Chapter 13
Operation Alien Hunt

Nicholas’s mom came to pick him up before breakfast on Saturday but asked if he could come back around dinnertime so that she and Nicholas’s dad could head back to the hospital. It was the perfect setup, since we’d called Frank after we got back from Brusco’s last night and filled him in about Mr. Schneider being an alien. Frank had promised to come over the next day with his telescope. He even remembered to ask his mom first.

Mom hardly ever ordered pizza for dinner, but tonight she surprised us with a delivery from Roma’s. She even ordered a side of their famous garlic knots. I don’t know if they were actually famous, but they could have been. That’s how good they were. I think she felt bad that our celebration of Dad’s promotion got cut short. I felt bad too, and not just ’cause I didn’t get to have flaming ice cream. Anyway, Roma’s pizza and world-famous garlic knots were a pretty good way to celebrate if you asked me.

“Impressive telescope you brought over, Frank,” Dad said while we ate.

Last night when we got home, Dad had barely said anything, but tonight he seemed back to being excited about his big news.

“Thanks,” Frank said, although it came out sounding more like a grunt since he’d shoved almost an entire piece of pizza in his mouth just as Dad started talking to him.

“It’s the Spacetron Z7000. He got it for his birthday.” I figured I’d help Frank out. Plus, I was worried about what might come flying out of his mouth if he tried to speak again.

“Going stargazing tonight, boys?” Mom asked.

“They’re searching for UFOs so they can capture Martians and save the galaxy,” Alice scoffed. “Soon our basement will be full of a bunch of little green men.” She glanced over to the boxes on the counter. ‘We’re definitely going to need more pizza. I heard those aliens eat a lot.”

“Oh, Alice,” Mom said, “let the boys have their fun. It’s a nice warm night. After that awful winter we had, we could all use this early spring. The sky’s nice and clear too. I’ll bet you’ll be able to see the Big Dipper.”

“And it’s a full moon,” Dad added.

“Even better,” Alice said with a laugh. “You can watch for werewolves too.” She leaned across the table toward me and said, “I heard Mr. Schneider is one.”

“That’s enough, Alice,” Mom warned.

“What?” she asked. “Grace Amato’s brother told her he saw one once. They don’t always go back to normal after the full moon goes away, you know.”

Mom shook her head. “That’s just some old spooky campfire story someone made up. It’s not real.”

“All I’m saying,” Alice continued, “is that I got a real good look at Mr. Schneider’s hands when he was at the bakery yesterday. Danny can tell you—he’s a lot hairier than a person should be.”

Dad put his slice of pizza down to examine his own hands.

“I said that’s enough, Alice,” said Mom sternly. “Aren’t you going over to Terri’s house? You’re going to be late.”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m going.” She stood up, mouthed “werewolf” at me, and headed out the door.

“I thought your sister said Mr. Schneider was part spider,” Frank said.

“I thought he was an alien,” Nicholas added.

Mom glared at us.

“We should set up outside,” I said, standing up. “It’s starting to get dark out.”

“Stay in the backyard, take your sweatshirts, and don’t go any farther than the fence,” Mom told us. “And be in by nine-thirty.”

Out in the living room, we grabbed Frank’s telescope and some other supplies I’d thrown in my backpack earlier, including my Super-Secret Spy Notebook. I’d never shown it to anyone, not even Frank, but since we were all in this together, it seemed like a good time.

“The last thing I need to be worrying about is them wandering around in the dark with a kidnapper on the loose.” Mom’s voice trailed out of the kitchen.

“Oh, they’ll be fine, Barbara,” Dad responded. “They’ll only be a few feet away.”

“We’re all set.” I walked back into the kitchen with Nicholas and Frank.

“Here.” Mom handed us a couple of flashlights and a bag that held the rest of the garlic knots. “The aliens might be hungry.”

“Thanks.”

“Listen,” Dad said, taking the bag out of my hands and pulling two knots out for himself before giving it back to me. “Keep those Martians outside, you hear? I don’t want to have to clean green slime out of the basement.”

“Got it,” I said. We headed out the back door with our supplies.

Frank picked a spot clear of the trees and set up the telescope while I grabbed three chairs from the patio.

“You know, it kind of makes sense,” Nicholas said.

“What makes sense?” I asked.

“What your sister said. That Mr. Schneider is part werewolf.”

“You think everything my sister says makes sense,” I told him. “I thought we already decided he was an alien.”

“He could be both,” Frank said. “And it would explain a lot.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Frank went on, “it’s like your sister was saying—Mr. Schneider is super hairy on his arms and hands. Maybe on his legs too.”

“Ew,” I said.

“And I get where the spider thing comes from, especially with those bulging eyes, but the hair on his hands is definitely more like fur than spidery fuzz. Plus, spiders have eight legs. So I think we can cross that one off of the list. Besides, I thought his teeth were a little fanglike when he was talking to us the other day.”

“Yeah,” Nicholas agreed, “I noticed that too.”

“Wouldn’t that make him a vampire?” I asked.

“No, not vampire fangs, wolf-type fangs,” Nicholas explained. “And his voice got kind of growly when he told us to go to the kitchen.”

“So where does the alien part come in? You said he could be both.” I took a seat in the chair farthest from the bushes that lined our backyard. If Mr. Schneider was part werewolf, he’d probably want to hide out in woods. And since we didn’t have any woods, he’d have to use our bushes.

“Well, he can’t switch back to human,” Frank explained, “because he isn’t human. He’s alien. So a guy that appears kind of human but still has extra-hairy hands is the best the Martians could come up with, I guess.”

“Yeah, okay.” I pulled my book out of my backpack.

“What’s that?” Frank asked.

“My Super-Secret Spy Notebook. We can use it to keep track of clues, but you have to swear that whatever we write in here stays between us. Deal?”

Frank and Nicholas nodded. Then we all put our hands on top of the book.

“Swear,” we all said together.

I started to turn to my Unsolved Mysteries page but decided this investigation was important enough for a space of its own. I opened to an empty page and started writing.

Operation Alien Hunt

Facts:

  1. Missing boats & planes from Bermuda Triangle were zapped by UFOs.
  2. The kid from Mayson was kidnapped by White Van Guy.
  3. The white van with the kidnapped kid was zapped by the Bermuda Triangle UFO.
  4. Mr. Schneider drives a white van and is a werewolf alien.
  5. Missing Mayson kid is being held on a faraway planet with missing Bermuda Triangle boats and planes.
  6. Mr. Schneider IS A WEREWOLF WHITE VAN BERMUDA TRIANGLE ALIEN KIDNAPPER!!!

Seeing the words on paper made it feel a thousand times more real. I glanced sideways at the bushes again and made sure my flashlight was on its brightest setting. “Anything else?”

“The reward?” Nicholas said.

“Right.”

7. $2,000 reward for leads!

“That’s pretty much it,” Frank said. His voice sounded a little shaky as his eyes darted upward. “Guess we’d better have a look through the telescope. I’ll go first.”

He walked over to the telescope to see if he could find any proof of werewolf white van Bermuda Triangle alien UFOs in the sky.