I hung out in my room a little longer until the party downstairs started to clear out. Then I walked down the stairs into the living room where my dad was saying goodbye to some of his guests. After they finally left, I said, “I’m going to go over to Seth’s now, okay?”
“You’re going right now?” he snapped, clearly still upset with me.
“Yeah, can I?”
“Well, if you wait a few minutes I’ll give you a ride. There are still some people out back and you haven’t been around much. I think you should stay a little longer.”
“Dad, I can just walk. It’s not like it’s far.” I was trapped in the lie and there was no way out.
“All right. What time are you going to be home tomorrow?”
“Uhh, I don’t know. In the morning probably.”
“Okay, because I want us all to go to church tomorrow morning at 10:00. Can you be home by then?”
“Church? Really?” When Mom was home we went to church. Not every Sunday or anything, but quite a bit. Since she had left, we rarely went. In fact, we had only gone a couple of times in the last three months.
“Yes, really.”
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” I walked out the front door with a hole in my stomach that ached a little bit. I hoped it would go away.
I turned left on the sidewalk even though the Super America where I was meeting Seth was to the right. Seth’s house was to the left and I didn’t want my dad to get suspicious before I even left his sight, so I walked all the way around the block.
When I got to the store a few minutes later, Seth was already manhandling one of the video games as I walked in. I walked up to him and put my hand up high on the game, leaning in to see what he was playing. It was a game that involved shooting and blowing up things. Shocker.
“Hey,” he said, his eyes plastered to the screen and his body jerking back and forth like he was playing dodge ball.
“Hey. Ready to go?”
“Yeah. Just a minute. I’m just about to kill this bastard!” A couple of moments later I heard a loud screeching sound and then the screen went completely white. “Damn. I can never beat that guy.” He turned toward me and led the way out of the Super America. “So, you ready for this? It’s gonna be tight.”
“Yeah, but I was thinking on the way over here. What exactly are we going to do? We’re not gonna hang out with high school kids all night, are we? We’ll look like idiots.”
“I don’t know, man. We’ll just play it by ear. No rules, remember?” Seth sounded confident.
Chris lived about a mile from the Super America. He was one of the cockiest kids I knew. He was a really good athlete, and he made sure everyone knew about it. He lifted weights, so he was always taking his shirt off. He thought, “the chicks were into it.” His exact words. Jackass.
We wound our way down Minnehaha Parkway along the creek. I always thought that if I couldn’t get a house on Lake Nokomis or Lake Harriet, living on the “Parkway” was the next best thing in Minneapolis. The snow melt made the creek rush. It was one of my favorite sounds. It made me wonder where the water was going, where I was going.
Chris’s house was big. Not quite as big as some of those houses on Lake Calhoun or Harriet, but it was pretty big. I never figured out what his parents did. I don’t think I ever cared enough to ask. The few times I had seen his dad though, he was usually in a suit, so I assumed he was a businessman of some sort. His house was made entirely of brick and had a bunch of that obnoxious ivy crawling up and down it. I never understood why anyone would want plants growing on their house. That’s what yards were for, right?
As we strolled up the sidewalk, Seth was a couple of feet ahead of me. Before we even reached the door, Chris popped out onto his front steps (with his shirt off, of course) and said, “What’s up, fellas? You’re just in time. I just ordered some pizzas. The ’rents left a bunch of cash.” That was classic Chris. He didn’t wait to see what we wanted to do for dinner. He just made the decision. Not that I was complaining about pizza, but no one had much say when they were around him.
“Nice!” said Seth.
“Yeah, sounds good,” I echoed. It did actually sound pretty good. When we got inside I immediately wondered why anyone would ever risk having a party there. It was an amazing home. I couldn’t imagine messing anything up. There was nice china sitting around everywhere (Well, they were cool looking dishes at least. I don’t even really know what makes dishes “china.”), there was a huge HDTV on the wall, really nice furniture, and all of these cool, little surround-sound speakers everywhere. Chris’s brother had balls for having a party there. That was for sure.
We camped out on the couch, watched part of The Lord of the Rings on cable (even Hobbits looked cool on a system like Chris’s), ate our pizza and vegged out for a couple of hours.
