My sister didn’t meet my eyes as she carefully lifted a slice of pizza onto her plate. She picked up a fallen chunk of pineapple with her fingers and popped it into her mouth. “You know, after you two got it together again the other night, I thought maybe you were beginning to have a change of heart about patching things up?”
“I still love Steve, Lou. I can’t turn my feelings off and on like a tap. But he made it very clear when he bought this place that whatever we had together was going nowhere. I have to face reality, he’s got someone else and he’s drifting back to the music scene.” I blinked back the ever-present threat of tears. I was so sick of crying.
“Steve still loves you, too, I know he does. You can tell by the way he looks at you. Whenever you need him, he’s there for you. I don’t see why you two can’t just get together and work all this out. This Chloe girl for instance, how do you know she’s his girlfriend?” Lou took a slurp of juice.
“Nasreen saw them together. He goes to the pub to see her all the time.”
“Oh Kate, lets face it: Nasreen isn’t the most reliable of witnesses, is she?
She’d love nothing better than for the two of you to properly split up. I’m sure in her head she thinks she’d be in with a chance with Steve if you were out of the picture.”
“I can’t compete with a girl who’s ten years younger than me.”
“Have you ever asked Steve about Chloe? I mean properly asked, not just hinted or assumed.”
I got up from my seat and went and pulled some tissues from the box on the counter to blow my nose. “No. How could I? We’d split up, his love life was his affair.”
“Well maybe you should, before it’s too late. Is a wedding ring really that important to you, Kate?”
“It wasn’t about the wedding ring. It was about us wanting the same things, planning a life together, a future. I’m over thirty, Lou, I want a family.” A cool breeze passed over my back.
Lou’s lips moved and I guessed she was muttering to herself under her breath.
“I think it’s stupid. You two are so stubborn. Steve’s never said he doesn’t want those things too has he?”
“Not in words, but he knew what I wanted.”
“Well, I still think it’s stupid. This house could be your forever house if you can get rid of your ghost, it’ll be fabulous when it’s finished. Otherwise, this way you’re miserable and I’m pretty sure Steve is miserable too.”
I sat down. “This place? No way, I can’t wait to sell it, and you know Steve isn’t good at talking about things, especially relationship type things.”
Lou tilted her head to one side and looked at me. “And, maybe you aren’t so good at listening to him when he tries?”
This sounded a bit rich from someone whose own life wasn’t in such great shape. Even if a tiny bit of my conscience did concede that she might have a point.
“Anyway, oh relationship expert, what’s happening with Jamie and Gary?
Jamie was here last night pouring his heart out to me over a tin of beer. I think you’ve knocked him for six with news of the baby.” I regretted sounding quite so snappy as soon as the words were out of my mouth and the hurt showed in Lou’s eyes.
“It went about as well as you’d expect.”
I nibbled at a slice of my pizza. “What happened?”
“Gary was ecstatic. He’s convinced the baby is his and he’s blanked out any possibility that Jamie might be a candidate, or even that he’s in my life. He’s already turned up at the flat clutching a four foot high teddy bear.” She sighed and took another sip of her juice. “Jamie just seemed dazed. I think if I’d said it was definitely his then he would probably have reacted like Gary but I guess the whole ‘who’s the daddy thing’ doesn’t exactly put me in a good light.”
“I’m sorry.” I reached across the table to squeeze her hand. “Jamie does seem to genuinely like you. It’s all been rather sudden I suppose for both of you.”
“Yeah, well, we’ll see how it goes. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to Mum and I’m okay going it alone if that’s how it pans out.”
“You know I’m here for you and the baby.” I realised I was quite looking forward to becoming an aunty and having a little one to spoil.
She managed a half-smile. “Between me, you and mum we’re not very great at relationships, are we?”
I smiled back. “I guess not.”
Lou didn’t stay late as she wanted to get back to her flat before it grew dark.
The atmosphere between us was still strained, as if we had both said a little too much.
I decided I’d get an early night myself. I had no idea how long the paranormal team would be in the cottage tomorrow or if we’d have to stay up all night. As I washed up the plates in the sink I stared down the garden at the empty caravan and wondered if I’d see Steve in the morning.
* * *
I woke to the sound of rain pelting down. The trees and bushes outside the cottage thrashed about while the wind moaned over the chimney pots. It felt more like October than August and I shivered as I stood in the kitchen eating my bowl of porridge.
When I finished eating I gave Mum a quick call.
“Hi; did you want me to come over today for a while?” I wasn’t sure but I thought I heard the faint murmur of conversation at the other end.
“No dear, its fine, Mrs Gulliver is here. I know you’ve a lot to get done at the cottage and those people are coming tonight, aren’t they?”
“Well, if you’re sure.” I t seemed rather early for Mrs Gulliver to have come over, but I had heard someone else’s voice.
“Oh definitely, I’m feeling much better today and I’m sure everything will get sorted out soon..”
I was certain she was hiding something. I could tell by the cagey, over-bright tone of her voice.
“I could drop you something in for lunch?” I gave it once last shot.
“No, really, it’s fine. Don’t come over. I’ll pop and see you on Sunday and you can tell me all about your spook hunt.”
I hung up wondering what she was hiding. After everything that had happened I wanted to go over anyway but she’d made it quite clear that I was to stay away. I spent the morning pottering around tidying up where I could and checking the supplies so we would be ready for the next phase of the renovations. It all felt rather aimless though without knowing if Steve intended to come back.
The weather didn’t improve. Even Mr Flibble, who was generally an all-weather cat, had decided to stay indoors and lay sprawled in his favourite spot on a piece of old carpet in front of the Aga. I’d just fired up the laptop ready to run through the accounts when the back door opened and Steve came in.
