good stuff. Thank you.”
Camry shrugged. “Not exactly a baby shower gift, but we’ve got time for that.”
Turning it in her hand, Leah studied the sleek tube, admiring the shade Camry had picked out. It was a pretty pink with a slight brown undertone. “Thank you.”
“We’re having a big family get-together at Rachel and Guillen’s place. Do you want to join us? No rush if you want to get dressed.”
Camry and Eric—Kaylah’s husband—were American humans. Rachel had been raised by a human mother as well. Most Ivies didn’t celebrate human holidays, but this group did, and Leah had enjoyed that part of her old home. It was still too early to gather for Thanksgiving, so this was probably just to celebrate Tobias and Camry’s arrival, but Leah couldn’t face either of Marcus’s parents right now. And things would only be going downhill with Tobias at this point. Leah wouldn’t be attending, but that didn’t stop her from asking what she needed to know. “Is Marcus over there?”
Camry pursed her lips. “Not yet, but I think he’s planning to come.”
“No, I...” She couldn’t come up with an excuse. She what? Had plans? Needed to wash her hair? At least that one was true. “I’d rather not. But thank you.”
Drawing a deep breath, Camry scooted to the edge of her chair. “Do you want to hang out, just you and me?”
“Maybe another time.”
“Alright. No pressure. If you change your mind, you’re welcome to come over. And we’ll be here for the better part of a month, so there’s plenty of time. You’re obviously still invited for Thanksgiving.”
Leah nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“Well, I’ll,” Camry gestured over her shoulder toward the door, “head out. I just wanted to see you and say hi, and invite you over.”
“Thanks again.”
Camry stood, seeing herself out.
Leah sat there, numb. She stared at the tube of lipstick, musing on its familiarity. It wasn’t like natural Green Lands makeup. ‘A gift from back home,’ Camry had said. From Camry’s home, the human world. Not Leah’s home. It had been her childhood home, but she’d been unable to call it that after she tried to kill Kaylah. She’d forfeited her right to choose which realm, which world she would live in.
Leah had nothing waiting there for her anymore. Nothing and no one.
But she didn’t here either. And over there, she could at least start a new life where she wasn’t the daughter of Soren and Beata, wasn’t tainted by their legacy.
A familiar eerie cold settled into Leah’s chest as she started to cry. She was ready to leave. She was ready to run. If Marcus had wanted to fix things between them, he could have by now.
She yearned to disappear. But how? She had an escort posted at the door around the clock. It wouldn’t be that hard to sneak over one of the brick walls in the backyard and drop into a neighbor’s yard to get away. She’d snuck out of her own house more than once growing up, and she’d snuck a guy into her bedroom with her mom in the other room.
But then ... what about the rifting?
She wasn’t nervous about whether she could rift safely. Unlike Ivy poison and chemical arts, rifting only required Ivy energy, and that she had in spades, unhampered by her pregnancy.
Sniffling, Leah pondered her options. Sneak out and trek a few miles to the nearest rifting cave? And then what? Hand her passport to the cave employees and waltz through? Every living, breathing creature in the realm knew who Leah was, and Catrina had to have already made her passport null and void.
Most people were fight or flight. Leah was both.
She had only one option. It was illegal. She’d done illegal before, and she could do it again.
Leah set to work tidying up the cottage. She wouldn’t take time to shower or wash things, but she could make it a little more presentable.
The bathroom wasn’t that bad, all things considered. She placed her folded bedding on the end of the bed, sparing a momentary gut-wrenching frown, imagining him lying there beside her, holding her.
She retrieved the painting from the closet and hung it on the living room wall, hoping Camry hadn’t noticed. She flipped their wedding picture upright, grabbed her passport from Camry’s underwear drawer, and even tucked her own clean underwear in her jeans pockets after she dressed in her own clothes. The underwear was skimpy enough to all fit, and it wasn’t like she could buy more anytime soon—Leah didn’t have a single human penny to her name.
Last time, when she’d run away to the Green Lands, she’d crafted an elaborate plan. One that had imprisoned her and her mom.
Mom. Leah released a shaky breath. Maybe it was better this way. Yes, her mom was lonely in prison, but her mom’s sisters and nieces and nephews sometimes visited...
Leah was leaving. This time, as she ran away from the Green Lands, she had no plan, but she at least knew how to get around, and could find a women’s shelter...