Chris’s brother, Jeff, came home at about 6:30 with a couple of his friends. Jeff was one of the star football players at Minneapolis South High School and his friends were on the team. When they walked in I could feel the floor rumble a little bit. I thought it might just have been the surround sound, but I was pretty sure it was them.
“Hey,” said Jeff glaring at Chris.
“What?”
“Remember, you guys gotta stay upstairs tonight. That’s the deal. Got it?”
“Yeah, we got it.”
Seth and I glanced at each other. That was news to us, but I couldn’t say I was surprised. What high school student would want his little brother hanging around one of his parties? So, we were going to be cooped up all night in Chris’s bedroom. I could picture it already. I’d sit there quietly for hours as Chris and Seth swore at each other in the midst of another series of riveting video games. Chris was one of the only guys who could rival Seth in time spent playing those things. I guessed the night wouldn’t be much different than if his parents were home.
Jeff and his friends went out the back door and we heard them lugging something in a couple of minutes later. Seth peered around and looked into the kitchen. “Hey, Chris, your brother got a keg I think!”
Chris got up from the couch and walked to where he could see the kitchen. “Yeah, I thought they might.”
“How did they do that?” I asked.
Chris looked at me as if I was the dumbest person on the planet. “Are you serious?” he said as Seth giggled. “It’s called a fake ID. I’m pretty sure everyone at my brother’s school has one.” I turned back to the TV and pretended to watch the commercials.
I should have been a fortuneteller. We were up in Chris’s room and he and Seth were talking trash to each other while playing some football game on Playstation. I watched, bored out of my mind. We could hear the rumblings of the party below us. The music, the laughing, and the people coming up the stairs to use the bathroom.
I tried to include myself in the “conversation.” “So, Seth, they said my Mom made it to the hospital in Washington, D.C.”
“That’s cool man. So, she’s gonna be okay? Ahh … you son of a bitch!” He quickly got distracted by his most important priority—getting his quarterback sacked by Chris’s team.
“Yeah, I think she’s gonna be okay.”
“What are you guys talking about?” asked Chris.
“Tim’s Mom was in Iraq and got blown up. She’s in the hospital,” said Seth.
“God, that sucks. Sorry about that,” replied Chris, his eyes still riveted to the screen.
“Yeah, thanks.” I could see they didn’t want to be bothered with my petty issues. Chris had everything in his room—a TV, Playstation, computer, and stereo. I wondered if his parents ever sent him to his room for a punishment. What kind of punishment would that be? I looked at the computer on his desk for a second and had an idea. “Hey, Chris. Can I use your computer?”
“I don’t care. Do you know how to use it?” He was actually serious.
“Yeah. I think I can figure it out.”
“Are you gonna find some “sexy singles” again?” Seth said, laughing.
“That’s hilarious,” I responded as I turned on the computer. I checked my email. Nothing good. All junk. I thought about emailing Nicole, but then I had a better idea. “I gotta go to the bathroom,” I said heading toward the door.
“All right, but don’t get beat up by my brother’s friends,” said Chris.
I walked into the hallway, and the noise of the party was much louder. The sounds of the video games must have really drowned it out. I walked over to the railing and looked down into the living room. There were tons of people down there. It was sort of like my parents’ parties except there was loud music, a lot more people, and it really looked like people were having fun. I stared down the hallway and saw Chris’s parents’ room, so I walked toward it hoping to find a little privacy. I peered into the “master bedroom” (I thought one had to be really rich to call the parents’ bedroom a “master bedroom”), slowly walked in and looked around. The bed had one of those canopy things on top of it, which reminded me of the fairy tale, The Princess and the Pea. I sat down on the bed, fished my phone out of my pocket, and stared at it, not sure if I should call. She didn’t come to the barbecue. She has her own stuff going on. I’m gonna look desperate and needy, I thought. After deliberating for five minutes, I finally searched my contacts, found Nicole’s number and dialed. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. I couldn’t decide if I wanted anyone to pick up or not.
“Hello?” The voice on the other end sounded tired and groggy, but I could tell it was Nicole’s.
“Nicole? Hey, it’s Tim.”
She quickly perked up. “Oh. Hi, Tim. How are you?”