The shoulders of his pale grey hoodie were dark from the rain and his hair was plastered against his head. He closed the door behind him and stood inside the kitchen on the mat to shake the water from his hair. My heart climbed into my throat as I watched and waited for him to speak.
“I came to check if you were still going to go ahead with this séance thing tonight.” He pulled a hand towel off the drainer and rubbed at his hair until it stood up in spiky tufts like a hedgehog.
“Yes, of course I am.” There was a horrible air of tension between us.
“Louise and your friend, Mike are coming, you said?” He dropped the towel back down.
“Yes.” I waited for him to say he wouldn’t be there.
“Is it okay if I bring someone too?” His dark eyes bored into mine.
“Um, I suppose so.” I didn’t know what else to say. Like the coward that I am I didn’t want to ask who he might be bringing.
“I’ll see you at eight then.” And, as suddenly as he’d arrived, he left.
That was it, no mention of what he’d said on Thursday night, nothing. I frowned at the column of figures on the spreadsheet in front of me. All my heartache and tears for a two-second conversation with an aggravating, irritating man! I blew out a breath of frustration and my programme crashed. My nice neat row of numbers vanished and the dreaded blue screen appeared.
* * *
My pains began shortly after father returned home from inspecting the field crops. Mother and Dorcas are assisting me and the woman from the village is come to help. I am told she has safely delivered many babies and is highly recommended. I am very afraid and wish Joshua knew of my plight. I hope to God he is alive and safe.
* * *
I made a mental note to mention the crazy behaviour of all my electronic gadgets to the paranormal team. This wasn’t the first time my laptop, which worked perfectly outside the cottage, had gone into a complete meltdown inside the house.
My iPod often selected strange music when I was listening to one particular album and my mobile would play up changing ringtone or losing the connection.
I turned the computer off, deciding to reboot it later and hope that it had saved all my changes. Luckily I always made backups, something I’d become much more vigilant about since moving to this house.
Outside the kitchen window the buddleia thrashed its purple sprays in the wind sending tiny showers of petals into the air to be beaten to the ground by the deluge.
Puddles had formed on the path and water plinked noisily from the scaffolding. It looked as if it would be the perfect evening for a paranormal investigation.
By the time eight o’clock rolled round I was a bag of nerves. What if nothing happened? What if it was all in my mind and I was going mad? I pulled the corks on a couple of bottles of wine, arranged a couple of dishes of crisps in the kitchen and waited for my guests to arrive.
Lou and Mike were first to knock at the front door.
“Are they here yet?” Lou asked in a stage whisper as she hurried inside, tugging off her raincoat.
“No, they should be here anytime though.” I hung their coats on the hooks near the door while Lou and Mike went through into the kitchen for drinks.
“It’s the right kind of night for it, very atmospheric,” Mike said, indicating the lowering sky outside the kitchen window. Lou helped herself to crisps.
Another loud knock at the front door sent me scurrying back along the hall.
This time a plump cheerful looking man with a beard and two middle-aged women were on the step.
“You must be Kate.” The man extended his hand, “I’m Brian and this is Sarah and Mandy.”
I stood aside to let them into the hall. I wondered which, if any of them, was the mystical Beaner. Although I’d thought from earlier conversations with Brian that Beaner was probably male so perhaps he’d pulled out of tonight.
Neither of the women looked very mystical or psychic. Sarah had a lot of jangly home-made beaded jewellery while Mandy was round and rather jolly in floaty blue chiffon.
“Beaner will be along in a while.” Brian explained as I led the way to the kitchen.
I introduced the paranormal investigators to Louise and Mike while everyone helped themselves to a drink.
“This is a lovely old place.” Brian observed looking around the kitchen.
“So, how does this all work tonight, then? Is it like Most Haunted?”
I glared at Lou.
Brian’s posture stiffened a little. “Mand and Sarah are both gifted psychic mediums. I act as record keeper and if we think it necessary we use audiotape and infra-red cameras to capture any phenomena we might encounter.”
“We’re very experienced. We’ve had quite a lot of success.” Sarah added.
“No Ouija boards then?” Lou sounded disappointed.
“Sometimes we’ll use other methods to communicate with spirits if we think that’s appropriate, but its best done by professionals,” Sarah said.
“Are you expecting anyone else to join us this evening, Kate?” Brian asked.
“Um, only Steve, my um…” I wasn’t sure how to describe Steve any more.
“…my um, business partner and he said he might bring someone with him.”
Lou looked interested but didn’t seem surprised when I said Steve had invited somebody. I wondered if the someone might be Jamie.
Just then the back door opened letting in a squall of wind and rain. Steve stepped into the room first huddled inside his hoody. He was closely followed by her, in her high heels and short skirt.
“I take it this is everyone?” Brian smiled at me once more.
Right on cue there was another knock at the front door. I excused myself from the group and hurried along the hall to answer it. I don’t know quite what I’d expected the mystical Beaner to look like, but he turned out to be a tall, thin man with a face like a sad tortoise. Dressed in a black suit with a white shirt and black tie he reminded me of a professional mourner at a funeral. After the build up from Brian I wasn’t sure if I should offer to take his coat or drop a curtsey.
“You must be Kate, the young lady who is experiencing the phenomena?” He had a handshake like a dead fish, all cold and damp.
“Yes, that’s me.” I was aware that I sounded overly chirpy but my nervousness had kicked in big time.
“And are the others all assembled?” he fixed me with a cold, pale blue gaze that seemed to go right through me.
“Yes, everyone’s in the kitchen.” I led him through to where the others were all munching crisps and helping themselves to drinks.
The buzz of chit-chat stopped as soon as Beaner entered the room. He took a seat in the largest of the pine kitchen chairs and we all waited expectantly to see what would happen next.