I stood, staring at the closed door of my mom’s hospital room for what seemed like forever, but the clock in the hallway said it had only been a couple of minutes. I didn’t have to go to the bathroom like I told Nicole. I was frozen, afraid to see what had become of my own mother. Finally, I palmed the door handle and pulled it open slowly, poking my head in. My feet didn’t want to follow. Not right away, at least. Nicole and her dad turned toward me and gave me an “it’s okay, come on in” kind of smile. So I did.
Nicole, Mr. Thompson, and Josh were standing back near the wall, obviously trying to stay out of the way. The room was tiny, and I could tell it was outdated. There were cracks in the ceiling and walls. The smell I’d noticed in the elevator surfaced again. The article on the Internet had complained of “mouse-droppings” and “cockroaches.” I didn’t see anything like that, but there was definitely a little to be desired from the accommodations.
Mom had the room all to herself, which I was happy about. We visited my grandpa in the hospital once (he had hip surgery, I think) and he had to share a room. I remember a lot of whispering, so that his roommate couldn’t hear everything we said. I thought that was weird. Being sick shouldn’t have to be shared with strangers.
Mom lay between Dad and Jenna. Dad was on the right side of the bed and Jenna was across from him leaning against the bed railing. Both of them were sitting in creaky, wooden chairs. Dad was stroking Mom’s forehead, and Jenna was holding her hand. She was covered up with blankets and her bed was tilted slightly up, so she could see everyone.
A bunch of wires were hooked up to her. I couldn’t see where they went and I didn’t have any idea what they were doing, but it looked like she could be unplugged, like an alarm clock. Her right leg was wrapped and raised up into the air with a pretty fancy contraption. Her left arm was on top of the blankets in a sling. I remembered Dad telling us she had also broken her collarbone. On the right side of her face a white bandage covered part of her right eye and most of her cheek. I wasn’t sure if she could see out of that eye or not. Her bright, red hair was scattered across her pillow. For just a second it made me proud to have red hair.
“Hi, honey,” she mustered breathlessly. Her voice sounded weak, like someone was pulling on the other end of it, trying to keep it inside.
“Hi, Mom.” I stood back toward the wall where Nicole was standing, too afraid to approach her bed. The person lying in that bed didn’t look like my mom. I didn’t want to get too close in case we were wrong about the room number. Maybe my mom was in a different room, without the broken bones, without the bandages. I felt short of breath, choked up. I could feel a tear forming in my right eye. I quickly wiped it before it had a chance to fall. I looked at Nicole to see if she had noticed. She hadn’t. She was staring at Mom.
I had imagined the worst for Mom. I’d tried to prepare myself, but there was no way to prepare for a moment like this. No one should have to see his mother in a hospital bed, helpless. I was finally able to pull it together. “How are you doing?” I asked cautiously.
“Well, not too bad considering … I could be feeling a whole lot worse.” It sounded like it was taking every ounce of energy for her to speak. “I’m much better now that you’re all here.”
Although it didn’t look like her, it certainly sounded like my mom. I felt more comfortable hearing her voice. “We’re glad we came too.” I stepped closer to the end of her bed and touched the blanket covering her left foot.
“Hi, Josh,” she said. “How are you doing?” She had always liked Josh, but she definitely looked surprised to see him there. I wondered if Dad had already explained our “adventure” while I was in the hall. It turned out he hadn’t.
“Hi, Mrs. Hansen. I’m doing well, thanks.” Josh sounded a little uncomfortable. He probably wanted to explain the situation—that we wouldn’t be there without him—but he kept quiet after that.
It was a struggle for Mom to talk. I backed up and leaned against the wall, nudging up against Nicole. Our shoulders were touching. It occurred to me that Mom might finally have the answer to her question—“How’s the girl situation?” I swear I saw her smile as I stood next to Nicole.
“David and Nicole, thank you so much for coming. You really didn’t need to come all this way,” Mom said after taking a moment to regain her breath.
“Think nothing of it,” said Mr. Thompson. “I’m just glad to see you doing as well as you are.”
“I’m glad we could make it, Mrs. Hansen,” said Nicole.
“How’s your cousin doing?” Mom asked. It was amazing that she was worried about someone else at that moment. “I heard he was sent to Afghanistan.”
Nicole looked up to her dad. Her dad motioned with his head as if to say, “Why don’t you take this one?” Nicole did. “As far as we know, he’s okay. But it’s hard to always get updates. Hopefully everything is going all right,” she said.
Mom smiled, but she didn’t seem to be able to manage any other words. I hoped Nicole’s cousin was okay. Nicole had come all the way to Washington, D.C., to see my mom and I hadn’t asked her how her cousin was doing for a long time. I felt bad about that. Dad had said, “Good friends support you no matter what.” Nicole was doing that. I needed to do the same for her.
No one said much of anything for a while. The hands on the clock slowly, painfully, moved from number to number. I could hear the second hand clicking with each moment that ticked away.
I saw Dad whisper into Mom’s ear a couple of times, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. Jenna was fighting back tears, I could tell. She didn’t say much. Holding Mom’s hand was probably enough.
We had been in the room for a half hour before Adira poked her head in. “Sorry, guys, but we should probably let Jessica sleep for a while. She needs her rest.”
Dad whispered something else in Mom’s ear and then kissed her on her forehead. “We’ll see you later, okay?” he said. Mom nodded.
“Bye, Mom,” said Jenna as she gave her a light hug, careful not to hurt her. I went and put my hand on her foot again. “See you later, Mom.”
“Okay, honey,” she said. “Thanks for coming.”
Josh, Nicole, and Mr. Thompson said their goodbyes, and we filed out into the hallway. I leaned my back up against the door. All of us circled around Adira, like we were waiting for a miracle or something, like we were waiting for her to tell us everything would be back to normal the next time we saw Mom. But before she had a chance to speak, I turned around, opened the door, and walked into Mom’s room again.
She looked like she was sleeping already. As I tiptoed toward her bed, her eyes opened slowly. “Hey, honey. Did you forget something?” she muttered.
“Yeah.” I moved over to the right side of the bed, where Dad had been. I put my hand on hers and said, “I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Tim. I’ll be home before you know it,” she said with the biggest smile she could conjure.
“Yeah, I know you will.” Her eyes were lifeless, not the bright, confident eyes I was used to. It was my mom and I knew she was in there somewhere, but she hadn’t come home. Not yet.