“Good. I just wanted to call …” I paused. I realized I didn’t know exactly why I had called. I really just wanted to hear her voice. “Uh, I just called to see how your dance rehearsal went today.”
“Oh. It was fine. Sorry I couldn’t make it to your Dad’s barbecue.”
“Yeah, that’s okay. I didn’t even think he was going to have it.”
“Any news on your mom?” She spoke sincerely.
“They just sent her to the Army hospital in Washington, D.C., but we won’t know much for a little while. They don’t even want us to go see her right away.”
“God that must be scary—not knowing what’s happening with her.”
“Yeah, it is. What have you heard from your cousin?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary,” she said relieved. “I guess that’s a good thing, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess it is.” I suddenly had a desire to defeat the “wussness.” “So, do you want to go out and do something sometime? Maybe a bunch of us could go to a movie or something?”
“Yeah, that’d be fun.” Her voice had more energy than when she answered the phone. “And if you ever want to talk about your mom or whatever, just call me.”
“Okay, thanks. Well, I’ll talk to you later or see you at school or something.” Very smooth.
“All right. Bye, Tim.”
After hanging up the phone I stayed sitting on the bed for a couple of minutes. Then I got up and started back toward Chris’s room when I heard the voices of two girls coming up the stairs. We met at the top. They both had red plastic cups in their hands. They were about the same height, but one had blond hair (I don’t think it was really blond though) and the other had really black hair. I had a marker I used a lot in Art class that was that really dark color. I remember I used it when we were drawing silhouettes. Both girls were very pretty. I didn’t see girls like that in seventh grade.
“Hey,” the blond one said. “What’s your name?” They were both smiling and giggling.
“I’m Tim.”
“What’s your last name?” she asked. The dark-haired girl was obviously the quieter one.
“Hansen.”
“So, what are you doing here? Are you a friend of Jeff’s brother or something?”
“Yeah. We were just hanging out in his room.”
The dark-haired one chimed in. “Are you Jenna Hansen’s brother? You look kind of like her.”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Really? You’re Jenna’s brother?” the blond asked. They didn’t seem like the kind of friends Jenna would normally hang out with, but I guessed high school must be a small world or something. “You gotta come with us.”
The blond girl grabbed my hand and led me down the stairs into the “don’t you dare come downstairs because you are only a seventh grader” party. I was scared shitless.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs the fancy living room had been transformed into Animal House. The stereo was pounding with the Black Eyed Peas and people were dancing all over the nice rugs. Everyone was holding those red cups, which I assumed held the beer from the keg that was brought in earlier, but I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. But based on the amount of laughter, swearing, and basic destruction taking place, I think it was a logical assumption.
I had no idea there was that many people in the house while I was sitting up in Chris’s bedroom. It kind of reminded me of when Moses went up that mountain and all of his followers turned into complete whack-jobs for forty days (our family watched The Ten Commandments last Easter). Not that I was comparing myself to Moses or anything, but I felt like a death-seeking lightning bolt was about to strike everyone down.
After surveying the situation I realized my two new “friends,” who by the way, were more than pretty, they were downright hot, had left me. I saw them across the room talking to someone who had just walked in the door. I looked at the clock above the TV. It was 10:00 and it looked like the party was just getting started. I realized then that I was standing all by myself looking like an idiot. A few curious glances shot my way, so I turned around and started back up the stairs. But then I stopped. I didn’t want to go back to Chris’s room. I didn’t want to be ignored anymore, so I turned back around and stood in the living room for a moment looking like a stranger that had just walked in off the street.
Chris’s brother Jeff was dancing with some girl in the living room and he hadn’t seen me yet, so I thought it would be wise to head for the kitchen. I cautiously poked my head into the brightest room in the house. Four guys were huddled around the silver, metal keg, which had been thrown into a garbage can. They were all drinking out of the red cups except one of the guys who had a glass mug filled with beer. He was taller than the others and was standing on the other side of the keg, while the other three were huddled together. They were all just leaning back and talking, unlike the “nonbelievers” that were in the living room. As I stepped into the kitchen, I realized I had no idea what to say, so I played it cool. “Oh, hey. Uhh, do you guys know where Chris is? Jeff’s brother?”