After chucking her bamboo toothbrush, Leah peeked out the front- and back-door windows. Her escort stood guard, ever watchful, at the front door. Leah sketched out an apology on a piece of paper—a simple I’m sorry for everything—and left it next to her most recent read from the library.
She paused, her hand glued to the library book. She spared another glance at the front door. Her gut twisted as she considered Lycha, her current escort. Leah hadn’t gotten to know her nearly as well as Wren, and she was glad Wren wasn’t there right now, but it wasn’t right for Lycha, either. She’d probably be canned like Robyn had been for helping Leah at the palace. No matter what, Leah was always sowing destruction, burning people in her wake.
And in that moment, she thought of her dad, Soren, of all people. Even he had been destroyed by Leah’s existence, though he’d died never understanding that.
Slipping into the backyard, Leah picked a ripe pimple berry—white, mild, and creamy. She’d miss the unique plant life of the realm.
Her heart thumping wildly, she glanced between the handful of trees. She’d never actually rifted through a tree. It was illegal from the human world, as it required the sacrifice of the tree. Other than in the case of emergency, it wasn’t even allowed in the Green Lands unless it was on your own property.
They could add this to the list of her offenses. She could handle knowing she’d be penned into the history books as a disappointment like her parents. That was the legacy she’d inherited.
Ivies, at least in the old days before rifting caves had become commonplace, generally preferred to rift through pine trees. Apparently, the energy worked differently depending on the tree, and the process imparted a flavor to the rifter. Pine trees allowed rifting with more ease, and tasted faintly of vanilla.
Tobias and Camry had no pines on their property. Leah didn’t care how much energy it required or how nasty a rift might taste, as long as she could get away.
Leah stepped up to the plum tree, drawing a breath. She was really going to do this. She was making a true fugitive of herself. She was breaking the tree-rifting ban and taking her child without Marcus’s permission.
Crying a little harder, she glided her hand across the rough bark of the tree. If she actually went through with this, it was a one-way ticket, unless she wanted to join her mom in prison and have her child taken from her.
Even if she wanted to tree rift home in the future, she’d be unable to return with her child after they were born. They’d require a Seeder employee at a cave to open a rift for them, and a specialty Boman jade for her child.
She wasn’t giving up this child, nor was she going to come back in shackles.
“You can do this,” she whispered.
As she extended her vine, touching it to the trunk, memories tugged at her. Kara, the Ivy girl who had taught her to rift in high school—they’d never talked again after Leah left the human world. Marcus—how calming it had been when he’d wrapped his arms around her when she’d been frustrated when practicing.
A muffled squeak escaped Leah’s lips, and she forced down the lump in her throat.
Do it. Leave. Be a coward.
Leah pressed her vine harder against the bark, summoning her energy, focusing on the lower central channel for her energy as she’d been taught.
They don’t need you here anymore. They don’t want you. For good or bad, your part in this realm is done.
Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she directed her Ivy energy to her extended vine. It pulsated, lingering at the tip of her vine, waiting for her to make the final choice, to commit.
I’m not giving up. I’m giving up Soren’s legacy, Beata’s legacy. And this child will get the fresh start I never did.
And then she did it. Leah pushed her Ivy energy past her vine and into the tree. It instantly connected, and a coppery tang filled her mouth. Her energy mingled with that of the tree, and she slowly dragged her vine down, opening a rift, a seam between the realms.
Only a few inches into forming the rift, Leah struggled. Not physically.
The bark already hinted at peeling back, at being singed. She was stealing the life of this tree, the same one that had sustained her during her time here.
As she paused, all the self-doubt, the self-hatred, the secrets and lies and torment bombarded her. It was hell in her mind.
The same kind of hell she’d faced, the darkened haze she’d gone through, when she’d made the immeasurably rash decision to try to take her own aunt’s life.
Leah reeled her vine back in, panting. And then she sank onto her knees, rested her forehead against the tree trunk, and sobbed.
And sobbed.
Why was she so broken, so wrong, so destructive?
She knew the answer to that. She’d been made that way from the beginning. It was in her very nature.
Wrapping her arms around her stomach, she stayed there. Her tears watering the ground wouldn’t undo the damage she’d done to the tree, but it was the only penance she could offer. And she had nowhere to go, nothing to do, other than to let it all out.
It could have been minutes, but it felt more like hours that she knelt there, until she was interrupted.