The tall guy with the mug gave what looked like genuine thought to the question and answered, “No, man. Sorry.” The others nodded. One of them was short and stocky and as soon as our “conversation” had ended he went to fill his cup again from the keg.
I didn’t know what to do. I felt ridiculous. I didn’t belong there, so I decided to head up to Chris’s room after all. “Okay, thanks,” I said as I started to turn around.
“Hey, wait,” the mug guy called. “Come over here.” I slowly turned around and crept over to where they were standing. “Are you one of Chris’s friends?”
“Uhh, yeah.” I didn’t feel it was the right time to go into how I really felt about Chris, so I kept it simple.
“What’s your name?”
“Tim Hansen.”
“Are you Jenna Hansen’s brother?”
“Yeah,” I said with some conviction. I was beginning to not feel like such a loser.
“I thought you looked familiar. I was at your house last year to work on an English project with Jenna and I remember seeing you there.”
“Yeah, that’s right. I remember that.” I had no recollection of that whatsoever. The short, stocky guy chimed in. “You’re Jenna Hansen’s brother? Nice. She’s pretty hot.”
“Dude, don’t be a dumbass! This’s her little brother.” The mug guy made it clear who was in charge. “Hey, man. Do you think Jenna is going to be here tonight?”
“Uhh, I don’t know. I haven’t really talked to her much lately.” I couldn’t decide if I wanted Jenna to be at the party or not. Normally, I would say absolutely not, but at that point at least she would be someone I knew.
“All right. That’s cool. Hey, do you want a beer?” The mug guy pointed to the keg. I had only tasted beer once. My dad gave me a sip of his one night while we were watching a movie together. It was The Natural I think. It was always one of my dad’s favorite movies, so I thought I’d seen it twenty times already. I remembered the taste of the beer though. I thought a big mug of gasoline might have tasted better.
I stared at the keg for a moment, looked behind me to see if my dad was there, and said, “Umm, yeah. Sure.” Wussness.
Everyone seemed to be laughing around me. The mug guy, the short stocky guy, their two other friends, and a flurry of people who had come and gone from the kitchen. It was okay though because I was laughing too. I had finished three beers or it might have been four. I was not quite sure, but suddenly I didn’t feel uncomfortable anymore. The mug guy and his friends left the kitchen after a while, so I followed them into the living room with my red cup in hand. It was empty, but I still wanted to hold the cup. As I walked out of the kitchen the music became louder, and it thumped my brain hard. I saw a few people smiling and pointing at me, so I smiled back at them. I think I saw Chris’s brother Jeff give me a dirty look, but I wasn’t sure if it was him or not.
The clock above the TV said 12:00. I wondered what Chris and Seth were doing upstairs. As I was about to go up and find out, I heard the front door open. It was Josh, Jenna’s boyfriend, but Jenna was not with him. He was talking to a couple of people just inside the door when I walked over to him. “Josh!”
“Tim? What are you doing here?” He looked at my empty red cup.
“I’m spending the night with Chris and Seth upstairs.”
“Upstairs?”
“Yeah, upstairs.”
“C’mere Tim.” He ushered me into the kitchen, grabbed my cup, and threw it in the trash. I hopped up and sat on the counter. “You shouldn’t be down here, Tim, and you definitely shouldn’t be drinking.”
“Hey, we’re all underage. What difference does it make if I’m really underage?” I said with a smart-ass grin. Josh didn’t smile.
“Do you realize how badly your dad would kick your ass if he found out about this? Where does he think you are anyway?”
“He thinks I’m spending the night over at Seth’s house. It’s fine. He’ll never know.”
“You’ve got to go upstairs and sleep this off. Come on.” He motioned to me to follow him, but I didn’t budge.
“How come Jenna isn’t here?” I asked.
“She didn’t want to come.”
“Did you guys break up or something?”
Josh stopped in his tracks. He turned around slowly, maneuvered back toward me, and leaned up against the refrigerator. I could hear Evanescence blaring in the next room. “I don’t know,” he said calmly.
At that moment two guys rushed into the kitchen. “Hey, what’s up, Josh?” one of them said as he pumped the keg and filled his red cup.
“What’s up?” Josh replied looking right at me. When they finally left he continued. “I don’t know if we broke up or not. She’s been very hard to read lately.”
“I know. I know! She’s driving me crazy too!” I definitely was feeling the bond between Josh and me.
“You remember when she and I were fighting up in her room a couple of weeks ago?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“Well, she was pissed at me because I recommended that she go see someone. You know, like a counselor or something. I thought it might help her deal with your mom being gone, but she flipped. It doesn’t matter how many times I apologize either. She doesn’t want to admit that she’s changed since your mom was sent to Iraq.” He quickly changed the subject. “By the way, I’m real sorry to hear about what happened to your mom.”
“Did Jenna tell you?” I asked.
“Yeah. She came over right after your dad broke the news. I hope she’s going to be okay.”
“My mom or Jenna?” I was having a hard time following any train of thought at that point.
“Both,” said Josh with a smirk.
“I know Mom being gone has been tough on Jenna, but she’s my mom too, and you don’t see me flipping out and acting all weird.” Josh glanced at the keg and then gave me a funny look, his right eyebrow raised slightly.
“She and your mom were really close though. I think she may have told her more than she even told me, and we’ve been going out for almost two years.”
I giggled a little because I thought it was funny that a junior in high school called it “going out” too. “Yeah, but she still has you to talk to and tell stuff to. I don’t really have anyone.”
“What about your buddies upstairs?”
“Seth? Chris? Come on.”
“Okay, but what about your dad?”
“I don’t even want to talk about him right now.”
Before Josh had a chance to respond, Seth and Chris popped their heads into the kitchen. They both glanced at each other and started smiling. “What happened to you?” Seth asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been gone for almost two hours,” Chris said with his crooked lip that meant, “How dare you do something without my permission.”
Josh stepped in. “We were just hanging out down here.” Josh’s expression changed. He had a great idea. I pictured a little light bulb glowing above his head. “You guys want to do something crazy? A few of us are heading out toward the airport to lie under the planes. It’s pretty intense.” I had heard about people doing that before, but I had never tried it. There was a grassy area right by the airport where you could lay down and then the planes would scream right over your head. It was supposed to make you feel like the plane was falling on you or something. It never sounded that cool before, but hearing it from Josh’s mouth made it sound awesome.
“Tim,” Seth said obviously avoiding Josh’s question. “Is Jenna here?”
I stared at him. He was unbelievable. He knew Josh was Jenna’s boyfriend. Josh just laughed. “No, she’s not here Seth,” I said. He looked surprised by the snotty way I answered him. “Let’s go check out the planes,” I said as I jumped down from the countertop. When I hit the floor the room spun ever so slightly. It felt like a bad amusement ride for a second.
“You all right?” Josh asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Chris and Seth looked confused. “You guys coming?” I asked them as we headed out of the kitchen.
“No, that sounds pretty lame,” Chris decided.
Seth nodded in agreement. “Why would you want to do that?” he added.
“It sounds pretty cool to me,” I said.
“Okay, have fun with that,” said Seth sarcastically as he turned and followed Chris upstairs.
I watched them go back into Chris’s bedroom, undoubtedly to play more video games. Wasn’t it Seth’s idea to come to this great party? I thought. All he did was talk. I followed Josh to the front door where he gathered with two of his friends. I recognized one of them as Jordan Buchanan. He was one of my sister’s friends too. I didn’t know him very well, but Jenna always said he was a really cool guy. She said he was one of those guys that could be friends with just about anyone. I think I overheard her talking about him with Mom once because he was going to a dance with her friend Josie or something. Jenna said that, “the dumb high school cliques didn’t apply to him.” He was a tall, black guy with a build that looked like he worked out a little, but not enough to show everyone that he worked out. The other guy I had never seen before, but he introduced himself as “Shep.” Who would name their son “Shep?” I thought. I realized later that his last name was Shepler. Apparently I wasn’t thinking too clearly at the time.
We walked out the door straight toward Josh’s Jeep. I was excited to ride in it again. It had been a while. It was parked halfway on the curb and halfway in the driveway so it would fit between some of the other cars. I climbed into the back seat and Josh had the top off, so I gripped the padded bar that was overhead as tightly as I could. I was about to go on an adventure and it didn’t include a Playstation controller or blowing up fake aliens on a TV screen. It was real.